You are now a captain on a cargo ship

Armed dindus in boats are approaching your ship. You have no weapons and no security on board. The nearest military vessel will need 14 hours to reach your position minimum. You have 19 men under your command, most in their 20s to early 30s and in somewhat decent shape, though a bit skinny.

What do you do? How do you fight the pirates off? You can use anything on the ship to create weapons as long as it doesn't damage it's engine and waste precious fuel.

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theregister.co.uk/2011/11/17/aircraft_carrier_toilet_awfulness/
washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2015/01/30/oops-how-a-navy-ship-ran-aground-during-the-2014-winter-olympics/?utm_term=.2bb647955aed
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You tell me, homo.

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what did ukraine mean by this?

Ask the US Navy, or what's left of it after Day of the Crate

He is referring to the large amount of ramming of ships into modern military navy vessels. Other then decommissioned ships, (as far as I'm aware,) the number one loss in ships is due to civilian vessels colliding with military ones. On one occasion in the black sea, a Russian military vessel hit a Ukrainian one and captured everyone. Ramming ships is now an unofficial means of causing naval attrition without a declaration of war.

Like the others said, there seems to be a strange habit of military vessels ramming themselves on mega-ships and sinking

Strange how that figure correlates perfectly with the number of women in leadership positions in the navy.

I put the naval ram that I you can see on that ramming vessel to proper use.
Surely, no boat of dindus could outfight what has even the US navy beat.

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Gotta love double standards, gotta love weN yvaN.

Well you done fucked up right there. Why would you sail through bandit country without any protection?

Because companies don't care. So how will you survive, user?

I would try recruit the somalis in exchange of food. If that doesnt work I would find a fire extingusher and drink an ungodly amount of monster to smash their skulls in.

I'll hide in the water and drill holes in nigger ships.

Well for starters going to dangerous places unarmed is not a good start but let's have fun. I'd probably setup some makeshift caltrops and be prepared to drop heavy objects at the attackers.

Why not just drop a can of fuel on them when they come close and light it up? Like an up sized molotov?

You know, how do somalis usually board large container ships? It's not like there's just a ladder somewhere they can climb up. Grappling hooks? If they're just going to try to rappel up why not kick at and shove them off. They can't shoot you while climbing a rope, and neither can the guys still in the boat.

Former US Navy, can confirm. Stupid ginger cunt forged chief's signature going into port in Turkey because she was too lazy to check the port properly, ship ran aground because of it. She then proceeded to get oral herpes in port.

I wish I was lying.

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THATS GOOD THINKING. SHOULD WORK FIRST TIME, BUT WHAT ABOUT SECOND TIME WHEN THEY COME BACK WITH TWO BOATS ONE OF WHICH IS STAND-OFF WITH RPGS, AND NOW THEY WANT REVENGE FOR BURNING THEIR BUDDIES ALIVE?

They usually bring an RPG and threaten the crew into letting them on.

Why not actually make molotovs instead of wasting an entire can of perfectly good fuel on one ship, which you aren't even sure to hit?

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USS GEORGE W BUSH, THE MIGHTEST MAN-O-WAR EVER TO SAIL THE 7 SEAS, LAID LOW BY 'WHITE MICE' FLUSHED DOWN TOILETS.

theregister.co.uk/2011/11/17/aircraft_carrier_toilet_awfulness/

Naval commanders blamed the problems on inappropriate objects such as clothes or feminine hygiene products being flushed down the heads.

Other Bush crewmen have reportedly taken to the use of bottles in some private location, following which the containers are smuggled to a suitable point for surreptitious tipping overboard. Unfortunately this "can soil the side of the ship or the hangar deck, aircraft or fellow sailors, depending on how it catches the wind", the NT reports.

NOW THE WHOLE FUCKING SHIP IS COVERED WITH SHIT AND PISS, LIKE A NEW ORLEANS STREET ON MARDI GRAS.

May I have the sauce please?

What the? Girls in the Strayan schools know not to flush feminine products down the loos. Because if one loo is blocked in the 12 toilet room then the entire toilet room is locked until it is clean.

The official story is that they failed to make course corrections. My addition to that story is that ginger mcdipfuck in particular was lying about doing fixes to our course.

washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2015/01/30/oops-how-a-navy-ship-ran-aground-during-the-2014-winter-olympics/?utm_term=.2bb647955aed

We then had to wait until we could be towed out Souda Bay where the ship could be fixed because the turkroach waters were too dirty to see in, and waited a few weeks in the most beautiful bay I have ever seen, until it got fixed, during which I fucked a different hooker every day.

I have always wanted to go back to Greece just to look at that bay again.

Really, I should be thanking her.

how are Cretan hookers?

Has there ever been an instance where they actually carried through with that threat?

call nearest capable ship for help, turn off all the engines (prefferably add some simple to repair sabotage) so that they retards cannot figure out how to turn them back on (thus rendering the ship unmaneuvreable) and hole with the crew in the most distant recesses of the ship, locking and blocking every door in between us and the deck. Then simply wait. They won't be able to get to us before help arrives, they won't be able to sail the ship away, at most they'll steal some of the cargo (which is irrelevant compared to the price of losing the entire ship).

They should have sold it to the Indian Navy.

Like women everywhere, really. Some were hot, some were okay. There was one blonde girl I think I saw like 6 times, though. Pretty face, big bouncy titties.

Y-you too…

Mostly Ukrainian I'd guess.

Gee I dunno OP, I guess I would fucking die if I actively put myself in such a hopeless "checkmate" situation.

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If the crew wasn't retarded they would know that an RPG will never sink a fuckhuge ship

You are 20 people against less than a dozen dumb pirates who cannot use their weapons while climbing on the ship and you think it is hopeless? Use your autism imagination user!

cool

lel

Throw car into reverse while staying as low as possible. Unless you're driving a Prius or something you've got a decent chance of breaking out.
Ahead flank, order adjustment in either depth or heading since depth charges take forever to sink and had poor performance unless you had multiple destroyers working together.

If you do anything to the pirates they will fuck you up with an RPG or two, or three, or four, or five… If I learned anything from reading about operation Gothic Serpent its that RPGs grow out of the fucking ground there and the last thing you need is to have white hot aluminum fires burning on all decks and the bridge of your ship.


The situation OP described demands you are in a smart for two and didn't lock the doors.
You're very smart.

When the fuck did I say anything about outrunning? Do you have any idea how depth charge attacks work?

I send distress signal and hide in a ballast tank until it blows over.

Retard.

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Okay so you dodged the first depth charge run, how do you plan on escaping the second, third, forth, ect without distancing yourself from the DD? If you surface to gain speed you will be holed by radar guided guns and even then you are outclassed anyway. Do you seriously expect them to just get bored and leave?

You just do a proper shutdown. I guarantee you 100% the niggers wouldn't know how to restart them. In fact I guarantee you that noone would know this without appropriate training.

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They do not care. Look up piracy attack statistics and you are guaranteed to find some ship where it's crew or captain were kidnapped in the past few months

I'll give you that Greece has more to do with seafaring than Russia but I'm pretty sure you're talking out of your ass using tangential statistics as weak evidence.

I think you grossly underestimate shipping CEO's idiocy and gambling addiction.

It costs companies less to pay some ransom for a kidnapped captain than to hire guards for all 100+ of their ships. Maximum profit and least spending is all they care about.

Generally speaking the economic benefits of sailing from the Indian Ocean into the Mediterranean through the Suez rather than Gibraltar mostly outweigh the economic risks of having all the ship's cash stolen and all the crew killed.

The Greek freight captain that lurks Zig Forums also claims that many countries don't allow armed personnel in their ports and that's the main reason sailing companies avoid it.

I guess they don't particularly care since crewmembers come and go every 4 months and there is no shortage of volunteers.

Yeah I figured that much. Still plenty of ships do sail with armed guards so there's good reason to have them.

If you haven't been to Souda Bay(though idk why you wouldn't have been if you're greek), you should go.

You dodge the second, then the third, then the forth. Because that is how it was done. Most fleet destroyers carried relatively few and it was only dedicated anti-submarine escorts that had enough to sustain a long-term attack. Depth charges were shit weapons and were only used because until the Hedgehog was introduced there was nothing better. The standard depth charges used in WWII sank at a rate of about 3 meters a second. If your Uboat was at a depth of 100m, that meant you had about 30 seconds, assuming a perfect drop on your position AND a perfectly set fuze, to evade. Even at a painful 5kts, that still lets you move 75m or 225 feet. You can survive. U-230 got depth charged for over 35 hours. U-427 survived nearly 700 attacks. The Japanese, until that fucker May ruined it, were basically incapable of sinking a submerged submarine, even if they knew exactly where it was.

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5 month contracts are the minimum, though most of the time people go through 6 and 9 month contracts. As for a big supply of volunteers, that's not the case. In countries with small fleets that might be the case but for a country like Greece with 5,200+ vessels, they struggle to find enough officers and captains, hence why these people get paid this much money. They are rare and precious to the companies, but at the same not so precious to guarantee expensive guards on the ship.

The only time companies bother with security is when their cargo is really, really expensive. Usually LNG carriers and tankers get security. Cargo ships and bulk carriers are left defenseless

Why tell them? All you'd need is an arms locker somewhere a cursory inspection isn't going to find it, and the crew can fight back.
I'm rather surprised crews aren't doing this by themselves.

It only takes one liberal faggot to rat out the whole operation.

Nobody asked, but, while the engine does actually start with a press of a button, that's only after it's been prepared to start. For that, you need to open starter tank valves, compressed air line valves, fuel line valves, oil line valves, cooling water valves, close all check valves, start water pump, oil pump, fuel pump, ensure that all pressures read above minimum levels, and after that the motor will start with a press of a button. And that's excluding all of the electronic engine control fuckery. Even experienced crew sometimes fuck it up and it doesn't start the first time or pressure/temperature alarm rings few seconds into operation. Without knowing you need to do all that you'd never get it to work, and it's not enough just to know you need to do this - you also need to know locations of all the relevant valves and switches, and sure enough none of them are labeled. If you didn't open compressed air valves, it wouldn't crank. If you didn't close check valves, it would crank but wouldn't start. If you didn't open fuel valves, it wouldn't start. If you didn't start fuel motor, it wouldn't start. If you didn't do any of the rest, it would start but would seize within a few minutes. The fun part is that starter tanks can only crank the motor a dozen revolutions or so. If you ran out of starting compressed air on a ship with no power to run the compressor to refill starter tanks, then you'd be shit out of luck.
Fun bit of technical trivial.

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unless only the captain knows of the stash and where on the boat it is. It's a big boat and you probably only really need hunting rifles to make the pirates pick elsewhere to go. Hell, a crate of nuggets somewhere in the ship could already be all you need. You can still pick them up in Ukraine somwhere and only really need a few capable shooters, while the rest can just provide volley fire for effect. Later on, dump the crate with the rest of the crew. Get a new one on board without the crew finding out. Maybe in a fake container somewhere deep in the hold.

That said, how do small arms get shipped? It would be rather funny if a couple of containers away had been a perfectly fine HK G36 or LMT AR15 shipment during a piracy incident.

Can you manage to make an even greater embarrassment of yourself, g*rmanic shill?

Probably try to knock them off-course with my firefighting systems on-board. At that point, send an emergency signal, rob the kitchen for cutlery/booze, leave broken glass on the ground with the lights turned off/power cut to the lights systems, and wait for the dindus who can't afford shoes to step on broken glass before beating the shit out of them. We'll probably lose a man or two, but it's not like Dindus can aim or anything.

Does 'check valve' mean something different in Rus/Engineer parlance? Because to me 'check valve' means a valve that will only let fluid flow in one direction. Not unless you mean 'check' as in 'open this valve, and if gas/air/oil starts spewing out it means you have pressure in that line'.

Because of course it's not. You could theoretically trace the fluid conduits back from the engine to find the valves and whatnot, but that takes time and mechanical aptitude, of which I doubt the Somalis have either in ample supply.

I realize that you don't turn these engines on and off all that often, but that still seems like a design flaw. Is having a 5HP Briggs & Stratton air compressor for a backup really something that would break the bank?

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I really, really hope you're just making all this up. The more I hear about the military from Zig Forumsommandos, the more I want decimatio to be enacted.

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Have you herd the story of the USS cowpens? as told by a Zig Forumsommando?

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That nose and the psychopathic smile made me look up his surname, and sure enough I think I know why he was aloof - he didn't want to be associated with the goyim.

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Every goddamn time. I'd be willing to place my bets on Savage being a tribe member too. Also, what the fuck kind of white person names their kid Destiny Savage? Based on that name alone she sounds like she got knocked up in high school.

Why not just ram it?

M-miss Sunny?…

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Any pirate vessel is going to be a hundred times more maneuverable than a cargo ship.

Isn't there a movie about OP's scenario? I forgot what it's called.

If they are going to approach to board, then they can be rammed.

Otherwise, I don't see how the fuck they are going to terrorize the crew with their small boat.

There is Captain Cuck, but it's not a giant cargo ship.

Crazy idea:

Why do I get a feeling that she is already groomed to be jew’s selected pet, long before she enlisted herself?

^This btw.

Those two look straight out psychopath, the same as that Cortez bitch.

One is a jew and the other is a broken pet-tsiksa.

Turns out my company cares for their employees and left a special package in a crate marked 'not a weapon' in the captain's quarters. It's a MK-3 Ovenizer ray, based on the Raytheon Area Denial system, but its focusing array and power yields have been drastically upgraded to the point it can boil targets alive and forcibly discharge ammunition in magazines. When questioned by the UN regarding the constant reports of roasted pirates, my company's CEO said 'go fuck yourselves in the pooper with a live WWI grenade'.

Oh god, I wish, I wish only to be granted a cargo ship with like 8 german PzH 2000 strapped on it.

I'm gonna blow the pirates to smitheereen and loot all their loot (is that legal?).

...

Look at her eye. It is a mind controlled eye expression. I think she is suffering from personality split disorder. Please tell me that I am wrong because the sufferers are the child abuse victims.

They must have some sort of loot right?

Do you think they have a stash of gold hidden away somewhere?

Maybe not gold, but fuel and necessities they looted over the years.

They can't be that unproductive right?

user, these are somalian pirates we're talking about here

They are born to rape and loot though.

Well sure, but that doesn't mean they're going to plan ahead for the future, beyond the usual raping and plundering at least. I wouldn't expect them to have too much material wealth on them at any given time.

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Not funny. Most victims are child victims.

My general english vocabulary isn't strong, technical terms even less so. By "check valve" I meant the valve that you open for dry cranking, it simply connects the cylinder to outside air.

They're not labeled because if you have any idea what you're supposed to do you would immediately know what the valve is doing just by looking at it, and if you have no idea then you wouldn't know what to do with the valve, label or not.

All vessels have small backup generators with electric starters that can also be started by hand. They don't usually mount them in the engine room though, they'd have dedicated room near/at the top of the superstructure. Power and propulsion diesels do however require compressed air to start; it would be backwards to put electric starters on diesel generator motors, and propulsion motors are just too massive to start them by other means than compressed air and using smaller engines to do it is just impractical AND unreliable.

Not much but better than nothing.

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How will the dindus get up that high? Do they have ropes and grappling hooks or something?
1.If there is a crane on deck use it to drop containers on the enemy vessels when they come along side.
2.Pour flaming diesel down onto them and their ship.
3.Use the ships fire hoses on 'em.
4.Steer into the enemy vessels, the greater mass should have a positive effect. This should prevent boarding and maybe damage or sink their vessels.
5a.Improvise voodoo masks from common ship board items such as tin plates, pillows, string etc… Paint yourselves and dance naked around burning barrels of diesel on the the deck chanting hideously. Niggers are superstitious and may well flee in terror.
5b.Instead of voodoo priests take advantage of your skinny crew and paint them brown. Then get them to babble incoherently in nog when the real nogs board. This should perplex the fools until you get within melee range whereupon a bit of the old rop-a-dope should fix your problem nicely.
6a.Hide in the bilges leaving Vince the affirmative action hiv+ sodomite tied up and gagged on the poop deck. When the nogs go to fiki fiki town on Vince they will all get hiv and eventually die. A pyrrhic victory because this wont save you or the ship but it will at least ensure fewer dindus in future. Unless they already have the aids which is likely, hmmm. Maybe vince has super aids?
6b.Alternatively, wait until the nogs are all aboard and distracted with Vince then slip over board and steal their ships niggers cant plan and wont have much of a guard posted. Scuttle your own ship before you abandon it for extra cake. Then sail away laughing and maybe become pirates yourselves, gif related.

The only real problem with these admittedly brilliant plans is that they have ranged weapons and they could hit something important and sink or cripple your ship while you are trying to bugger off. The only solution when it becomes apparent that they are going to catch you is to fake surrender until they get along side then spring into action!

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Don’t most rpg's have a minimum distance before they arm? So firing one point blank would be infective.


By the time they come back you will be long gone. You also assume nogs can plan that well.


Good idea! That's why ill make you my tactical officer when we round the cape.


Ftfy.

They use ladders, more rarely ropes
Container ships don't have cranes. All the loading/unloading is done by huge cranes in ports. Also you really don't want to throw away cargo, chances are your company, and many others will put you in a blacklist
How will you get the diesel though?
Good choice
Your ship is too big for that. Once they at your sides you won't get rid of them by maneuvering

The rest of your suggestions are questionable.


I'm surprised that nobody has recommended what I would do. You see lads, pirates can only climb one at a time, and their weapons are always on their back. Also, they usually climb on ledges and not fences, which means they have no idea what's waiting for them on top until they peek over with their heads. This means that anyone on board with a kitchen knife can wait for the pirate to pop up, and immediately stab him in the neck, drag him inside the ship, steal his weapon and then shoot at the confused pirates bellow. It is as easy as it sounds. You're stabbing a defenseless weak nigger who's trying to climb on a ship. There are very few things that could go wrong.

Here's a quick drawing I made to illustrate my point

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Put a bucket under the fuel drain outlet and open the drain valve. Lift it out of fuel tank with a pail if that's not installed.

Buy a keg full in port. You know you're going through pirate-infested waters beforehand, it's not (yet) like you sail through the North Sea and find a guy that brings the black into blackbeard climbing the hull.

Actually, now that I think about it, just use a 30l version of these as a party-sized Molotov cocktail.

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Still don't understand why you can't just ram them.

Do you know what an SSAS is?

And then they literally gas you with CO2

I seem to remember that an imprudently large amount of RPG-wielding dindus have taken to the orkish habit to remove or disable the boner-killer safety fuse of their RPG rounds to be able to splode stuff in urban settings range
some survive long enough to learn about the necessary clearance around the projectile for the spring-loaded deployment of the stabilizing fins, that tend to hook on stuff that is too close and trigger the un-fused grenade between the legs of the shooter

I had some hilarious and instructive videos on a hdd that crashed, fuck

Kino thread, better than cuckchan's Zig Forums threads about ships

A cargo ship's turning radius is measured in miles, a pirate ship's in meters.