thegoldwater.com
A man thought he could charm anyone with doughnuts, including law enforcement officers. Well, he soon found he was mistaken. Maryland police arrested him despite his “sweet offer” to bribe them with doughnuts.
Suspect Bribes Cops With Doughnuts
Kevin Reyes
Andrew Kelly
He stayed out of prison longer than I expected tbh
Joseph Clark
Guess what happened to them afterwards…
Brody Carter
Oooh. Please tell us! What happened to them?
Colton Price
Dominic Collins
No one should be allowed to 'own' donuts anyway, in today's day and age. We all need to learn to redistribute the wealth. Spread the donut-love around a bit, as it were.
Jeremiah Taylor
Sure thing, buddy here you can have the entire doughnut hole all for yourself.
James Nguyen
Hudson Cook
ftfy
Elijah Morris
You can't bribe them with what they get for free. What a tard?
Camden Parker
Hahahahaha!!!!
John Murphy
No wonder I couldn't find this thread, Burddick….
it's in shitty NEWSPLUS
Owen Ortiz
Thank God you weren't required to try to spelled SKIES in this bullshit thread, huh ?…..
………at least not yet
Wyatt Cooper
The sky's the limit itt.
Unfortunately I have to leave for about 3 hours so I might miss bird-dog's spelling attempts amd your beratement in real time; but I'll be back!
Logan Jenkins
*and
Aaargh! Fat thumb.
Angel Price
Have you missed me?
How many miles did you get for your yearly bonus?
Nicholas Russell
Lol I'll see ya soon
Aiden James
...
Jacob Sanders
Grayson Gomez
Have you considered trying to bribe Jim out of an extra gallon of gasoline?
You could tell him that you'll tell everyone the truth about him molesting Ron…..
Joshua Thomas
You'd be surprised what some people will do for a gallon of gas…..
Isn't that right, ?
Carter James
Noah Nguyen
Jim's got some nice tits, huh?….
The girdle is doing wonders for his physique
Xavier Walker
Chase Young
do-not tell Jim that Diana has other customers….
Get it?…..
doNOT?
get it?….
she's a prostitute, so 'doNOT' tell fat boy that she's still tricking for other johns
Justin Ross
Hey, Birddick…..
who's THIS little sassy monkey?
is that Diana's daughter?
Please tell me that she's underage
Evan Hill
let's just be honest, dude…
EVERY man likes 'em young
the only difference between you and me is that I like underaged FEMALES
Nolan Jenkins
I bet this little idiot has THE BEST holes in Manila…
Can you give me Diana's phone number?
I want to see if shell hook me up with this little spidermonkey
Carter Diaz
Diana probably used to be hot a long time ago….
if you're into monkey-faced public urinals with legs
Christopher Campbell
You and I both know that although she contributes absolutelynothing, Diana's not about to settle for gasoline and bullets.
That's why it's probably best that you don't tell Jim about her other customers.
Benjamin Butler
We both know Egg Zack Lee what would happen to her if you did.
John Martin
Benjamin Edwards
at least with the ridiculous child's Halloween makeup on, nobody will think you're trying to present yourself as a legitimate journalist
Angel White
AWWWWW, SGT. SASSYPANTS……
don't tell me you're not a fan of art
tsk tsk tsk
DELETING MY CONTRIBUTIONS TO THIS THREAD, HUH?….
Jack Nelson
Let's just start at the beginning again, right?
I've got all night……
I really don't mind doing this 100 times
Brody Anderson
Remember when I told you that you shouldn't tell Jim about Diana turning tricks with other customers behind his big, fat, humpback ?
Jacob Robinson
Because we both know how Jim would handle it
Daniel Hall
Colton Scott
Need to get jealous because her other customers don't have to wear a girdle under their t-shirt when they do yoga….
And they don't have disgusting gynecomastia
Lucas Gray
Owen Scott
Q: have you ever been talkin to Jim and suddenly you couldn't stop laughing at his gynecomastia?
Jeremiah Mitchell
Has he ever taken his shirt off around you before?
John Anderson
Q: have you ever asked him why he shaves his arms and his legs?
Lincoln Perry
Q: have you ever thought about using one of your yearly bonus bullets to just kill yourself, so you don't have to admit that you work for Jim anymore?
Brandon Ramirez
I'm not sure which one would be more humiliating…..
Not being able to spell the word SKIES correctly, or admitting that you work for Jim, and got your yearly bonus in gasoline and bullets….
Colton Allen
Jim can't even bribe little children with Sour Patch Communion Wafers, but he was able to hoodwink YOU into accepting a tank full of gas as your yearly bonus.
Connor Robinson
I have an honest question, and I would appreciate an honest answer……
How long have you known about Jim molesting Ron?
Parker Carter
Anthony Scott
Zig Forums more like /goldwatershillzone/
Nathan Kelly
Take a look at this 'news article' on The Turdwater….
Xavier Harris
This image is actually an implied threat against the life of House Speaker Paul Ryan.
Daniel Brooks
and if I'm not mistaken, it's YOU who published this 'news article' today……..
guess what ?
Gavin Howard
Isaac Smith
I reported you
Logan Evans
18 U.S. Code § 373
Solicitation to commit a crime of violence
US Code
Notes
(a) Whoever, with intent that another person engage in conduct constituting a felony that has as an element the use, attempted use, or threatened use of physical force against property or against the person of another in violation of the laws of the United States, and under circumstances strongly corroborative of that intent, solicits, commands, induces, or otherwise endeavors to persuade such other person to engage in such conduct, shall be imprisoned not more than one-half the maximum term of imprisonment or (notwithstanding section 3571) fined not more than one-half of the maximum fine prescribed for the punishment of the crime solicited, or both; or if the crime solicited is punishable by life imprisonment or death, shall be imprisoned for not more than twenty years.
Christopher Myers
18 U.S. Code § 2101
Riots | US Law
(a) Whoever travels in interstate or foreign commerce or uses any facility of interstate or foreign commerce, including, but not limited to, the mail, telegraph, telephone, radio, or television, with intent—
(1) to incite a riot; or
(2) to organize, promote, encourage, participate in, or carry on a riot; or
(3) to commit any act of violence in furtherance of a riot; or
(4) to aid or abet any person in inciting or participating in or carrying on a riot or committing any act of violence in furtherance of a riot;
and who either during the course of any such travel or use or thereafter performs or attempts to perform any other overt act for any purpose specified in subparagraph (A), (B), (C), or (D) of this paragraph— [1]
Shall be fined under this title, or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.
(b) In any prosecution under this section, proof that a defendant engaged or attempted to engage in one or more of the overt acts described in subparagraph (A), (B), (C), or (D) of paragraph (1) of subsection (a) [2] and (1) has traveled in interstate or foreign commerce, or (2) has use of or used any facility of interstate or foreign commerce, including but not limited to, mail, telegraph, telephone, radio, or television, to communicate with or broadcast to any person or group of persons prior to such overt acts, such travel or use shall be admissible proof to establish that such defendant traveled in or used such facility of interstate or foreign commerce.
Josiah Allen
I'm EXTREMELY offended by your visual imagery published on the internet, trying to incite an act of violence against House Speaker Paul Ryan….
as an American citizen, it was my duty to report The Goldwater for this blatant violation of federal law.
Christian Peterson
Lol @ The Goldwater getting scared and suddenly switching the photograph…..
TOO LATE, I sent the FBI a screenshot….
lol !! now, you're REALLY under investigation…
they've been watching you for a while now, but now you're actually under investigation for a possible federal offense !…….
Hey, Major?…..
You tell Jim that Johnny Neptune Did This To You!!
Owen Cruz
Imagine that.
I'm EXTREMELY offended by your visual imagery also, Johnny. I have already reported you for being an admitted pedophile and for posting underage children in skimpy clothing, including a lewd loli with an adult man that you posted repeatedly in another thread, and for which you were permab& a few hours ago. The FBI will laugh at your idiotic report, while they are taking mine very seriously. They have evidently had their eye on you for some time. Yes, the white van is for you, Johnny.
Jaxon Moore
Chickenshits freaked out and pulled the image down….
lol too late, bitch
Adam Cruz
LOL THE PROUDEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE so far today at least
Jaxson Edwards
Lel af!
Charles Garcia
See, you can effect change!
Parker Diaz
you want to know the funniest part?…..
(I actually DID report the article to the FBI)
and another funny aspect?
I've been a federal Informant since I was 18 years old…
100% true….
They know EGG ZACK LEE who I am.
everybody does….
Isaiah Price
When I was 17, I befriended a special field agent in the G.B.I. named Agent Barry Slade…
Asher Cruz
btw I'm NOT joking at all….
when I was 18, I helped Barry put some very, very bad people where they needed to be…..
I wore the wire, the whole deal….
Later, Barry put me in touch with a few other Alphabet Soup Agencies, and there was NOTHING even vaguely 'confidential' about it.
I told the people RIGHT TO THEIR FACES what I was going to do to them, and they thought I was joking'…..
100% TRUE
Landon Watson
See, Atlanta had all the field offices of those agencies.
Because I'm weird, people always assume I'm a 'bad person''', and they always opened up to me about some really weird shit….
You'd be surprised what people invited me to get involved in over all these years
Shit that today's wet behind the ears punks would never believe
Owen Perry
being weird has many benefits
Aaron Thomas
And I'm very good at it
Brody Morgan
but behind the weird facade, I'm just a good old fashioned wholesome guy
Austin Williams
a 'good guy'….
Lincoln Carter
a 'family man'….
Leo Price
…………. L
O ……………
…………. L
@ 'perma' ban
hahaha
I have HUNDREDS
and HUNDREDS
of IP's
I haven't even used 1/200th
of them so far…..
Adrian Harris
U.S. Sneaky Service
Nolan Brooks
and I don't say that lightly
Christian Adams
Always have been
Jeremiah Nguyen
always will be
Aiden Martin
Ethan Harris
Jeremiah Smith
let's put it this way:
I'm probably THE biggest
piece of shit you'll ever
never meet
Ian Hughes
and my only
guarantee :
you'll NEVER
forget me…..
you'll see
Adam Hall
when somebody's idiotic political
philosophies override their ability
to control their actions……………..
and they publish an image of
the House Speaker of The
United States of America
with the word TRAITOR
emblazoned across his
forehead……
and a group of silouhetted
individuals pointing weapons
at his head…….
that's clearly going too far
Cameron Murphy
Hey, Assclown
A G A I N :
tell Jim that I said, "Johnny Neptune Did This To You."
Lincoln Phillips
Plus, it's that ugly hag Red Pill who did it
And she can debate her theories on jurisprudence with whoever finally interviews her
Blake Brown
Major, you be a good boy, and run along and inform your boss about tonight's lil fiasco, okay ?
Zachary Young
You tell him 'Johnny Neptune says to call him'…
He's got my phone number. I post it all the time
Ian Reyes
Tell Jim I'll buy him some donuts if he calls me
Benjamin Gonzalez
Gay Boys Infantry?
Matthew Ross
Georgia Bureau of Investigation
a branch of the FBI
Jordan Robinson
but it's important to note:
I didn't just
indiscriminately
'narc' on people
not at all
that's not what
I was doing
Dylan Price
Wow! You are so cool. I wish I could be like you, but I have several hundred thousand IPs in 278 different countries, and I cycle through about 200 of them a day. A different IP for every post. I wouldn't even know if I ever got banned!
Gavin Wright
I knew ALL kinds of
'criminals', depending
on your particular
concept of a criminal is
I only got involved when
it had to be done……..
when SOMEBODY had to
put an end to what these
particular people were doing
Christian Green
that's very sweet of you
thank you
I'll give you an autograph later
Jace Sanchez
these were people
who had crossed the line
there is honor
amongst thieves
but these were all
individuals who were
destroying people's lives
preying on the vulnerable
Sebastian Murphy
here you go
now get lost
Julian Williams
for example: he's dead now
so I can Mention
Harold 'Bit' Thrower
Nicholas Peterson
Speaking of bribing cops with donuts:
check out this chick
she paints her own face
this is all done
with just common
makeup
you'll see——
Her name's Mimi Choy
Luis Parker
Cameron Parker
Nathaniel Martin