A short, stout, tiny teapot has released a tell-all autobiography, in which all the sordid details of its anatomy are being laid out in the open for anyone to read.
During an impromptu press conference announcing the upcoming autobiography, the teapot was quoted as saying
"I'm a little teapot Short and stout Here is my handle" (that's when he put one hand on his hip)
"Here is my spout" (and he held his other arm out straight)
CNN reporter Anderson Cooper seemed disappointed that it wasn't the same spout he was hoping to see, so he asked the teapot, "what happens if you get all steamed up?"
The teapot replied "When I get all steamed up Hear me shout"… "Tip me over and pour me out!" (that's when the teapot leaned over towards his spout)
Fox News has reported that the teapot is not very clever, which the teapot addressed.
"I'm a clever teapot, Yes it's true Here let me show you What I can do I can change my handle And my spout" (he switched his arm positions)
"Just tip me over and pour me out!" (and again, he leaned over towards his spout)
In an unrelated story, Bambi's father is destroyed by a shiveringly excited little girl.. I remember my oldest daughter's first kill. I'll try to round up the video of that. It'll probably go viral. She literally stabbed it with a steak knife. In her defense it was a mouse in our kitchen cupboard. I'll try to find the video. It's pretty close up. JewTube b& it, but it's fine for a shithole like 8ch..
I think it was very brave of the teapot to describe his anatomy like this. it takes s lot of courage to come out and admit that you're a fat manlet who's so out of shape that you can only lean over.
Cooper Allen
Nah. Drinkers of every kind are welcomed. Get on my level..
Not everyone around here is this brave. What a better world this would be..
Chase Gomez
Thank you BO for realizing this was not really a news article, but more spam aimed at sliding actual news threads.
Isaac Gutierrez
Ahh fuck.. Anchored again. No fun allowed? serious crabposting ensues..
William Parker
Fuck off Kilcen. You don't need more enemies, do you? If you thought your life was miserable and the whole world was against you before.. Hmmm… I've got some ideas… You really feel like your food and gun stash is well protected enough? I wonder if you sleep much. You won't be able to soon. I'd get a guard-cat if I was you..
Ryder Ward
Classic.
Jack Jenkins
Yeah, I remember the days. These 2 have gone at it before.
Tyler Foster
You underestimate my level of paranoia and DIY threat mitigation. Trust me. You would not stand a chance making it out alive if you came near my property.
Aiden Williams
kilcen, JN here……
I wholeheartedly support your right to report these superfluous, destructive threads. I agree that this thread was designed to slide your 'REAL NEWS', and I say you need to put a stop to it !!
good work, dudely dude….
keep it up
Oliver Lewis
Thank you Johnny, you are welcome to shitpost on my threads and mock me any day. I enjoy your company.
