Why does my mom wants me to have a wife so much...

Why does my mom wants me to have a wife so much? How do I explain to her that I'm not interested in having sex with women without her thinking that I'm gay? Why can't many people believe that not everyone is either longing for sex or suitable for monastic life?

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She want grandchildren user; it's perfectly natural. I understand how it can be frustrating to deal with nagging though. Have you just tried telling her that you're totally focused on work/study/faith? At some point you'll just have to hash out the celibacy thing and pray that you can convince her that you don't have homosexual urges.

you don't have homosexual urges do you?

No homo.

So you're basically asexual (I understand if you're reluctant to use the term since it gets lumped in with the LGBTBBQ crowd now, but you know what I mean)?

Tell her the truth. That you seek a relationship with God instead of the flesh.
She'll think you're schizophrenic, because that's what the media told her to think when conflicted with religious zeal, but at least she won't take you for a sodomite.

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OP said, and I quote
and also
So what do you call someone who has no interest in having sex with women (or men) other than asexual?
If he does have desire for women but just wants to suppress it and be celibate for some reason then he shouldn't have phrased it as being not 'interested in having sex'. But he doesn't want to be a monk or anything so I think it's a fair guess that he is asexual/lacking sexual desire. But if that's not the case, OP, please clarify.

I've never really acknowledged myself as an asexual, because even though I don't masturbate or have the desire for sex, I still like women and look up porn.

Most people are meant for marriage. She probably worries that you're missing your chance. She wants you happy and in a fulfilling life. Mothers can be annoying but there's usually some truth behind their nagging. She also wants grandchildren.

You don't need to masturbate to be filled with lust. I found that one out, eventually the dopamine from viewing porn was as good as the act of climax itself. That's the nature of lust- enjoying wrongful desire for its own sake instead of actually wanting something.

You're not asexual, you need a wife to save you from the major perversion you've put on your sex drive through forced abstinence. If you didn't have a sex drive, I'd advise differently but, f@#k, you're looking up porn brother…

I'm not an incel, I have much bigger dreams to fulfill.


I know, just telling you that not masturbating or not wanting sex doesn't make me completely free of lust. I just looked up what people say about asexuality, and it seems like I am one of them because asexuality isn't a complete lack of libido. Because about 89% of self identified asexuals actually do masturbate. So that would mean I'm more asexual than them.

I suffer from ADHD so yeah I have issues with dopamine itself. It makes me feel very aggressive at times.

Well, it really won't work. I don't want to have sex, I don't like the thoughts of having sex, it won't save me from lust at all. The fact that I will die alone doesn't depress me either.

I'm working on that. I don't think priests and monks don't like women either, but they manage to protect their celibacy. I don't look up that much porn either, usually I have little desire to seek porn, but like twice or 3 times a year my libido would peak really high for a few days, and around those days my brains would all filled with filthy and chaotic thoughts. Typical ADHD symptoms, I considering of taking ritalin.

I hate this incel term. I can just imagine people calling me that for being chaste.

if you're really not gay then you should go to a doctor and get your testosterone levels checked, you sound weak, unhealthy, whiny….

I find it offensive too, but it still seems to accurately describe a lot of people these days.


I'm quite healthy actually. I work out regularly, I jog and sprint 2-4 km three to four times a week. Last week I didn't get a sleep for 2 days and only less than 4 hours in the next day without getting sick, in fact I haven't been sick all year. I'm whiny because that's just my character I guess, and people just don't seem to get me. Or maybe it's just me who don't get why the desire of marriage and having children become such a common thing.

I remember reading about a group of journalists called "The Try Guys" as they reported their testosterone results. They were all abysmally behind in testosterone however what was interesting was that even the Chinese guy who actually had moderate muscularity was also still behind in testosterone. So yes, it is possible to be both physically fit and low-T.

You should get yourself checked anyway.

because God wants you to have a wife
you are coping because you are an incel
get off the internet and PROCREATE ya dunce
man up

Quote 1 corinthians 7 to her OP. Tell her you want to do 1 corinthians 7:6-9,32-33

I strongly doubt this is true. You'd be amazed at the difference in physical libido versus what weird crap the brain has been trained to do on the internet.

If you actually had a woman around that you loved, eventually you'd become accustomed to her touch and, eventually your sexual desire would even out and normalize.

You're living in weird times. Get out and date, kiss, connect, I bet you'll start feeling natural attraction - just get married before the sex.

I've never had any desire to have sex or masturbate ever iny whole life. I don't think it's related to low test.


I don't know, being easily distracted makes me less confident about my piety. Mom doesn't see me as a very religious person, even though I feel that I think about God all the time. It's just hard for me to express it.


Im not sure, I had a gf in the past. She was pretty and cute, but I didn't really enjoy being touched by her. It did nothing to me. And its not like I enjoy straight porn either, I really don't and never did, I can't relate or self insert. Only really vanilla and realistic lesbian porn calms me down.

Key phrase. If you cannot contain (meaning, if you lust), you need to marry.

Maybe most of the population can satisfy themselves by marrying, but not me. What about gay people? They have the same issues with lust as me, a malfunctioning lust. I think all people are born with more prospensity to certain sins. It's something we need to live and cope with.

It's possible, if unlikely, that your path is just different than the average. Pray for guidance.

I think you've mistaken this board for another

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