CV

No, and the more they automate the jobs away, the quicker your CV land in the trash. Have fun fighting for the scraps with other poors while guys like Bezos buy their own islands. If you wanna distract yourself from that just choose some camp (sjw, alt. right etc.) and have inconsequential online vendettas with other poors while the rich keep evading paying taxes.

You're hired

never listen to a HR fag. I've never met one that even had decent social skills let alone had any idea about how someone could get a job.

I don't lie on my CV on the principle that my boss would rely on me to use my skills in something I lie about. If I say that I lied about it, I'll probably be out of the job the very same day. If by some miracle that I'm not fired, I'll be branded for the rest of my employment life as untrustworthy and a deceiver.

This. Why do you want to become a good goy just so they throw an extra bone at you along with the scraps?
Bullets and binary bomb components are cheap. Get a bycicle and go rig some cars of the elites with explosives. Pop their skull when they're stuck in traffic. If you're too much of a pussy for that go sabotage some HV transmission lines. All you need is a rock, a nylon string and a few meters of thick steel wire.
Don't stop until copyright is less than 20 years, (((telemetry))) and face recognition is illegal and every man is required to carry a firearm at all times.

You can't. When you write a CV you are taking a blind shock in the dark. In order to get a job you have to get past the HR department, and unless you have been snooping around in the company to find out what pattern they are looking for, it's a gamble. You might get rejected simply because the other guy had a more handsome face.

The way I did it was I wrote my CV as I would like to present myself. I could have written it as if I was a turbofaggot, but then I would have ended up in a company that only hires turbofaggots. If your CV looks like an off-the-shelf template, then you will be hired for an off-the-shelf job. I made my CV look slick, but still orderly and well-defined because that's how I wanted to present myself. It's just like picking your outfit to wear.

Sure, as long as you don't get caught. But keep in mind that if you get caught they will be through with you. Even if it is something irrelevant to the job, like saying you have the black belt in karate, if one of the interviewers knows about karate and you make an ass of yourself, you're done for. That's not say they will quiz you about random karate trivia, but they will try to include it in a casual conversation.

First page is the application itself, I structure it as if it was a printed letter, even when I send in a PDF. Make sure to get all the details right: correct address of the company, correct name of the contact person or the correct department.

Then the CV itself follows. I order it by education, work experience, technical expertise, programming language, spoken languages, other engagements (social, hobbies, that stuff). The hard part is that you need to keep it concise and tabular. There are topics I could talk about for hours. Some of my open source projects are really interesting and would put me miles ahead than your usual college student or Pajeet, but you cannot talk about those in your CV. At best you can pick one particularly interesting one and spend a few words on it in your application.

The rest is various certifications. Limit yourself to the important ones, no one cares that went to some Java course ten years ago or that you got first place in the local table tennis tournament ten years ago. When I graduated college I only included my college graduation papers, but not the highschool papers because no one gives a shit about those anymore when you graduate college. If you add too many certificates you come across as a desperate Pajeet who is try to overcompensate for his deficiencies with worthless papers.

See above, only if you want to work in a company that chases the latest buzzwords. Act like a soy-slurping hipster faggot, and you will find yourself among soy-slurping hipster faggots. But don't go into the other extreme, if the people are using Scrum don't start an autistic shitfit about how Scrum is overrated garbage, just nod and go along with it.

I asked someone to design my CV in InDesign, so there's your tech AIDS. It sucks, but it was the least painful way of getting something that looked decent. Word processors cannot do complex layout, LaTeX is going to make you want to kill yourself if you want to deviate from the standard layout, if you know TeX well enough to do good layout then you don't need a CV, and Scribus is an unresponsive piece of shit that hasn't heard of live preview.

What really sucked was that every time I wanted to write a new application I had to go to that person, then they would manually copy-paste my changes and export a PDF. If it was written in a markup language I could have just generated it with one command.

Maybe Sile could do complex layout in a reasonable way, I haven't tried that one yet.
sile-typesetter.org/

What's a CV?

Curriculum Vitae

LaTeX + modernCV.

Why can't I talk about open source projects in my cv?

Not just Open Source, any of them. There just isn't room to go into depth, unless you can pick one and say all you want to say in one sentence. You can list them of course, but that's about it. And even then you have to limit yourself to the most important ones, if you list your twenty Vim plugins you will come across as desperate.

They have to weed out all the "professional fizzbuzz developers" and "professional packettracer administrators" somehow, you know.

Except they don't. Pajeets go to interview training courses designed to memorize interview questions. It's a total charade.

Well, let's start with the fact that nobody has time to read your 10 page CV, you need a 1 page (one sided) resume. The resume is an advertisement for you so that companies become intrigued and want to interview. Don't overexplain things or try to be comprehensive. Think of ads on TV - do they explain the product in detail? No, that's called an infomercial and nobody watches those. The ad is not to make you buy the product, but to google it, look at it in the store and convince yourself to buy it.

Second, try to get out of the mindset of making one form resume and spamming that. First of all everybody hates spam so they'll auto-trash it. Second the hiring manager is not really looking for just good dudes who deserve a job so he can find something for them to do. They have already decided what exact positions need to be filled, what are the min and max qualifications and skill they need. If you have millions of amazing talents, except for the one thing that will actually be your job, you are worthless for that role. Imagine you went to a mechanic to fix your car, and he says he is the best airplane and boat mechanic but never worked on cars. Who cares? Good for him but you have no reason to pay him. So you must tailor your resume to the job. It must highlight the actual skills that are relevant to the job, and not much else. Taking tangentially related skills/experience and spinning to sound very relevant is a skill learned with practice, I don't have time to go into it now. But ask yourself: Do you want the job? Do you think you could do well at it? Why? Then basically translate those reasons into the resume.

Ideally you would read the job description and craft your resume almost as a point by point response to every requirement they provide. What helps even more is to get in touch with people in the company and ask them what skills will be used, what their company looks for (if you like working with people don't apply to companies that say they like independent, self-sufficient workers, if you're an autist don't go for ones that say collaboration and communication). This will have a side benefit of making you stand out to the hirer as a personable and interested applicant, but remember the point is not to schmooze them, but to determine what the job actually is so you can make a case that you can do it.

You should also get in touch with recruiters to learn specific details like what formatting, style, layout is preferred in your field. The recruiter might even decide to try and recruit you if your skills fit. But again the primary goal is to find out best practices for people like you. You can even cold message recruiters on LinkedIn and some will respond for free if your question was reasonably polite and concise (they don't have time to read your wall of text or answer with a wall of text). If you want to be nice you can offer to buy them lunch/coffee/beer in exchange for chatting about the job market. But generally stay away from gimmicky designs. Black on white Helvetica or Computer Modern font, basic bitch layout and standard sections will already give you a leg up on all the MLP resumes. The fact is that the hiring manager gets hundreds of resumes, and doesn't have infinite time. The resumes need to fit a format that makes it easy for them to instantly skim and determine that (hopefully) you are worth considering for interview. They spend maybe 10-15 seconds "reading" your resume for this purpose. You have to spell it out for them. If it follows a convoluted, snowflake layout and makes the guy think, he will just put it in his "read when you have free time" pile, and forget about it because he is paid to hire people fast and not to have free time.

I'd love to give more detailed suggestions but I don't have time right now and this isn't really the best medium for it. I had an idea for a while for a professional network for autistic neets like us. At first it would be simple things like feedback on resumes, sharing job ads, project idea discussion. Later as people get jobs thanks to this it could turn into job referrals for junior members, technical skill workshops, professional development events. Eventually we could create our own communities inside specific decent companies. I've been too busy to do much yet but I'm anticipating that I'll start working on it regularly in late fall. If you're interested drop an email, and 1-2 sentences about your skills, near term career situation, approximate location, expectations from the network etc.

I've never written a CV in my life. A resume is just fine.

That already exists, it's called imageboards, IRC, and other various types of forums. If you try to make a site/app for this networking then it will follow the fate of all social groups. It will be infiltrated by non-inducted anons who are only there to explout the current structure for their own ulterior motives. Within a year from it's creation, it will be inundated with normalcattle and essentially decay from the inside out, while simultaniously forcing out the original members in search of non-nigger/normafied platforms.

of course. then they are surprised why cheating is rampant at top schools in the US, especially with indians and asians.

sounds fucking stupid, but lets say i make a program and i want to show it off to my employer, how the fug do i do it?

Use (((github))).

So if i have a huge amount of commits is that good enough?

Well, if those are not entirely your projects, then you better have an actual non-anonymous account there.
Like, the way I see it, you better have something your employer-to-be would be interested in and you better be able to answer any questions he might ask about the code.
And even then, having your own code just means you're not some shitstain motherfucker who doesn't even code and just applied for a job because whatever.

Yeah ideally i'll be presenting a program that is all made by me, the only thing I'm worried about is the employer is unable to realize how much effort I put into it and is overwhelmed by how much information is being given to him.

I think people in general won't care about your code, and, for fuck's sake, chances are you won't be talking to any people who do actual work over there, so it's whatever. I think you just mention it and answer the questions if they're interested.

based and also red pilled

Something that worked for me: Print screenshots and send it via mail.
It shoves what you did straight into their face, without the typical read the first line and into the trash it goes.

Try to explain it in terms that a technically minded person who is not necessarily versed in your domain can understand. Use examples of how people are using your program, of if you are the only user, then how it has helped you.

I was in a similar spot, I had a small business running and when I explained it to the interviewers they were more interested in my thought process around the program and the story behind it, not the actual code of the program itself.

How do you misunderstand a simple post so much... I'm talking about an actual organization of people, not just a meme software.

That's my point faggot. Have you not seen "the life cycle of clubs/hobbies"? if you create something where peoplecan come and have a reputation then soon enough women and trannies are going to show up and demand you let them in, and the intsant you do so your little "organization" dies and begins to decay.

lol ok Dr. Blackpill

You wouldn't lie at this level though.
Exagerating from 1 year of experience to 2-3 is OK, your point is null because nobody with a sane mind would lie an entire degree, also it is easily verifiable as you said.
You can lie with amount of experience or add that you know one or two languages which you really only superficially know.

I agree with this, which is why it's important to not bring in anyone who does not understand this point. I'm not speaking here about a club or hobby that anyone can join or come and go as they please. I'm thinking of like-minded people operating on mutual trust and a common struggle.

If I wanted to deal with women, trannies or normalfags, I could go to any number of groups that already exist. I would rather be in the society of intelligent people, which is why I come to this board in the first place. I don't think I'm the only one, and I want to network with other people who think the same way.

What you put on your resume isn't treated as proof of anything anyway. If it is relevant to the position, you can expect to be questioned extensively about it by people familiar with the thing you're lying about. It will not be easy to dupe them unless you really do your homework. Generally, experiences or skills that have some objective evidence, such as github repos, projects, connections on social media and so on, are given much more credence.

If you really wanted to do such a group you would need access control, also
proof that people that are there know what they're doing, maybe a challenge.

Your biggest problem will be identity politics getting in the way of everything,
with sjw types posting about their bs ideology or how it's hard for them for x, y
and z or even slipping stupid crap in their code.
Many will try infiltrate structures of management even attempting soft coups through becoming moderators or create artificial consensus
by using other sites like Twitter to bring political pressure on you as the owner.
You could try fight club rules and preside with an iron fist, kicking the shit off the platform immediately and preventing unknowns from coming around and snooping your shit.

It may also be prudent to ensure you've got exact knowledge and affiliation of
your management structure with what you want from the people running the organization.

Autismo maximus is who you want on your side and avoid any neo-liberalists
like the plague. They will co-opt you in the blink of an eye.

lol, look at this non-neet, earning money and stuff