Fudd Stories Thread

Exactly what it says on the tin. Post 'em if ya got.

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Had an old dude at the range yesterday look at my surplus Mauser and, no shit, ask me "is that an M203?"

Bruh….

Should've told him "No, it's a FAMAS."

dangerous since he may have believed me

(checked)
The worst thing is, is that you're probably right.

On another note, just found this little gem of a twatter account: https: //twitter.com/fuddlorebot?lang=en-gb

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Between this and something about a wiccan getting scared off by some Macedonian on a hiking trip, I don't got much else.

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solid addition

that's actually true if by "shockwave" you mean temporary wound cavity

Perhaps, but the fuddlore in question is referring to the pressure wave caused by the bullet as it goes through the air rather than hydrostatic shock.

On duty at coffee shop. Old guy asks "what kinda gun is that?"
Me: S&W fourty-oh-six.
EF: "Fourty-ought-six? I usta have a 30-06, kicked like a mule! I bet a fourty-ought-six pistol would break your wrist!"
Me: I bet it would. Enjoy your day sir.
EF: Better make that first shot count!
Me: I'll do my best.

Maybe speak like a human next time

I would like to hear more.

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oh damn. that is dumb. imagine a bullet so badly designed and so non-aerodynamic that it loses that much energy just flying through the air.

"Four thousand and six" sounds even worse than "Forty Oh Six" but there's really no right way to say the names of the Smiths from back in the day without sounding a little bit retarded.

lel

>>>Zig Forums zogpig

>>>Zig Forums

Indeed. I'm surprised you haven't heard this before actually, one of the most common pieces of fuddlore around .50 BMG is that it can give you burns just by passing within 6 inches of you.

The entire pistol aware world pronounces it "fourty-oh-six." The model number is 4006. No one but an autist, shitbird or woman is going to call it a "four-thousand-six.'

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I get being a lolberg but you don't need to be an impotent spastic about it.

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Cops protect the Jews and their collaborators, enforce race-mixing and gun control, and let the pedophile elite have free reign to commit whatever atrocities they desire to their kidnapped slaves. In Europe, they persecute nationalists while allowing Muslim rape gangs to torture women and children; in America, they will kill a white person over the absolute slightest perceived threat, even over hearsay ("somebody said he had a gun"- which is, of course, legal anyway). If our governments were anything but malevolent, there wouldn't be anything inherently wrong with cops, but since that is not the case, they have chosen being mercenaries of the establishment as their career. They will be loyal to the ZOG no matter what, as their personal and familial livelihood depends on paychecks granted to them for being a good goy.

All of that is cool.

...

Being contrarian is good.

You're just a goon who wants white people dead while pretending to be a neutral troll who totally isn't on (((anyones'))) side

k

Is this part of the workshop on being a proper sovereign citizen?


Believe it or not, political trolls didn't die off under the Obama years and Zig Forums is full of people that will take bait.

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Ironic faggotry is still faggotry, faggot. Kill yourself

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Police in a libertarian society have an important function. The difference is that you must have the ability to opt in/out of a society with your property in order for it to be voluntary and moral.

Or
Granted that bullet would probably sublime into plasma before it left the barrel, killing you and everyone within a few hundred metres with the small pseudo-sun that's growing out of the chamber of your weapon. But it's a cool idea.

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Sorry I'm not the admin and I think it's safe to assume 8238b6 isn't the admin either.
So not only would we not need to see that form, but you didn't even fill it out especially the part where I told you to fuck off.

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469 wasn't too bad.

That was for the two of you, bud. Don't worry, take a deep breath and remember what they taught you in special-ed. We'll get you through your first week on fullchan.

Leave.

Yeah, I get that I'm ancap myself, but that's no reason shit on every member of the current police system. No, they certainly aren't the selfless heroes that some people make them out to be (as the Florida thing shows), but most of them aren't getting off to the idea of being an "agent of the state" or whatever either. They're just guys doing their job for the most part, no more and no less.

You seem like an outsider. You have a reddit attitude of being smug about being a faggot with stupid opinions, and the goon attitude of "haha I piss off everyone for the lulz" while only targeting certain people who aren't gay like you. In fact, "first week on fullchan" is a short copypasta, I have seen this before. You're obviously not from here and everything you post is forced

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...

Actually, my problem is I keep forgetting that much of Zig Forums's userbase is drawn from Zig Forumsacks that couldn't take moot cucking the board in '14 and moving here to preserve the stick up their ass. You're starting to sound like a good example of this since you're throwing a fit over a casual observation of people taking things too seriously.

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>>>/cuckchan/
You don't belong here, reddit

Back to the Subject at Hand. There isn't a Fudd alive in the Clark County area that has ever seen a Nugget. Had 40 of them ask if it was a Mauser or an Arisaka. All off them Alleged WW2 buffs.

When I take my '03 Springfield, K98k or even my Mosin Nagant to my local range, most people (mainly fudds) ask what kind of Garand I'm shooting.

Not to mention the time (at the same range) I pretty much field stripped the bolt off of some retard's Swedish Mauser because he couldn't figure out why it was having light strikes and failure to fire. I got his bolt apart and the whole thing was caked in cosmoline and storage grime from who knows how long. Guy hadn't even taken the time to run a swab down the bore before shooting, not to mention he didn't know how to take his bolt out. Along with the best part, him not knowing how to use the safety.

oh shit this thread is a tin

Thank God not all elderly guys are fudds.

Guy's nearly 84 years old and literally carries around bags of sticky targets with 0.5 MOA groups he's shot.
Also likes regaling myself and my dumbass friends with tales of his old hobby of long distance shooting, supposedly landing 2750 yard shots out in Utah.

You're the one that can't ignore obvious baiting attempts or even use an ID filter to make up for your shortcomings, but whatever you say.


Man, you're lucky, but you have any fuddlore examples?

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Leftypol doesn’t like cops seeing them as enforcers of the bourgeoisie class order

Get out.

I've never understood these sorts

He was perhaps there for 10 minutes tops including his wait for a cold range.

Did not have the heart to say anything because damnit more people should train. SO many people buy a firearm and just stick it in the drawer for wild Jamal encounters and never use the damn thing. If hunchback Gladys can go out and chew through a few boxes of .380 so can everyone else.

All in one day. Everyone else was just old dudes popping off .357 and 44mags for hours, but overall pleasant people.

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Probably like you said:
Probably some guy who bought it for self defence and is just making sure it still works or whatever

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Fits the bill

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True, this.
Owning a gun you don't know how to use doesn't make you armed any more so than owning a guitar you don't know how to play makes you a musician.

Not surprised they exist, but I am somewhat curious as to how hunchback Gladys acquired it. I would imagine if some noguns walked into their local store and asked for a cheap revolver so as not to get Tyrone'd, the clerk would point them to whatever .38 special they have on hand and call it good. An inheritance perhaps? I'm being far too autistic about this.

My guess is well-meaning relative wanted to get her something lighter recoiling than a full-house .38 would be but wasn't bright enough to just buy her some lighter loads.

Then the muzzle energy would be equivalent, wouldn't it? Making your point moot.

This whole argument reads like "this pistol only does 5 hp damage per shot, not nearly enough to take down a thug without reloading".

Got banned from a range the other day for shooting my shotgun at the empty rifle range, nobody else there. Not on the range we were at or the two on either side. Told them we had two shotguns while we were filling out the paperwork, the girl at the desk nodded and said okay. Turned out they didn't even have a shotgun range, but every other range I'd been to was fine with you shooting shotguns at the rifle range, but required slugs at the longer distances. When we came back in they had a bunch of our shells they'd taken out of the copper gathering bin where we'd been picking up after ourselves (and other shooters who didn't clean up after themselves). Another guy had shown up at the desk and had like 12 of our empty shells sitting on the desk waiting for us. Bald fucker, looked like a meme soyboy except for the glock he had in his holster. Said "This isn't gonna happen again, right boys?" with a high pitched voice and his eyebrows raised. Nodded and left, but they texted me later I can't come back.

Not really fudd but man that pissed me off. If they didn't want us shooting shotguns there they should have said so on the several times we mentioned we had two shotguns while filling out all the paperwork and watching the 15min safety video.

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I think they gathered our empty shells after we finished with the shotguns and moved to the pistol range to shoot a little .22 RugerI brought. At any point they could have come and said something to us and we would've stopped, but instead they decided to be passive aggressive about it. Fuckers.

Then you need to better your comprehension skills. I didn't at any point complain about stopping power or criticize the choice of cartridge in any way, merely expressed puzzlement over someone that clearly had no firearms experience owning a snowflake gun as opposed to something more common.

Shit, here I was thinking Knob was bad, fuck paperwork and a video.Don't give those fucks another dime or any more brass.

It's shit like that that makes me prefer BLM land to private ranges. Range rules are retarded sometimes, some employees won't know their own rules, and something about being a range-master turns people into faggots with God complexes.

The idea that any fun that is there could lead to the government crashing down on them mostly

What kind of shitty fucking range did you go to? Also fuck passive-aggressive fuckwits like that clerk. Take a shit in their parking lot.

I got one from back when I was living at home
I learned an important lesson that day, its better to just shoot on your own property.

Do fudds exist outside of North America?

In different forms, most places don't have an entrenched firearms culture like the US though so they're much rarer among the general population (but represent a much higher number of at least legal gun owners). The majority of gun owners in the UK would probably make the average US Fudd look like a practically minded ex-Delta 3%er

What is sub FAC? Here in ontario its a firearm if its 500 fps or more.

If an air rifle has a muzzle energy in excess of 12 ft.lb is considered a firearm, and so requires a Firearms Certificate (FAC), i.e. a license. Anyone over the age of 18 can buy a sub-FAC air rifle over the counter with no checks, except in Scotland. Air pistols in excess of 6 ft.lb are banned outright.

For an easy comparison a .22lr will generally have a muzzle energy of anywhere from 40 to 150 ft.lbs depending on the ammunition and barrel lengths involved.

So, 12 ft.lb is basically another way to describe a nerf gun?

It'll break human skin (if you use pointed pellets), and cause a bit of a bruise with flatheads. The only way it would do permanent damage would be if you hit someone in the eye, or maybe the balls. The sub-FAC air rifle I was using was reliably lethal with rabbits at ranges of about 13-15ft, with a headshot. If you hit them in the body at that range they'd just run off, probably wounded but you weren't getting them back.

That doesn't seem to help with the anti-fun crowd over here though (which seems to be most of the population) they'll treat that glorified NERF gun like it was a fully automatic, 500 cal, laser guided, anti tank, babby killing salt rifle. The encounter I briefly described above lead to a visit from the local police who explained that while they understood that it was a perfectly legal air rifle (and that they know I wasn't threatening anyone and that I was authorised to shoot on that land and breaking no law) but as a formal complaint had been made they had to advise me that being 'seen in public' with it again would lead to '… complications' with my shotgun certificate and legally owned shotguns. The fucking state of firearms law over here man.

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They can potentially stop you from renewing your licence pretty easily. With UK Shotgun licences the police have to find a reason not to give it to you - and having a report on file of some squealing soccer mom accusing you of threatening her with your air-rifle allows them to do that.

Thanks for the explanaition. You have my deepest, most sincere sympathy, lad.

So I presume, the gun licences in the UK work basically like this: they are periodical, apply only to limited categories of firearms, and are a privilage that are given. Say, you can only own three types of firearms, each category requiring its own licence, and you have to pass through all kinds of legal hurdles and red tape to get them, and they need to be renewed every n years or so. My question is: Do you need individual licences for each firearm you own, or only one for each category? Also, do you need individual licences, one for purchasing, and another one for carrying (as in from home to range) the guns? I presume it goes without saying that hunting with firearms needs its own licence.

tl;dr: *INCOHERENT, ENRAGED, SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
Apologies for the wall of text, but you did ask …

There are two categories of licence, I forget their legal names because everyone (including police, politicians, lawyers etc) just calls them the Shotgun Licence and the Firearms Certificate. Both last for 5 years before you need to renew them. A shotgun licence allows you to own, shoot (on your land or with permission of the landowner/range owner) a shotgun, Firearms Certificates do the same for rifles. Both of these have very strict legal limits on barrel length, overall length, capacity of the internal magazine and action - semi auto is only allowed for shotguns (with a maximum capacity of two in the mag and one in the chamber) and .22 rifles; everything else needs to have a manual action.

As far as I am aware there is no limit to the number of shotguns or firearms you can hold with a single licence, but you do have to register every individual weapon with the police (which is usually done during the purchase). When you apply for one of these licences there is a lengthy background check, including criminal and medical history/NHS record and interviews with you your family etc, and the police will come to inspect your home and the legally mandated gunsafe/s (bolted to a loadbearing wall) and the separate ammunition safe in a different room. You agree to inform the police the moment any of your circumstances change, and you give them the right to inspect your storage (and by extension your home) at any time; there are a few stories of anti-gun constabularies using this to harass legal gun owners in the UK, but nothing that's stood up in court so far. For the Shotgun Licence the police must find a reason to deny your application, for a Firearms Certificate you must demonstrate a legitimate need for the certificate to be granted.

For carrying weapons, from your home to the range, they must be disassembled and out of sight - usually a case or slip is enough, but some police get worried if they see you with one. For hunting you just need to either own the land or have the landowners permission (there are a number of the old lords who keep their bank accounts full by selling hunting tickets), with the exception of hunting deer. For those you need to hold one of the two levels of Deer Shooting Certificates or the Deer Management Certificate. The Deer Management Cert is also the only legal way to own a handgun in the UK - you can apply for licence to own a revolver for humane dispatch, but that is entirely within the gift of your local police, even if they award it they'll probably fill in 5 of the 6 chambers and track every bullet you buy for it, and there was a case a few years ago where a local Chief of Police told a professional Deer Stalker - who had been managing the deer in one estate since his early teenage years - that he should use a hammer for humane dispatch instead of a pistol (I only wish I was joking there). Oh, and there is absolutely no legal way for you to hunt (or even harm) a swan, as they are all legally the property of the Royal Family, also not joking there.

Despite all this bullshit most people here, particularly city dwellers and other scum, assume that all guns everywhere in the UK are 100% illegal; and they may well phone the police in a panic if they see someone with a gun or air-rifle when they come out at the weekends to ruin the countryside with their presence.

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God damn man that is worst than Canada.

Does it help you see why so many of the Britloks here are snarky, condescending, and angry, bastards sometimes? Also, don't worry, I'm sure that Castro's son has something similarly nightmarish planned for you.

As far as I know his current plans are "limited" to
>1) Establish a registry of all firearms transactions and transfers, which is totally not the same as the recently-abolished long-gun registry, we promise; and
I think the Bill they're pushing also tries to mess with the Authorization to Transport, which grants you permission to transport a restricted firearm from your home to the range and back again.
Keep in mind for 2) that there have been cases where the RCMP have declared a rifle prohibited that was literally identical to its unrestricted base variant with the sole exception of a maple leaf and "Molon Labe" engraved on the stock.

A year or two ago there was a bill introduced by some redskin cunt that tried to make all firearms restricted by default and only reclassified as unrestricted on a by-name basis, make it so only shotguns and .22s (which she described as the only guns useful for hunting, which she in turn claimed was the only legitimate use for guns) were eligible to be reclassified as unrestricted, and ban (or just severely restrict, don't remember specifically) storing restricted firearms at home in favour of regulated storage facilities.
Fortunately, even with a Liberal majority parliament that bill still ended up dying.

God fuck, someone throw that shitbag out of a heli already. If it gets too bad ya can come down to Montana.

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What range was this? This sounds like a range near me, bald fuck and all.

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Wait, has there been some new study linking Townies to the spread of TB, like Badgers? Granted the risk of interspecies contamination is slim with Badgers (mostly due to their nocturnal and reclusive habits) but that's, arguably, one of the reasons that they're culled rather than exterminated. That wouldn't apply to Townies though, they'd be a much greater risk of infection. I always said they were dirty bastards.

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Witnessed!


GAS THE BADGERS

BURROW WAR NOW!

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Can you formally pledge allegiance to their liege or something for extra LARPoints?

I guess. Best of luck finding one who actually wants you to do that though. Most of the older generation are still upset that they have no powers anymore, and are trying to keep their estates in one piece while hoping that their sons won't lose everything in the first year.

Imagine being that stupid.

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Are there left any lords WORTHY of pledging your life to?

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those are some huge badgers

No, it's worse; they think any gun with a traditional stock and wooden furniture is a Garand. I could imagine confusing a few bolt-action rifles with one another, but it doesn't even have the same action…?

Could be worse.
I recently had some mistake a M1917 (torn apart on the bench, granted) for a M1 Carbine.


Good on you, Strelok.

Not sure if this counts.

>Various comments I get are "How did you get that, isn't that illegal?", "That seems pretty high powered, won't you get in trouble?" I held back the sperg that wanted to say IT SHOOTS THE SAME ROUND AS YOUR RIFLE HOW IS IT "HIGH POWERED" FFS
Fuck casuals and FUCK CASUALS.

If your life or the act of pledging it mean anything to you then … not really. The nobility have been going downhill for a long time, removing the hereditary peers from our upper house was just the last blow on the coffin nail. If some lord tried to pull rank today, in British society and outside the walls of his incredibly well insulated London club, then he'd probably be told to fuck off. In a generation or two not even their descendants will care about it.


That sounds beautiful, got pics?

I can only get pics of the boulder next time I am there, I heard the story from the ROs

Ben, is that you?

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The Eurasian badger is actually bigger than the honey badger and that fucker can fight off lions.

threadly reminder that wolverines are badger's big brother.

Weasels are the smaller ones. Their attitude isn't better they just know not to fight head on, so they're sneaky so-and-so's.

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