I masturbated to pictures of girls aged between 8-15 years old. They were fully clothed so it was legal but still morally evil. (basically candydoll-tier) I prayed for forgiveness instantly and now I feel really depressed. I've been struggling with this affliction for a few years now. I was jerking off to my usual material when I clicked on a link that redirected me to the images and my morbid sexual appetite took a hold of me.
I'm pretty sure this stems from my childhood. During my formative puberty years I would jerk off to my 2-year-younger-than-me sister daily. This continued from approximately the ages of 13 to the current day. I still sometimes fantasize about when we were both younger and I hate myself for it.
I have essentially allowed myself to turn into a pedophile and I can't stand it. I have prayed for forgiveness and asked the Lord to cleanse me of these horrible intrusive thoughts and desires.
I hope that it isn't too late as I don't want to burn in Hell.
I sinned horribly and now I want to kill myself
You're not currently dead and you're not currently in Hell, so it's not too late for you. However, you seriously need to repent and read the Bible like your life depends on it. What if you die tomorrow, what then? Get on your knees and pray like you've never prayed before, and we will all pray for you brother.
Keep up the faith, through Christ all sins can be forgiven. Remain steadfast in prayer and don't relapse.
I'll pray for you friend.
The only way it would be too late for you is if you actually did kill yourself. God forgives murderers and rapists, he can forgive you if you are repentant which clearly you are.
Repent my man.
Strengthen your faith in God through tears and promises you will never do it again.
Read the Bible and pray at least two times a day.
Master nofap and kill any desires you have. It is possible, many people have done it.
The LORD will forgive if you put all the effort you can muster to stop your sinning.
Good. You have acknowledged the severity of your sins and felt it gnawing your back; feeling disgusted by your sins and did not rationalise it or go with it without remorse. That is the first step to repentance. Strength your faith and pray.
If this isn't a LARP then go to a f'ing psychiatrist and start working on it. How the f' is that even in question ? Why do want people to open up to random internet people that can virtually do nothing ? Get your ass to a priest, Confess - if you're not Catholic, become Catholic, if you're not baptized, get baptized - and then drag your ass to a pyschiatrist under the priest's supervision so you can work both, on physical and spiritual levels on this.
You took the first step in realizing the disgusting thing you did. Now use that disgust to get moving and repent.
Repent user sincerely and you will be forgiven, we are all sinners.
is right, if you believe you are a pedophile go to a psychiatrist.
The fact that you haven't committed the even graver, abominable sin that I will not go into is a sign that you are not solely evil, repent and seek help from physical and spiritual sources.
God bless you user I believe you can overcome your sin.
Honestly, this.
These, wow OP that's a whallop. As others have said, the fact you're so disgusted by it shows your deep remorse. I genuinely feel there is hope for you, now take this advice. Will be praying for you OP, that's heavy shit.
You can be forgiven for that sick act, but if you kill yourself you go in hell.
Why do you want to act like Judas? He could have been forgiven and become a great Saint if he just waited instead of hanging himself
You never molested a child so your only real sin is masturbation.
Just start praying daily, confess your sins, repent and start NoFap.
Any paraphilia can be cured by NoFap, you just have to stay clean from the porn.
I'm not really a fan of (((psychiatrists))), I'd rather just make him go to a priest.
Besides they're already discussing pedophilia as just another sexual orientation so within 10 years the same (((psychiatrist))) will tell you it's all completely normal
Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.
Do not do this. Persecution and hysteria will be at your doorstep. Go to a Catholic priest, he can actually help… hopefully. At least the sanctity of the confessional is involved.
Prayer and fasting user, get that demon out of you.
repent and then confess to a real priest
CONFESS LAD
Stop exposing yourself to your temptations and stop masturbating as it is not worth and the desire will diminish with time.
COME OUT OF HER MY PEOPLE
If that means leaving the Babylonian internet all together, do it. Remove yourself for your temptations, pray, study the scriptures daily, confess to your fellowship your sins, and work it out. Make up for your sin by being a light in the world.
PAPISTS GET OUT
He's asking to change his life, not just become protestant.
I will never understand how can a man be so happy in his ignorance.
Don't go to satanic confession invented by Freud.
Go to a man interested in your soul and not a satanist interested in money.
This isn't even a matter of personal faith anymore. Get professional help. Seriously. Please do everything in your power in order to cleanse yourself of this. This is something you need to actively purge
I'd consider the harmony of your body, if any portion were removed or separate it would fall, it would disintegrate. God has you animate in this moment, alive, which is a detail that becomes subtle to you but is incredibly relevant. Why has God chosen to make you animate if there weren't incredible possibility? Sin was already conquered for you, just do good you idiot.
Well, that’s what porn does to you. I started with light, regular stuff. Next thing you know, I spent countless hours watching trans porn (inb4 tigga you gay). The normal porn gets boring, so you seek out weirder stuff. That’s the demonic nature porn and why everyone should stay away from it. This isn’t even a Christian issue anymore.
The bottom line is that you’re not a moral monster. You’re just an average sinner whose mind was warped by porn. It took me years to finally get sick of trans porn. I will be praying for you, brah.
You do realize There is a difference between psychology and psychiatry right?
Find a pastor, get some f'ing intense counseling. This is going to be a "if your right hand offends you, cut it off," kind of thing. You're pretty close to spending years in prison getting sodomized.
1) Repent
2) do something about it
Find a good Christian psychologist, not someone for whom the Scriptures aren't the ultimate standard.
Yeah a psychiatrist can prescribe you drugs.
I think it was St! Ven. Abp. Fulton Sheen who said that the upside of having sinned was that one who had sinned could claim Christ as a savior.
Abhorrent sexual urges and fetishes often come from low self esteem.
By feeling depressed and hating yourself for doing this, you are lowering your self esteem even more.
Stop the cycle, do something positive, and think positively.
You have identified the problem and admitted it here, that's the first part.
Now you have to choose to stop doing it.
Stop watching any porn at all, if you find yourself searching for it, then you will hear a little voice saying "don't do it", listen to that without any hesitation at all, close the browser and wipe the cache.
Then walk away from the computer and do something else.
Clean/tidy up, do some exercise, go for a walk.
Exercise is really good for aversion therapy, redirect yourself and your urges into that.
No fap for several weeks helps, although the first week or two are the hardest.
Stay busy, don't allow yourself privacy, stay around other people, keep your door/curtains open, spend much less time at the computer.
After 2-3 weeks, you won't feel the urges so strongly.
After perhaps a month of no fap, you can do it again once or twice a week, to your imagination, about a normal, loving encounter. Do it in the shower so you aren't near electronic devices.
After a few months, you will notice you have almost no thoughts of porn, or odd fetishes.
Your mind will feel cleaner, and clearer.
Apply yourself to constructive things and constructive thoughts.
If you slip up, don't make a big deal out of it, just pick yourself up and start again with a positive mindset of "great, I made it 6 days/2 weeks ", I can do it this time.
you're basically prescribing him doses of meth
You better hope God saves you boy
Don’t kill yourself user, you are in no way beyond salvation. Do however pray with all your heart, and stay the f away from this sort of stuff in the future. Don’t give this fetish any power over you, even if you sin sexually at least don’t do anything like this again. Right now you have the ability to never let this happen again. Christ can set you free from your slavery to perversion.
This, of course
Except become Orthodox instead
This, of course
Except become baptist instead
In all seriousness this whole situation is very dire, i would speak to your denoms religious leader immediately and seek help. Also pray like you have never prayed before and beg both for forgiveness and for God to lead you onto a better path.
Honestly i have been really slacking with my devotion recently so take my advice with a grain of salt but no matter what, seek help both from God and from man. I am rooting for you user.
So you've harmed nobody and you haven't even broken the law? Sure, child sexual abuse is possibly the worst crime there is, but you haven't actually commited it, apart from in your mind. How many Catholic priests have raped and abused children, how many, many more have fantasized about it? You are not worse than them. Don't beat yourself up about it, confess to a priest and repent, that's how you become a servant of God again. It is a symptom of modernity to make child sexual abuse the ultimate sacrilege, because everything else has become permissable, but in fact, there are many sins almost as bad as it: Men laying with men, adulterly, fornication.
Remember that the Theotokos was 12 when she became pregnant, and 13 when she gave birth to Christ. Marrying girls in their early teens isn't the social norm anymore, but lusting after them isn't any worse than lusting after women in their 20s.
It's up to you whether you want a pozzed up feminist morality, where all fornication is okay if it's within some age rules, or a true Christian morality where all forms of fornication are terribly sinful, some more than others.
P.S.: Don't go to a psychologist, aka "Devil's confession". If a priest can't help you he isn't worth his job.
Just couldn’t help yourself could you? I suppose you don’t think pedophiles hide in your Church either?
Unfortunately they do, but nowhere near as many as in the Roman Catholic Church.
Statistics show that there are no disproportionate amount of pedophiles in the catholic Church than elsewhere.
But hey, the narrative right?
sage, is this where the logic of people disliking marijuana come from?
not op or anything, but I thought I always heard the priest would snitch on you the moment you say anything awry? Am I correct in some manner?
He's not wrong.
If I hadn't got out of the porn game as soon as I did, I'd probably have been looking for more hardcore stuff too.
Praise God I'm out now.
Also I've smoked weed for a long time with long periods in between. NEVER had I wanted to try anything harder, but maybe everything work differently to each person.
Technically priests are under vows to keep shut. If a problem is really real, I'd think they'd help the person get in contact with a doctor. Though I also suppose it's not impossible they'd snitch anonymously too…
Christ came to call sinners to repentance, he came to heal the sick, not the saintly and proud. The more you realize you are weak and dependent on God the more he can work on you and uplift you. The more you think you have the power to change yourself, through your own discipline and strength the less he can work on you. You have to rely on God not your own power.
Damn glad i aint the only one that wishes to kill himself when doing a wicked sin. No wonder iscariot hanged himself.
*Elsewhere in secular institutions in this degenerate day and age. NOT ELSEWHERE in other Churches.
If the priest snitches on you then the shrink will even more so.
You must do both. You must do the lionshare of the work, but God will help you with the obstacles on your way which would have been insurmountable otherwise.