U.S. Invaded By Blood-Sucking Ticks That Spawn Without Mating


State and federal officials are warning of a vicious species of tick that is rapidly invading the US. A full-scale invasion is taking place along the Eastern Seaboard of a tick from Eastern Asia. The species of tick is known to transmit a whole host of nasty diseases to humans including a deadly virus that kills up to a third of its victims. The Asian longhorned tick, also known as Haemaphysalis longicornis, has not been found to be carrying any diseases in the U.S. yet.

The Asian longhorned tick is a huge threat to livestock, pets, and wild animal populations since it is capable of attacking en masse. The invasive tick can drain young animals of blood so quickly that they die, a form of death called exsanguination. The secret to how the tick's populations explode lies in its ability to reproduce without mating.

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I believe this is also known as a Jew

Just don't walk under trees or in tall grass and you should be fine.

Trust Me…..

It's painfully obvious that these blood sucking parasites never actually have intercourse

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I'd imagine that it's a 'safe' feeling to have a guy like him around, since he's not particularly attracted to females

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Diana, I like you….

I really do. You're the only one there who's smart, other than Jim

Tell Jim that I want to talk with him

I want to work things out
Where everyone is happy

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I've got a few REALLY, REALLY good ideas on how to market the Goldwater and bring in some extra revenue…..

The 'Murica' cups is a TERRIBLE idea. there are several hundred vendors selling 'Murica' cups.

My ideas are forward thinking, and selectively targeted at the demographic you want to attract.

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There's no way that I'm the first person to ever tell you that you remind them of a black man, right?

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