Alright people, I really need your help

Alright people, I really need your help.
I've been a practicing orthodox for around a year and I received chrismation on holy saturday. I believe in the orthodox view of salvation, theosis, and all dogmas. However I FEEL no attraction to the church but the opposite, I still feel an outsider, I don't particularly like the DL, not do I feel connected to the saints, etc. I know it is been repeated again and again that feeling is not a guide for truth but I don't know anymore…
You see, ever since before my chrismation I was really attracted to the catholic church, its spirituality, I feel a connection with its saints, I feel peace during the mass, I like the rosary, etc. However, intellectually, I just can't accept many of its dogmas (sinless mary, co-rexemptrix, mediatrix, papal primacy, penal substitution instead of theosis), also the current state of the church make me very uneasy but I know this shouldn't affect my choice.
What can I do about this inside split between my heart and my mind? It's killing me, I don't feel at home in the world nor in the church, I feel lost and distant from my faith. I can't seem to fully commit until both my heart and mind is in full faith, until then I am just constantly bouncing one side or the other in my mind. Also I fear so much damnation that I always fear I am believing something wrong, and maybe I am not in the right place, that I can't seem to take the risk to settle. This has been a major annoyance too.
Pray for me brothers and help me on this issue.

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That question might belong in the orthodox general thread. Other than that - I'm not orthodox but Catholic, but nonetheless - how long have you been in now ? Overall I mean. It's not like you "must feel it" although that's an often recurring theme.
If you can't accept Catholic Church teaching I must tell you something: You don't decide what the Truth is, not the least over your feelings. But anyway - you sound like you lack regular prayer. People that don't have a prayer rule - or at least pray and meditate a bit every day - often seem to struggle with their faith and "feeling it".
Try that - and for the sake of love, talk to your confessor/priest about this instead of searching deeply spiritual advice on a chinese cartoon blanket knitting forum.

God bless you on your ways and I hope everything goes well ! Don't be discouraged, get a spiritual guide.

I don't want strictly orthodox answers, but nonetheless should I delete this thread and post in the orthodox thread?

Stay where you feel the Church has true beliefs. I haven't really liked going to church in a while, but usually it's still to my benefit one way or another so I go. I'm more a fan of Western aesthetics myself and two of my favorite spiritual activities are the rosary and the stations of the cross, so I do them, but I really do wish I could do them in an Orthodox church more than like once a year when I make my way to a Western Rite church. It sucks when your feelings and your beliefs are at odds, but I think you need to just embrace it as a struggle that you're in now and will probably pass. I'll second a prayer rule and talking to your priest, and if you don't already have a rule talk through it with your priest, don't just make up your own or you'll probably ditch it as easily as you created it. You don't need to delete your thread, but you might get some more help in the other thread, but the same people probably will end up here.

Of course not. I was juts being a bit overly strict. But please, contact your priest about this.

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JUST GO WESTERN RITE ORTHODOX

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I wish, closest western rite church to me is a 3 hours drive, so 6 hours to go and come back…

First pic is the church I visit some times. Really nice people and they had a meal after most of the services I've gone to where you can actually talk to people and stuff. Also if you go to a western rite church see if they have the black prayer book with golden letters, I think its called St. Benedicts prayer book or some other Western saint, lots of nice stuff that's not in most Orthodox prayer books like prayers to Joseph, the rosary, and some other stuff, also a nice examination in preparation for confession

High Church Lutheranism

Ya, he can go to either of them

What's your problem with the DL? The Mass is nearly identical you know. They have the same structure.

Have you been to a divine liturgy?

Every Sunday, yes.

And you've been to a mass? Sure they're closer than protty services, but they aren't nearly identical.

Same structure, extremely different execution

I also go to Mass every Sunday evening.
Mass has an organ instead of singing, and the anaphora is shorter. Big deal.


Not really. Sure, they're two different traditions, and the Roman Catholic liturgy mirrors the usual distinction between Western and Eastern ecclesiological focus (West focuses more on the Corss, East focuses more on Pentecost), notably with how the moment of consecration happens at the words of institution. But the differences are frankly minor. An organ instead of a choir, no iconostasis, the priest faces the people.

Anyway, I repeat my question

What's your problem with the DL?

Nothing really, I just happen to prefer mass. There is a stillness and peace in mass that I don't find in DL. That's all really. That's why I said I don't particularly like it, it is only a matter of feelings, which my whole post is about. I have nothing agaisn't DL doctrinally.

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If possible, can you tell what you like in the spirituality of the Catholic church and its saints?

Tbh I get the best of both worlds - a big fancy Divine Liturgy on Sundays, and a more quiet and toned down Divine Liturgy on Wednesdays (since nobody shows up). I feel lucky.

Try "Blessed"

DL is so great when there aren't squealing kids, old Russian women gibbering to each other in rigger, and some random Greek on his phone with his bookie.

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Yeah, everyone standing packed together with kids yelling and people smelling. Unfortunately my schedule don't allow me to go to vespers or other less busy services.

God is calling you to stop ortholarping and join his Church.

Not the best reasoning. Many people leave the church because they "cant accept" the churches teaching on abortion or homosexuality. It doesnt make their feelings valid. The church has been around 2,000 and developed a very deep theology that nobody on earth can fully understand. It's our responsibility to accept that we wont understand it all.

Come home brother

Catholic in the opposite situation here.
We must accept that after schism both churches produced saints and were vehicles of grace.
To me there is really no answer, the only apparent thing is that the claims both churches make about the other are wrong, at least in part.

Sometimes I wish we could just undo all the philosophizing and return to simple Apostolic theology.

Oh me too brother, the schism has been such a terrible wound on the body of Christ. It seems both church are missing something the other has

Ironic.

Are you thinking Tridentine or Missae Paul VI?

Tridentine

yeah, the catholic church is missing schism and potentially heresy. oh how we miss that… except no. the orthodox church really does allow and permit grave sin, such as divorce, birth control, and says things like st. francis of assisi was under "muh prelest", amongst other nonsensical things liek muh fire on an inaccurate calendar.

meanwhile we have eucharistic miracles, marian apparitions, the most holy rosary, and well a full real church. oh we're missing ex-prot OrthoLARPers, yeah we're oh so incomplete without them haha.

BEGOME EASTERN GADOLIG

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Orthodoxy has a monastic tradition in better shape than Catholic orders (despite their glorious history).
I say they also have a more developed spiritual fatherhood, even though it's a consequence of the first point.
For now they also lack the widespread infestation of modernistic bishops, I don't think they are immune like they claim

Their immunity is the lack of a centralized bureaucracy that the Catholics have. The majority of bishops are still drawn from the monasteries as well.

ya this is a good compromise.