Brace for a minor blog-post on my part, but I want to use it to start a general thread about the subject.
As far as I see it, I'm not in the best physical and mental condition right now. I have only myself to blame for that, but in order to fix it, I need advice, information, from some independent source, and this place seems the best for it; at least I can't think of any else that would do the job. For many reasons, the biggest ones being my own shortcomings and the general situation of the world today, I'm on the verge of breaking and giving up, because the strength to combat this clownship happening nowadays is running out; and everything being a constant struggle against (((the tide))) wears me out like hell.
Everyone has weaknesses, I just happen to have more than others, or at least they're more overbearing for me. I've been holding on for a long time already, and these weaknesses are starting to get the better of me. Without going into others, I want to focus on what the thread title points towards. Sexuality is, in my eyes and according to my conclusions, one of the biggest weak points of humanity, specifically the male part of it: females since time immemorial have used it to gain relevance and power over men, so for them it's a "weakness" in a different way, but I don't want to get into it, and instead focus on men. As far as we're aware, healthy human male possesses a certain amount of sexual drive in order to gain a mate and continue the species. Yet, in modern times, after the inception of sexual revolution and sexualization of everyday life through all kinds of (((media))) this has become a much greater problem - hedonism, once a fringe part of world views reserved to widely despised degenerates has grown into full-fledged, legitimized lifestyle and continues to grow, incorporating more and more people, sometimes fully aware and embracing it, sometimes unwitting. Hedonistic approach has many faces and its followers many reasons for embracing it. The one I wish to focus on, for it concerns me the most, is the unwitting one, with its goal being reconciling with the personal problems and relaxation.
To put it more straightforwardly, I have fallen into a downward spiral trying to reconcile with my state of being. I'm probably addicted to masturbation, and due to my body growing tolerant to the stimulus my brain is seeking more and more degenerate, unhinged fuel to maintain the flow of dopamine. I have caught myself seeing pleasure in something that shouldn't exist in this world, and I greatly despise myself for it. I can blame only my own weakness and the only explanation I have for myself is trying to stay sane and satiate my need for something that just felt good. I woke up a few days ago and feeling enormous disgust and disdain for myself I said "no more, it will not happen again". I fully realize that what I do is wrong and that the pleasure is a false idol, it brings no good. Drug addicts feel pleasure when they inject poison in their veins, a poison that destroys their bodies. Alcoholics feel pleasure when they engage in their vice and aren't aware they're poisoning themselves as well. And the pornography and masturbation are drugs as well, and they poison and pollute the mind. I refuse to go further down the rabbit hole. I need to stop it, and I cannot do it alone for any longer. I have nobody else to ask for help, I don't want anyone to know about it. It's known that great men managed to reject the vice and remain steadfast to their convictions, but I'm not one of them, despite how much I would like to be one.
And that's what I need your help with. How to combat this occurence? How to make myself numb to sexual attraction of any kind? How to destroy and uproot the lust and make myself completely untouchable to it? I want to have the strength to fight other things that make me weak, but I need to help with this one in particular, because I cannot handle the corruption of mind that have already taken the root. What can I do? Is there anything I can take to stop feeling the lust, the constant sexual imagery and the temptation of relieving myself?