Anyone here feel resigned to Hellfire? I grieved the Holy Spirit and as Hebrews 6 states, I am condemned...

Anyone here feel resigned to Hellfire? I grieved the Holy Spirit and as Hebrews 6 states, I am condemned. I still try to live in accordance with The Good by practicing the Christian life. I already had the experience of condemnation after losing the Holy Spirit and while it was terrifying, I recognize the justice in it. I'm not even exaggerating, this was a sensation where I became increasingly detached from reality, my emotions, compassion and moral sense, I felt a strong energy in my groin area.. My dad had to take me to the hospital and I caught a reflection of myself and saw an extreme evil at which point I started screaming for Jesus and proselytizing to random people. But the experience was one that hell happens on the terms of the sinner as a result of his own perception of God. This is something I really wouldn't have understood otherwise. I do not pray because I don't see on what terms I can presume to do that but I nonetheless try to recognize the will of God to the extent I still can. I do feel better. Since the experience of deliverance I have been able to feel things, such as genuine love, which I have no recollection of ever experiencing before. But even these are not the complete truth, which in my pride I already foolishly turned away from. Its not that there are no second chances but if you turn away from the divine light then something ultimately prideful is revealed in your nature and then what can be done? I'm sorry.

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If you can still say "Jesus Christ is Lord" then the Holy Spirit has not been grieved for you. St. Paul says that only the Spirit allows this confession.

Found the verse, was St. Paul:

"Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit."

Is that to say I literally can't even say it in vain?

I believe so. I used to be worried and sure I was condemned to Hell and would follow the laws of Christ even to hell, but then I made an honest confession and knew I believed that Jesus Christ was Lord and my Salvation. You can not do this unless the Spirit allows you. So confess it, do you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord? If so, don't worry, pick up your cross, and continue the journey to the Kingdom.

But did you actually have the Holy Spirit? This isn't some childish thing I'm talking about. I had a period of enlightenment, of timelessness and spiritual love and I chastised my family in the name of The Lord but only in a matter of hours my mind increasingly turned to worldly things and it culminated in the experience of descent I described.

Not OP but verses like this really relieve me. I renounced the holy spirit verbally once when I was 13 after watching some faggy atheist documentary, while also never really having understood what Christianity was despite being raised by a church organist. I later returned to the faith and I've always been paranoid that my juvenile declaration would condemn me to hellfire.

OP here. Trust me when I say grievance and blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is not something that can be done on a whim.

It's not uncommon for Satan to attack us after spiritual highs. When we feel confident in our a faith our determination to remain faithful leaves our focus and we can easily fall into temptation if not watchful.

Yes, I am sure of it. I've had complete descents and complete highs. Really being a Christian until you get your footing for many years (for people I know) is like this. What you've experienced isn't going to grieve the Holy Spirit, and you can be forgiven. You are not damned. Remember that Satan is the accuser of the brethren, and would have you believe this to hinder your undying faith. Confess it, pray for some time, and get back on the path.

Then what the heck is Hebrews 6: 4-6 about? I was almost convinced it concerned the very position I find myself in. I was crestfallen when I reflected on it.

Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved

First of all, you haven't hardly tasted the heavenly gifts, and haven't hardly renounced the Lord. Taking a commentary on that verse, it confirms what I always thought of it, a full being rejection and full being hatred of God after knowing without a single doubt that it is true. Kind of like Satan rejecting the Supreme Divinity, full knowing that The Absolute is Perfect Good, in a level of intimate knowledge we can not hope to see in this life.

"But the falling away here mentioned, is an open and avowed renouncing of Christ, from enmity of heart against him, his cause, and people, by men approving in their minds the deeds of his murderers, and all this after they have received the knowledge of the truth, and tasted some of its comforts."

You haven't done this. And do note, that there are two types of negative spiritual experiences (that I know of), the kind where you are truly reprimanded by God (I've had this several times, and it is horrible, He will sting your conscience to the point where you wish to hide from yourself, men, and God, and it will last until you repent and truly never do that thing again, there are also other ways it happens) and the kind where you are being brought down by Satan. If your experience is leading you to the point where you think you're damned and have judged yourself, don't pray, and are worried and not feeling the joy of freedom in Christ, then I'd say it's the latter.

You didn't reject Christ with all your being, you sinned. Confess, repent, never do it again, and reject all thoughts that you are going to hell. You have no idea, and this whole thing to me seems like a trick of the devil to bring you this low.

Paul does not mention "blasphemy of the Holy Spirit" in Hebrews. He just says "fallen away," which sounds like a broader designation. The best interpretation is not that it is impossible to restore those who have fallen away by penance, but rather that it is impossible to restore those who have fallen away by a second baptism. Notice how he talking about leaving the beginning teaching (he uses the word "arches"), doctrine of "baptisms" and other basic teachings. He's talking about the initial catechesis and baptism of converts. So when he then says it is impossible to receive those who have fallen the same way they first entered the Church, by catechesis and baptism.

Those who fall away can return by penance. Even Paul received back the incestuous Corinthian he excommunicated.

Yes, feeling the same pretty much.

That's not what blaspheming the Holy Spirit means. You're not saved because you feel saved, conversely you're not lost because you feel lost. This is the hallmark of a soulish Christian. We are to be Spiritual and led by the Spirit. Please read the entire Bible cover-to-cover in order to understand what that verse means in context and prayerfully take that verse into consideration. Some fellow Christanons are making a good point in this thread.

Listen, when you feel sorry for the sins you did, that is the Holy Spirit working within you. You repent, and God will forgive you. Doesn't matter what type of sin (except for taking the Mark of the Beast, but that doesn't exist just yet). God is long-suffering. God will forgive any and all sins. This is not the same thing as the false doctrine of OSAS (Once Saved, Aways Saved). In fact, Hebrews 6 discredits OSAS. You can fall away from the faith, but that is your conscious decision to make, to blaspheme the Holy Spirit in that regard right up until your very end. Read the Parable of the Sower and the Seed. Some seeds fell on bad soil, while some made it to good soil and produced abundant fruit for the Kingdom of God. Pray and watch out for temptation and the wiles of the evil one.

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This seems similar to my experience except Peterson didn't experience a descent into hell.

could be why, OP. your feelings have very little to do with the Lord's decree, you are not God.

interesting set of non-sequiturs there

Many Saints experienced the grief of "losing the Spirit".
Humbleness is the answer, despair is a trap of the devil.

Having dark nights like this mean you are on the right path.
Endure and the Spirit will return in all its glory.
In the future you will look back at this moment and understand how all those prayers were listened even if now God feel so silent and distant.

You feel like you are in hell, God wants you to feel that way but not to lose hope.
Stay in hell but don't lose hope. It will make your faith so much stronger.