Are markup languages actual programming languages?

Some degree of programming can in fact be done with HTML, but most of it is scripting.

Are lainniggers actual human beings?
I think not.

coldfusion. *shudders*

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The escape sequences in forum text markup should be easy to easy to remember, capable but uncomplicated, extensible, and most importantly, difficult to use accidentally.
This makes SGML/XML (probably with the familiar HTML tags) best for forum and BBS usage. But for a text database, it's more important to use less characters and reduce overhead, readability doesn't really matter. For those, if a comma-separated file isn't enough, then something terrible for human usage like Markdown should be used.

...

That's one ugly ear, to be honest.

A lot of people would say that a programming language must be Turing complete by definition, since "it can run on a Turing machine" is the most common definition for what an algorithm is, and the purpose of programming languages are to encode algorithms.

Why would you consider it a negative?

Because there are programs which should not be valid. For example.for(;;);Turing complete languages allow you to program an incorrect program like above which will never terminate.

Have you ever seen a lainfag in real life?
I thought not.