Anyone else have a desire to be an artist / renaissance man but too lazy to actually try anything? I wish I was an

anyone else have a desire to be an artist / renaissance man but too lazy to actually try anything? I wish I was an
>artist
>writer
>filmmaker
>musician

but I am too lazy to try any of them, also I have no skill

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>making art for status and reputation
>not making art for its own sake
ngmi

Chronic fear of failure keeps me from even trying to create things even though I've always been an excellent drawer at least from an academic standpoint.

I do youtube for a living. I unironically believe I would be a famous musician if I Learned an isntrument. Im 25 now so I think its too late to learn, then get on the music selling circuit before I get ugly and washed out. But I aim to make it a hobby in the future

I dont have the drive to do the hard work. IM considering becoming addicted to stims and living fast, dying young and gettiung famous in the process. similar to pete doherty

Yeah becoming a writer is my only remaining hope in life, can't join the society as normalfag at this point.

Not sure if I'm talented enough but I have had some encouragement - wrote for uni magazine and cultural website, but then I locked myself away in my childhood room for years and did nothing.

What the fuck am I supposed to write about though? Great novels are usually based on real life experience, or real life observations at least. What do I know about anything, as a mentally stunted recluse?

Also wanted to become a musician when younger, still have a small indie studio at home with guitars and synths but I'm simply not talented at that, at all.

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Go outside. Leave the internet for some time. Actually take a paper and pencil and draw literally anything you see. Draw. Every. Single. Day.

>too lazy to actually try anything
That just means its not something you actually want to do. If it was, you would do it. Its just something you like fantasizing about.

>61033444
BTW I should add I Aim to become a young adult novelist in the future if music doesnt pay off. I love novels.

My life is absolutely fucked in an impulsive strange way. I have lost 10k+ on roulette on single spins, I Have become an established youtuber, alcoholic, drug addict, ive hung around with homeless people for fun in the past to see what they do (Turns out they jus t walk around all day scavenging cigarette butts from bins to make a DIY ROllup and begpeople for money to buy synthetic weed and beer). I hope to make a book about some fucked up youth that anti-hero that will be ironically funny butalso has a moral to the story

My protip is: if you fuck up in something you might as well go all in so you can get a book deal or write about your experience and monetise it. (try not to do anything illegal)

how much of that is just depression though? since I don't "want" to do anything but sleep or die. I think that obscures actual desires

>if you fuck up in something you might as well go all in so you can get a book deal or write about your experience and monetise
This is a good advice. Drank so much booze in isolation that I developed heavy withdrawals, maybe a subconscious attempt to gain some of that "tortured artist" experience. Obviously drinking yourself to death in your childhood room is not novel worthy but I understand that thrill seeking behavior you talk about, if only I were confident enough to go outside like you do...

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i ve always wanted to be a writer. wish i had the aptitude

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Never too late friend, plenty of great writers only started off in their late thirties.

Post your Youtube shit

Too bad it's not the 1860s or maybe readers would care for that sophomoric self-pitying bullshit.

>sophomoric self-pitying bullshit
>implying we do anything else on Zig Forums

Fuck me for letting myself become a 25 year old neet

i wish i could even try, i'm as uncreative as it gets, i can't write or come up with anything to do in general. I'm having a hard time even coming up with posts

failed life before it even started

I often feel guilty because of this but...

...this is the real question. It's hard to figure out what you actually want when your brain never "wants" anything other than going to sleep. Going by this metric I have never "wanted" anything in life other than peace and quiet. I just wanna wear shorts every day and not be bothered but there must be something else right?

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can I blame being raised by a computer for any of this?

I play in a band but circumstance has denied us a chance to even get off the ground. I can see why so many people give up on music.
Started writing recently, but all I can write are depressing short horror stories nobody would want to read.