I have always wanted to accept god into my heart but like every man who tries to sincerely accept god there is some baggage holding me back specifically two pieces. the first is The concept of hell seems unforgivably cruel. I don't understand how eternal, infinite punishment is a just reaction to the finite and often unintentional crimes of flawed humans. in most part of the world just punishment is seen at best as reformative for the purpose of teaching bad people to be good, and at worst preventative stopping bad people from doing more bad things but never simply for the purpose of hurting those bad people for being bad or punitive justice. the other one is anime, just like cartoons and animation I think it is creative, fun, and life-affirming.
The problem of hell
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As someone who once had a lot of questions regarding hell in particular its really just that you have to turn your brain off. Turn your mind away from the mysteries of God. This is especially to say, don't accept some sort of philosophical doctrine and then stop questioning. Don't ask the question in the first place. The things of God are not to be apprehended by our feeble intellects. At the same time I realize how that will sound to someone who has not otherwise had personal experience of God.
so i just kind of have to accept this thing that seems morally terrible.
Yes. If you are/were an intellectual like me then your cross is pride in knowledge. Tough break. I would rather be one of these nofap guys (ah wait, I got that problem too). So every day you're going to have to wake up telling yourself you essentially know nothing.
what to heck.
Look into The Orthodox conception of hell.
Well, for me personally like a lot of western people rightly so, i could never get the idea of a burning hell. A Dante's Inferno. I would personally seriously recommend looking into orthodoxy and how they view hell and the afterlife, or even just general christain views on afterlife. Cause Prior to, the publishing of Dante's Inferno. No Christian thought you went to burn, in lava, in the endless torture . Think about it for a sec man. Why would ancient Christians have prayers for the dead? If Hell is just the unending torment? Really i would say orthodoxy cause it really seems to ground its self in more sane theology. But no dude im still new to this myself, but that's really what i've come to find these past couple of months. Another point would be just i guess basic point to get a hand on this, is C.S Lewis, the Great Divorce and how he portrays hell and heaven, in that novel. Is what i've been told by orthodox people for a kinda of basic level understanding of it. But no dude unironically look up how ancient Christians viewed the afterlife no one perceived oh hell as this giant lake of fire till Dante's Inferno, and i like Dante's inferno as a reading, but it really doesn't seem like it's original Christian teachings due.
I pondered this question for a long time. Here is the reason hell is just:
1) though your actions are finite, they have infinite consequences. Your sin will cause cascading damage throughout the rest of creation. Curses to the next generation and so forth. Considering your life was given to you for free, using it to sin creates a debt than can never be paid. Thus, infinite torment in exchange for creating infinite damage by choosing sin is just.
2) the fire of gehenna can be likened to a purifying fire, in that, the physical fires of the physical Gehenna (Hinnom Valley next to Jerusalem) burned up the refuse and bodies of criminals, so does the spiritual lake of fire seek to burn up our sin - but what if all we are is sin? What if our definition of self and sin cannot be separated? Well, if all that is available is God, or the lake of fire, and we cannot be in God's presence while bearing sin and we refuse to be purified, where must we stay? Sinners don't want to be in hell but they would still rather be in Hell than accede to the conditions of entrance into Heaven.
I hope this makes you more at ease with the subject. Took me many years of scripture-reading and pondering to come to these conclusions which made me comfortable with the concept of hell
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Have you even read Inferno? If I remember correctly, only one circle has actual burning, all the rest of punishments are appropriate to their crimes.
Muhammed and heretics for example are split in two due to the heresy they committed.
…because they didn't think the people they prayed for went to hell?
You need to do some more re-reading, much more.