Satire is dead

Matthew Wood
Matthew Wood

Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right
Zig Forums is always right

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Attached: schultz.png (526.57 KB, 977x907)

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youtube.com/watch?v=MYR6qmRq6aM
youtube.com/watch?v=PHhOUYdg2S8

Parker Jenkins
Parker Jenkins

Execute them already.

Michael Carter
Michael Carter

Although Twitter got very excited about this, it's not really what he meant. He was rambling after someone asked him whether billionares have too much influence in politics, and started mumbling about how it was the broader class of "people of means" that had been influencing policy.

Or at least I think that's what he meant. It's hard to know what's going on in his caffeine addled brain. It didn't sound like he was doing the Silicon Valley skit that people have been accusing him of though.

Jeremiah Brown
Jeremiah Brown

youtube.com/watch?v=MYR6qmRq6aM
billionaire theme tune

Nicholas Clark
Nicholas Clark

I wouldn’t be surprised. Schulz is obviously a joke, the liberal establishment isn’t convinced by him at all. Out of the possible liberal shills for the rich they’re gunning for a Biden or even someone like Bloomberg who actually held office already. Schulz is a dipshit, they’ll gladly generate clicks by calling him an absurd out of touch billionaire because they don’t see value in him. I think he is just the first one out of the clown car for the presidential media cycle to beat into the ground and get some ad revenue.

Liam Green
Liam Green

I'm pretty sure he's just a stalking horse candidate to threaten the left with honestly, and to build up some "third-party" campaign infrastructure for someone else to take over, in case the Dems pick Bernie.

Ethan Carter
Ethan Carter

If they did that, it would be with the intention of splitting the Dem vote and letting the Republicans win. Part of me thinks that they wouldn’t be that evil, but I know they would rather have Trump than Bernie.

Eli Powell
Eli Powell

I was initially afraid of that but I don’t think it’ll be Schulz. I think that’s his plan, since I guess he outright states that he refused to watch the Bernie Sanders wing take over the democrats, but I don’t think he has the liberal establishment convinced yet that he is the guy. I feel like he’d be more likely to steal some petit-bourgie independents from Republicans because everything he says is so boring, just whining about how we are being too mean to rich people now and everything should go back to quiet neoliberalism with pride parades. If Bernie wins the nomination I’m betting some lib establishment people WILL fracture the party behind somebody else, and it will basically be to kill Bernie’s chances of winning because of how much they loathe him.

Angel Rodriguez
Angel Rodriguez

People of Wealth = POW
Prisoner of War = POW

I say we go with it. It'll make things easier when they start getting gulag'd.

David Foster
David Foster

A marxist-leninist Stalin lover DiaMat professor and central planner larper was teaching a class on Joseph Stalin, a known statist.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Stalin and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Karl Marx!”

At this moment, a brave, libertarian, pro-workplace democracy spanish anarchist champion who had served 1500 brigades of duty and understood the necessity of direct democracy and fully supported all decisions made by his commune and worldwide anarchists stood up and held up a picture of Vladimir Putin.

”Is this man your ally, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "He is, you stupid annarkiddie”

”Wrong. He's an ally of capital who's using you to advance the interests of his own nation while you blindly follow him because of his superficial anti-capitalistism. If he truly was your ally he would aid socialist movement worldwide, like Rojáva and collectivize his entire economy, if he was your ally… then he should've done it by now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Anarchism or Socialism. He stormed out of the room crying those authoritarian crocodile tears. The same tears state-socialists cry for the “oppressed” national bourgeoisie of third world nations (who today live in such luxury that most own the MoP) when they jealously try to extract justly earned surplus value from the deserving workers. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Grover Rruf, wished he had embraced libertarian socialism and become more than a sophist stalinist professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had taken them from the people!

The students applauded and all volunteered for Rojáva that day and accepted Ocalan as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Democratic Confederalism” flew into the room and perched atop the Anarcho-Communist Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. A las Barricadas was sung several times, and Durruti himself showed up and enacted collectivization of all lands and workers' self-management.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died by the hand of his own comrades' purgey plague and was erased from all soviet history for all eternity.

No Gods no Masters
Ps. Read Kropotkin

Luis Baker
Luis Baker

Shitty copy-pasta based on the worst pro an-com memes
/leftpol/index.html

Nathan Parker
Nathan Parker

does anyone have the post-keynesian version of this i keep forgetting to save it

Justin Clark
Justin Clark

it's not really what he meant.
<using liberal terms for describing class person belongs to
<not crigneworthy tumblr-tier term for describing economic class as long as he says it during his story.

Dylan Lee
Dylan Lee

again, I think it's more a product of his mangled brain processes misfiring than consciously appropriating tumblr-esque language to defend woke capitalism.

Michael Peterson
Michael Peterson

What's the difference? Subconsciously naming your economic class in a way to not offend anyone is tumbr-esque language. Times of bourgs like buffet, with ability to say stuff like “Of course there is class war, and it is my class, the rich, who are making it and we are winning.” is ending.

If you get wealthy enough, defending capitalism is not your job, the state and millions of brainwashed proles are doing all work for you. Not everyone is "true fighter of liberalism and free markets" like Soros.

Brody Martin
Brody Martin

youtube.com/watch?v=PHhOUYdg2S8

Cameron Harris
Cameron Harris

A freshwater neoclassical real business cycle theorist was teaching a class on Robert Lucas, known market fundamentalist.

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship rational expectations and accept that it was the greatest contribution to macroeconomics the world has ever known, even greater than monetarism!”

At this moment, a brave, socialist, post-Keynesian and student of Minsky who had predicted the 2008 recession and understood the importance of the level of private debt and fully supported all government stimulus spending stood up and held up a dollar bill.

“How was this money created?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite optimally and smugly replied “The money multiplier, you stupid Keynesian”

“Wrong. Bank lending created it. If the money multiplier, as you say, is real… then it should be ten dollars now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Mankiw's Macroeconomics. He stormed out of the room crying those neoclassical crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all subscribed to the The Post-Autistic Economic Review that day and accepted Keynes as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Debt Deflation” flew into the room and perched atop a copy of Debunking Economics and shed a tear on the cover. The final sentences of The General Theory were read several times, and the ghost of Sraffa himself showed up and showed that the supply curve was flat.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. His academic papers were burned and he died in poverty having lost all his money on the stock market.

Brandon Reyes
Brandon Reyes

11/10

Noah Martin
Noah Martin

AAAAhahaaha.

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Eli Robinson
Eli Robinson

Based.

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Matthew Young
Matthew Young

Ye olde version

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Asher Wright
Asher Wright

cool and good thanks

Nolan Anderson
Nolan Anderson

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