DILDOPUNK2077

Based frog claiming cyberpunk plot is B-list 90s movie tier

> dildoes everywhere
>They are everywhere, all the time.

>There isn't ONE place in the game that I visited where there aren't two or three to pick up like that, because I actually don't know.

>It's been years since we had a game so full of bugs, constant, constantly, despite the patches and goodwill it is difficult to ignore.

> I see the metacritic score and I want to change jobs haha
>what a fucking scandal.

HOLY SHIT THIS GAME IS GONNA BOMB

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this is your brain on cyberpunk 2077

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>being baited by the devs
i would just put them in my games to trigger retards

who else get it early from best buy?

Imagine getting triggered by dildos. This is either high tier bait or OP is eating a bag of paint chips as we speak

I pirated it(gog rip) - but where is Crang?

DUDE DILDOS LMAO
Is this game saints row now?

I guarantee the dildo thing is an "anti-piracy" joke

It certainly won't bomb but it's never a good sign when they prevent reviews from coming out.

Being bad =/= bombing. Pre-orders alone it's going to be a huge success whether or not it's shit.

I'm convinced that some of the shit we're seeing is due to devs trying to sabotage the game after the crunch time, or whatever other conditions we were unaware of. I'm still going to pirate it though.

Once upon a time Zig Forums would have modded dildo(plural) into L4D.

>DUDE DILDOS LMAO
>Is this game saints row now?
Dildos in open world has been a thing since GTA:SA, where you can beat up people with a huge dong.

You're cringe.

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Told ya male V was canonically gay and addicted to big dicks.

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Dildos as an omnipresent collectible is the most reddit thing i could conceive of.

San Andreas was a slapstick comedy game.

> V can collect dildos and you constantly find hundreds of dildos through the game
is the same as
> Going into police station locker room and finding a dildo

Wowee.

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you DO realize this games target audience is trans people, right?

Damn we thought CP2077 was neon GTA
Turns out it was just regular Saints Row

And it's back firing on them, funnily enough.

holy cope

Where are onaholes and simple vibrators?

Why are sex toys so cringe?

Are they implying dildos are dystopian and/or futuristic? Or is this an inside joke? It's just seems inane.

Did they include dilators as well?

That was an easter egg though.

Pretty much the only way you can be pro-feminist and vaguely offensive at the same time so it gets basedes insanely pumped.

Imagine defending dildos when CDPR isn't even paying you. Go think about your life.

>here's your GOTY, bro

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you can thank this bitch for ruining the game

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Why did I preorder this.

>Target audience is .05% of the population.
Now why would anyone ever Shazampost knowing that
>*sluuuuurp*

gee i wonder why

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so why are there so many dildos in this game?
>inb4 its cyberpunk
no its not

Literally trannypunk 2077

That's what queers deserve, absolute garbage. Here you go freaks, have fun with these dildos. Have fun faggots. Here's your inclusiveness and representation, play with these fake penises cause we know that's all you care about. CDPR is based.

You could wear a gimp suit and beat people to death with a dildo in San Andreas. You literal homosexuals from Zig Forums really go out of your way to announced yourselves as newfag parasites not just to Zig Forums but to video games as a whole.

>been years since we had a game so full of bugs, constant, constantly, despite the patches and goodwill it is difficult to ignore.
What about Todd and his company?
Are dildos the hidden packages of this gane!?

Poggers dildos y'all le mature game xd

They denote the weakness of real dick in that building

How much of a literal faget do you have to be to see a dildo and immediately thing of shoving it up your arse? They're made for women, you clueless homosexual.

What was the fucking point of this? This shit is more cringe than the Saint’s Row 3 Zimos missions

>Game Informer associate editor Liana Ruppert reported yesterday that she suffered a grand mal seizure while playing a review copy of Cyberpunk 2077, due to the game’s use of various flashing visual effects.

HAHAH PEOPLE ARE GONNA DIE WHILE PLAYING THIS GAME

>The PC build of the game reviewers currently have access to doesn’t include any warnings about these effects, though such warnings are common across the industry.

HERE COMES THE LAWSUIT, BROS

>“During my time with Cyberpunk 2077, I suffered one major seizure and felt several moments where I was close to another one,” Ruppert wrote. She said that her seizure was caused by lights that flash when your character puts on a headset to experience a Braindance, a game mechanic that lets protagonist V experience and explore other characters’ memories.

WOW ONE OF THE GAME'S SELLING POINTS IS A SEIZURE-INDUCER WHAT A GREAT FUCKING IDEA CDPR SIMPLY BRILLIANT

>CD Projekt Red publicly acknowledged the issues in a tweet this afternoon, stating that it is working on adding a separate warning aside from the one that appears in the EULA.

HOLY FUCK THEY DIDN'T EVEN CATCH THIS SHIT AFTER DELAYING THE GAME ALL THESE TIMES SO JUST IMAGINE THE LEVEL OF INCOMPETENCE WITH THESE POLISH FAGGOTS

>Ruppert explained that the in-game headset used for Braindances “features a rapid onslaught of white and red blinking LEDs, much like the actual device neurologists use in real life to trigger a seizure when they need to trigger one for diagnosis purposes.”

HEY LET'S PUT LEGIT SEIZURE TRIGGERS IN THE GAME ON PURPOSE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS LOL

>Which effects could trigger seizures in people varies widely, but the version of the game currently available to reviewers doesn’t come with any warning at the beginning.

LAWYERS SALIVATING

>Ruppert said, “I’ve been sent hundreds of videos disguised as support that are deliberate flashing to induce photosensitive triggers."

CYBERJUNK FANBOIS ARE MANCHILDREN LOL

Wow bro, Cyberpunk 2077 is a mature, no holds-barred experience - it's edgy and takes no prisoners. And yes #trannylivesmatter, if you don't like it you're breaking the heckin' EULA.

Yikes, no wonder journalists like it!

Postal is le edgy videogame and it often hits with its jokes despite some of them falling flat. This is just sad.

can you use them though?

Dildos as collectables is so fucking unfunny and cringeworthy that I can't help but think it must have been a woman's idea. Female comedy is obsessed with tonedeaf SO QUIRKY AND DEGENERATE VAGINA VAGINA PERIOD PERIOD DILDO DILDO.

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They're health pack, when you're running low on energy, you shove one up your ass and get some restored.

True reviews are coming out soon, my sources say this game is a fucking disaster