Breaking News: World Is Stunned By News Report

RE: PICSART

I am highly skilled in Adobe Photoshop, and having taught myself photorealistic airbrushing long before the Advent of personal computers, it was a natural extension for me.

I've always found it humorous how men in an IMAGEBOARD would continually misunderstand my pattern of producing 'on the spot' graphic images that accompany my posts.

I would never 'make a meme', nor do I even use that stupid, trendy catchphrase in my vocabulary.

Attached: piscart-induce-digital.jpg (1024x1024, 42.05K)

It's so easy to hook you.

Attached: Chuck Berry.jpg (474x369, 19.3K)

accusing me of making 'memes' would be like going into a 'musicboard' and accusing an Impromptu Melody Contributor of 'making limericks'.

it doesn't even apply

The oldfag approved term would be offensive creativity.

Thanks For Asking

And YES, I agree with you that there is no such thing as 'linear time', that the universe is operating simultaneously in millions of different dimensional directions, and that Elvis was the 'messiah figure' predicted 1,935 years earlier, whom many fools referred to as 'Jesus'.

that's not what I call them.

I love offensive creativity, but I would never call it a 'meme'

Attached: who cares.jpg (2328x1436, 281.7K)

(editors note)
it's impossible to express anything without offending somebody somewhere.

There is an 'art' to everything, whether it be painting or writing or music or cooking or sex or conversation, etc etc etc

Expressionism is the key to happiness, if you ask me. A lack of expressionism leads to misery, isolation and depression

We are all expressionists, to one degree or another, some being more proficient at it than others

Offending people isn't the problem, any more than pleasing people…

The ultimate goal has always been the same: to avoid expressionism that creates disinterest or ambivalence as a response

cause you're not oldfag approved

Neither do I. Just like with the term "atheist" the powers that be were afraid of something they cannot understand, so they gave it a name to have a target for their hate and corruption.

EGG ZACK LEE™

(isn't it odd how version 1.0 never even existed?)

Attached: Screenshot_20180820-112125.png (1080x1920, 987.86K)

That's the key to overcome boredom. I just wish I could hammer that into peoples minds.

existed?
In-diddely-do-deed

Attached: Ned.gif (689x550, 23.9K)

an interesting story about the Jesus 2.0 illustration :

I've illustrated Elvis for countless dozens of celebrities (and everyday people) since I was 12 years old.

I painted a gigantic exterior mural on the side of a nightclub called Red Square in Memphis Tennessee in the 90's, featuring an imaginary hypothetical movie poster.

It was for a movie called RED SQUARE, featuring Elvis Presley starring as 'Johnny Neptune'.

It just so happens that Lisa Marie Presley's limousine was kept Park in a secured area right next to the mural.

She saw the mural and inquired who had painted it.

By this time, I had married the Swedish girl (as in: a blonde bombshell who was actually from Sweden) and we had moved to Neptune Beach Florida, just a stone's throw North from Jacksonville Beach… One day I got a phone call from my friend Todd Morgan, who was the creative director of Graceland (Elvis Presley Enterprises)

Todd said he wanted to fly me back to Memphis and sit down to discuss meat becoming the art director of Graceland. I went to the meeting and met with the marketing and Licensing directors, Danny and Carol, and after listening to their pitch, I turned down the job offer.

I told them "I have been working for Elvis as since I was 12 years old, and I'm not about to start wearing a tie and clocking in at 9 to approve or disapprove ashtrays and coffee mugs."

Todd laughed, and told me that's exactly what he expected me to say.

Anyway, the image of Elvis crucified on a cross made of a guitar and a syringe raised the eyebrows of Gary Hovey, lawyer for Elvis Presley Enterprises and Lisa Marie's personal attorney.

One day I got a certified letter in the mail, a legal sized manila envelope….

When I opened the letter, it was an official cease-and-desist notice from Gary Hovey. He had instructed me that I was never allowed to paint another picture of Elvis' likeness…

I had the cease and desist notice framed, and I can honestly say I have never been more proud of anything in my life.

100% TRUE……..

I can honestly say that I don't think I've ever been 'bored' for more than five or ten minutes at a time.

I'm always amazed when people are incapable of developing something creative and their minds to occupy their time, filling the void known as 'boredom'

The King even gave you vocal permission beforehand am I right?

When I was a kid growing up in Memphis, we used to live diagonally across from graceland.in the mornings, on the way to school, there were several times when my brother and I would see Elvis riding Lisa Marie's golf cart around in the front yard of Graceland, still awake from the night before.

Attached: PicsArt_1396057755286.jpg (491x600, 167.56K)

It's pretty easy to 'trigger' a die-hard Elvis fanatic by simply mentioning Elvis' name….

By the way, a couple other 'tidbits' in case you didn't know:

Better keep it down with Gary Burghoff, tho…the mods literally raped the last thread.

Attached: Gary.jpg (474x266, 18.44K)

When I was a kid, I used to draw my own comic books, Xerox them, and sell them to the other kids at school.

I created comic book character named 'Johnny Neptune', who was like James Bond, a secret agent who was continually saving the planet behind the scenes, all while 'going undercover in plain view', is cover being an internationally famous Rockstar, kind of like Elvis.

The Johnny Neptune character was originally developed to be in a group called 'Johnny Neptune and the Frog Men', where the rest of the band all dressed in full scuba gear, unidentifiable, and they were part of the same intelligence agency secret agent team that helped Johnny Neptune save the world without anybody realizing it…

When I was 12, actually maybe I might have just turned 13 years old, but I think I was 12… Anyway, I got hired to illustrate my first magazine cover, and I was about to sign the illustration 'Andrew McGovern' when on a goofy fluke, at the last minute I decided to sign the name 'Johnny Neptune' instead….

that's where the pseudonym came from

Attached: PicsArt_08-20-11.58.41.jpg (2482x1580, 104.46K)

Hahahaha!!!

the mods are gonna harp on you after I dissolve

And although you may have already known this last tidbit:

I wasn't homeless when I got arrested.

I indeed HAVE been homeless before in my life… A few times, in fact. (you wouldn't believe how much hot pussy I was fucking when I literally forgot to go home for a month or two in my 20s and lost my apartment with everything I owned in it. That didn't stop me. I was literally PLOWING THROUGH GIRLS like a rabid intercourse machine!!! I'm not lying, I've never met anybody who was as lucky as me regarding pussy. I was fucking SO many girls it was crazy. I was bouncing from bedroom to bedroom, and occasionally I found myself needing to sleep outside, only to be back in another chicks bedroom the next night. (Especially the three 16 year olds, Sonya Shana and Katherine)

another time later in my life, I intentionally began 'wandering', living on the move, traveling from city to city, from experience to experience, and I loved it !!

However, on March 20th, 2017 I was not homeless at all…..

I was renting from a Bibb County Deputy named April Johnson. The arresting officer (Cpl Greg Thomas) was just a fucking vendictive dickhead

……..and now you know……

Ironically, Gary Burghoff has a condition known as POLAND'S ANOMALY, also called Poland's Syndrome…

So do I….

My left hand isn't fucked up…
It's the left side of my chest that's fucked up.

Which only goes to prove that any guy who can't get any pussy ISN'T TRYING, AND IS SIMPLY MAKING UP EXCUSES

When I was a kid, I suffered from THE WORST insecurity, slf doubt & fear due to the POLAND'S Syndrome.

I was overwhelmed by fear that no girl would ever want me.

I never 'fit in', and knowing I was different, I bent over backwards TRYING to fit in…. It never worked. The harder I tried, the less I fit in.

Finally, after beginning to take LSD at the age of 12, I self actualized, and decided to stop trying.

I decided to 'work it' with what I had.

To 'own it'……..

I decided that being different was the only way I could ever 'fit in', that 'standing out was the only way I could ever blend in:……

………………..lol

……..it seems so obvious
and simple………………….

…it had amazing
e f f i c a c y

'experts' estimate that there are approximately 10,000 trillion ants on Earth.

B O O U H S H I T ! ! . . . .

there are 100,000 trillion of them in my front yard

Just like my cartoon character 'Johnny Neptune', the introverted pre-digital 'robot' child decided to hide in plain view.

And to me, as they say, "all the world's a stage"….

And I'm a performer

what's going on in this thread?

(self-containment)

Still here, eating corn on the cob, rubbing the belly of my dog and fighting political shitposting wars on foreign battlefields. But there's always time for a little Neptune on the side. Fuck the haters.

Attached: uncle bill.jpg (490x370, 41.12K)

I have some news for you. Give me back my girlfriend or I'm going to twist your face around so you can kiss your own eyebrows.

Attached: download.jpeg (218x231, 7.37K)

Does this mean the 'give me back my magic girlfriend' guy is soon to come back with a vengeance?
Nature abhors a vacuum.

I don't care what all that means, but fuck me if that get-up isn't the faggiest shit I've seen all day. How about you make me your butt buddie while I shove kryptonite up your ass, pajama-boy?

Attached: Lobo.jpg (803x995, 117.05K)

Last night, a guy actually tried the 'give me back my girlfriend' superhero technique on my son.

He literally barged into my sons new house, without knocking, and tried taking a swing at my son Jet.

lol he left covered in blood. broken nose and an open wound above his eye.

And NO, he's not getting his girlfriend back

Brian Keith makes me wonder about guys with two first names

THE SECRET TO A HAPPY LIFE:

no animation other than Ren & Stimpy

NONE…..

NOTHING……

Just Ren & Stimpy and nothing else……

trust me

I've only worn underwear like 4 or 5 times in my entire life

It's when you don't have the upper hand in marriage and have to share the name giving with your wife. Always brings a dark cloud over ones face when brought up by the guys.

Attached: Depressed.jpg (474x317, 17.46K)

I do enjoy a good LOG every once in a while, but I prefer my crude cartoons on the less fictional side…like Duckman.

Attached: Log.jpg (332x363, 26.84K)

Just the right amount of social commentary, dark humor and sexual innuendo. Also perfect for pelvis thrusting.

Attached: Shit is going down.jpg (1024x536, 61.53K)

Lol @

pelvis thrusting

we have found a home for the
orange kid

been pampering the
hell out of him, and
teaching him how it
feels to be royalty…

things are good

Attached: VID_20180819_013134_8656.jpg (1920x1080, 89.95K)

And of course Rocket's been having to learn to overcome her only child syndrome

Attached: IMG_20180820_151613.jpg (1080x1920, 90.3K)

Which didn't come very easily for her

Attached: IMG_20180820_151626.jpg (1920x1080, 106.03K)

In fact, it was kind of worrisome for all parties involved

Attached: VID_20180819_013134_2782.jpg (1920x1080, 88.89K)

But Cosmo stood his fucking ground

Attached: VID_20180819_013134_7895.jpg (1920x1080, 89.46K)

Cosmo is half of Rocket's size and age, but he's much more mature than her.

Attached: PicsArt_08-18-12.36.01.jpg (1574x2279, 193.86K)

I think I might be the only person on Earth who actually thought Drinky Crow was good

I fucking loved it

Attached: MV5BNjEzOThkZjgtZWZkMS00ZTU1LTllN2QtYmJlNTQyMTkwNzQxXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNDQ0MzU5MDE@._V1_.jpg (960x1440, 307.1K)

Never even heard of that shit, but have a torrent running as I type…better be worth it.

As for all the pussies adding hair to your carpet…I had a childhood cat that made it to 26 years. The last of those she would be lying around in her skeletal existence, oblivious to anything, just to jump up five feet onto the window sill in the next moment to catch some lightning. Good times.

Mike Todd of different strokes assaulted a woman]

big news

“I am in fear of my life because I know Todd is mentally unstable and has weapons,” she wrote in documents obtained by The Blast, “including a CROSSBOW he says he has so he can ‘sneak up on people’ and a small loaded gun.”

Now if that doesn't ask for a Photoshop violation…

Mountain in Wales downgraded to hill

cnn.com/2018/08/18/uk/mountain-becomes-hill-in-wales/index.html

Attached: 180818155034-mountain-becomes-hill-in-wales-exlarge-169.jpg (780x438, 57.52K)

Irish teenager injured when hit by falling sheep in Mourne Mountains

joe.ie/news/irish-teenager-injured-637250

Attached: 29178819-2012213992126279-8571413894002037711-n.jpg (740x416, 39.59K)

I'll miss you Jonny Neptune. Please don't kill yourself if that's what you're planning. If it's cancer I pray for you a speedy recovery. If it's something positive…godspeed you wonderful bastard.
P.S. do yourself a favor and don't ever return. this place doesn't deserve you.

Germany lacks plan in case of alien contact

dw.com/en/germany-lacks-plan-in-case-of-alien-contact/a-45126643

You're a sociopathic troll,(sac) Andy

You're a sociopathic troll,(sac)Andy.

If you don't vent that sadism trolling on the net, you will hurt your family

Johnny Neptune everybody, the insane liberal who acts like he's older than 22

Any proof?

Remember: I think I'm the only person who loved it

I'm not leaving completely. I just have some things I need to focus on

You're absolutely right I'm a 'liberal', if that's the prescribed terminology you use to describe somebody who believes people should mind their own fucking business, and stop trying to control shit that's out of their control.

I've seen the most obscure stuff you never even heard of, so I bet I can dig yet another US cartoon show, as long as it's entertaining.

Attached: Mikrobi.jpg (570x332, 149.37K)

I'm really, really picky and weird

You might hate it

One of the main reasons I love it is because the way they apply and map 2D conventional 'drawings' (a very stylized 1940s look) onto 3D objects.

The aesthetics please me

Actually, Drink Crow himself is more of a 1937 style of graphic

I might…but then I have you to berate till the end of time, which is sweet as well.

Sounds really not interesting at all…can't wait to hate it.

Attached: C double O L.jpg (640x480, 29.56K)

Drinky* Crow

Hee Hee!!

I literally love being hated

So that'll work out fine

It's a-ok…if you can eat crow you might as well drink crow as well.

Naturally that comes with the pedigree of not being illiterate. Nothing sweeter than planting some intellectual seeds in front of a narrow mind and watch it seethe with anger as it tries to rip you to shreds…well and strawberries.

Cya Johnny, always knew it was an act

Attached: 31252d8ecddfe653dc58c68a9826501c--graphic-novels-apocalypse.jpg (236x351, 23.53K)

I'm NOTHING like this in real life

Because I come from a long line of illustrators, and my great-uncle used to illustrate for Disney back in the day, and I was basically born with a quill pen and bottle of India ink in my hand, PLUS I taught myself how to do full-blown 3D modeling and animation back on the Commodore Amiga before PCS could handle it, the fact that has old school quill pen style illustration and 3D animation is right up my alley

Like I said I'm really weird and picky

I gauge almost everything off of Aesthetics

For that reason alone simply for aesthetic reasons, I have NEVER watched even one single episode of The Simpsons, Family Guy, King of the Hill, South Park, etc etc

I absolutely refuse to watch any of those shows… Not even 10 seconds, let alone an entire episode

Attached: drinky_crow_by_rickz0r.png (459x459, 89.28K)

…. And I'm not leaving today…

I'm about to phase out of here and dissolve this week, but I'm probably going to stick around for a few days because of withdrawal symptoms

(I have been addicted to irritating people online for 26 years, and I am a severe junkie when it comes to that)

So just like heroin, I need to wean myself and then this weekend is going to be the beginning of a new era for me where I have to take care of some shit that I have been neglecting for a little while

But I'm going to occasionally pop in and out

Just to make sure nobody ever forgets

You heathen are missing out on such a gem

Attached: Dale.png (500x375, 192.98K)

So what?

Didn't read

I would have to look at that awful artwork to read your post

You don't judge a book by it's cover…come on, you know that. As for King of the Hill…the animation will escape your mind the second you're hooked on this lay back portrait of American life. It's one of those adult themed stories hiding behind a cartoon look. Like they tricked me as a child with Watership Down.

Attached: Watership Down.jpg (1000x1369, 283.48K)

Up with watersports

DEAR MOD,

there are other people who use picsart and NordVPN

no need to last out at THEM for MY sins

See ya later tonight

Lash*

...

Sasha Rose

(BEFORE THE HORRID PLASTIC SURGERY)

the most amazing pornstitute ever

You'll see… Be sure to find the videos BEFORE she destroyed her face and perfect tiny titties with plastic surgery

Attached: 063.jpg (499x750, 45.91K)

shit taste tbh

pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=694459741

Hahahaha suurrrrre

No, no, no…..

She was PERFECT…..

and then she disappeared

And when she returned, she had ruined herself

come out of the closet, user

Afraid to fuck A FEMALE in the ass 'because you are worried it might be gay' = gay

...