I just beat the game and i have basically zero idea what it was about...

i just beat the game and i have basically zero idea what it was about. first i was fighting werewolves then some chtulhu cunts and then it was over?
also i feel like Zig Forums sucks this game's dick way too much. imo it felt like a slightly better ds3.

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Acquire more eyes.

It's only good if you turn into a squid.

>dodge diagonally the game
Souls kids are basically cod babies

I hope elden ring has BB transformations
Kos Parasite and the beast claws are way too fun

Basically the Yarnhamites discovered their city was built on top of the ruins of the city Pthumeru, which they come to call the Chalice Dungeons. The Pthumerians were basically demi-gods who worshipped Ayylmaos and some even ascended into an ayylmao form by acquiring insight.
This is all very well and good but The Pthumerians fucked off and accidentally(?) left behind an Ayylmao called Ebritas. The scholars of Bergenwyrth college went poking around in the chalice dungeons and found Ebreitas and were like "Holy shit it's a fucking alien". So they figured out a rudimentary way of communicating with her and as a gift (as the Ayys aren't evil or anything) she lets them take some of her blood which has extreme curative properties.
This was a mistake. As humans are greedy, depraved little fuckers, Lawrence, a former scholar decides to found a "healing church" to force humanity's evolution into extra-dimensional Ayylmaos like Ebritas by using blood. The Provost of the college, Willem, told Lawrence he's a fucking tool and not to go around drinking alien blood he found in the fucking sewer. Lawrence told the old man to suck a dick and promptly founded a church dedicated to doing exactly that.
Fast forward and the church realized they done fucked up because guess what drinking ayylmao blood in large amounts causes hideous mutations and it's extremely addictive.
Hunters become a thing and another Ayylmao called the Moon Presence steals Gehrman and makes him it's bitch for eternity, guiding a new hunter every night into murdering a newborn Ayylmao for reasons it keeps to itself.
You either do as the Moonpresence wants, kill the baby ayylmao and wake up and forget any of that bullshit ever happened or you kill the moon presence and become an Ayylmao yourself as you've seen the Eldritch Truth and become a god.

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I thought the game was pretty ok, maybe above average. If you haven’t played the DLC, that’s where it convinced me it’s a masterpiece.

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Anyone who fucks that will get splinters on their dick.

Worth it.

>like a slightly better ds3
So you're saying it's the best Souls game out there currently?

>Worth it.

GLASS fiber splinters. Do you have any idea how easily those fuckers sting the nerves? Much easier than you'd think.

bretty gud summary

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shit. this user nailed it
nice work

>told Lawrence he's a fucking tool and not to go around drinking alien blood he found in the fucking sewer

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saved for prosperity

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Has anybody discovered Moon Presence’s reason for killing Mergo? Isn’t Mergo fucking up the world anyway? Moon Presence is a hero.

Bitch was crying too loud

Just watch a Vaati video and play the game Retard.

i hate that faggot tho

FINALLY someone explaind plot to me without any holes or "mud its too deep for gijin to understand". Thank you.

actually accurate, well done user

I just don't understand why anyone thought that injecting some weird liquid found in ancient ruins into people was a good idea at all.

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i mean, it worked didn't it?

It heals cancer and STD's... at first.

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>sick elderly people in wheelchaurs everywhere

Not very well apparently.

>chairlet mad cause he can't roll around with his minigun

It sounds like you're speaking from experience

This leaves out some things like the fishing hamlet and Kos, as well as the choir and other institutes but overall good job

>t. Gehrman

>The Pthumerians fucked off
Most of the poor fucks were just turned into alien slaves, they're all the bleach white humanoids of varying sizes down in the Tombs of the Gods. Some of the modern Yharnamites look like they were changed like that too, all those white church things.

I liked it a lot especially the DLC. Combat is simple but fun. If you are stuck you can always just grind and yeet all your blood points into strength and brute force your way through pretty much any enemy. Parrying system isn't even needed like in Sekiro...Maybe only on Orphan of Kos.

Lore, enemies, and environments are great. Loved Castle Cainhurst too really cool area that you can totally miss if you play through it once. I have high hopes Elden Ring builds off it.