Neptune's Life Advice™
Have you ever needed to do something questionable and surreptitiously?
of course you have. everybody has.
well, the next time you need to do something that seems suspicious, and you're concerned people might see you and call the police, you might want to try Johnny Neptune's famous technique of making your suspicious activities seem legitimate and understandable:
SAY YOU'RE TRYING TO FIND YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S 'LOST CAT'
That's right, you can get away with almost any suspicious behavior by simply saying you are trying to find your girlfriend's lost cat, even if you don't have a girlfriend or you don't have a cat.
Even if you're driving around in circles, parking in the darkness, crawling around in the bushes, creeping under people's windows, no matter what you're doing that looks suspicious, if a policeman or a civilian stops you and questions you, all you have to do is say "My girlfriend's cat got away from her yesterday, and I promised her I'd find it for her."
EVERYBODY knows how stealthy cats are, and how hard they are to catch, so it will seem totally believable that you would be using odd looking behavior to try to find a cat.
Most cops are 'dog people', so you should pretend that you're not particularly fond of this alleged 'girlfriend's cat', and act like you're kind of irritated that you have to go looking for it.
I've used this technique several times in my life, and it's always worked perfectly without fail.
The cops will always say, "good luck finding it" then leave you to continue crawling around outside somebody's house or driving around suspiciously.
try it the next time you're doing sneaky shit.
