I'm making a cartoon series for my fam on Zig ForumsrdwztH

Congratulations on making the right choice.

Congrats, looks like complete degenarate garbage.

looks like shit. would be better if it looked worse, ie south park or murdock murdock

Relax op. People here don't enjoy any creativity, i hope you're protected well enough, but remember this, your project must aim for normalfags anyway, because there's no point to make redpill for already redpilled communities.

I like it user, I really do. Do you have a Patreon page?

Okay, as soon as i heard about scratching buttholes i refused to listen the later, try to make your project less degenerate.

5 months.

way relaxed. i was expecting more or less this from here. 8ch is much dopier than I remember. used to be a lot of bright people.

Things have changed, as one should assume happens to all things. Part of why you should always keep everything you know close to you, so you don't forget.

Hilarious. Are you sure you're not jewish, OP?

yeah, most of the creative people were banned and bullied by larpers and mentally ill retards

they banned GEX (creator of 10million red pill video exposing european genocide)

Fuck that's a lot of time. Did you work daily or what?

10million VIEWS

The art is fine, some characters are well drawn but there must be consistence.

I was done at that title. The whole fixation with shit is a weird kike thing.

The animation has potential but the story and voice acting is garbage.

You can take inspiration from Murdock Murdock, but the past Murdock Diaries.

Be sure to upload it on Bitchute too.

i dont like the itching butthole thing. that scatological humor is jewish at the root. there are other ways to be funny or weird.

undo the jew humor within you my dude

My tip for you OP would be that while I think subtlety especially in a political cartoon is a necessity, too much subtlety can render parts of it incoherent.

ok there are a lot of cool things about this. the animation, music and art style are cool. some of the humor is good. i like how the woman didnt catch the scroll and it was funny that it was even thrown to her. the womp womp commie scene with the soybillies on the couch was good.

keep going with it. the key is really a solid script i think.

9:45 this sends mixed signals. "the house your father built" should not be directed at a mud. it should have been a White girl he said this to.

dont want to be confused for a civnat

the twin tower and slythraeli thing was great.

the climax doesn't make sense to me.

you are equating the black box symbolism of saturn worship with the Christianity (the cross) and saying that defeats the jews.

jews are saturn worshippers, and Christianity is not saturn worship so there are 2 disconnects there

Looks good honestly reminds me of Xavier Renegade Angel, you could try to add more expression on the faces I'm not saying full face animation but maybe more still models with more expressions

Bathroom humor is always bad when not used intelligently

Try to give the main characters more personality

Reach out to Murdoch Murdoch if you can to gain some attention

Don't be afraid of your own body. Some people get paid good money to be proctologists. It's a dirty job and I salute them.
Sphinx comes from the same root word as sphincter. Guarding and regulating entrances and exits. Guarding what? From whom? I put that stuff right up front to say 'look, don't take all this too seriously'. Apparently it had an opposite effect, but only on Zig Forums strangely. These are people who take the sanctity of the anus VERY seriously. Is this what it means to be buttmad?

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It just means ancestors. It's a line from the Oddessey.

"Saturn worship". Oh brother.

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Yes the characters are pretty stiff I should at least give them some eyebrow action, good call. Not sure what contacting MM could/would do for me, but I like them and I'll probably end up sending it to them if I come across their contact info.

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Not sure if sarcastic. I spent a solid 2 minutes straight up preaching some of the ideas to the audience.

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Well, you would know after all, right nigger?

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Yes most days, all day. It will get quicker over time because I can reuse assets I already made. I took a about 2 weeks total off during that 5 mos. It doesn't feel good to take too much time off because you lose momentum and knocking out clips gives you a buzz when no other dopamine sources are permitted.

Seriously, what happened to this place? It's like a >100 IQ Brazilian gorilla reserve around here. Is this where Venezuela goes to shitpost when they are too embarrassed to reveal their flags on 4chan?

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I meant

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You make a good point. Not trying has a certain charm, but trying at all means falling short of your ideal. I'm circling in on finding a balance.

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bump for the initiative

Fuck off Moishe.

Too on the nose and preachy, very slow, with interjections of potty humor that wasn't funny.
I love He-Man but you ripped it off too much to the point of feeling I was just watching a parody made by some hipster with a political agenda. Which is exactly what it was.

Dont make anymore dark glasses hipster bitches either I can't fucking look at them anymore.

Here, read a book and don't draw or create until you have a script that is solid or you're just wasting time on your computer.

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OP, this is utterly hilarious. And weird AF.
Very Adult Swim.
I like the concept, I seems to overt to me as an adult, but as a kid I wouldn't have gotten it, even as I was taught that the liberal world was a lie.

That defeats the purpose.

Better than Murdoch Murdoch TBH.

Good for you. I wish I were able to do something like this. Right now I just stockpile memory holed information hoping someone will be asking for material for a project.

Are you the user writing the book?
Cuz that thing looks pretty rad.

OP, I change my opinion, there are a couple places where it is a bit too on the nose. Be subtle, use dogewhistles, not nosetrumpets.

I am not but it does look nice.

Good effort OP. I never really grew up with the whole He-Man thing so the aesthetic isn't my cup of tea but it looks like you put some work into it and I don't think your intended audience are those already in the know.

The first episode wasn't a great intro to the world in my opinion. I didn't really know what kind of show it was going to be until the second episode so that might turn some people off from perusing further (episode two was better). Look forward to the next (?) episode, it's good to have some variety in the scene.

Very surreal and adult swim-esque. It has potential, and I'm glad there are redpilled content creators out there. Personally, I a like a more structured narrative, but surreal seems to be trend in adult cartoons.

If I may make a few constructive criticisms: first, as others have said, flesh out characters better. Better animation would be nice, but go for personally over fluid animation. It doesn't matter how fluid and shiny your characters are if they are boring. Look at Murdoch Murdoch, their characters have more personality than most high budget cartoon network shows, just by using still images and a shitty mouth animation. Also, as a other have mentioned the characters are a little stiff. A easy fix is to have different facial expressions for your characters. These don't even have to be animated, but we should be able to tell what they are feeling just by looking.

More interesting editing would be plus, too. To make it look more animated without actually animating anything, you can use camera pans, slow zooms, and quick cuts to faces and reactions. For the expository dialog, I get that animation takes time, but just watching the two guys spout expository dialog on the couch gets a little old. This is a good spot to insert a few gags, or simply just show pictures of actual SJWs, trannys, and hateful feminists like you did before with the men building civilization.

Since normalfags are your ultimate goal don't be afraid to use dirty words that have been "banned" from regular shows. Don't be afraid to say “nigger” or “faggot” or other SJW trigger words. It doesn't even have to be in a hateful context, it could just be how they talk to each other. Your vids will be shoah'd from Youtube anyway once your start getting a lot views, and having an edge will attract many younger people since they cannot get content like this anywhere else. Even South Park has almost completely kowtowed to the PC police in this regard. The fact that they are watching something that has been deemed “forbidden” will only make them want to watch it more. You have already committed a far greater sin than simply saying a dirty word or showing a swastika, you have publicly challenged the narrative.

If you can, try and contact the faggots from Murdoch Murdoch they're probably in this thread to see how they've dealt with making content on hostile platforms and to share tips for producing low budget animation. They are the innovators of Zig Forumsesque web cartoons.

Keep up the good work, user.

I read all your college freshman story writing booklets and then some, but thanks. I don't know what a 'dark glasses hipster bitch' is.
>>don't draw or create until …
No thanks. I'll leave that up to people who don't draw or create. There are about 200 skills you need to get a handle on in order to do this single- handedly and you can't actually learn any of them unless you go through the whole process from start to finish repeatedly, fuck up and self correct. That's why I'm asking for criticism…so I DON'T have to waste time studying things I may not even need for future hypothetical projects. Experience is the best teacher.
Yes it's an affectionate parody of He Man. I'm ok with that for now.

I dunno. I give them credit for their consistent output, coherent world and ability to wring out emotions while working with very little. Also I give them credit for having balls to go that far out. Call it larpy or whatever but it takes courage to just say fuck it I'm making Nazi cartoons.

I shouldn't have added the black sun symbol. It adds nothing but maybe a chuckle for some dudes on Zig Forums, but overall I did enough dog whistling so that it wasn't even needed.

checked
I'm curious about this. I hear this from younger people that they think it looks weird. To me it just looks like a normal cartoon, but I'm from the 80's. Is it because they don't really have cartoons with realistically proportioned characters anymore? What exactly is weird about the aesthetic to you? Glad you like it. I'm considering adding a short repeating intro to each episode to sort of orient the viewer to the title, what world they're going into and what characters live there.

Excellent advice thanks for making the effort!
Expressions:
haha yeah MM's characters at least have moving eyebrows which is something I dont even bother with much, but will now, so thanks.

Editing:
Point taken. Yeah I'm aware that I let the camera linger too long some times. At the same time I feel weird about moving it around arbitrarily just to busy things up. Sometimes a person just has to talk but I can at least do 2 or 3 angles if it's going to be a long one. Thx.

Not sure if I'm going for normies. Murdoch Murdoch clearly has a built in audience in mind (Zig Forums) and they just write to excite them so they don't have to face the 'who is this for' question. I won't be saying nigger, kike or faggot in my cartoons, sorry. Jared Taylor managed to WIN A COURT CASE against Twitter because they couldn't find anything hateful in his twitter feed. I'd like to be in the same position. Bulletproof. That doesn't mean I couldn't depict a violent monkey race of subhumans that use ebonics that are obvious stand ins for niggers and all the problems they cause. I don't know if the cost is worth the benefit to use that language tho. It's hard enough getting eyeballs on the show without being cast off to cheekyvids.com

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You can do better.

advertise somewhere else faggot

HIDE SAGE REPORT

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It's not a product or service. I'm literally sharing a politics related video and asking for thoughts on it. How's the weather in Guatemala?

I like it. Reminds of trippy 80s cartoons. Also screw pandering to normalfags.

...

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The production is very impressive but the reason why I would watch Murdoch Murdoch rather than you is because it's a lot less random (retarded) and far more DOTR. Like, Murdoch Murdoch just gives you the sense they rather gas the kikes, race war now. Your show can be clever but isn't a consistent DOTR type throughout and hangs on retarded moments. I think you can do better by just going full Blitzkrieg on the writing department, less random and retarded. What's with things like diapers, shit, and toilets? I watch coherent things, you could have made Pajeet jokes or something.

I like that it irritates people.

I'm actually not into the race war idea and don't think it's a good thing to encourage. War is a horrible, horrible thing. I'm more into ending welfare completely, massive deportations of all illegals, brutal crackdowns on gang crime and mandatory prison for communists.

If you don't understand that Mkee is a fucking god and your writing is that shitty, you're lost. Get a writer. Don't ever assume you're a writer. It's like assuming you're a metallurgist just because you can sculpt pottery.

This is the real problem with you post modern artists, you all assume you're writers. In the old days there was some fucking respect and division.

You're fucking stupid or playing dumb. Get a writer

That's what criticism is you fucking moron! That's what you do with it. You study. Read the fucking book I gave you. It's the best ever ever ever ever written on story telling.
Yeah if you're digging holes. Idiot. Experience in heart surgery with no experience? Not as good as someone who read some fucking books!
Yeah, hipster art//.

SOULEEEEESSSSSSS

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You hate people who make things because you can't get yourself to make things.

You need them to stop and have the same hang ups as you so you feel better about yourself.

It's really that simple. You're also insane. You didn't give me a book. I told you I read lots of books about writing. I even read the one you suggested. It's on my shelf.

leave moishie

Well thank you to everyone who had something helpful to say. I truly appreciate it. I don't know how the brighter among you can lurk here, this place is a sub-saharan hellscape if adolescent idiocy and goofy internet hyper-aggression.

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so undeclared Totally Not Race War using the power of the state

It's summer on a sunday night, what do you expect

I watched both episodes. The 'womp-womps' were a good gag, and the Slytherisraelis were a good maneuver, but you spent too much time with the guys on the couch. Beyond that,
as your story is, as you put it, 'an affectionate parody of he-man', but with a different political core, you have little room to expand beyond the original. Your setting isn't fixed and your main characters are effectively gods, so you'll run into the problems that soycreations like Doctor Who and Buffy fall into where the setting is effectively infinite so there's no way to create meaningful problems, and the characters will have too much power so
One of the goals of Zig Forums is to get people away from the idea of salvation on high and awaken in as many people as possible the hyperborean hero that exists within us all so that we may take back our future. Hence the opposition to capeshit with its underlying message of 'you're too small and weak to help anything, let the (((anointed))) handle it'

If your story has a parasitic base, there isn't much room to grow beyond the shadow of the thing you're copying especially if you're not brave enough to expand its boundaries, but as said earlier, if you expand the boundaries too far all you have is a cosmic tour of demigods and that's what I've seen thus far.
Also add a few more intermediate frames for mouth movements, one or two will work.

It doesn't irritate people, it makes them not want to watch it. Shit jokes are shit jokes.

You sound butthurt, this is why you are not a good writer.

STFU you fucking queer. Get lost we don't need egotistical fucking power hungry morons here. This is the place to crystallize metasuggestions and build whatever the hell we agree is helpful. You aren't an user fuck you.

holy shit cringe

it's literal garbage, ESPECIALLY The artwork and animation, but also holy fuck the bad voice acting and dialogue and lack of any story..

but worst of all is that this is BLUE PILLED

thinking the solution is to give up freedom is literally as blue pilled as it gets

you cant liberate people by taking their liberty away

you guys are literal fucking communists

It's tough sometimes, I've had to move to wholesome RL activities to fill the void that no longer having a forum not filled with retards has left.

newsflash: you're just as retarded as them

im an unbiased 3rd party.. you're definitely a fucking tard

No hipster. You have no idea who I am or what I've done. I was trying to help you. But you're arrogant. That's what makes you untalented.

lol
Then why are you a horrrrrible writer? You're not bad at animation. Maybe don't step out of your field? You didn't give the book its props because you said it was a fucking freshman book. I mean, for fucks sakes dude. That book, IF YOU'RE THE REAL DEAL, is the like learning waves if you're a fish.
(value changes)

You're a poser… It's OK. At least you're one of us so I don't want to dicourage you. I'm just saying, you hipster kids with your feminine voices and your beards and you fucking confidence. You're fucking products of Jewish mind control. Break yourself. You're dead.
You're fake
You're useless
You're try hard.

Then you'll be a real artist…

Murdoch Murdoch is no joke. They're dumb people but they have raw talent. It's something you don't just create. It's something in them. It's like they had when they were 5 years old. YOU DON'T.
So you need to learn how to STRUCTURE. Your animation isn't even good. The fucking mouths are moving all out of sink.
Just do something simple. Take a Xurios song, or Johnny Cash "when the man comes around" and put it to modern times with edits. You're not self critical enough.

Real artists live on brutal self criticism. You're a hipster.

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Kerouac was for irony

The death of art. The coward's way out

Dunno man, how about you devise a test you feel most comfortably measures intelligence, then we can both take that test. You beat me, I'll shoot myself. I beat you, you shoot yourself. Either way, we can both reduce the chance of encountering the other to 0.

Great to see you putting your talents to use, I've been writing an animated sitcom for a while but flash is retarded so I keep putting the actual work off.
Good work, OP, I like it.

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I dig the aesthetic, for the most part.
I loved the WompWomps, and the goddesses are pretty likable characters.
The butthole/fecal jokes weren't really my thing, but there was definitely some funny stuff in there.
Overall it kept my attention long enough to get me through both episodes.

I don't think trying to cater primarily to normies as some here have suggested is a good idea. Just like MM, you do have a potential natural audience with people like me who simply can't watch any of the shit (((Hollywood))) churns out because all the Anti-White stuff in those productions makes me angry. But if you want to tone it down with the symbolism etc. in order to not get thrown off of mainstream platforms, and so one can watch it with friends without immediately outing oneself as a nazi, then those are valid reasons.

As far as the production quality goes, the biggest problem your show has is simply the shortage of good voice actors. Hearing half a dozen characters speak with the same voice is off-putting no matter how you look at it. Your OP should have included a call for participation on that front. There are bound to be a few people on Zig Forums who have decent voice-acting talent and the willingness to spend 50 bucks on a halfway decent microphone. (I can't help you with that because my voice sounds cringy on records, especially when I speak English with my German accent).
Also, the lip animations and facial expressions need work, as others have pointed out.

What are your thoughts on collaborating with TRS? Maybe they could host your show as backup for when you do eventually get kicked off YouTube, throw some of their paywall money your way, and help you out with voice actors (I'm thinking especially of DeMarcus Leibowitz, Morrakiu and Ghoul).

Also, what does the name Zoar mean, if anything?

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kek, You're kikes are getting desperate

Look at the weeb loser

Thanks. You gotta just jump in and do it. A cartoonist once said you have to make 1000 lousy pages before you make your first truly good one. The quicker you take your lumps, learn your strengths and correct your weaknesses the sooner you'll get to where you want to be. Don't worry about being perfect before you start, it's what holds so many people back because you get better only long after you've started. Every non-doer will try desperately to convince you otherwise.

Here's the thing with relying on free help. They don't feel any real obligation to get the work done on a deadline. If you say "we need this by Friday", when Friday comes, and they don't have it, you can't really do anything because they're thinking 'geez man IM DOING THIS FOR FREE get off my back". Consequently you might get something two weeks late and their 'help' is just slowing down a thing you could have just done yourself in an afternoon.

I hired voice actors on Fiverr.com before and it's almost as bad. Just replace "hey man I'm doing this for FREE" with "hey man I'm doing this CHEAP". Most of these voice actors ideally want a gig that pays $500 to read 30 seconds of ad copy. If you dump a 6 page script on them with multiple characters you get back a zero effort mp3 with a first and only take that sounds nothing like their demo. My first episode is paid actors and even though the male did a pretty good job, the female just sucked and was a waste of money.

Not many people have the ability to take on a mercenary attitude about making stuff. It's hard finding reliable help on zero budget.

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The response to your dumb remark about how making "one retarded project doesn't take away any skills you learned".
Which is true, but you still consciously chose to indulge in fecal humor and peak retardation instead of something sensible, there is no irony.
By ironically eating shit you are still putting actual non ironic feces into your mouth and unironically chewing and swallowing them because that's the activity you chose to prioritize over all possible other activities you could have done.
And you did this deliberately, unironically, because there is no irony.

You chose the path of degenerate "humor" and "indirect bullshit" over clear and honest glory and elevation.
Either because you like that the most, or you cannot do anything that isn't completely debased degenerate bullshit.

Literal jewish argumentation 101.
You don't like our degenerate jew shit? You must be dumb, lol.

If you hire voice actors use a site where you can leave feedback.

Note how I used "dumb" both to address OP and call it jewish argumentation.

Does my "irony" like that please you? Does it make me look cool? Or like a total retard.

That said, both of my posts are still 1488% correct.

LOL i never mentioned feces once in my cartoon. You seem a bit…fixated. A guy had an itchy butt once….

You are going on and on graphically describing 'chewing and swallowing' shit for paragraphs in extreme, vivid detail.

This has to be some new bizarre JIDF divide and conquor shill tactic. Fecal posting?? Makes a lot of sense.

You people really hate to see the white man organizing their creative energies huh? Look at all the effort! SEETHING haha

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...

Also,
Yeah, sure thing Mister Sugarman.

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THIS MAD

Yeah, I need my Zoar, hebrew (tzoar) for safe space, sanctuary, haven, etc, "fellow white man".

Stay mad mohammed

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What the fuck is ZOAR?

Zoara, meaning "small" or "insignificance" in Hebrew (a "little one" as Lot called it), was a city east of Jordan in the vale of Siddim, near the Dead Sea. Along with Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, and Zeboim, Zoar was one of the 5 cities slated for destruction by God; but Zoar was spared at Lot's plea as his place of refuge (Genesis 19:20-23). Segor is the Septuagint form of "Zoar".

biblehub.com/topical/z/zoar.htm

Toy I had as a kid. It's a cool word.

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autism

who the fuck played with toys?

literally every child not from Africa

Lou Scheimer, a jew, was the main force behind He-Man, by the way.