ITT: Pretend it's Zig Forums in 1913

Katana don't need reloading.

A maxim gun only has to reload every two hundred and fifty savages.

I think you're underestimating the number of serfs he can conscript. Granted, losing that war to the Japs was about as humiliating things can get - but that was clearly due to their problems at sea. When has Russia ever been a naval power? Shift the war to an area where they can just keep shipping soldiers as fast as the trains can carry them though, and things change dramatically. Now, you and I may not find it attractive or skilled, but even with Germany and the Autrohungarians against them Russia wins that fight ten times out of ten. I mean come on! You'd need to engineer some kind of catastrophic revolution or other kind of social collapse to give the central powers a chance there!

I used the Mk.IV in South Africa back in that unpleasantness with the Dutchies down there and could not give you a single reason not to own and love one. What's your little futurist pop-gun loaded with by the way? Anyone who trusts something smaller than .455 Webley deserves everything that happens to them. Those new 'hollow point' manstopper rounds will stop a Gorilla with any hit to centre-mass.

Eh, come on, you know that all the European Royals are related now. It's one thing to send a strongly worded communique, but you don't go to war with family. Ever. We're never going to see another European war again.

Now you're just being silly. Zeppelins are clearly the vehicle for the future, there's literally no downside to them.
While you're being shaken about by those huge fan things that power it I'll be sat at the in-flight bar, sipping a nice sweet Riesling, and wondering if it's worth wandering through to the zeppelins casino to check if there's a free seat at the Baccarat table.

Boy I sure do love to have my entire economy rely on saltpeter exports.
Fully globalized economies are the future, so long as the world as a whole does well, we do well, and it'd take a cathastrophe to ruin that.

Then why did they get their asses handed to them on land as well?

You guys hear about the Federal Reserve Act going through Congress right now? I hope it helps this country!

The actual honest 1913 everyman's response to this would be

What are you talking about? No. What's that?

oh gee I really love my 99.95% white countries

Who would be the best European power to colonize the chaotic mess that is China in case the Japs or Russians don't conquer it first?
Those bug-people will scarcely be able to govern themselves given the absymal results of their "modernization" thus far.

Are we just gonna keep letting these spics bring their bullshit war over the border?
It was funny and all to watch them kill each other, but now they're crossing over raping and killing Americans.
Fucking animals, I've signed on because of it and just got out of training. Loving my Springfield, it's a really nifty gun. I just hope we don't get dragged into any future conflict in Europe. I've got family in England and Germany, and I'm not so comfortable with shooting at either of them. Besides, who the fuck knows what kind of super weapons they have now.

Ha! The Brits will have to fuck things up big time for that to happen

Bohemia ain't free. The stills of beer need to be litterd by the blood of Austrians. Franz "old stroll" Joseph the first, aka "fans hungarian wurst" is not my emperor. He is an Austrian occupant and probably absolutist as well :DD. ROMANOVS and panslavism, not federationalism and HABSBURGS, ok? Praise Masaryk.

Well, so long as you don't touch the Slovaks you'll probably get away without the Magyars having an autistic shitfit

Maybe Wilhelm wasn’t so wrong after all. I mean Bismarck’s concern was to secure peace in Europe and with the provocation of the old powers by seeking colonies, building the 20% fleet, and eclipsing both of the old ones in population size and industrial output, it would all deload in some grand war.
The first signs of the supposed coming conflict were the Morocco crisis, that ‘Made in Germany’ scandal and the call of the destruction of Carthage, aka Krautland.
Thank god it won’t happen or I may have to change my second name from Mueller to Muller.

Check out what I just picked up. Probably going to go down south and shoot some spics with it.

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Nice shooter, but .45 lacks velocity and is a bit overkill. Browning ought to opt for a smaller and faster cartridge. I think that 9x19mm round in Europe would be perfect. Just imagine a magazine fed semi-auto pistol with more than ten rounds.

It uses 7.63×25mm (.30 Mauser). But your ignorance of the fact that diameter of the bore is not the only factor to have an effect on lethality shows your simplistic spirit.
They said that about the Franco-Prussian war, and we are still celebrating every second of September. It doesn't matter how many serfs the czar can send to the battlefields. If he can't equip them and ship them faster than we can get our guns to Moscow, he will end in our camps and forced to sign a treaty. I am telling you, the future of warfare is all about speed. The fastest army will win. This is why I asked to be assigned to a cavalry unit.
I am certain the same will be true at sea. With modern guns armouor is useless anyways.
Oh, I wasn't referring to a Russo-Austrian war, or even a European war. All that would happen would be small skirmishes between Russian troops and local Austrian law enforcement, and then the Habsburgs would cede control of the area to the Czar. It's not like anyone would voluntarily go to war with Russia over the Balkans.
Besides the immense costs of production. How could anyone afford an aluminium structure that large? If there were an accident, or (god forbid) some Slavic rebels were to blow one up, thousands of tonns of this prescious material would go down. While I must admit, a Zepplin catastrophe would be far slower and more gentle than a heaver-than-air catastrophe, the immense financial damage caused would scare away most investors.
Thus I turn your insult around. Heavier-than-air vehicles will be the ones of the common man getting from position A to position B, while lighter-than-air transportation will be affordable only to the rich and royal in the foreseeable future.

Just look at the results of the Sino-Japanese war. China will get swallowed whole by the Japanese within the next decade, and while the Russian navy is still recovering from their last loss against the Japanese, the czar will not dare to engage in that area either.
It is going to end quickly, and the Japanese will turn into quite the adversary, with all the (human) resources available to them in China.
Maybe we will see a great Euro-Asiatic war after that. Surely: a good opportunity for the European empires to work together against a common enemy.

Shut up, peasant, or we will bring our Maxims to Prague.

Another friend of automatics, I see. How does the detachable magazine work out for you?

I hope the king will change his mind and appoint Karl as his successor. To hell with Franz Ferdinand and his "Trialism"-idiocy! Changing the Empires name to Austria-Hungary-Croatia? What's next? Giving Transylvania to those filthy Wallachian peasants? God, I can't wait to start my military service in the Hussar regiment and beat up those uppity Serbs for good. Indivisibiliter ac Inseparabiliter.

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If it's good enough for the US Army it's good enough for me, what would you know anything about it?

From shooting at injuns for a bit, it's been working out just fine.

I AM ANGRY
ANGRY ABOUT GERMANS

Arms shipments from Japan should've arrived by now

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We just got out of two exhausting wars,artillery shells and ammo are depleted and people are tired of fighting. I sure hope nobody does anything stupid.

Yeah, like murdering a king to be or something

Hey guys look what I just bought.

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I found this gun in my fathers collection, what should I do with it?

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Why must you hate us so?
The Kaiserreich would not be opposed to letting the Polish people form their own puppet Nation in the aftermath of some future war against the Russian Empire Alsace-Lorraine is giving us enough administrative troubles as is.

...

You guys are alright, don't stand too close to Archduke Franz Ferdinand to-morrow.

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Oh, Germany, your wide eyed futurism can be so charming. Speed is a significant factor, but war isn't going to get much quicker than it is at the moment. How would your artillery going to keep up? Are you planning to mount the howitzers on some kind of moving metal box? Even if you could manage that how are you going to move the barbed wire forwards at that kind of speed?

God, can you even imagine a world that crazy?! It would make about as much sense as us siding with the French against our German friends and cousins over some bullshit little nothing like Belgium.

Even if I accept your points about construction costs the risks involved in heavier than air flight - and the commensurate rise in insurance costs - would ensure that only the hyper-wealthy are able to afford even a short trip in one. Things that are heavier than air do not float for a reason.

wait, I thought this was '1913 Zig Forums' rather than business as usual?

Exactly,that would be horrible,wouldn't it.

Make sure you stop for sandwich at Schiller's bro.

We sure have come a long way from being landlocked country with sizable population being in other country haven't we .

I just had a Krag-Jorgensen delivered to my house by the mailman. I love living in St. Louis especially after having both the World's Fair and Olympics nine years ago and I imagine it'll be one of the crown jewels of our great nation. Pics related are myself in my new automobile with my chauffeur and my new to me rifle and bayonet.

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Gosh that all must have cost you nearly 500$ how might you afford such lavish items? I wish I had money to blow on an automobile, though it is quite the useless contraption. It’ll never replace the horse as the common man’s transportation.

I often thought Bismarck should have annexed Austria proper for a truly unified Germany, then you would access to the Mediterranean as well. Though these days it seems like it was for the better to allow the Habsburgs to keep their empire, I cannot imagine unrest will grow, the Balkans will never be fully stable but nothing of any large impact will occur I can assure you. It seems the Reich is low on allies though, Britan is friendly but the tensions over the Kaiser’s fleet, and German industry may antagonize them. Perhaps the collapse of the Ottoman states will sharpen up relations. Anatolia, the Middle East and North African could be dived up to everyone’s satisfaction.

I don't know about you guys but I think the big dick waving surface navies of our time might soon turn out to be some kind of meme, it is not unfeasible for the majority of future naval engagements to happen below water given recent advancements in the realm of seagoing submarines.
Large Battleships and the like might soon be relegated to mere artillery support during landing operations and carrying seaborne heavier-than-air reconnaissance craft.
Once said seaborne aerodynes become capable of carrying proper armaments as far as flying machines go it is not unreasonable to expect most conventional surface navies to gradually retire the majority of their current surface vessels in favor of submarines serving the same role, with the sole remaining surface warships being submarine hunting seaplane tenders and anti-air destroyers.
Discovery of Atlantis fucking when?

I wisely invested my salary during my time fighting in the Philippines and boy, am I glad I went down there to have fun in the sun instead of freezing my toes off up in the Klondike looking for gold. Those Moros didn't know when to quit though.

I don't know, it didn't work so well the first time we tried it with the Turtle during the revolution and the Southerners' own H.L. Hunley sank twice during testing killing all of her crew twice including her inventor before being lost a third and final time and taking her crew with her to a watery grave. Traveling and fighting beneath the waves just seems suicidal

Who is "we"? I don't recognise that flag of yours. It looks kind of like a scrambled flag of Belgium. ARe you a Belgian?

On a river it certainly does, but modern day steel construction of seagoing submarine warships appears to be alot more robust than that of their unfortunate pioneers.
Besides, there is hardly a more discrete way outside of mines to attack a surface vessel on the open sea other than firing a torpedo just below the surface and then diving the heck out of dodge.
Torpedoes are currently somewhat limited due to their low speed and visibility on the surface of the water, but once someone inevitably attaches some kind of wire or god forbid, radio control mechanism to these things allowing them to be remotely steered once fired it will surely be open dreadnaught season on the high seas for a time.
I shudder to think what might happen to wartime shipping convoys once someone figures out how to refill the onboard Oxygen reserves of a submarine without surfacing.

test

It’s the flag of the German confederation, haven’t you read a history book? He’s a liberal Pan-Germanist type, like those scoundrels students who started the revolutions in 1848. He wants a constitution, Freedom of speech, right to arms and freedom of press. Rather silly if you ask me.

You’ve got your telegraph sounder working?

You would say that maplesucker

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Don't be ridiculous. Have you seen the flimsy automobiles the French are constructing? They can hardly stay together while driving on well paved roads! No, I am thinking about reducing the size of artillery pieces and machine guns to a point where they can be easily drawn on horse carriages. Cavalry is going to become a lot more interesting in the near future. I am sure.
Come again. The transmission line must be damaged. What purpose would barbed wire have in warfare?

I assume that's a Model of 1892, firing a .30-40 cartridge. But why are you still shooting those outdated rounded-tip projectiles, when you could easily switch to a pointed ones and drastically increase the range of your rifle?

Those items, but under the rule of a common German Kaiser.

They were all that was available at the local general store and I was a bit overeager to use my rifle. I also think the sights are calibrated for round nose bullets

Fucking Hague convention, first dum-dums and then what next? It's a slippery slope.

Hey, what's this weird flag? Haven't seen this one before

Can I get one in .455?

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Anyways, that is certainly a very nice weapon you got yourself, and I am sure you won't need more than three kilometers of range for mere hunting purposes.
Defence might be a different problemthough. What if those Indians mentioned got their hands on spitzer bullets and decided to pick off travellers from a long way away? Being capable of dealing with them from afar would be wise.
Damn. Aren't round nosed bullets a lot more expensive than spitzer ones these days?

My ancestors wiped out the injuns in my area generations ago, so I'm not worried about any surprise raids. The Ozarks are wooded and hilly, so my Colt 1905 will be a better choice if there's a scuffle. John Browning's a genius and it's a shame he's a Mormon because there's an extermination order here in Missouri that's made them enemies of the state.

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What retards, do they really think a bunch of inbred farmers in Lincolnshire are going to build some sort of armoured land battleship out of tractors?

This is just going to be another one of his "PEOPLE ARE GOING TO START USING POISON GAS TO KILL EACH OTHER RATHER THAN GUNS!" memes, it'll never happen.

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I'm sure you're correct, but you can't seriously be postulating an entirely mounted army (which you'd need to make speed more of a factor than it is today)? Can you? As much as the idea of an entire army of dragoons supported by horse-drawn guns sounds bloody marvellous where would you breed a sufficient number of horses of the appropriate quality? I know that their numbers can be increased, but not nearly to the levels needed for this without severely damaging the agriculture of the nation that tried it. Besides, such a mobile army would be spread out too far for a general to control it, a bugle can only be heard so far away.

Hamstringing your lightning advances for one thing. The future of war is looking more and more static and long range focused, and placing an obstacle like that in the path of your opponents advance would stop it dead in its tracks.

Even if you did build them they'd be too slow to be worth a damn. A weapon you can defeat by walking away from it (at twice the speed it can achieve) is not exactly terrifying. How much armour would they need to clad the thing in to keep it from being wiped out the moment it came in range of the enemies heavy guns too?

Exactly, warfare is too mobile for "muh landships" autism. It's not like there's drawn out medieval-style sieges and lines anymore, it's retarded.

*joins the game*

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Even on an entirely static front they'd be knocked out by the defenders artillery long before they became useful. Actually, that could be a use for them, have colossal blocks of armour plating on wheels advancing just ahead of the men to draw artillery fire away from them. I know it's ridiculous, but it could be useful if the life of the individual soldier became important for some reason.

Bloody good joke, chap. Besides I doubt they’ll be of any use, Artillery is basically front line guns, they’ll be the first thing to spot any metal bunker moving around a field. The concept is flawed change it to a highly mobile automobile with an artillery piece and you have guns that can keep up with the foot soldiers and the Calvary.

On that matter of Calvary the Hun is completely off, it’s almost as if the Prussians haven’t hear of machine guns, the Americans issue four (4!) machine guns per entire regiment. With that much firepower and the averaged solider’s rifle carrying 5 rounds, ours’ 10 in their rifle horse Calvary and dragoon’s will be held in reserve only for mopping up a retreating force or for use in harsher terrain. The future of warfare is long, mobile front lines with artillery guns placed intermittently perhaps 50-100 metres behind the front line soliders. Engagements will be held at no closer than 300 metres unless fighting is occurring in a town or forest. Perhaps a set of armoured plates or a pile of sandbags on a wagon to be pushed in front of soliders as they advance. With frontlines being kilometres long overextended enemies will be encircled in manoeuvres taking place across hundreds of metres. This is the future field phones bring us, making such manoeuvres possible because of our constant communication.

pardon my grammar it’s nearly 4am and I haven’t slept well in a fortnight, my sleep schedule is buggered and I am not entirely with it, I hope I’m not insitutionalized, I swear it’s not madness.

What an absolutely baseless assumption.
Have you not seen the hiding we gave the French in '70-71?
Warfare in such a scope would be economically untenable.
Not even perfidious albion could bankroll a conflict of that size without going bankrupt.

Maybe the Americans could, but their tiny little army is barely big enough to defeat the spanish of all people. Plus, as their John Quincy Adams once said "Americans should not go abroad to slay dragons they do not understand in the name of spreading democracy."
And their ignorance of European affairs is quite a blessing, really.

On the topic of machine guns, it comes as no suprise our beloved Kaiser even bought some out of his own pocket, so impressed was he with their potential.
With enough of those, the Frenchies' bayonet charging days are over.

Also, how do you guys our new Feldgrau uniforms? In dawn or dusk or fog or mist, our soldiers will be all but invisible!
And it looks a damn sight better than that British toddler-diarrhea khaki.

What I'm more concerned about than anything is Austria-Hungary. These KuK fools used to be our rival and enemy for so long and beating on them used to be a fun pastime. I believe no good can come of this alliance.

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Frequent wars are a thing of the past. While my family fought for Friedrich the Great, those times are over. Today’s war’s will be once a century at most and on such large scale due to unbelievable levels of connection and communication. Wars will be decided by a single battle which will be bloody and costly but will last little more than a month. Fortifications are useless because of the speed of the armies nowadays, I tell you long frontline battles are the way forward now that each man has the firepower of 5.

They’re far too isolated to care, I say that America will never take part in a war outside of the new world, or in defence of their new Asian islands, though I fail to see how they’ll hold them.

Yet you’ve joined with the cavalry? Are you not bothered with charging into that maddeningly fast fire on a horse? Though I’m sure I’m glad cousin Bill see’s their use and purchased some from the Empire, he may be closer to the Czar but I know most of us British citizens are respectful of our Germanic cousins. Besides anyone who rivals the French is okay in our books, though I only hope Quebec doesn’t go up in rebellion should we ever war against France again.

Also, how do you guys our new Feldgrau uniforms? In dawn or dusk or fog or mist, our soldiers will be all but invisible!
It’s a coward’s tool to hide himself in battle. Next you’ll be toting armour plates and hiding in the grass.
Just what I’d expect from a nation without any experience in Africa. If you had half the experience fighting the negros in Africa or even a third of the colonial land we have you’d see where our focus is. Besides when will the Empire ever fight a European land battle?

I still think the kleindeutsche Lösung, was the wrong choice, Bismarck ought to have offered the Habsburgs regional monarchy over Austria proper and the south German Czechs, Hungary and the Balkans be dammed. Those regions will be a liability for them and for you. No “great war” will come of it but some unrest will cause those inbred nobels to make demands and send in their troops to quell the issue. You’ll be forced to help if the Austro-Hungarian troops are too incompetent least you look a fool for your alliance with them. And Russia won’t like any action taken against other Slavs. Worst case senario the Reich will have to pay for proper troops to help the Austrians and Russia will fund rebels. But on the other hand who will the Kaiser turn to for friendship? The Italians? The Danes?

You won't believe what happened today lads. So I come back from work with my friend George (A great man I might say, he comes from a family with great military history) and I invite him to my household for a drink. Anyway, after an hour or two our discussion takes us to military matters and my wife out of nowhere interferes and asks "Why are women not allowed to join the army?" with a stupid look on her face. I was furious. I immediately took my belt off and reminded her of who's in charge here, then I threatened her with kicking her out of the house. My good friend George however put some sense into me before things could get out of control. "Why would somebody whip a woman before throwing her out of a house?".

If it wasn't for him that whore would be out in the streets begging right now.

All these strange efforts to get women out of the house and into the street pretending to be men as of late worry me.
Could it be part of some villainous marxist plot to destabilize the great nations of man?

At least he can talk, who is he?

The worst sin against modern warfare of all time. Soldiers will shoot their brothers in arms because they mistook them for rocks or enemies! Commanders will lose their units and deserters will run free!
It is only a matter of time until the Habsburgs and Hohenzollers will unite their houses and all German people under one banner. I got a feeling we would need another victory against the French for that though.

I don't think anyone cared who he was until he put on the grenadier's cap.

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He's a real big guy

I hope you spanked her in the non-lewd way >implying it can be non-lewd back to her senses. If I were you I’d put her in a uniform with a pack her own weight and march her through a rain storm in the mud until she’s back to her senses. Unless you’re a Turk, then just honour kill her and focus on your other wives.

Ha-ha faggots, in 100 years you're going to be sooo fucked 8(V)

What do bundles of sticks have to do with anything?

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I know you colonial farmers don't get much education out in the wilds, but even you should know that the flag displayed above those publications is that of an ottoman province in the location of former ancient greek territory.

This is something i would expect to see on facebook, why don't you go back to wherever you came from.

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>faggot
>"male homosexual," 1914, American English slang, probably from earlier contemptuous term for "woman" (1590s), especially an old and unpleasant one, in reference to faggot "bundle of sticks," as something awkward that has to be carried (compare baggage "worthless woman," 1590s).
etymonline.com/word/faggot
Get your ass out of here.

I always knew Germans were autistic retards.

Since the first recorded usage of faggot to describe a faggot is after 1914, it's within the realm of possibility for someone in 1913 to not know that definition. faggot

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after in 1914

You know who's responsible for this? LIBERALS. That's right, these "liberty" totin' degenerates thinking we should be ruled by the mob. First they asked for the wealthy to have a say, now the poor, and I guarantee you women will be next and household pets right after! One would think that people would be wiser after what happened in France with Napoleon, but no, "TRUE LIBERALISM HAS NEVER BEEN TRIED". Stupid wankers.

Right, and the Ottomen Turks have colonized the area have they not?

It’s better than the conservatives, they’d just as soon empty out the cities and send us all back to serfdom. The liberals just want inalienable rights for men. No one believes that women or the lesser races are capable of enough intelligence to understand let alone have rights. Liberals merely want the freedom to speak their ideology, no one is saying we establish a democracy separate from the King, the royal family will always have the last say. As the hun said he wants to be able to own guns and say what he wants, this doesn’t go against his Kaiser and none but a few radicals will use these freedoms for ill.

Get out of this fucking thread you idiot, you're obviously underage because you're breaking character and posting gore when you're angry like an edgy little cunt.

She'll be pretty ragged after that experience, give her a lewd spanking as a treat and then tell her that you're going to spend a week with your mistress (in the flat you keep for her on the other side of town) so wifey doesn't have to worry about pleasing you and can spend a few days reflecting on what she's learned. She'll like that and be grateful for the consideration you've shown her.

Come on Canada, you know that the monarchy has been neutered since the civil war. The last time the monarch refused assent to a bill was 1707 for Christs sake.

HAPAS ARE SUPERIOR TO WHITES