Suspect Bribes Cops With Doughnuts

A man thought he could charm anyone with doughnuts, including law enforcement officers. Well, he soon found he was mistaken. Maryland police arrested him despite his “sweet offer” to bribe them with doughnuts.

Attached: dreamstime_m_12298089.jpg (2121x1414, 1.49M)

He stayed out of prison longer than I expected tbh

Attached: C7CB9AB9-FA63-44E4-AC66-E184392E6746.jpeg (1140x1520, 131.32K)

Guess what happened to them afterwards…

Attached: clancy.jpg (1200x1200, 252.77K)

Oooh. Please tell us! What happened to them?

Attached: doughnuts08.jpg (800x533, 76.03K)

Attached: Andy's Donut Caper.jpg (1140x1520, 241.86K)

No one should be allowed to 'own' donuts anyway, in today's day and age. We all need to learn to redistribute the wealth. Spread the donut-love around a bit, as it were.

Attached: Johnny Approved NEWS.jpg (1024x683, 197.86K)

Sure thing, buddy here you can have the entire doughnut hole all for yourself.

Attached: Donut Bribery.jpg (720x1042, 177.39K)


Attached: Cops LOVE Donuts!.jpg (800x533, 86.23K)

You can't bribe them with what they get for free. What a tard?


No wonder I couldn't find this thread, Burddick….

it's in shitty NEWSPLUS

Thank God you weren't required to try to spelled SKIES in this bullshit thread, huh ?…..

………at least not yet

The sky's the limit itt.
Unfortunately I have to leave for about 3 hours so I might miss bird-dog's spelling attempts amd your beratement in real time; but I'll be back!

Aaargh! Fat thumb.

Have you missed me?

How many miles did you get for your yearly bonus?

Attached: PicsArt_07-26-05.24.46.jpg (2121x1414, 235.94K)

Lol I'll see ya soon


Attached: PicsArt_07-26-05.34.02.gif (388x480, 426.32K)

Have you considered trying to bribe Jim out of an extra gallon of gasoline?

You could tell him that you'll tell everyone the truth about him molesting Ron…..

You'd be surprised what some people will do for a gallon of gas…..

Isn't that right, ?

Attached: PicsArt_07-03-12.57.29.jpg (2230x958, 88.68K)

Jim's got some nice tits, huh?….

The girdle is doing wonders for his physique

Attached: Screenshot_20180612-220121.png (1080x1920, 913.18K)

Attached: 20180629_183400.jpg (2560x1919, 395.34K)

do-not tell Jim that Diana has other customers….

Get it?…..


get it?….

she's a prostitute, so 'doNOT' tell fat boy that she's still tricking for other johns

Attached: Screenshot_20180612-221642.png (1080x1920, 1.04M)

Hey, Birddick…..

who's THIS little sassy monkey?

is that Diana's daughter?

Please tell me that she's underage

Attached: Screenshot_20180726-174342.png (1080x1920, 718.64K)

let's just be honest, dude…

EVERY man likes 'em young

the only difference between you and me is that I like underaged FEMALES

Attached: PicsArt_07-02-07.35.55.jpg (480x360, 39.56K)

I bet this little idiot has THE BEST holes in Manila…

Can you give me Diana's phone number?

I want to see if shell hook me up with this little spidermonkey

Attached: Screenshot_20180726-175041.png (1080x1920, 291.31K)

Diana probably used to be hot a long time ago….

if you're into monkey-faced public urinals with legs

Attached: Diana n Jim_20180708092320.gif (566x248, 3.33M)

You and I both know that although she contributes absolutelynothing, Diana's not about to settle for gasoline and bullets.

That's why it's probably best that you don't tell Jim about her other customers.

Attached: PicsArt_07-26-06.20.01.jpg (400x400, 37.76K)

We both know Egg Zack Lee what would happen to her if you did.

Attached: PicsArt_07-26-06.17.58.jpg (400x400, 37.38K)

Attached: 1527538799324.png (1433x2048, 1.29M)

at least with the ridiculous child's Halloween makeup on, nobody will think you're trying to present yourself as a legitimate journalist

Attached: PicsArt_07-26-06.51.49.png (1920x1080, 1.47M)


don't tell me you're not a fan of art

tsk tsk tsk


Attached: PicsArt_07-26-07.03.28.png (1567x2370, 2.2M)

Let's just start at the beginning again, right?

I've got all night……

I really don't mind doing this 100 times

Attached: PicsArt_07-26-06.35.56.jpg (400x400, 29.1K)

Remember when I told you that you shouldn't tell Jim about Diana turning tricks with other customers behind his big, fat, humpback ?

Attached: PicsArt_07-26-06.20.01.jpg (400x400, 37.76K)

Because we both know how Jim would handle it

Attached: PicsArt_07-26-06.17.58.jpg (400x400, 37.38K)

Attached: PicsArt_07-26-05.24.46.jpg (2121x1414, 235.94K)

Need to get jealous because her other customers don't have to wear a girdle under their t-shirt when they do yoga….

And they don't have disgusting gynecomastia

Attached: Screenshot_20180612-220121.png (1080x1920, 913.18K)

Attached: 1527282321711.jpg (1024x512, 419.25K)

Q: have you ever been talkin to Jim and suddenly you couldn't stop laughing at his gynecomastia?

Attached: Screenshot_20180612-220230.png (1080x1920, 875.22K)

Has he ever taken his shirt off around you before?

Attached: PicsArt_07-07-06.58.28.jpg (392x315, 24.79K)

Q: have you ever asked him why he shaves his arms and his legs?

Attached: Screenshot_20180612-220305.png (1080x1920, 1.03M)

Q: have you ever thought about using one of your yearly bonus bullets to just kill yourself, so you don't have to admit that you work for Jim anymore?

Attached: not PicsArt_20180726191720.jpg (1382x1490, 225K)

I'm not sure which one would be more humiliating…..

Not being able to spell the word SKIES correctly, or admitting that you work for Jim, and got your yearly bonus in gasoline and bullets….

Attached: Capture 2018-06-11 15.20.24.jpg (1920x1080, 200.9K)

Jim can't even bribe little children with Sour Patch Communion Wafers, but he was able to hoodwink YOU into accepting a tank full of gas as your yearly bonus.

Attached: PicsArt_06-12-12.12.13.jpg (858x536, 98.45K)

I have an honest question, and I would appreciate an honest answer……

How long have you known about Jim molesting Ron?

Attached: PicsArt_07-26-07.38.15.png (1920x1080, 1.72M)

Attached: PicsArt_07-26-05.31.57.jpg (1948x2403, 330.42K)

Zig Forums more like /goldwatershillzone/

Take a look at this 'news article' on The Turdwater….

Attached: Screenshot_20180726-195645.png (1080x1920, 500.84K)

This image is actually an implied threat against the life of House Speaker Paul Ryan.

Attached: Screenshot_20180726-202040.png (1920x1080, 765.59K)

and if I'm not mistaken, it's YOU who published this 'news article' today……..

guess what ?

Attached: Screenshot_20180726-195508.png (1080x1920, 696.21K)

I reported you

Attached: Screenshot_20180726-195613.png (1080x1920, 260.73K)

18 U.S. Code § 373
Solicitation to commit a crime of violence

US Code

(a) Whoever, with intent that another person engage in conduct constituting a felony that has as an element the use, attempted use, or threatened use of physical force against property or against the person of another in violation of the laws of the United States, and under circumstances strongly corroborative of that intent, solicits, commands, induces, or otherwise endeavors to persuade such other person to engage in such conduct, shall be imprisoned not more than one-half the maximum term of imprisonment or (notwithstanding section 3571) fined not more than one-half of the maximum fine prescribed for the punishment of the crime solicited, or both; or if the crime solicited is punishable by life imprisonment or death, shall be imprisoned for not more than twenty years.

18 U.S. Code § 2101
Riots | US Law
(a) Whoever travels in interstate or foreign commerce or uses any facility of interstate or foreign commerce, including, but not limited to, the mail, telegraph, telephone, radio, or television, with intent—
(1) to incite a riot; or
(2) to organize, promote, encourage, participate in, or carry on a riot; or
(3) to commit any act of violence in furtherance of a riot; or
(4) to aid or abet any person in inciting or participating in or carrying on a riot or committing any act of violence in furtherance of a riot;
and who either during the course of any such travel or use or thereafter performs or attempts to perform any other overt act for any purpose specified in subparagraph (A), (B), (C), or (D) of this paragraph— [1]
Shall be fined under this title, or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.
(b) In any prosecution under this section, proof that a defendant engaged or attempted to engage in one or more of the overt acts described in subparagraph (A), (B), (C), or (D) of paragraph (1) of subsection (a) [2] and (1) has traveled in interstate or foreign commerce, or (2) has use of or used any facility of interstate or foreign commerce, including but not limited to, mail, telegraph, telephone, radio, or television, to communicate with or broadcast to any person or group of persons prior to such overt acts, such travel or use shall be admissible proof to establish that such defendant traveled in or used such facility of interstate or foreign commerce.

I'm EXTREMELY offended by your visual imagery published on the internet, trying to incite an act of violence against House Speaker Paul Ryan….

as an American citizen, it was my duty to report The Goldwater for this blatant violation of federal law.

Lol @ The Goldwater getting scared and suddenly switching the photograph…..

TOO LATE, I sent the FBI a screenshot….

lol !! now, you're REALLY under investigation…
they've been watching you for a while now, but now you're actually under investigation for a possible federal offense !…….

Hey, Major?…..

You tell Jim that Johnny Neptune Did This To You!!

Attached: Screenshot_20180726-204518.png (1920x1080, 1.29M)

Imagine that.
I'm EXTREMELY offended by your visual imagery also, Johnny. I have already reported you for being an admitted pedophile and for posting underage children in skimpy clothing, including a lewd loli with an adult man that you posted repeatedly in another thread, and for which you were permab& a few hours ago. The FBI will laugh at your idiotic report, while they are taking mine very seriously. They have evidently had their eye on you for some time. Yes, the white van is for you, Johnny.

Attached: download_20180602_070123.jpg (1024x577, 473.32K)

Chickenshits freaked out and pulled the image down….

lol too late, bitch

Attached: Screenshot_20180726-204815.png (1080x1920, 511.3K)

LOL THE PROUDEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE so far today at least

Attached: 1a62317b019ba2e5aaa4d56ed07027b83e8847c8b96a3dd0fceece27bac0ef20.png (1080x1667, 208.16K)

Lel af!

See, you can effect change!

you want to know the funniest part?…..

(I actually DID report the article to the FBI)

and another funny aspect?
I've been a federal Informant since I was 18 years old…

100% true….
They know EGG ZACK LEE who I am.

everybody does….

Attached: 00cc64dfa68ee79e22cfc30b4301bcd1226e476dc68b5d2cb1e89aedc4808cd6.png (1080x1920, 181.39K)

When I was 17, I befriended a special field agent in the G.B.I. named Agent Barry Slade…

Attached: 5a67ee7c222b40ca6722dece4e812d4ac0f9eed032a651e49b65a0059f218088.jpg (2287x1990, 358.63K)

btw I'm NOT joking at all….

when I was 18, I helped Barry put some very, very bad people where they needed to be…..

I wore the wire, the whole deal….

Later, Barry put me in touch with a few other Alphabet Soup Agencies, and there was NOTHING even vaguely 'confidential' about it.

I told the people RIGHT TO THEIR FACES what I was going to do to them, and they thought I was joking'…..

100% TRUE

Attached: d9e7ac7d51b126788d5054f6abb068f08b8a69a6722c0c780596224530485aa5.png (1080x1920, 462.19K)

See, Atlanta had all the field offices of those agencies.

Because I'm weird, people always assume I'm a 'bad person''', and they always opened up to me about some really weird shit….

You'd be surprised what people invited me to get involved in over all these years

Shit that today's wet behind the ears punks would never believe

Attached: 589a370e1f0d7303364d695607e2284be5530f6545ce4ff29928fe9ac527736f(2).jpg (1096x616, 38.68K)

being weird has many benefits

Attached: PicsArt_07-24-12.32.13.png (1080x689, 84.76K)

And I'm very good at it

Attached: PicsArt_07-24-12.11.15.jpg (2280x1387, 88.28K)

but behind the weird facade, I'm just a good old fashioned wholesome guy

Attached: boring.jpg (2295x1290, 230.59K)

a 'good guy'….

Attached: 18e36d55b33644ba433cd83536a497050cd1d922fd0d6f751531cab705e05ae2.jpg (2295x1290, 270.06K)

a 'family man'….

Attached: 7523c79da56ce2e0a4cd44bccbdf5495ea6d9a35e56ca65189c68200a1612681.jpg (1306x745, 88.44K)

…………. L

O ……………

…………. L

@ 'perma' ban

of IP's

I haven't even used 1/200th
of them so far…..

Attached: c54dc9d80e487e12dba66d7df43dbe447e1e225640c2650299c4bf9b8899f743.jpg (704x1267, 110.91K)

U.S. Sneaky Service

Attached: PicsArt_03-12-12.55.23.jpg (714x720, 31.21K)

and I don't say that lightly

Attached: jn logo.jpg (1268x1440, 146.31K)

Always have been

Attached: JOHNNY NEPTUNE.jpg (600x450, 17.08K)

always will be

Attached: PicsArt_11-29-12_20180726212134.55_20180726212134.09_20180726212134.png (714x710, 576.48K)

Attached: Screenshot_20170828-083056.png (1080x1920, 822.42K)

Attached: 1456926163685.png (500x438, 372.77K)

let's put it this way:

I'm probably THE biggest
piece of shit you'll ever
never meet

Attached: Screenshot_2015-11-24-11-01-40.png (1280x720, 345.54K)

and my only
guarantee :

you'll NEVER
forget me…..

you'll see

Attached: 140198798.jpg (389x520, 59.27K)

when somebody's idiotic political
philosophies override their ability
to control their actions……………..

and they publish an image of
the House Speaker of The
United States of America

with the word TRAITOR
emblazoned across his

and a group of silouhetted
individuals pointing weapons
at his head…….

that's clearly going too far

Hey, Assclown

A G A I N :

tell Jim that I said, "Johnny Neptune Did This To You."

Plus, it's that ugly hag Red Pill who did it

And she can debate her theories on jurisprudence with whoever finally interviews her

Major, you be a good boy, and run along and inform your boss about tonight's lil fiasco, okay ?

You tell him 'Johnny Neptune says to call him'…

He's got my phone number. I post it all the time

Attached: PicsArt_06-12-01.03.19.jpg (612x380, 77.89K)

Tell Jim I'll buy him some donuts if he calls me

Attached: PicsArt_07-02-12_20180726191721.09_20180726191721.16_20180726191721.jpg (550x413, 52.11K)

Gay Boys Infantry?

Georgia Bureau of Investigation

a branch of the FBI

Attached: Copy of free donuts- call me, jim.jpg (1164x896, 278.08K)

but it's important to note:

I didn't just
'narc' on people

not at all
that's not what
I was doing

Wow! You are so cool. I wish I could be like you, but I have several hundred thousand IPs in 278 different countries, and I cycle through about 200 of them a day. A different IP for every post. I wouldn't even know if I ever got banned!

I knew ALL kinds of
'criminals', depending
on your particular
concept of a criminal is

I only got involved when
it had to be done……..
when SOMEBODY had to
put an end to what these
particular people were doing

that's very sweet of you
thank you

I'll give you an autograph later

these were people
who had crossed the line
there is honor
amongst thieves

but these were all
individuals who were
destroying people's lives

preying on the vulnerable

here you go

now get lost

Attached: JN's Autograph.png (1515x674, 254.79K)

for example: he's dead now
so I can Mention
Harold 'Bit' Thrower

Speaking of bribing cops with donuts:

check out this chick
she paints her own face
this is all done
with just common

you'll see——

Her name's Mimi Choy

Attached: mimi-choy-1.jpg (800x420, 70.9K)

Attached: mimi-choy-makeup-10-644x644.jpg (644x644, 43.5K)

Attached: Screen-Shot-2017-05-26-at-9.43.40-AM-644x527.png (644x527, 647.43K)

Attached: mimi-choy-makup-8-644x801.jpg (644x801, 106.63K)