Comrades, I need serious, desperate mental help, I want to die because I’m a misogynist

I thought I was doing good, I thought I made these feelings go away, that I put all this Black Pill shit behind me, but something happened yesterday and I completely descended back into total insanity. I tried controlling these feelings by bitterly directing them just at white chicks, but I know that was a spook and my comrades are rightly disgusted with me and tell me to “get help”. But in my heart, I know that “help” for me is to end my life, my help is when I finally shoot myself or am killed fighting fash, I don’t think there’s hope for me and I’m a fucking monster. I wanna die comrades, I just have no hope, and I’m so disgusted with myself, and I need to fucking end this because I’m not disgusted with myself enough. Like, fuck, the internet has driven me insane, it made me see myself through this warped insane lens of myself and the world based on race, loneliness, and my internet activity driving me insane a long time ago.

I’m 21 now, every time I think I escaped Black Pill misogyny I eventually fall back into it, the first time I fell into it was 6 years ago when I was 15, and I know for a fact that I deserve to die.

Idk why I’m putting this here tbh, my other online space rightly despises me now, I’m sorry

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You're fucking 21 lmao, just stop hating women and have sex or something.

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I don't know about how your life was (i guess your a student?), but try finding a part time manual labour job, hell even shitty white colar jobs like programming work too. Spending more time in real life and not online will help you balance your mental health.

I thought I did stop, but then I had a breakdown yesterday that proved I just buried the feelings

Dude, im 24, non binary and I still have some ticks.

Calm down and think more before you act or talk, you're going to be fine, you're just going to have to tough this one out and listen c :

kill yourself

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use the internet less instead

Son, suck it up and do your two years of duty on the front of your choice >>>Zig Forums >>>/fascist/ >>>Zig Forums >>>/marx/ >>>/tg/ >>>Zig Forums >>>/gulag/

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Lol you’re not wrong

Posting when I was 15 ruined my life

I wish I never went to bourgeois papist school

It fucked my social development so hard

No one has 'true feelings'

You entrain impressions and responses and form an identity with the aggregate of these things. You're gonna feel like a piece of shit for a while, but it's really fine.

There's like a million and one ways you're going to move forward and you're at least self aware enough to beat out the worst 990,000 of them, take a cold shower and put some fresh clothes on.

Shit like this has always messed me up, it’s like I’m inherently ugly, looking back through history people have called blacks hideous since the time of the ancient Greeks

It’s like existing while black is a curse and always has been

It is now completely clear to me that he, as is proved by his cranial formation and his hair, descends from the Negroes who had joined Moses’ exodus from Egypt, assuming that his mother or grandmother on the paternal side had not interbred with a n—–. Now this union of Judaism and Germanism with a basic Negro substance must produce a peculiar product.


You’re 21. Your lack of experience is causing you to dramatize this unnecessarily. You realize that your past views are wrong and you recognize how easy it is to fall back into them, and that in itself is important.

There’s a reason that there are incels, and it’s not just because they’re sexless and bitter. It’s the same reasons for why men in particular can be vulnerable to reactionary ideology.

Yes, get help and work through it. If you’re anything like the people I know, your upbringing has been abusive and your childhood wasn’t great. Don’t take it so personnel, kid

That’s the worst part, I have a decent family and was a happy kid, though I was weird and isolated by my peers growing up

Then everything went to hell when I got to high school and was surrounded by rich white kids, mostly incredibly racist Italian and Irish kids

And it was an all-boys papist school so it completely stunted my social development. And the only girls I could meet were usually white girls that would never want me for obvious reasons. Things are slowly getting better and I don’t think about my past, but the scars still exist. Being a black kid, especially one that’s not athletic or hypermasculine was a hellish scenario.
keep hearing til you forget, or find someone someday.

Its not that simple

This also proves that black men are not all that attracted to white women.

all those things are consequences of capitalism or bad ideology in general.
This will sound like boomer speak but it's true. Even if you drew the shortest of sticks and you had no control over the bad shit that happened to you. You SHOULD UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE GET COMFORTABLE BLAMING YOUR PROBLEMS ON THEM. Get this right, you can be mad all you want, and be rightly indignated by the bullshit you go trough, but never ever let this stop you from trying to get better.

Youre among peers here comrade. Try to phase this manosphere black pill shit out. Its designed to stamp everyone who reads it into pieces and then sell you their snakeoil cure.

Its designed for insecure people, it tells a grand narrative of how you in particular are part of this underclass and how you will never amount to anything, and that there is this small group of ubermenschen who get all the everything, and you too can join them if you read their manosphere "flirt" books and buy their other bullshit. Its a giant web of contradictions designed to fuck you up.

Think about it, in your case, blacks are simultaniously the big scary boogeymen who fuck all the white women and get all the pussy because they have big cock, but at the same time they are undesired or something.
For white people, they are simultaniously desired by everyone yet not as masculine as other groups, and you arent part of them. Its all a giant pile of bullshit designed to brainwash you and sell you shit.

Being insecure and consuming that media, you project anything that they classify as "undesirable" onto yourself as the reason you will never be happy or accepted, how youre a lost cause, while you ignore all the good qualities you posses, thus digging you deeper into a hole.

You are not a lost cause just because you had a shit youth, its never too late to improve yourself.
You are not a lost cause just because you dont live up to whatever the idealised stereotype of masculinity is for you in your culture, take a look outside. So many many many fat, unatletic, autistic, stuttering, ugly, handicapped etc etc people have fulfilling lives with spouses.
You arent a lost cause because you missed X or Y when growing up that most people achieved, you can still get X and Y.
You arent a lost cause because you didnt have sex before you turned 16, or 20, or 25, or 30, or 50, or 90, or 120.

What is in the past is in the past. What stands before us now is to better ourselves and make the most we can of what we have, not to sit alone being depressed about how we missed arbitrary thing X and now we might as well kill ourselves cause it will never get better.

It's from a pretty narrow demographic, I wouldn't say it "proves" much of anything.

How can I escape the Black Pill shit then? I thought ML would be my way out, but an ideology can only do so much for mental issues and falling into what amounts for a cult. For years I used incel subs and I only stopped about 7 months ago, and even then I still read subs like Inceltears because I, addicted to the mental flogging.

What’s worse is that I’m slowly becoming obsessed with my race again, I got over it, but a sequence of events put it back in my mind in a bad way, and every time I read IT it’s just a bunch of white folks telling me that my own experiences never happened.

I know Incels are evil, they’re full-fledged fascists at this point, I won’t join them ever again, but I feel like the mindset is entangled inside me like thorny vines strangling my soul.

It’s so fucked, you’re right, they gave me the perfect narrative, and it completely conformed to what I experienced.

Discussion belongs in containment thread

Dont lock plz

I don’t know where that is

Plus I’m not looking to validate any incel shit, I’m looking for a way out of my mental problems

this isn't a self-help board. fuck off back to reddit.

I went full cold turkey on all internet. I highly recommend it.
You do not need your computer or your phone browser outside of work or for the strictly necessary school work.
Dont use youtube at all, it only eats up your time and feeds you more destructive shit. Dont use leftypol or leftpol, its dead anyway and the discussion is shit anyway. Moreover, this board is full of people like you and me who just confront ourselves with the memetic poison of black pill or red pill or whatever pill shit. The exposure to it itself is what makes us descend into a spiral of haunting thoughts that dig up all we had so carefully burried.
Install a website blocker for all the harmfull sites you now still use. YOU DO NOT NEED THEM. Get rid of FBI and whatever too, chances are you are in quite a few FBIs that are about anime or nerd culture and it will have incel ideology in them in some way.
What really fuck you up is spending whole days just browing youtube or leftypol or chatting on FBIs.
Message some friends, go out for a drink in a cafe or bar somewhere, hang out at their place. The best cure for these feelings is being around friends and socializing, even if its just hanging at friends drinking beers and watching stupid youtube meme videos.

The only way to deal with these feelings is to break contact with the internet entirely. Now, I am currently breaking those rules I set in place for myself as well. This is an addiction, treat it like an addiction, if youve got more balls than I do, go to a phychologist/whateveritscalled, and get actual profesional help. I am breaking my rules and ive already wasted almost 5 hours while I should be doing something important, and I feel like shit.

If you get triggered (in the actual, non-meme sense of the word) by anything and you get into a spiral of these thoughts, dont sit around with them. Shut out whatever caused those things, physically leave if thats neccecary, then distract yourself with something that requires your attention. Go for a run, play a video game on a non-internet enabled device, read a comic, learn a language. If it is late, go to sleep immediately, i find that these thoughts get worse as the night grows late, and you will feel much better in the morning again.

I have completely blocked reddit and only unblock it if i need something specific from a thread that shows up on google results. I have removed all games from my phone. I have removed FBI and youtube from my phone. I blocked the same sites on my phone as well.

Do everything you can to avoid this incel shit. If anyone you know makes fun of incel insecurities or whatever, point out to them that youre dealing with the same insecurities and working through them and that making fun of them is what creates incels. If they dont care, they are shit people and you dont need them in your life, really.

I hope this helps, I must be getting on my way, I have a big paper to write that should have started 5 hours ago. Stay strong comrade, we will get through. The fact that you distance yourself from incel shit is proof you have the will to improve your situation and fix these problems, rather than dwell in them.

Fuck off cunt.

(FBI is wordfilter for thiscord)

Ohgod what.
This is like Kryptonite.
It’s gotta be fake, right?
I’d love to take it as creative writing, but how WOULD we help someone who wanted to die because they couldn’t stand being misogynistic?
Looking for help in all the wrong places, comrade.
This place is infested with broken right-wing losers who are too disempowered to break the chains of hatred they forged on themselves.
You’d know something about that, eh OP?

It’s hard to swallow disbelief long enough to even think about what to say in actual effort to help. My intuition is telling me OP is over 50 and maybe closer to fucking 73. If you’re for real, show up as yourself before an actual professional, don’t go “comrading” with your Simpsons meme. Maybe that’s fresh new culture in Ruskieville, but it’s decrepit in the nation of its origin.

If you’re serious, maybe think of it like this (not my actual views, I’m grasping for a bridge piece here): women are wired so hard towards reproduction that antinatalism can get you marked as a misogynist in some circles, but think about what that wiring means for timesense: women are wired hard to do something that takes literally decades of loving care. That psychological trait echoes through more than aspect of their life and gives them at least one real psychological advantage that’s worth reminding yourself about.

Sorry to hear it comrade, can you get a therapist? It can help, might have to try a few different people. Hopefully your insurance covers it.

First off I would recommend taking a quiet walk through a park or something in the immediate sense, like, when you get some free time today. Don't even try to think about anything. Just walk and look at the world around you. Really look at it, study anything that happens to catch your attention. Listen and try to really get a sense of what you're hearing. Feel everything around you. Spend some time just looking at birds or other wildlife. Just calm yourself down.

Second, really do see if you can get into talk with a therapist or the like. It'l probably take a while but a good therapist can really help you out,

Last, accept that these feelings are real, that they're a part of you, and that it doesn't make you a bad person just for having feelings. This can take a lot of work and introspection. Maybe talking it out with some trustworthy friends if you can. Just because you have these very intense feelings doesn't mean they're necessarily right but they're not bad for you to have. It's irrational, but understandable feelings, and we'll still accept you for it.

Holy shit best take ever.


Fucking asshole mods again.

I luv you user.

What was it that happened yesterday that set you off?

Lmao matched with some girl I knew on tinder

Was cool to see someone I knew

Then they must’ve recognized me

So what was so terrible about that? She didn't match you? What does it matter what one girl thinks?

you will always be a nigger

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