Mainly working part time due to some health problems, both of which are making it hard for me to move out.
I'm not in college, and I moved a little while ago so it's been really hard for me to meet people, and I've been very antisocial my whole life. It also doesnt help that most of the people I still know are either stoners or normalfags, not people I can rely on or like being around.
I used to play a lot of mtg and dnd, but both of those are being driven into the ground by kikes and I'm unsure I'd find a group not filled with degenerates, especially since I live in a city.
I know I'm still young, but I'm very apathetic and nihilistic, and even my newfound urges to have children and live a better life aren't enough motivation a lot of the time.
Destruction of Whiteness/Reviving White Identity
You fix it by realizing a purpose. From your purpose will spring the will to do what is necessary. It's great that you're asking this question at 19, because you've got a lot of runway to work with. A lot of people don't discover a purpose that could really drive them till it's too late, and it's not because purpose is particularly elusive, but rather because society is set up to obscure what really brings fulfillment to life.
For most people, starting a family gives them the will to achieve greater heights. Knowing that you're valuable to someone to the point that they rely on you possibly even for their very existence (children) can give a guy a hell of a push. It's also just wonderful to see ahead into your old age and not picture an empty, lonely husk with no legacy.
You ever hear the saying "opposites attract"? It's nonsense. Like attracts like. Be the kind of person you'd like to attract, and because those people are already great, they'll be able to spot the quality in you. This is another good way to motivate oneself to improve. Everything you do in life comes back to you in some way. I'm not talking about some mystical karma thing, it's actually logical. The fact that you're not who you want to be and you're around people you want to be around is not a coincidence.
Purpose is your way out of the pit. Willpower can only bridge short gaps, so don't use it aimlessly. Figure out want you want, and direct yourself towards a means to achieving it, and then apply effort.
care to tell me about them, or are the personal? anyway, be careful they won't become an excuse to hide behind when you try to do things.
as for friends, i dont have any redpilled friends either, only on the feminism=cancer stuff. the way i deal with that is just not talk about politics too much, only through bants. they know how i feel, they know how i feel, and we bant about the stuff both parties find ridicilous, if it even comes up at all. hobby friends are great since you dont really have to mention that to have a good relationship, though.
also, really, go out more. emulate the person you wished you were, and eventually you will become that person. it will be hard, yes, but it should, as it's basically a life goal.
Typo.
I was like this at 16. I think it's actually a phase that can take some time (and intelligence) to get through. Pretty sure most folks here are going through, or went through nihilism. The truth about nihilism, though, is it leaves you with 2 options: 1. Quit 2. Try harder.
Life's rewards come from effort, although many people have their ambition sapped by how easy it is to achieve tiny rewards in today's world, which I think really skews one's perception of a what a reward is. You need to realize that reward scales with achievement. Really hammer this into your brain. I know you can understand it intellectually, but it needs to be a part of you, this understanding. You should reflexively consider the size of the reward when looking at the size of a challenge. Do this with all important facts of life. When you see a piece of truth, don't just immediately start your search for the next piece like you're eating potato chips. Meditate on it. Know it so well you can't forget it. This will build your defenses against apathy.
I'd also like to add that family serves a purpose too. You don't just have a family to drive yourself, and you don't take care of your children just to keep them alive. Building a quality family is a contribution to the larger family that is your people. The peoples of the world are in desperate competition with each other. We experience the battle in slow motion most of the time, but time is a consequence of our limited perspective. The battle is happening, and our people need well trained reinforcements.
nobody on this board is actually white
That makes a lot of sense. There have been very few people I have ever "connected" with, so I have almost always put on a facade. I would listen to rap and pretend to like sports, or tell jokes and act stupidly just to fit with various crowds, and I'm sure that's had a very negative effect on actually meeting people I like.
I'm still unsure of what I want. The best idea I've had would be to learn a skilled trade, but I feel very lost when it comes to thinking about a career.
I don't honestly know whats wrong, I'm pretty sure it's Lupus since i have nearly every symptom of it, but I only started to seek treatment very recently. I sink into self pity often since I feel so awful all the time, but I do recognize that that's an awful thought process and I don't want to use it as an excuse, it makes me feel ashamed.
I would be fine with any friends that aren't idiots or degenerates, i dont need people exactly like me, though that would be great of course. Do you have any other advice on meeting friends, you mentioned dnd, and I was thinking I'd join a gun range and learn how to shoot.
Yeah, that's just a great way to attract bad people, and repel good people. You shouldn't want people to like you. You should want good people to like you.
That's a tough one. Don't pursue just what you think you'd like. Remember, a man will achieve at a higher level if he's serving a greater purpose. Think about what is valuable to (your) people, and if you can provide that value. That is likely what will bring you the greatest fulfillment.
Could you maybe give some examples or ideas for careers or even jobs? I wanted to do computer science for a while, but found I didn't like it and the industry is infested with blue haired xirs anyways.
Since then I've looked at trades, ones like hvac, carpentry, an electrician, or a tool and die maker. I feel like these (or others) would be something fulfilling, as well as being more beneficial to both me and other whites than say, working a desk job. I also believe that you make enough money to comfortably have a family, and I would think that my coworkers would be the kind of people I get along with.
I am still unsure though, I have rarely shunned hard work, but I'm not sure if I've ever found something that I want to devote my life to.