I'll try to be as brief as I can, but here's where I'm at. Hopefully one of y'all can help me out.
I grew up in an extremely Baptist home, church hopping from fundie to charismatic to borderline cult to fundie again, before finally growing up and looking elsewhere. I realized that the people of God were not meant to be individualists, and the Baptist model of things has no root in Scripture or church history. That and baptism is for babies too.
So I try going to a presbyterian church. PCA of course, I'm no hippie. Well the congregation was made up of rejects from other Baptist churches and they couldn't find a pastor, so I left there because it too was shaky and uncertain. Been attending a CRC church for about nine months now, and the pastor is a scholar, a lover of God and of His people, and a genuine shepherd of his flock. Total brodie too. I love this man.
However, I still have issue with the low-churchness of everything…the pastor's hands are tied with the big decisions of course, but he doesn't even wear a Geneva gown or use the hymnal, and we have deaconesses. This combined with the fact that Protestant churches in general, even the most theological ones, really don't talk about church history prior to 1517, except to give context for the 95 theses.
On top of all the uncertainty and whimsy of Protestantism I've noticed, there remains the fact that the Eastern Orthodox church tangibly traces its history directly to the Apostles, and there is, at least to my observation, the least corruption of church officials overall in Orthodoxy.
I don't know what to do anymore, because my whole family would turn against me if I begome, I love my pastor at the CRC, and I have nothing in Sacred Scripture nor evident reason to convince me of anything other than justification by faith alone.
I need to figure this out soon though, cause my son is due to be born in a couple months and I need to know where he's gonna be baptized.