While at university I ended up meeting a really nice girl and to my surprise she liked me too so we hooked up.
About 2 months later I met her parents and found out that she's Jewish. They are practicing Jews but they're not Orthodox Jews I'm pretty sure they're Reform and they're sort of left which I why I never bring up politics or religion when I visit. Personally I don't know how they reconcile some of their beliefs with Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 but that's not the point of this post.
Anyway, I've really fallen for this girl. We've been together for two years and despite difference in some of our values and culture we've made it together. We're both fresh out of uni now and I want to marry her, thing is my Church doesn't allow me to marry non-baptized persons which is a real problem here. If she was in another Christian denomination then it would be allowed but she's not baptized or Christian at all. Her parents would be fine allowing me to marry her in a Jewish ceremony without me actually converting to Judaism though. Well the other day I tried to convince her about joining my Church and then maybe we could think about getting married and it went something like this:
Only marriage question you should ask "Will being bonded with this other person allow me to serve God better than if I was alone?" Sounds to me that you're flirting with unequal yoking because of oxytocin
You've got to get her to convert man. It's obvious that your religious beliefs are extremely important to you while her traditions are really only relevant to her because of her family. Get her to attend services with you and let her see you pray.
She's opened to conversion, the problem is her parents.
PS: persecuting jews as revenge was a mistake tbh…
But I've fallen in love with her, this is the first time I've truly felt love for another person like this and I can't be without her man. She completes me. We're going to talk over it more later. Right now I'm just praying to see where this all heads.
I have invited her to church a few times. She does respect it but she doesn't feel attached to it and does not want to upset her family.
Is it a liturgical church?
The most liturgical.
Well if it is any consolation, when my priest met his wife, she was Jewish. He got her to convert, even though her parents were not happy.
I don't how I would ever convince her though.
How involved are you with the parish life? Are you able to bring her more often to church so that she may see the full life of it? You don't want to strong arm her, or else you will ruin it. But introduce it more and more to her. Ask your spiritual father for advice and maybe you can introduce her to some people in the parish so she begins to feel the bonds of the place.
I've been trying to get more involved lately since within these last few months my faith has returned anew. I would invite her more often but she doesn't always want to attend.
Does she have faith in God? Because this sounds like she is just going through the Jewish cultural motions for parents.
Yes she does have faith. She celebrates all the holidays and keeps some dietary laws. She is somewhat luke warm in it though like I was in my faith when we first met. She really only ever goes to synagogue when we visit her parents during the Sabbath or when it's during a big holiday like Passover or Hanukkah or Rosh Hashanah. I have actually only visited her and her parents synagogue once a long time ago. I don't see her reading the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) or praying often though but I know for certain she believes in God because she has told me.
Just keep slowly introducing it to her. Mention your efforts to your spiritual father and maybe he can make her feel as a welcomed guest. There is a couple in my parish, already married, but the wife is not Orthodox. Yet she is part of the parish family in a way. She knows everyone by name and everyone knows her. She plans in time to become Orthodox. It may be along those lines. Above all, pray and have patience.
Thank you. I will indeed be asking for advice from my spiritual father on this matter soon. I will be asking our Lord and the holy Theotokos to help me out here as well. Our Lady herself is Jewish and I know that she could be of great guidance to my girlfriend. Thank you.
You're welcome, I will send out prayers for you.
Your kids will be jewish and even if they seem to convert they will remain crypto-jews in their hearts and the mother (and her family) will make sure of it. And for sure your grandkids will be jews and you will be throwing away your chances at a good family and a real lineage.
As bad as it sounds Just Kiss/Cuddle Her and Dump Her. The sooner the better. Or give her an ultimatum to convert/baptize and publicly denounce her Jewishness.
Ah, la aventuras de la creatura. How do you reconcile your beliefs with 1 Corinthians 6:9? There is absolutely no good way to go about marrying a kikess, and as already said, they will always remain crypto-kikes in their heart. You don't see the bigger picture: Their tribe is winning, Jews rule to the world to the detriment of Christendom. We all know that the end times are upon us and mankind won't see the next 100 years on this earth; Jews will never switch their allegiance so close to their final victory.
Honestly, OP, if she loved you she would have changed for you. She's Jewish, she's been fed most of the same verses about subservience and cleaving in marriage that you have. And if she is lukewarm about the faith she has been raised in, and has already been given the opportunity to invest in Christianity, what makes you think that even if she does convert she won't be a lukewarm Christian? You might bring up the length of your relationship as evidence of love. But consider that she's stayed with you so long out of convenience- that both of you were confined to the same space and she might as well enjoy the benefits of a long term relationship. High schoolers regularly date for years on end as well, but the relationships are rarely taken seriously. Finally, in the overview of what you've given us I must say that you do not appear strong. Your role in the relationship is not one of a leader but of a diplomat. You make constant appeal and, even, concession to her and her parents for the sake of affection. You are not threatening, if she hasn't had to give ground for you in two years she won't do so now. As a Christian man, you can and do deserve better- but only if you abandon this passive temperament. You have plenty of time to hone yourself and select a wife.
Try to open her mind about Christianity, also pray for her.
The Catholic Church hates mixed marriages, but still performs them. But it absolutely prohibits marrying Jews. You can't marry the killers of the Lord.
First thing I'd like to point out, is that being baptized doesn't make someone a Christian. A person should only be baptized for being a Christian already.
I know it's not the answer you'd like to hear, but I think it is generally best not to marry an unbeliever.. because I think it will most likely hinder you in your walk with God. That being said, every person and every relationship is different, so I can't judge how likely this scenario is in your case.
The best advise I can give you, is to search the scriptures, to pray, to fast, and to be patient. If you truly wish to know what God's will on this matter is, then He will let you know (Matthew 7:7-11). Believe His promises and be patient. He will do everything in His perfect timing. (Psalms 37:5, Lamentations 3:25, Hebrews 11:6, James 1:2-7)
The most important thing to keep in mind is to put God first. Only go through with this if you're convinced that it is God's will. Whatever His will may be, let the light of Jesus Christ shine through you, brother.
Yes it does. Get out Baptist heretic. >>>/kjv/
Go crawl back to >>>Zig Forums. How many times do we have to tell you this? Race hating is not compatible with Christianity.
You know St. Paul was a violent Jew who killed Christians. Then he found Christ. Jews can absolutely become faithful Christians. Get out and go back to Zig Forums you scum. Either that or repent of your hatred.
If OP loved her, he would accept her as she is and not expect her to change.
I'm talking about the religion faggot. The Church forbids marriage with Jews (people who profess the Jewish religion). If they convert you can marry them. Jesus and the apostles were even ethnic Jews. Why are you telling me to go to Zig Forums fag?
As others have pointed out, this is a terrible idea. Mixed marriages are absolutely out of the question for all Catholics, and for all other people as well if they had any sense. How will you ever know for sure she isn't merely feigning interest in the Faith in order for the sake of the fleeting moment? Do you know how long it takes to truly become a good Christian? Even with full-hearted commitment, it takes years. You must understand the seriousness of this matter, and what it takes for a marriage to truly work, an issue made all the more pressing by the abominable conditions of our present society's sorry state:
With all due respect and apology toward the presumption of this remark, please make sure you're not suffering from any of the following problems, problems that are often inherited through early childhood experiences, or all of this advice will run off you like water. I've experienced this before with friends who would later regret their choices, so I speak with some knowledge here:
Jewish isn't a race, it's a made up cultural group. They mostly don't believe the torah at all, it's just traditions to them.
This is a false conception of love. If you truly love someone, you want what is best for them. This includes encouraging them to change, leaving behind things which are worse for them, and accepting things which are better for them.
The people who accept us for who we are, without wanting us to change are our casual friends and acquaintances who don't really care for us at all.
If you fell in love with a drug addict, do you seriously suggest that loving them entails not wishing for them to quit drugs?
False religion and a lack of Christ are worse for you than drugs.
Well, I wouldn't fall in love with a drug addict. However, the idea of "If you love me, you'll change for me" is psychopathic.
The idea of "If you love me, you'll change for me" is essential to Christ's message for us.
Both of you are correct but overlook an important distinction. The attitude expressed here really is one of the marks of true love, however, it befits only unequal relationships, like those between parents and their children. When between equals, the poster here rather is correct that such an ultimatum shows disrespect. In such situations one healthier turn is to explain to the offending party what exactly is wrong and that as a consequence you will have to sever ties with them, leaving the decision to change entirely up to them. You're in effect creating consequences for their bad behavior, yet not forcing them into any final change, which is still on them.
In the case of dating non-christians, just don't do it. You'll therefore never have to face such decisions.
probably not good.
Is it a problem for you to marry her in a jewish ceremony? I mean, you won't be renouncing your faith and maybe over time she'll grow to share yours. If it isn't absolutely out of the question it's worth spending some time thinking about.
OP is not Christ. I agree that the woman in question should change for Christ, but that's up to her and out of OP's hands.
Matthew 10:14 And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.
All right I'm gonna lay it out here: Either convert her or let her go. It may sound harsh but Judaism and Christianity does not share the same values. You cannot be christian and practice judaism.There's no way in which that is possible. When unsure check out what judaism says about Jesus Christ then compare it to what Christianity says about Jesus. If believe Christianity is the true faith you cannot convert to Judaism. Mixed marriage is a very bad idea in this case. You are to become one flesh with you being the head of the family. That means you do get some responsibility for how your family works out in faith. Either you give up the one true faith (not recommended) or you explain it to her so she converts. While there could still be issues with how your children feel about themselves as far as their identity is concerned(note that jewishness is passed by mother) - this is the most viable solution if you love the girl so much you're willing to make sacrifices for her and if she loves you the same.
this is not about race hating. She could become a Christian sure. But if she has issues with converting she probably does not want to become one. you CANNOT be both. Do not believe me? read what st. John Chrysostom has to say about this.
lol. Opinion discarded. If you love someone you - most of all - care about their soul
Is it a problem to deny christ just for half an hour? Hmmmm
Women are not equal to men, user.
Depends on the man. No one is superior simply by virtue of having a penis.
Not something I considered when I made the post. Was speaking more in the abstract, but it's true, and that factor would change the scenario in a healthy and sane society. But our society is not healthy, and it is not sane.
How is getting married in a jewish ceremony denying Christ? If he is a protestant he won't consider marriage a sacrament, so it's not like he has an obligation to God to be married in his church. If he is, at least the Catholic church has provisions that allow marriage between a Catholic and non-Catholic that should pose no problem for him. Not sure about how others handle it.
If he is not a protestant*
The Church forbids marriage with Jews. If she was from another religion after a long time the church could allow it but it had to be done by a priest, not in a satanist temple.
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly. But thus shall you deal with them: you shall break down their altars and dash in pieces their pillars and chop down their Asherim and burn their carved images with fire. “For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. Deuteronomy 7:3-6
Take this advice to heart OP. The moment you fold and have a Jewish marriage is the moment your spouse becomes the head of your family. If your spouse doesn't care enough about you to convert, then she and her family won't give a second thought to raising your kids Jewish. I'd suggest you talk to her more about this and, if she refuses to convert, leave her and find a Christian woman. Do not place her above Christ.
Don't do it user. The last thing this world needs is another jew, and if you end up marrying this girl, your children will be jews.
Two years of dating?
Marry the girl. Do it in her synagogue. No need to marry in a church.
Your Chessus Chrust will understand.
In time the girl will convert if she sees you living the Sermon on the Mount and not the God Hates Fags Westboro church.
I don’t think you will have a problem with my suggestion as you’ve had 2 years of thinking this through.
Anyways congrats and don’t winnie the pooh this up. Be the one that takes the initiative to accommodate the spouse.
How bout no
This basically. At the least you must be married in a Christian ceremony, and raise the children Christian. If you give in now you're setting the groundwork to give in forever. She clearly places her heritage above a genuine love for Christ, the bare minimum for your relationship to work is that she doesn't place it above her love for you.
You forgot to mention misogyny and homophobia rabbi.
Well men have headship over their wives by virtue of having the penis, so if that's "superior" looks like you're wrong.
It's better for a man to retain celibacy than to marry.
The Jews killed Christ, they are not welcome in the Kingdom of God.