The bonfire is lit. Grab a seat. Talk about what's on your mind

The bonfire is lit. Grab a seat. Talk about what's on your mind.

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I'm lonely and running out of money because Covid hours are slim and my lifts are plateauing and the ache in my knee is getting worse.

>asked a girl out for coffee two weeks ago
>still not went on that date
>wondering if we are ver going to
>Also, will my loose skin ever revert back, at least partially

29 and realise I am probably in the wrong career path for me (education) but the only other thing I enjoy is the idea or making music for video games (I play piano at a decent level and have composed basic stuff before so its not just fairytale fantasy shit) but... I just feel like I won't be able to make it.

Parents getting older and their health is declining too but they put a brave face on, but I know they're struggling.

I'm a wizard, naturally I'm also a manchild.
My whole life the majority of personal and professional relationships I've had were initiated by someone else, I never made the first move with a girl or had to submit a resume for the few jobs I've had.
I don't know how to drive and I'm afraid to learn. There's a lot of shit I haven't done.
Currently I'm pretty much a neet. Am working on studying for the Comptia A+ so maybe I can get an IT gig, maybe this will go nowhere. I am enjoying this though, it's something to do, the material is interesting to me and so far much of it is just review with new details.
I'm starting therapy tomorrow which I'm definitely looking forward to. Hoping that by taking a solid inventory of things and addressing my issues, perhaps I'll fare better and make some worthwhile changes.

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I pity you fleshy walkers. So mistakes are absolute. Although I'd look into it. Maybe they have a cream you can apply.

I'm making gains on the outside, but not on the inside.

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Making decent fucking gains. Still not sure, but it feels like my gains have really picked up since I started eating more carbs. Hoping I wont get fat. Time will tell.
My lower back sort of hurts. It might be my squat form. Not sure.

My life is still a fucking mess. I dont know what I want to do with it. Im working a job that sort of feels like a dead end. I could keep studying and change the course, but holy fuck I cant manage to give a shit about school.
Im miserable as fuck. Depressed and suicidal. Its been a lot of time since my life has been going downhill. Now it feels like Im in a position of do or die. The problem is that I dont know what the fuck it is that I want to do. The problem is that I kinda want to die. Really.

I still want to be a writer. Its the one dream I ever had. Its been with me for more than ten years. I still want it.

Write, just keep writing. It's the only way. Even if you never make it, you can say you tried.

I'm 30 man, and I'm finally starting a real career, having switched from what I did originally.
Never too late.
Part of the switch was for my parents- mine are getting older too, and I want to take care of them, not just "survive" on my own. Its time to put on the big boy pants, and provide for my parents as they used to for me.
You are; you just don't know it. Inside gains have no measure. Its tricky. Mostly because you're the one evaluating yourself. It's like asking a eye to see itself without a mirror.
Keep on keepin' on.