How do you forgive yourself?

I'm going to make a thread for this instead of putting it in the QTDDTOT since I know that there are many suffering people on this board who must come to terms with not only the circumstances which cause their suffering, but must come to terms with themselves in order to find peace with God, so I hope that the answers that my brothers post here will also serve to help others.

For many years, I've been struggling with overwhelming turmoil which has ripped me from a strong relationship with our father. I've been struggling for a long time to figure out exactly what it was that was tearing me down, of all my myriad of problems, I knew I dealt with guilt on a daily basis, knowing deep down I knew I was already forgiven, but it never occurred to me that it was not my guilt that was eating me alive, but instead, my ability to forgive myself. I now know that this is what God wants me to do. God has rarely spoken to me, but when he does, he either sends someone with a message, or speaks to my heart in a profound way. Two years ago, I was sitting in the pews before the service, and a man approached me and sat next to me and handed me pic related. He said: "This is a genuine police handcuff key, I want you to take this and that God wants you to know that you are forgiven." I've kept it ever since and have always kept up with it, reminding me of this. For the next two years, I continued with this burden of guilt which hung over me constantly, I felt lost and conflicted wanting to simply give up. I'd endured for so many years knowing that others would have given up, but two months ago, God spoke to me once more and it has been on the front of my mind since. I knelt at the alter and prayed to God "What is it you want me to do? What do you want from me?" And he said to me "Because you won't forgive yourself, you place yourself higher than Christ." I still struggle with coming to terms with what Christ has already done for me, but still I keep comparing myself to him in a way which didn't occur to me at the time, by putting myself on a higher pedestal than his by acting as my own judge, declaring myself guilty when he's already declared that I wasn't.

I share this because I believe it's the key to what many may experience, but the one thing standing in my way is myself, and I just don't know what to do. I sin daily, my thoughts, words and choices constantly displease him. How can I live with such a thing knowing they're wrong but unable to stop doing them because I believe I can't? And thus, I continue to live in guilt, unable to forgive myself. Do you see my dilemma? How do I forgive myself Zig Forums?

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what did you do? be specific

falling back into bad habits, like smoking, drinking and masturbating and shit like that, for the most part, my worse vice is the attitude I carry around which dictates my decisions on a day to day basis whether they benefit me or not. They aren't "big" things per sae, I didn't do anything like kill someone or sell heroin to kids and now I have a guilty conscience, it's more like habits I have which I know are ultimately wrong and hinder my walk with God and can't repent of because I know I'll keep doing them. The reason I keep doing them isn't because I don't care, but because of where I feel I am with God makes him feel so distant and out of reach. It creates a hopeless cycle of sin that seems impossible to break because I feel trapped between desire and kicking my ass for giving into my desires. There's something crucial missing in my walk that's making me so hard on myself.

first you should strive towards God, the morality stuff will take care of itself once you get woke to what is going on, who you are and what this life is all about.
Some people try to "fake it till they make it" i.e they try to act moral and say the right stuff, hoping this will bring them closer to God or prove to themselves that they are 'saved' and have authentic faith, this is backwards.
First seek God, seek the truth and it will set you free, not by your own power, but by itself.

Thanks

You aren't alone there my brother

A question I keep asking myself…I suppose we should pray and slowly start to see ourselves as "good but deeply flawed, thus falling all the time" rather than "a scumbag who is only good fro nothing, who always disappoints God and keeps on giving into his lowest desires". We should not make excuses for ourselves…but neither should we bash who we are: we are here because God loved us before time and space even existed, and He offered His life on a cross to give us the chance to enter His kingdom.

Realize it's not your fault, if you had known the results of these empty sins before you started them, you wouldn't have started them. You were trapped in them by the god of this world, who captures your mind and makes you see pleasure where there is only death. Meditate on this until it permanently changes how you view all things, and then self-forgiveness and self-endurance is eternally possible.

The sin is not you, the sin is of the devil. The spirit in you rejoices in the Lord, but the flesh is weak. The evil thoughts, words, and deeds, are nothing by an empty death snare, leading you and your whole body and soul into the fire. Realize this and you'll forgive yourself, forgive others, and draw eternally closer to God.

Joy, Peace, and Love are the three emotions and states that God gives, Joy, Peace, and Love is what your soul desires and wants (though the devil bastardizes this and gives us all the opposites and defects). Joy, Peace, and Love is yours, anything else is not of you and not of God.

I'm currently somewhat in the same state, but by thinking on this and seeing how deep the devil has me, the sins are falling away, and my new self is going straight for the Father. Just keep realizing it.

I feel less alone knowing I'm not the only one in this place that I'm in and that there's a way out. Thank you.

You're an egotist mate, instead of doing God's work you obsess with yourself. Seek repentance for that, the other minor stumblings you will never fully remedy just make sure to get yourself up real quick and carry on with your duty.
When Jesus talked about fake Christs in the end times he probably meant this "Christianity" of self-improvement. God doesn't care if you get rid of your bad habits, a man who fornicates regularly and repents but kills loads of muslims is a billion times more justified than someone who merely avoids venial sins. Did Jesus give power to the apostles to go out and cure disease and preach the word, or to sit at home and think no impure thoughts?

The kingdom of God is within you only when you help others, even monks dedicate themselves to handicraft. Shame on the pseudo-Christians here giving you bogus advice.

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What did he mean by this?

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you read right you satanic egalitarian

So you’re saying I’m a fake Christian… I see. Glad I spent my last years trying to better myself to get closer to Him for nothing, according to you.
I was a masochist, I was in homosexual relationships and I even got raped; I was a mesarsbleess, and I still am: if I want to be better now is to honour God even with the little which is my life.
What you wrote is not wrong, I agree we should focus on God and stray from “feel good Christianity”, yet you make it sound like you alone know what is going on in OP’s heart…emotions and feelings should never drive us, but they are part of us and thus at times we need to recollect and have a “reorientation” to go towards God in a better way.
I could have stayed a masochist and an homosexual, faking to myself and others that everything was fine…but I decided to change for God, and Him alone; but to do so, I also had to learn to forgive myself and respect/tolerate who I am, even with my flaws (which I am trying to fix with work and prayer and asking Cod to help me as only He can and knows)… was OP a tad self-centred? Probably yes, but we are almost all at least a bit selfish and egotistic without even realizing: we are fallen creatures, and that’s why we need God, and at times we can ask God to comfort us…I’m 27 and I’m not shy to imagine myself back in the arms of my mother and father as a child, what is wrong with wanting the same with God? And at times to get there we need to go through a part of ourselves. The real issue is when we focus exclusively on that “self”.

Crusade fankids please go away.

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So being confused about your strident claims about being people justified, and your claims that the other posters on this board are pseudo-Christians, makes me a satanic egalitarian? You sound incredibly self-righteous.

God loves you and forgives your flaws and sins, accept this simple fact and move on. Not only that, but you must forsake your identity and past:

We have lost billions of souls and counting due to the complacency of fake Christians of all kinds. It is a sin as bad as blasphemy, for it loves neither God nor neighbor.

No, I just believe the Bible.

You are not alone, brother. There are times when I think I have found Him, but then I realise that I know nothing at all and I am totally lost. I miss the time when I was filled with zeal, but then I am once again lost in this ephemeral world.

No, read it again.

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This is the hardest thing for me: accepting the reality that God forgave and forgives me. This self-hatred is why I stirred away from Him for so long…now, after many hardships and difficult years, I’m slowly coming back to Him.
I am (for good and bad) an emotional person; this makes it easy for me to empathise with others, but also quite naive. This led me to get hurt and, not wanting to hate others, I blamed myself and this slowly turned into this ravenous hatred.

Forgive me in advance if I speak presumptuously, but perhaps you're having a hard time believing that you are truly saved because you don't believe you are as Christ-like or as perfect as you would think yourself to be.

In the Book of Romans, St. Paul laments about being trapped in our Earthly bodies which is a vessel for sin, but we also have the Holy Spirit which gives us True Life. As long as we are alive and God blesses us each and every day for giving us life, then we are trapped in this Earthly vessel and it is an unfortunate fact that sin is inevitable.

We require true repentance from our heart however. Remember God repeatedly says in the Bible that He looks at the Heart, not on the outside. That's why God picked His servant David to be His appointed King. And that's why God rebukes the religious hypocrites for their outward showcasing, instead of truly loving God from their hearts (Isaiah 29:13).

So if you have this down, if your heart is truly set on seeking and following God, then that's all God requires of you. You need to try your best, but God knows you have faults, it doesn't matter because God will forgive every and any sin (except for two).

Regarding sanctification, yes we are to become more and more Christlike. I hold the same belief as the Eastern Orthodox do regarding this topic of salvation in that we don't believe there is a particular event where we are "saved," but that it is a process that extends into eternity even after we pass away from this Earth. The difference between God and Satan is that, when Satan possess you, he takes over you and dominates you. On the other hand, God joins with your spirit and you voluntarily come into agreement with Him. That is why the books of the Bible have difference styles, but yet have a unified message. The style of Jeremiah is different from the style of Ezekiel, but the Holy Spirit still spoke through to get you the Word that you have today in your hands.

I guess for all the faults that we have, we need to repent, but try and channel some of our characteristics and traits to serve God the best we can. Hope this helps.