Ahem I feel proud to be the first to post this The Czech was in the male
Aaron Parker
Timothy, how does it feel to realize you're 'working' for The LEAST Read News Organization On The Internet?
Alexander Foster
I am proud to be the 17,384th person to post this: THE GOLDWATER ONLY HIRES UNQUALIFIED AMATEURS, BECAUSE JIM WON'T PAY A REAL SALARY TO ANYONE
Gavin Gray
I heard timothy only works for Jim because Jim has photos of tims mom getting fucked by pigs. I believe this about 98%
Benjamin Clark
Timothy's just as unqualified to be a journalist as any of the other worthless pieces of shit that work for Jim. Timothy isn't even capable of remembering the character limit in the subject lines, more often than not creating incomplete headlines for his ridiculous copy and paste 'news articles', where the headline will stop mid-sentence, or in the middle of a word.
It's not surprising they would hire Timothy, considering how desperate he was to make a paycheck, no matter how small. Now, he can proudly say he works alongside Diana, who actually thinks that '3 people equal three TRIOS'.
Aiden Reyes
Are The Trios Back?
Nolan Jackson
It's not simply just a matter of Diana not being well versed in English… It would be wonderful if her stupidity was limited to just a language barrier.
But the problem runs much deeper than that.
When a fully grown adult doesn't realize what a 'trio' is, simply thinking 'it has SOMETHING to do with the number three', (but continues to use the word anyway) it becomes self-evident that adult is a lazy fool, unwilling to learn.
I'm curious, Timmy…..
What kind of laptop does Jim let you borrow here and there?
While Diana can't even complete a sentence without making a fool out of herself, Jim has loaned her a fairly decent Mac laptop.
But Philip and James have to borrow two outdated worthless piece of shit ThinkPads…….
Ironic. And I'm pretty sure you don't have a vagina (but then again we know what type of nightclubs Jim goes to in search of employees, so who knows) so I guess it's safe to assume he didn't loan you a fucking Mac laptop…
Lemme guess: Jim loaned you an old iPod?
Nope ?…. Did Jim loan you his library card?
What kind of computers does the Manila public library system use?
Jose Sanders
Scientists have recently discovered a technique that can prevent creating news headlines that get cut off mid-sentence:
It's called COUNTING
'News Headlines' are structured in sentences and statements. These sentences and statements consist of a series of sequentially chained words. Each word consists of a series of sequential chained letters.
Different words contain different numbers of letters.
Oh, hold on a minute… a NUMBER is an arithmetical value, expressed by a word, symbol, or figure, representing a particular quantity and used in counting and making calculations and for showing order in a series or for identification.
The subject line on this imageboard (the place that you typed your 'news' headline) will only allow a specific limited number of characters (letters or symbols)
Scientists have uncovered a new technique that can prevent the possibility of including too many letters or symbols in your news headlines.
COUNTING
I know this is very confusing, but I'm pretty sure you'll figure it out if you keep practicing.
I heard that Malik Obama requested $3,000 USD for his boring predictable 'interview', where he did little more than complain that his brother won't give him any money.
It appears that Malik Obama is more than just the owner of a shity appliance repair store in Nairobi, and is actually a very skilled bum, begging for money from anybody he thinks he can target.
I also heard that Jim approved $3,500 USD, but sassy pants 'Major' Elmer Fuddface lied to Malik Obama, told him that Jim only approved $2,000, created a fake contract, forged Malik Obama's signature, showed the fake contract to Jim, took the $3,500 USD, pocketed $1,500, and only paid Malik Obama a measly $2,000…….
That's some fucked up shit !!!…….
You know accompany is a sham when its employees need to lie and steal and forge documentation in order to afford to eat.
I also heard that Malik Obama spoke to Jim Watkins behind Elmer Fudd's back, found out about the scam, and managed to force Elmer Fudd into paying him the full $3,500….
Thank God at least somebody at that company is honest.
Elijah Rodriguez
They don't even have computers at the main branch of the Manila public library?
Which chair is your office? Do you have to bring Jim's iPod just to do your job?
You should ask Jim to get you an upgrade, and find one of these HP TouchPads online.
Hewlett-Packard pulled this product 45 days after releasing it, and they are available online for $15. Absolutely one of the worst tablets ever produced, yet still perfectly adapted for your needs.
Maybe if you used this snazzy Casio wristwatch to create your threads, you could use it's calculator function to figure out how many characters you can enter into the subject field next time you're creating a 'headline'…
You could help pitch the idea to Jim by reminding him that people will actually PAY YOU to take these wristwatches off their hands.
poor fucking lions got killed due to some dumbfuck gopnik. pretty shit
Aiden Mitchell
sorry for being a dumbass, been away for some time, what's the deal with OP and his tripfag name and what is he doing differently that please report me wasn't already doing.
Jeremiah Gonzalez
hello my name is Abon'go Malik Obama, and my brother is former United States President Barack Obama. I am available for interviews, and because I'm very resentful that my brother has money but won't send me any, I am willing to bad-mouth my brother for $3,000 USD.
Jackson Ramirez
Should have been tranquilised and air-dropped into Detroit.
Jackson Wood
No shit. These days it's less populated than the African Serengeti.
