A thread on pregnancy, labor and parenting children

"And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me."
I will officially be a parent within the next week or so. I am interested in Zig Forums's views on raising children.
So far my partner are at least comitted to: no screen time until at leat 10, and even then supervised. Homeschooling. Healthy diet. And of course church and Bible.
What do you guys think of Epidurals and vaccines also?
We're inclined to take a more holistic approach particularly with birth, but would not refuse medical intervention in an emergency.
How many anons here have children?

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I would be careful about pushing Christianity too hard on your kid, if you browse r/atheism or any other atheist site you'll notice the majority of fedora tippers are born out of a general "winnie the pooh you, Dad!" mentality of people rebelling against overly restrictive parents.

The best thing you can do is be the best father you can possibly be. Lavish your child with attention, make time for them, don't be overly strict (but at the same time put your foot down and use discipline when you need to) and build a bond of understanding so when they do reach that age when they begin questioning you'll be ready to guide them down the right path.

If you go ahead with that plan you posted I guarantee that your kid will reject Christ and become a Dawkins fanatic as soon as they hit 16. You can't shield your child from the world forever, and the tighter your grip the harder they'll try to rebel against you when the time comes. What you need to do is give them the guidance and knowledge necessary to know why secular society is wrong.

Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your child and I wish you the best on your journey as a father.

Epidurals are a bad idea. Everyone woman I know that got one ending up with a C-section and the kid came out drugged up to high hell. See, the epidural makes it so the woman doesn't dialate as fast, and then it wears off, and then there's complications. Just don't do it, labor for women that took it was more painful and unsuccessful than my wife who I taught to just disconnect from the pain and suck it up - which she's done like a champ and managed to have her kids vaginally.

Nothing wrong with having the baby in a hospital though, that's safest, but if wifey is in good condition, home is pretty safe too. I'd err on the side of hospital.

Vaccines- Get them. Don't let an idiot tell you otherwise. So, 1st, let's say the moron was actually right when he found a correlation in that first autism-vaccine study. Even if he was right, the tiny % change of autism is better than the kids dying of whooping cough, measles, etc. Enough idiots aren't doing the vaccines now where you can't count on being a free-rider.

Second, they've tried to replicate the studies - they can't. So, if vaccines did at one point cause autism, big Pharma went "oh winnie the pooh," and immediately fixed the problem and discredited the whistle blower- but, as far as we go, the problem is fixed. So, there's no chance of you're kid getting autism from them now.

However, if you want to be very particular, insist your kid only take single-dose vaccines (ask the administering nurse) because multi-dose vials use mercury to stop contamination but that does have some small percentage adverse effects. Single-dose vaccines are a little more expensive but don't carry that risk.

I have 2 kids

TL;DR - No epidural, give the kids vaccines.

On this matter, while I am not trained in this field, this appears a good idea. You need to make sure that your child is socialized with others. The mistake of state schooling is that they socialize people only with those of the same age, hence you get youth culture.

It used to be that children were socialized with adults, and thus acted like adults.

It's very important that you yourself set a good example. Your kid won't respect you and listen to you if you set rules for him and yet don't abide by them yourself.

Not exactly true. If you go see small tribes, kids still hang around with each other and have loose assignments attached to their day as they play. But they also spend time learning to do specific things with adults.

However, arbitrarily having kids hang out with only the group born in one year is obviously not how nature would have it. Maria Montessori showed kids learned much better when there was a large swath of ages in a single classroom - but people have largely ignored the only decently scientific study of education in the last century because it goes against our "factory" model of education.

Home-schooling is a great idea, but be part of a home schooling group, think deeply about what you want to teach and why, and be willing to break out of all the ineffective paradigms.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. — Psalm 127:35

Make lots of babies.
Understand your faith well and pass it only gently and lovingly. Make it fun and exciting.

I don't have kids because I have autism and I have the distinct feeling that if I have kids they'll be autistic too, and I wouldn't want any kid suffering that. It sounds selfish, and it probably is, but is it better to have a kid that I can't do right for or don't have a kid at all?

I'm far from being a parent, but one of the things I worry the most about is education. This mostly stems from my education being a big factor of why I'm far from being a parent, I'm a complete social mess that's unable to communicate with women. I went to a Christian private school from K-6 and then homeschooled through the rest of highschool. I'm nearly what people here say they want to happen to their children, but in certain ways things could not be worse and I think it is largely associated with these schooling choices. Christian school can be great or terrible, I would just recommend being willing to pull out immediately if things aren't working out. For me Christianity was used at school to push feminine standards on boys and support a constant watchful administration that I suspect ingrained in me the constant feeling of judgement from others and fear of what others think of me. Homeschooling can be done well, my old best friend from highschool is one of the most social people I know, married young and working as a pastor, but I've also seen how it can lead to seclusion.Also if you go that though you need to trust your wife to educate your kids, I have seen some absolutely retarded stuff passed off as education. Maybe I don't fear public education because I wasn't directly exposed to it, but right now that's what I'm most inclined towards for my children, but part of that stems from my not expecting to be able to afford quality private education

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This. This so much i vacant stand it. Theee kids get so angry at God because their dads get them up on the weekend, one of the days they want to sleep in and play PS1, and forces them to dress nice to go to church. What a pathetic reason, perfect background for the average atheist; a baby that wants everything by doing nothing

Most of these angry atheists don't have fathers or their fathers are Atheist. At least, that's been the case with the many Atheists I know. I know the meme is fedoras arguing about God at Thanksgiving dinner but, from my experience, those dinners happen with an absentee dad.

Sheltered kids turn on their parents if the parents have used their religion to exert control for personal dominance. If, instead, you've aptly prepared your kid for the world, they'll thank you. It depends on why you're doing it and whether you're really letting God be in control of their education. Many home schooled kids are very happy about it come adulthood when they see the degeneracy of their peers in college.

Good if you live in a kiked country
Good
This too
Most of them are necessary. Don't put your kids health in risk for some autism with no medical support
Don't winnie the pooh risk it. Your wife could bleed out even if you called the doctors in after. Do it in an hospital like everyone. I've heard that in America they like to do births by C section. Well only do it if its really necessary. Natural birth under medical supervision is still the master race.

What about vaccines for STDs (HPV, HIV, etc)? Would you let them take it?

I have six children. Nothing you think or plan will come to fruition. Every child is different and you won't know anything until it happens. You truly cannot prepare.

As for an epidural, that ain't up to you. If she asks for it, she will get it. Your opinion won't be requested or required.

Yes, for all that is good and holy, vaccinate your damn kids! If not, then you can look your child, laying at deaths door with reubella, and say, "I could have prevented this."

Oh, and if you're not educated, don't homeschool. The world doesn't need more idiots.

you indeed should raise them.

there should be a father present in the house and he must be the authority. meaning the wife should have no access to the family court system and the children should not have access to cps.

you should own your house outright, you should not finance your house through usury or fiat currency loan. this is a consummable.

you should trade in tangible contracts and only use precious metals as money.

you should feed your children only meat that was raised not eating genetically modified grass or fodder.

always have the audio kjv playing while they sleep on loop.

your homeschooling curriculum should be based on actually executing functions. children should learn english exclusively from the bible, and the rest of their curriculum should be elementary applied engineering with simple tools, qualitative and quantitative chemistry, html and visual basic programming, and firearm safety, usage, and assembly.

epidurals and vaccines will sap your children’s vitality and lead to reduction in skeletal bone density, autistic and schizotypal tendencies, and premature greying.

i hear water birth is the way to go.

surprisingly i have no kids.

That was genuinely funny.

If you have control of your wife, it certainly does matter. Teach her how to calm herself, counting and breathing techniques, and keep her focused on other things than the pain. Also, tell nurses/doctors to politely winnie the pooh off if they keep offering it.

As long as you're supportive and keeping her focused, she'll be on board with you. Confidence and support are key; epidurals happen when you let her panic.

Yeah, cause there's other ways to get STDs than fornication.

Sure, it's usually sex, but sports injuries, accidents, etc. can open you up to that shit and it would be a heck of a price to pay just to teach them a lesson about premarital sex.

Is this the good old "all right-wingers are uneducated rednecks" meme?

I agree. Or if their families were Christian they were lukewarm and failed to prepare the kids with proper defenses against secularism.
I don't plan on sheltering my kid, really. But when they come to me and want to watch some secular show or paly some violent video game, I'll sit down and ask them questions and point out any advertisments, the differences between real life vs. waht they're seeing, how the particular piee of media may go against God's will, etc.

You have no metric by which to compare it. You also don't seem to understand that when she's in the hospital to give birth, she is the patient - not you. You don't even have to be in the room and, as a matter of fact, you have to have her permission to be in the room. If she wants an epidural, she will get it. Period. If you try to refuse her pain medication, then you are a terrible husband and will be an even worse father.

LOL no. This is the argument feminists use to say why men cannot opine on abortion "it can't happen to you, you don't understand." Fallacious logic is fallacious logic. I know what pain is, further, I've personally experienced pain- extreme pain. I've also taught myself to pray through the pain and it helps a lot more in the long-term than medication.

Of course I understand she is the patient. Why would you suggest I don't?

Yep. Which she always grants because I'm her best support while getting through birth. Which shes done amazingly twice, no epidural.

This is not true. If she demands an epidural, she will get it. Look, when in extreme duress, we all may want things that are not good for us. Starving men cannibalize other men. Do you think allowing cannibalism is warranted? People in extreme pain will, if not reminded of their sane mind, do anything to stop said pain.

My wife never wanted an epidural going in. She knew that it created complications and caused more C-sections. When the pains of labor were front and center, she wanted anything to make the pain stop- but I kept her focused, reminded her of her goal, got her to breath and count and we managed to get through without her demanding it from the nurses. She was very proud of herself afters, and very happy she didn't have one. Before labor started she didn't want it, after labor she was glad she didn't have it. Frankly, I don't think women in the midst of labor are cognizant enough to be entrusted with their own healthcare choices- if it's as overwhelming as they say, clearly they can't make a rational choice and there preferences -before- they were reduced to a state of crazy pain should be the ones guiding the physician. We normally don't allow patients not in their right mind to make decisions for themselves.

But, since I know our medical situation is winnie the poohed in this regard, I just got her to focus on me and shake her head when the nurse asked about an epidural. As a result, she's had two healthy babies vaginally while all her friends had to have C-sections (literally, all of them except the one who also didn't have an epidural because she's crazy tough) because the baby's heart rate started dropping (thanks to prolonged labor because of the epidural).

If you can't coach your wife through birthing, and do what's best for her and your baby, saving them from unnecessary pain medication and complications… I'm not going to mirror your crap. You're an average husband, doing what everyone else does out of a weak will. It's understandable, but it's luke-warm and it's of the world. Women got through six millenia, at least, without epidurals. Come on now.

Also, I don't see how wanting my baby to come out all not-drugged-up is being a bad father. The difference in an epidural baby and a baby without is obvious. Our kids came out inquisitive and active. All the epidural kids basically had to sleep off the tranqs for a week or two and were super lethargic, which also lead to difficulty latching and their mothers giving up breast feeding for formula because they couldn't stand their newborn not having the strength the pull the milk out naturally.

So, yeah, not fighting the epidural also hurts your kid's immune system for the first two years and who knows what the drugs do to the mind of a newborn.

Ok, I will counter your anecdote with mine. Six kids, epidural every time, not a single damn problem with any of them. My six beats your two. There is nothing wrong with an epidural.

scienceandsensibility.org/p/bl/et/blogid=2&blogaid=749

At the very least, epidurals are risky and should be a Plan B. Here's a bunch of studies supporting the general likelihood they epidurals complicate labor, so your anecdotal evidence countered with actual evidence.

I'm very glad that your six came out fine; and congrats on six kids. I'm glad there's no problems with your kids but you can't be sure they wouldn't have been better off without them - did your wife breastfeed them all?

What I don't understand is why you're so combative to a brother in Christ who's just trying to protect people from this generally over-medicated world. Your position doesn't seem to be very Christian.

Also, even your opinion of the anecdotal evidence is off. I know 3 woman who had epidurals and had to have C-Sections. I know 2 woman (1 with 1 child, 1 with 2) who did not have epidurals and did not need C-Sections.

Even including your stats, still:
-3 natural / no C-Section
-9 epidural / 3 C-Sections.

Suggests that there is a 33% increase in chance of C-section by taking an epidural and, more to the point, it's possible that your wife is an anamoly since she's the only woman I know that didn't have a C-section after an epidural. So, no, your anecdotal evidence doesn't counter mine.

Additionally, why did you ignore every other point I made? I'm not relying solely on my experiences, I explained why - for instance the fact that we went at least 6 millenia without epidurals- as reasoning for why it's not a big deal. You didn't counter any of the other points even though they were, in many cases, direct counters to your own in the early post.

I'm not being combative. I am on the side of science because of medicine. Medicine is a good and important thing in the world and having it is usually worth the potential cost of complications. Much like the vaccines argument - on which we agree.

My wife is a small woman, small frame, and it was a choice between epidural or C-section. We chose epidural because we wanted more than one child and after the first C-section, the options become very limited due to scarring of the uterus. So, as you see, every situation is different. There is no blanket "this or that". For example, current science shows a correlation between coffee drinkers and lowered sperm count. I drink coffee a lot. Love the stuff. But I'm pretty sure my sperm count is fine based on all these rugrats.

Yes, 5 of the kids were breastfed, but the 2nd youngest was born with a slight palate problem and could not properly latch on to the breast. No big deal, really. Problem has long since been fixed.

I don't like going down walls of text with point by point replies. Fact is, I have 6 kids and every one was born with the mother having an epidural. No birth complications, no lethargic babies, and no long term effects (my oldest is 20 and in college). Is there the possibility of epidural side effects? Yes. But to tell a prospective parent (like OP) that he's going to damage his child if his wife gets pain medication or that he's not the right kind of man because he can't make his wife fight pain is not only presumptive, but it's scare tactic bullying (which is why the anti-vaxxer movement is getting so big).

Fact is, neither of us know. It's all an exercise in academics.

As someone who was homeschooled by a former teacher I approve of that. It's not necessarily that you need to be formally educated as a teacher to homeschool, but I've seen some pretty straight up stupid people homeschooling their children who definitely should have chose a different option. If you don't know math you shouldn't teach your children math, if you don't know history you shoudln't teach your children history, etc. You can learn these things to teach them to your children, but if you're learning them just a few months before your children you can end up using Myth Busters as your science curriculum, only slightly joking.

I'm not being combative. I am on the side of science because of medicine. Medicine is a good and important thing in the world and having it is usually worth the potential cost of complications. Much like the vaccines argument - on which we agree.

Science is great. Pain medication doesn't treat problems, it treats symptoms. I love science, medicine and science don't always get along- for instance, the high rate a C-sections in medicine despite science suggesting it's unnecessary and damaging.

So, your first came by C-section, right? Thank you for admitting this. Epidurals cause the biggest incidence of c-section in first time births (see also the link I provided). Scarring of the uterus can make women barren on top of difficult birthing (embryo can't attach / doesn't attach properly)- thank God this didn't happen to your wife, but it happens to many first time mothers thanks to epidurals causing C-sections.

I'm glad you got six kids, that God protected you, and it worked out for you but I'm trying to protect OP and anyone else reading from the -possible- but real complications of epidurals.

Our society is vastly over-medicating pain right in science's face. The reason the U.S. life expectancy went down for the first time in decades last year was due to deaths from opiod addiction.

I'm not trying to scare OP, I'm trying to set OP on the ideal course. Scarring of the uterus was a big concern of ours and why we didn't want C-section because we want more kids. Epidurals increase risk of C-section, especially in first births. Also, most parents with all babies having had epidurals don't know the difference of babies without. I only know because our kid was born once month after our friend's kid who had a C-section and epidural and the difference was still obvious. Difference in awareness went away after 2-3 months, but still, that can't be good.

And the biggest issue - if the woman goes in thinking epidural is not an option and sure she doesn't want one, most of the time they come through fine (your case I understand is an reasonable exception because of the scarring issue- but the scarring might have been prevented had you known about this). But if you tell a woman she can escape the pain, without mentioning all of the potential downsides - what do you expect the choice will be? That's why I hate epidurals- the doctors only sell the upsides so they can do more C-sections and make more money.

No. That's not what I said. The choice was given to have a C-section because her small frame would make labor very difficult. She chose to not get a C-section, opting instead for an epidural to ease the pain of labor. It worked out just fine.

Then how'd she get the scarring on the uterus?

Reminder that if you tell your kids about Santa Claus, you're implicitly lying to them and could potentially cause them to further doubt the faith once older.
Tell them about Saint Nicholas of Myra instead.

You aren't going to like these quotes, gird up thine loins right now and read on.

Proverbs 3:5-8
I pray for wisdom, I put the bible before scientific studies. But why, when the bible doesn't make a specific point, should we not also utilize studies?

Taken to its logical conclusion, you shouldn't be relying on your knowledge of English (taught to you by men) instead of God. But, then, how could you even read the bible? It's a paradox that's unsolvable with your reading.

No one's arguing science isn't secondary to the truth of Christ.

Man, did you read this out of context. Romans 14 is how it is right for each of us to do in faith what we think is right. I believed God wanted me to get my kids vaccinated, that's why He led me to the knowledge of them. If you're sure that's not what he wants you to do, then go in faith brother. Still, I'll be glad when my kids don't get those preventable diseases. And, if you'd listen to Romans 14 - it's telling you not to reproach me just because our faith has moved us differently.

It was right for me to reply to OP though, because by asking he suggested he hadn't been moved by God one way or the other.

I do trust in the Lord, I believe He works through other methods than simply miracles- though I believe He does miracles too.

Anything not of faith is sin romans 14:23. There is a reason in the faith to use words to communicate in the english tongue. That reason being 1 corinthians 14:19-22,26

I assume you're a troll. If not, you have some major conceit my friend.

Romans 14:

You are testifying of Jesus Christ are you not? revelation 19:10
If you are testifying of Jesus Christ you are claiming to speak by the spirit of prophecy i.e a prophet.

She didn't. Re-read what I wrote.
We knew that C-sections scarred the uterus, so we chose not to have one.

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Hmm … Christian Scientist or Jehovah's Witness? I can't tell.

That's absolute nonsense.
Children have always followed the footsteps of their parents. Despite what your talmudic imagery.
None of what you said has any basis on reality, it's all fabrications of your head through implicit midiatic suggestibility. Why do you think there are so many movies about rebelling teens, and why is rock/rap music built around it.

Don't let your kids consume any midiatic content before majority and that is not explicitly Christian. Anyone here who does not adhere to this rule is ruled by images implanted by the ungodly. And I use ungodly here to not call them satanists.

This is my wife's plan and mine. She's been doing exercised, but I am worried if I see her in such agonizing pain and she changes her mind I will agree with her. She has a medium frame and is in good shape though and from what I have seen has a high pain tolerance so I'm hoping it just doesn't get to that point.

My main problem w/ vaccines was actually MRC-5 and WI-38 cultures. I understand it was a one time thing with each culture but it still troubles me that it is directly benefiting from an aborted fetus.

If it's a real medical emergency, the doctor's will stop asking, they'll start telling. They'll try and push epidurals like a shifty crack dealer in an alleyway, ignore them. Your wife's pain will be awful to watch, but your job as a man is to stay strong for her, she's counting on you.

I get your point but the facts was an aborted fetus didn't have to be used - adult stem cells are a thing. This tech could exist without abortion, it just doesn't because evil people run our medical field.

I feel you here, and the good the vaccine does doesn't outweigh the initial evil deed (especially since there were alternative methods) yet, all of that being the case, should we cause or risk more death because of evil? If good can be accomplished, let it be accomplished but never forget to argue against evil. Never say the way they made these vaccines was a good thing, but neither should we refuse good because one of the creators of the good made it with evil methods.

Alright you guys with your expansive Zig Forums families, I have an idea! Tell me what you think. It's called the "k-days day"!

Rather than tire out your wallet throwing parties and celebrations for each and every birthday that comes along in the year, you instead get some kind of calendar-calculator app or website or what-have-you-not, find out the dates of the days your children will be 1000 days old, 2000 days old, etc. and celebrate those instead! You can celebrate your kid's 1k-days day or more! With this, you're only throwing parties once every 2 years and 9 or so months too, saving oodles of money and because 1000 is still an impressive number, the holiday still seems to matter. What do you think?

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This is by far the lamest attempt at trolling I've ever seen on this board, and I've seen many a lame troll in my day…

We do birthdays for all our kids, dummy. You just buy the bounce house instead of renting it, duh. Pays for itself in a year if you have enough.

How about a better idea, just outright stop celebrating the customs of the heathen like birthdays and the pagen holiday of yule/xmas/(((christmas))) because jeremiah 10:2-5
Also since anything not of faith is sin romans 14:23, is there even a reason in the faith to celebrate pagen customs? No? So it is sin. Rather if you want to celebrate follow the example of the old testament feast days or luke 15:27-32
>And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

Are you a JW?

Christmas is alright because it's about Jesus' birth. The Christmas tree is just because it's pretty, it's not an idol. No one thinks the tree is a god or representative of a god anymore.

Where does the bible say Christmas is alright because it's about Jesus' birth?

Where in the bible does it say you can't celebrate Jesus' birth?

Look, nothing is unlawful. I admit some thing may not be beneficial but the spirit of Christmas: altruism, giving, celebrating Christ's birth- these things are certainly beneficial to the Christian. If some attendant carry-overs of paganism attach, but we don't worship them nor care about their significance other than motif, it's fine. Remember, nothing is unlawful, the only concern is usefulness.

It's a sin to worship God in any way not in the bible

Satan = Satan

Jesus was a socialist and this shit is literally ALL consumerism. Don't be fooled by Zig Forums's pretty images. Jesus would have been a voting democrat in this day and age and we all KNOW that Christmas was invented by RUPERT MURDOCH'S CABAL OF COLA

Where in the bible does it say that?

Ashes and Echoes

Leviticus 10:1-3

No, that says it's a sin to act in a way contrary to the Lord's commandments and is applicable specifically to the ceremonial law.

It says nothing about acting in a way which there is no command regarding it and in which way supports the spirit of the law.

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