Be me

>be me
>go to drive thru
>order my shit
>"anything else?" The dude asks me
>"Yeah I drank too much last night and pissed the bed"

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>be me
>go to drive thru
>order my shit
>"anything else?" the girl asks me
>"nah, i'm good. it was nice meeting you".
>".............uh, just drive up to the window".
>put car in reverse and attempt to drive home the other way instead because it's too awkward to take my food now
>dozen cars in line honk at me for going the wrong way
>possibly dent one of the cars because it's so narrow
>reach the back of the line and speed home

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>"it was nice meeting you"

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i was sweating for days from just remembering saying it, i have a problem. now this thread reminded me i have to go to another fast food place.

why didnt you just speed past the window fast enough so she didnt see you m8

too risky, and i think i saw an arm out of the window

I never understand this. I've got absolutely smashed, three day hangover and vomiting repeatedly drunk plenty of times and I've never pissed myself or the bed. I've never even heard about it being a thing, then all of a sudden I hear one guy say it on a podcast and now it's popping up all over the place.

>go to a barbers near by
>walk in and say to the lady at the desk "do you do haircuts" like a retard
>she just stares and says yes
>male barber shouts over to me "take a seat buddy I will be with you in a min"
>sit down and then realise I have to take my hoodie off
>take it off while sitting down and my t shirt comes up exposing my skinny fat belly
>look around embarassed knowing everyone seen
>sit and wait for my turn trying not to look autistic
>guy calls me for my turn and I sit down sweating like a priest in a playground knowing he is going to start small talk
>it was on Friday and he asks if I have the day off
>I am a NEET
>dont want to say that so my mind races through my town looking for a place to work
>say I work in the pub as a barman in my town
>he knows the place but does not recognise me
>starts asking how we have been coping with the covid and how many people we usually get
>just answer every question with "haha yeah" "ah you know yourself" "hehe yeah"
>starts telling me he was a barman for years
>starts talking about changing barrels and other shit I know nothing about
>just keep saying "yeah haha" like a retard
>he finishes up and tells me to pay the lady
>stumble like an autist for my wallet and hoodie
>as I am leaving he shouts "I will pop into the pub soon, you can buy me a round"
>grin and walk out saying nothing
>walk home in the rain contemplating suicide
I can never go back there lads, I want to kill myself fucking hell

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>at drive thru
>talking computer prompts me
>she sounds hot
>"anything else?"
>"Yeah could you uh, spit on my fries please, uWu?"

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Honestly don't get people like you, why can't you just stay in your house so we don't have to try and appease the entire fucking world for you. Everyone there knew you were socially awkward and still made the effort for you and you couldn't even have a bit of back and forth banter small talk. Buy a razor and cut your own hair from now on, cunt.

Hahaha

Fuck you faggot, why do you abrasive cunts need to talk to me about mundane bullshit. Just STFU and cut my hair you fucking wagie.

>go to barber
>barber says "sit down and I will get you sorted in a minute"
>sit down in the barber chair
>"uh I meant on the side in the waiting area"
>get up and leave without saying anything

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>Go to barbershop
>It's full
>Ask how long is the wait
>He ignores me
>Everyone else sitting in the waiting room is staring at me

Sorry the truth hurts, here's a little secret everyone you ever meet can immediately tell how much of an autistic socially awkward sport you are and dreads having to deal with you. Barber was probably dreading having to listen what you had to say to him. Stay in your fucking house next time freak stop making us normal people have to out up with mutants like you and your fucking awful life.

What a strange take. He said he dreaded smalltalk. Given that apparently everyone was aware of his autism, it seems strange they would then force him to expose it further through a banal verbal ritual, which seems clearly designed to appease their own insecurities at the expense of user. Guy should have shut the fuck up and cut his hair.

haha i bet she knows your license plate number

You just have to own that shit desu, walk in there and make that shit awkward for them. You pay them to cut your hair, not be friends.
>"You got a day off?"
>"Have I got a day off? Bitch I'm a NEET, I've got EVERY day off."
Or better yet, if you'd rather not talk, just say
>"I'm sorry, would it be alright not to talk? I'm not in a chatting mood, I'm afraid."
I believe in you user, you can do it. You're paying them to provide a service.

Why? He probably deals with normal people hour after hour day after day, but he has to change everything because some special cunt walks in the door who's a lil bit shy and doesn't like speaking in pubwic :(. Fuck that user as I said he should stay in his fucking house like the little mutant freak he is and stop bothering normal people because he can't handle normal social interaction like the rest of us.

they charge extra for silent haircuts

>someone else words things poorly
>my galaxy brain provides a multiple choice with 50 different possible answers
>choose the wrong one
>get blamed by mongoloids who don't talk 2 gud
Normies and other subhuman dreck can either learn to communicate and empathize or deal with the consequences; their inferior snickering is beneath me.

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Look at how the poor boy was fumbling during their conversation. Do you think he has enough confidence to shut a barber down?

I could try to make myself feel better knowing "I'm at least not that bad", but in the end, I'm still here with you and will die a virgin just like you. At least I could have a fucking excuse if I were this socially inept. I'm probably an even bigger failure for managing to fuck up this bad despite not being as autistic.
I hope you can find happiness one day, you did nothing to deserve this.

The same way your mother still smiles when she looks at you, people learn to pretend to like others. In a social job like a barber, you don't expect everyone to fit the same boring template of questioning.

>Barber puts in booking system
>Never have this problem again

>like the rest of us.
fuck the rest of you

You expect them to be able to at least form a sentence and not be afraid to speak to another human being

Are you feeling alright user

Stay in mummy and daddy's house faggot where you belong

video games?

Then that's perfect, just go for the silent ones. I'm not even autistic and if I had the option of paying a couple more pounds for a silent haircut that'd be amazing.

No sick of autistic cunts getting in the way of everyone else with their "social anxiety" excuse when in reality they're just retarded faggots and refuse to accept it

I thought I pissed myself one time in a drunken stupor because I woke up and my bed sheets were super damp, way too wet to have just been sweat.

But then I did some Sherlock Holmes investigating and deduced that I had jumped in the shower before going to bed without drying myself off.

Even drunk me knows the importance of cleanliness.

Social anxiety can be horribly debilitating bud. It used to be so bad for me that I would nearly faint when walking into a public place. Thankfully I've learned to overcome it mostly though.

>Order some Papa John's
>Delivery girl came sooner than expected
>"Enjoy your pizza!"
>"You too"
>Closed the door while watching the floor in disgrace
>GF laughing and mocking me up the entire night

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>Barber was probably dreading having to listen what you had to say to him.
>still made him talk
??????

>go to drive thru
>place my order
>"drive through to the next window" she says
>"Okay, thank you, pretty lady"
>have no idea what she looks like, it was meant to be a joke
>Hear giggling on the intercom
>pull up to next window
>She was so flattered she gives me her snapchat info
>never call her
>enjoy my burger and cheese curds at home

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whats cheese curds isnt curd something for cakes answer me

Yeah because normal people should have to change their lives around autistic retards, autistic retards should stay in their house far away from society and everyone else in it

This.

Well Game Freak do that regardless of your socially awkward tendencies anyway

midwest comfort food

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I want that

>go to grocery store on Friday
>its not the one I usually go to
>they normally have a guy that works there wiping each cart down before handing it to the shopper
>guy standing at the carts
>dude is dressed pretty formally in a hard blue and khakis, looks exactly like a grocery shop worker at first glance
>reach out my hand for him to hand me one
>"I don't work here buddy lol"
>every time I see him later in the store I have to purposefully ignore him
>it was laundry day so I was literally wearing slippers and an unironed bright t-shirt

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Is this the best looking game, dead ass?

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Dunno buddy, you don't seem very normal.
Stop trying to make a random dude who encountered an autistic user look like some fucking holocaust victim

The lesson here is that lying only makes things worse.

Also try applying for Walmart in Receiving or something. You'll be in the back for a good portion of the day unloading a truck and half your coworkers will be just as retarded as you, if not more so. Easy stuff.

did everyone clap?

I've never been to the barbers, seems scary desu

More like cheese turds haha am I right