When FBI agents are sworn in, they are required to get in a circle and jerk off onto a huge picture of J. Edgar Hoover while Robert Mueller moves around the circle licking every new agent's butthole. The entire thing is recorded with each agent's face focused on long enough to clearly identify them. Once each new agent has donated their DNA, they are branded on the left buttock with a Star of David, as their ass now belongs to Israel.
Shocking stuff, I know. I'm risking my life and the lives of my dogs just sharing this.