The Syria Strikes: A Conspiracy Theory

On the morning of April 4th, 2017, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, on the verge of a military victory against the terrorist insurgency in his country and on the eve of peace talks that would secure his position as president, decided to use chemical weapons he didn’t have against a target of no military significance in front of as many cameras as possible to cross the one red line that would insure his own government’s downfall.

Soon after, the Academy Award-winning White Helmets—noted for their Oscar-worthy performances, persistent proximity to Al Qaeda, and financial dependence on USAID—bravely risked their lives, handling Sarin victims bare-handed, against every protocol in the book.

Without presenting a shred of evidence, President Donald Trump boldly launched a military strike against Shayrat airfield because “national security interest,” promising to help the “beautiful babies” (*offer does not apply to babies in Gaza, Yemen, Pakistan, or basically anywhere else).

That military strike, a volley of 59 Tomahawk land attack missiles, of which 23 actually made it to their target, failed to take out a single runway or even keep the airbase from operating for even 24 hours, but was a complete success for ExxonMobil, Raytheon and Donald Trump.

No one could question the wisdom of striking Syria (except Donald Trump). And no one could oppose such a move (except Russia).

The Trump Train, still convinced by candidate Trump (“dropping bombs on Assad” and “look what happened after Gaddafi“) concluded that this was 7th-dimensional backgammon to make China afraid of the US’ willingness to spend $100 million in a fearsome show of failing to destroy a single airfield.

Throughout the world people rejoice as a horrible secular regime in the Middle East is replaced by yet another peace-loving band of ragtag human rights campaigners and child-beheaders motivated by a desire to subdue the armies of Rome in an apocalyptic confrontation in Dabiq. (*actual ISIS belief)

The chemicals for the previous “red line” attack in Syria have since been proven to come from Libya with US approval, but that’s probably not relevant to this case.

The CIA has released declassified report after declassified report showing that the plan to topple Syria’s government has been in the works for decades, but this just shows that they were right all along.

The mainstream media unquestioningly asserts that the story is true because the US government says so, but that’s OK, because we all know the MSM is full of unbiased truth-tellers and dig hard to get the raw facts on every story. (“beauty of our weapons“)

Even members of Congress think the story is a load of hogwash, but that’s OK, because they’re probably crazy.

Meanwhile, the White House has released a report on its intelligence about the chemical attack that refutes its own version of the story, but that’s OK because when has the White House ever lied people into war?

This man doesn’t exist, and if you think he does you’re an enemy of humanity who should apologize for having been born. Likewise him, her, her, him and him. And him and her.

This is the 100% true story of the #SyriaStrikes, and if you support sites like The Corbett Report that question it in any way, you are a moonbeam fake news tyrant-loving hippy pinko Russian agent and should commit ritual suicide immediately.

If you love your country and/or liberty, NASCAR, supermodels, TV, water slides or your mother you will not question this story in any way. Ever.

This message has been brought to you by the Friends of the Brookings Institute, Raytheon, Genie Oil, (((Oded Yinon))), I-CIA-SIS and The New York Times.

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Dude, nobody fucking cares.
You're sliding pedo kike hunts.

((( )))

The White House is a conspiracy theory?

Fuck off shareblue
We're a pro-trump board you fucking shill

Not your blog, faggot.

Wait, something about that post didn't sound right

Reminder

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Hi OP

Nice dubs

For once, a quality kike post. Checked and amplified.

Always the first huh

Says who? You? One dude?
I'll maintain that the administration was baited using deepstate assets, the (((white helmets))), and the msm into responding to what was clearly a contrived event.

Trump, rather than attest to the millions of fucking mouthbreathering normies and liberal faggots and kikes the complete lunacy of what was presently occurring, made a showing of absolutely zero consequence garnering no loss of life as a way to settle the matter. Media and handlers got baited into responding positively to the entire debacle by swooning over the stupid goy for falling for their tricks, only to realize they got caught in a doublebind snafu.

Top kek

Are you retarded?

Bump for based Corbett bants.

image needs an update

Another thing that should be pointed out is that those while expensive already existed, were already paid for and were at the end of their "life span", meaning that if they hadn't blown up a bunch of sand you'd have "spend" those millions on dismantling them instead.

If you don't want to get on Trump's naughty list, delete this.

Enough with the fucking bait spam.
You didnt even bother to fucking give a link for fucks sake god damn i hate how shitty our moderation has become.

>archive.fo/w1n2d

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we're fucked

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You "People"

Are

Fucking AIDS

8ch.net/log.php?board=pol

One of the better threads made all year.

The thread this meme was made for

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Here you go OP. I've compiled your whole post and 5min yidtube video into a single meme.

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hahahaha xDDDDD truuuu !!!!111!!

please kill yourself or go back to reddit at least