Sorry if this seems like a shitpost or forum sliding but I need to get this off my chest and I know you fuckers are the only ones I can have a reasonable discussion with on this matter.
I just don't know where I sit on the political spectrum anymore. I was raised with left-wing values but spent a couple years on 4chan's Zig Forums. Reading Zig Forums really opened my mind to a lot of things regarding race, culture, history and the nature of authoritarianism. Eventually I go to university, less time for 4chan and I start to become more normie, my inner lefty started to come out again. But then #GamerGate happened and that immediately brought me right back into the fold. Again, I felt I had been blind for years but now I could see again just how bad the Left were becoming and they weren't even pretending to play by the same rules anymore, they've become far more aggressive and irrational than ever before.
But you know, my inner lefty is still there somewhere, telling me that we should have things like free education, healthcare and a welfare system that protects the most vulnerable people in our society. However I also believe that we should give priority to indigenous peoples in any country of the world. If I say this in application to America or Australia, I'll be met with raucous applause for being so "right-on" but if I say it in the context of a European country then I'm shat on as a racist. I can't deal with this double standard and I absolutely 100% outright fully reject the notion that being white is an inherently bad thing in any way shape or form. I don't think we should be stringing up niggers but I think we should be free to refer to them as such, I don't believe in completely isolating ourselves from the outside world but I don't believe in open borders either.
I'm stuck viewing the world through two perspectives constantly. One eye sees evil capitalist bastards looking to squeeze every penny out of people who don't deserve to get shat on and the other eye sees disrespectful foreigners coming into our land and telling us we have problems. One eye sees the struggle of the working class and the other eye sees fake refugees trying to catch what they perceive as a gravy train. I don't hate non-whites but I do think the white race needs to be preserved and I don't think that the problems of other poor undeveloped countries are in any way our responsibility.
Where the fuck do I belong?