Post battles that were almost impressively fucked. Starting off with a personal favorite of mine, the Battle of the Crater.
en.wikipedia.org
Clusterfuck battles
Dominic Lewis
Luis Long
The Kerensky offensive
>establish provisional government led by non-commies on the surface at least ostensibly to negotiate an end to the war with the German Empire
Is the Kerensky offensive the most retarded military operation ever conducted by an European power?
It's as if the guys in charge confused the slavic peasant soldiers under their command for asian bugpeople.
Kevin Wright
Well it wasn't much of a battle, as it was more of a operational level retardness taking place.
So, winter war starts. And we have no anti-tank weapons. And we are not getting anti-tank weapons through official channels because of finnish organizational incompetence. However, it turns out there was atleast this one guy living in finland that was not particularly happy about sitting his thumb up in his ass. Because of that trait, he was rich due to businesses he had established. I can't remember guys name though.
Blake Collins
Battle of Taierzhuang is one of massive incompitence on both sides.
Blake Russell
Well, the black soldiers were actually briefed and trained for it. They were to go around the crater. Fearing political backlash, they put them in the back, and the guy that took over didn't bother telling his men what was going to go down. So the attack was delayed, giving enough time for the Confederate troops to recover, and they charged right into the hole, which was were the second wave was supposed to go, once the first wave established security in front of the crater. Honestly, if there's a lesson to be learned, it's that bad leadership can fuck you up more than the enemy all on his own.
Liam Sanchez
Can't have a clusterfuck compilation without this.
Landon Young
Was the late Russian Empire the China of Europe?
Benjamin Jenkins
Didnt also Finish gov buy bunch of submarines before the war instead of actually strengthening the army?
Christopher Hernandez
Your parents' divorce.
Cameron Cook
t. Russo-Germanic brainlet who hasn't ever touched a book, let alone a history book
Carter Reyes
Not a single battle but I think it needs obligatory mention.
The battles of the Isonzo.
Jeremiah Fisher
I LOL'D
Wyatt Johnson
Elijah Nelson
Battle of Sedan.
Jace Campbell
But I thought the French formed a new government and kept fighting and losing until January 1871?
Liam Garcia
Nobody has ever accused Russia of having a good navy.
Russia can ground invade everyone that matters, why the fuck would they bother with budgeting money for ships? When it's at his best they're an area denial navy.
The idea that they would send their ships halfway across the globe arriving completely exhausted to fight off a maritime nation right next door is pure insanity and the Russian admiralty knew full well it was.
But when the Czar say "jump" officers the only response the officers can utter is "how high?"
Also the idea wasn't actually Russian but the brainchild of everyone favorite sperg, the original Krautist, Wilhelm II.
Oliver Bennett
The current government stopped existing with it's surrender, and immediately the French third republic took over.
They didn't last long though, it was more a symbolic war at that point. The majority of their army had been captured.
Ryan Long
Was there anything he didn't fuck up?
Leo Diaz
Battle of Sudoměř
and another one, battle of Domažlice:
Jacob Taylor
Can't have a thread about great military blunders without mentioning the Turks.
Nolan White
Charles Davis
If anyone is willing to write about Jutland please do. Cause I can't into naval combat.
wont be much use after the US balkanizes
Nicholas Gomez
The Greeks invented the roach motel.
Zachary Gomez
Gabriel Miller
IT KEEPS HAPPENING!
Justin Baker
How has this not been posted yet?
en.wikipedia.org
Chase Thompson
Is it possible that the Chinese really are the worst people on Earth?
Caleb Peterson
An administrative member of my research group had previously been in a job that required dealing with the Chinese, and when she describes her experiences with the country it is with unconcealed disgust, and she is not willing to ever work there again.
This is an employee is a Canadian university, in an admin and PR role, and a woman to boot. If that description doesn't scream "multiculturalist leftist" I don't know what does; yet she was STILL openly contemptuous of the Chinese lack of ethics, and described that people as wholly alien to and appallingly incompatible with fundamental Western morality. She had reached the point where she even opposed the idea of cooperation between our government or universities and theirs in our research field, because she had no faith in the Chinese being able to do it with even the most basic standards or integrity.
They are truly a repulsive people, and even those who usually can't recognize such things are, upon dealing with them, forced to admit it.
William Young
Yes, I think Finns and Estonians had total of 7 submarines. Personally, I think the idea behind those submarines might have been slightly flawed due to geographical reasons, but what do I know.
Tyler Roberts
Does the same apply to the Taiwanese?
Dylan Reyes
Indeed, the distance between Helsinki and Tallinn is ~80km. but it goes down to ~45km between Porkkala and Naissaar. Even with 1930s technology you'd just have to put a few batteries of heavy guns on those two places, and then mine the waters between them to trap the Russian fleet inside the Gulf of Finland. They could still try to land on the coast line elsewhere, but that's why Finland always had an obscene amount of coastal artillery. Of course, it doesn't work if Estonia is part of the USSR.
Lucas Edwards
Based, this is how real commander should act
Sebastian Perez
What isn't based is how he had his soldiers kill and eat every other living person in the city, with the exception of 400 lucky survivors.
Isaiah Collins
Well he did managed to ensure strategic victory this way so id say it was worth it
Joshua Green
Taiwanese are repulsive in a different way. Literally every single Taiwanese grill that isn't ugly (by their standards) worked as an escort slut, or a "waitress" officially. You see, there's a whole bunch of "KTV bars" in Taiwan but no one goes there for singing. Their KTV escort sluts are called 陪女. When a girl turns 18 headhunters find her and offer "job" that brings 10 times more money than she could get in a normal way. So being a 陪女 is considered A-ok in Taiwan. Nation of depressed cucks killing themselves with work only to get an expensive laid and marry a literal whore afterwards - that's what lolberturdians want for the West as well.
Anthony Green
Is there a single country besides glorious Nippon of course in Asia that isn't a figurative nor literal shithole?
Hitler should've incorporated China into Generalplan Ost.
Juan Cruz
I can't think of a single country on the planet that isn't a shithole lad.
Asher Sanders
Not even San Marino?
Carter Thompson
Say that to my face fucker not online and we'll see what happens.
Blake Garcia
Full of Jews and Italians, their economy is like 60% banks.
I heard your cities are shit and filled with wogs now.
Jacob Nguyen
kill yourself retard
Cooper Hernandez
Nah, Japan would have had China and had plans to use/revive what was left of the old non-retarded nobility. Mao made sure to kill anyone with two brain cells so there could never be a resurgence of any sort of culture again that didn't depend on jewified bugmen.
Jeremiah Taylor
It's literally known as "The great fuckup"
There has never been a bigger disaster than the somme.
Liam Roberts
Then tell us all about it.
Gabriel Hall
Not going to waste my time educating burgers, ok.
Christopher Edwards
Luis White
lol pussy
Bentley Martin
In World War II, Germany built this great trench line, and then the French and British tried to attack it, but the Ottomans had the cliffs, so they had to get the Arabs to fight the Russians, and the ensuing urban engagement, fought in the mud and snow, was known as "the great fuckup" once the Bolivians acquired a nuclear device which threatened geopolitical stability, but thankfully the Americans were able to negotiate a peaceful solution. Read a book sometime, you dumb yank! Here's a picture of the German leader of the Central Entente, Kaiser Hitlerhelm I, after reading a missive about the Triple Powers attack.
Ryder Wilson
It's not that i don't want to, it's just not worth it
Ian Martin
The Russo-Japan War was goofy.
Blake Moore
If the Nips had conquered China they'd surely been busy suppressing fuckhueg commie insurgent movements 24/7 as Chinks hated Nips then and now.
If comparatively "alien" german troops on the other hand had moved in and taken over administrative duties that may not have happened as the Chinese had a much more limited history with the german people. The average rice farming peasant may have preferred the presence of a friendly german administrator hiring able-bodied men to build roads between villages with european safety standards for the good of the country instead of an evil Japanese warlord oppressor forcing innocent Chinese into 6 million years of slavery to build infrastructure for use by filthy invader nobility and military.
This sounds interesting, got any more?
Nicholas Stewart
Yes. Here is an incident from the Three Kingdoms, one of the four Chinese classics and arguably the most popular of them:
Daniel Foster
Homo denisovans must've been grossly inhuman for their 56% soycessors to be this fucked up.
Colton Foster
I happened to go to school with one of his descendants. He used to talk about that battle too.
Luis Walker
Its very noble to sacrifice ones wife to please the superior of one
Jaxson Mitchell
Cuckpole, is that you?
Jeremiah Phillips
Feel free to provide a counterargument.
Jason Reed
China would have been balkanised into warlord states (as it liked to do many times throughout history so it's not like it'd outrage anyone), with the warlords being loyal nip puppets with shit-tier armies fit only to suppress any revolt (which would be rare anyway, as the average chink rice farmer didn't give two shits about some commie ideology). Nips didn't plan to actually annex much of China - only a few key points on the coast and that was it. They inteded to puppetise china so that they could milk it for resources.
Jaxson Foster
Ironically the most noble savages are the least human ones.
Isaiah Collins
Just to reinforce your point, here is the kikepedia list of their puppet governments: en.wikipedia.org
Christopher Clark
Would there have been any difference to Nips occupying China or Nips creating 15 different extremely legitimate 100% ethnic Chinese governments who just so happen to be wholly dependent on the Japanese in military, economic and political matters?
Connor Reyes
The cuck thing to do would be to offend the important guest and not sacrifice a w*man
Justin Wilson
Oh boy.
Evan Barnes
Does anyone have the image from that thread? I remember what it was but I didn't save it at the time. It always annoys me when screencaps leave out things like that.
Landon Roberts
kek
You mean Henry Pleasants? What did he have to say about it?
I'll provide a counterargument when I'm given an argument.
Nathaniel Clark
...
Christopher Nguyen
But the defenders did manage to kill 60,000 enemy soldiers preventing the rebel army from making any further strategic gains following Suiyang's capture, proving once and for all that loyalty>morality :^)
Lucas Fisher
It did contributed to strategic victory so i see nothing wrong here
Carter Hughes
He improved it by reducing the chink population
Lincoln Walker
Not Pleasants. One of Burnside's descendants. He always joked around about it. He said never to put him in charge of anything.
Jacob Lee
There is no such thing as an "ethnic chinese". There's a gorillion various ethnicities there. If you amplified their nationalism and divided china somewhat around ethnic lines, you could paint Japan as the great liberator or something to that effect.
Jeremiah Wright
Does the battle of Monte Cassino count as a clusterfuck?
There were more laughable battles in WWII, but Monte Cassino is certainly among the most interesting ones.
Austin Howard
It's kinda funny that the german commanders name was Kesselring. Combat situations where one side is encircled are called "Kesselschlachten" in german which directly translates into cauldron-battle.
Landon Bell
Fun fact about Monte Cassino
Its kinda big in polish culture and is quite a symbol of poles fighting in ww2 because
Noah Ross
Allow me to add one to the pile.
Mason Fisher
muh empathy
lol the entirety of ww2 was a clusterfuck, LITERALLY
Nathaniel Wilson
got any of that sweet footage Sterlok?
Alexander Reed
The whole war was one massive shitshow,but this battle here is crown jewel.What the fuck where they thinking.
Joshua Rogers
Removal of kebab was the only thing on their minds at the time.
Gabriel Martinez
Boy do you all have a treat.
Oliver Roberts
JUST
Ethan Sanders
Ian Lewis
there was a much longer version of this with the whole song and clips of party life next to clips of this war. The Chechen war is in a sense the perfect icon of how fucked 90's russia was, soldiers on heroin, corrupt officers, soldiers selling equipment to the enemy and general incompetence all around. I thought the video was quite moving, but I can't find it anymore so thanks jewtube.
Jace Fisher
I'm not sure about that.
Brody Harris
Surprised nobody mentioned the eternal classic.
Bet you love to watch your wife fucked by g*psies
Bentley Ramirez
Sebastian Turner
The Lusitania was carrying tonnes of ammunition you slimy cunt.
Brody Hill
the most mind boggling thing about this is that yan faggots didnt fucking think to just fucking leave like 20 000 soldiers besieging and move along with the rest. like, fuck, they dont even need that fucking city/fortress in the first place, why the fuck have they stayed?
Lincoln Cook
OH NO NO NO
Luis Ramirez
...
Kevin Nguyen
Caleb Wright
I'll never get tired of reading that.
Jacob Flores
Jaxson Howard
Colton Sanchez
The incompetence of the Italian military borders on parody to where they could possibly be worse than Turkey's. No wonder they didn't get as much shit as Germany and Japan after the war, you can't really be blamed for war crimes when all you're armed with is pitchforks.
Austin Anderson
Military Blunders – Karansebes (1788)
The Austrian Emperor Joseph II had lived for too long in the shadow of the Prussian king, Frederick the Great, and by 1788 he was determined to achieve a great military success for himself. Although in a pitiful state of health, with a weak heart, varicose veins, and a dry, hacking cough, he decided to lead an army against the Turks in Transylvania. Driven by a desperate urge to succeed and calling himself the ‘avenger of mankind’, he declared he was going to ‘cleanse the world of a race of barbarians’.
The campaign began badly when Joseph decided, against the best local advice, to camp in a malarial area near Belgrade. In the space of six months 172,000 of his troops fell ill with the disease and 33,000 died. Joseph worked frenziedly to prepare his troops for the campaign ahead. Rarely able to keep down any food himself and drinking just a little water, he resembled a living corpse rather than a man. Then news arrived that the Turkish army, under the Grand Vizier, was moving towards him. Joseph immediately decided to take half his force and seek battle. Near the town of Karansebes he got his wish – but not quite in the way he expected.
With the Turkish army still some distance away, the Austrian columns were marching in good order, flanked by regiments of hussars. As night fell the army crossed a bridge near Karansebes, watched by a number of travelling Wallachian peasants. Apparently some of the hussars stopped to buy liquor from the pedlars. An incident occurred when some of the infantry, tired from a day of footslogging, also left their ranks to buy some, only to be driven away by the hussars. The footsoldiers, furious at the arrogant cavalrymen, fired some shots in the air and tried to frighten them by yelling ‘Turci! Turci!’ pretending they were about to be attacked. Joining in what seemed to be a bit of fun, the now drunken hussars also shouted ‘Turci!’ and let off some shots as well.
The result was startling. The rear columns of the army were still approaching the bridge and, hearing firing and shuts, they began to panic, firing at each other in the darkness. Officers rushed up and down the columns shouting ‘Halt!’ which to panic-stricken ears sounded like ‘Allah!’ To the Austrian troops it seemed that the whole Turkish army had ambushed them. The baggage handlers and transport workers at the rear of the army were seized with terror and tried to drive their wagons through the massed troops ahead, knocking soldiers in all directions and spilling many into the waters of the river. Then, with a great roar thousands of men began to stampede in the darkness.
The first the Emperor, sick and prostrate in an pen carriage, knew of what was happening was when a flood of men, horses and wagons swept his carriage off the road and threw him into the river. Bravely mounting a horse he tried to rally his troops, but by now there was no hope. Heavy fighting had broken out on both sides of the bridge, and at the rear wagons were overturned, baggage lost and dozens of cannon abandoned. Everywhere the cry went up, ‘The Turks are here; all is lost, save yourselves!’ By first light it was apparent that the Austrians had suffered a major disaster, having lost over ten thousand men killed or wounded by their own colleagues.
Kevin Hernandez
always proofread at least twice lads smh
Military Blunders - Karansebes (1788)
The Austrian Emperor Joseph II had lived for too long in the shadow of the Prussian king, Frederick the Great, and by 1788 he was determined to achieve a great military success for himself. Although in a pitiful state of health, with a weak heart, varicose veins, and a dry, hacking cough, he decided to lead an army against the Turks in Transylvania. Driven by a desperate urge to succeed and calling himself the ‘avenger of mankind’, he declared he was going to ‘cleanse the world of a race of barbarians’.
The campaign began badly when Joseph decided, against the best local advice, to camp in a malarial area near Belgrade. In the space of six months 172,000 of his troops fell ill with the disease and 33,000 died. Joseph worked frenziedly to prepare his troops for the campaign ahead. Rarely able to keep down any food himself and drinking just a little water, he resembled a living corpse rather than a man. Then news arrived that the Turkish army, under the Grand Vizier, was moving towards him. Joseph immediately decided to take half his force and seek battle. Near the town of Karansebes he got his wish – but not quite in the way he expected.
With the Turkish army still some distance away, the Austrian columns were marching in good order, flanked by regiments of hussars. As night fell the army crossed a bridge near Karansebes, watched by a number of travelling Wallachian peasants. Apparently some of the hussars stopped to buy liquor from the pedlars. An incident occurred when some of the infantry, tired from a day of footslogging, also left their ranks to buy some, only to be driven away by the hussars. The footsoldiers, furious at the arrogant cavalrymen, fired some shots in the air and tried to frighten them by yelling ‘Turci! Turci!’ pretending they were about to be attacked. Joining in what seemed to be a bit of fun, the now drunken hussars also shouted ‘Turci!’ and let off some shots as well.
The result was startling. The rear columns of the army were still approaching the bridge and, hearing firing and shots, they began to panic, firing at each other in the darkness. Officers rushed up and down the columns shouting ‘Halt!’ which to panic-stricken ears sounded like ‘Allah!’ To the Austrian troops it seemed that the whole Turkish army had ambushed them. The baggage handlers and transport workers at the rear of the army were seized with terror and tried to drive their wagons through the massed troops ahead, knocking soldiers in all directions and spilling many into the waters of the river. Then, with a great roar thousands of men began to stampede in the darkness.
The first the Emperor, sick and prostrate in an open carriage, knew of what was happening was when a flood of men, horses and wagons swept his carriage off the road and threw him into the river. Bravely mounting a horse he tried to rally his troops, but by now there was no hope. Heavy fighting had broken out on both sides of the bridge, and at the rear wagons were overturned, baggage lost and dozens of cannon abandoned. Everywhere the cry went up, ‘The Turks are here; all is lost, save yourselves!’ By first light it was apparent that the Austrians had suffered a major disaster, having lost over ten thousand men killed or wounded by their own colleagues.
Jackson Scott
Heh, what can I say? Guns and alcohol don't mix well.
Dominic Powell
The battle of Blood River
Boer victory