Hey Zig Forums, been lurking here for a few, decided to actually post something now.
I was raised by a single mom who is apart of the Jehovah's Witnesses. It's really been my entire life tbh. I never really had fun as a kid since we couldn't do holidays and life eventually came to be only about knocking on doors and studying the Bible.
I was taught that we were the only actual Christians and that every other group who claimed to be Christians were actually Pagans in disguise who appropriated some Christian beliefs and mixed it with Paganism. I was told that only Jehovah God loved us and that he hated everyone else. I remember one time at a Kingdom Hall meeting, when I was just a little kid, one of the Elders during a Bible discourse had brought in a small wooden cross and told everyone that it was an idolatrous symbol and then he broke it in half and began preaching from the Bible against the cross.
It was really tiring for my mom. All she did was work, then immediately after go knock on doors to evangelize people. No breaks are allowed, not even when you're sick. I got sucked into it too more fully once I was baptized at age 12. Even my school life was really affected because I was so focused on the Jehovah's Witnesses and I almost didn't graduate high school.
Now I'm here, still really active in the organization. I've been looking into other forms of Christianity though and even other religions and I've been feeling a pull towards mainstream Christianity more than anything. My life just feels so under control right now and I don't think I can do this anymore. But if I leave I will be severely excommunicated and my mother and siblings and all my friends will shun me. My family will literally hate me and all my old friends will hate me. I will never have contact with them again since I will be disfellowshipped. My mom will kick me out of the house and the job I'm working is really shit and I will become homeless. What do I do? Please, I'm seeking answers here guys.
I do also have some questions about mainstream Christianity too if you guys wouldn't mind answering.