When I was younger, I used to habitually curse God. Whenever I felt frustrated or annoyed, I would blow out steam by hurling all sorts of invectives toward God, Jesus Christ, or the Holy Spirit. I did it even over little things, like missing a shoot on the playground.
Was I possessed by demons? Am I still? How do I remedy this?
Sounds more like a nervous tic to me. Blaspheming the Holy Spirit would be denying His divinity even on your deathbed.
I have no nervous tics. I was consciously, gleefully cursing God.
I sometimes get possessed by very dark thoughts. I am growing increasingly convinced that these are demons. Thoughts that adduce me into a state of wanting to hurt and corrupt others, as if I am at war with God on earth. I sometimes imagine that I am the Antichrist.
No, you were just an awful person. Also, stop blaming everything on demons and admit your responsibility. Also, blasphemy of the holy spirit is not an act per see, but state of soul, consciously rejecting God. This is why it is unforgivable, not because God is arrogant and doesnt forgive, but you actually reject God and everything that comes with God, including His Love, Grace, Forgiveness and so on.
Nothing else makes sense to me anymore. I don't want to do this, so how can I myself be to blame? It's like I am being forced into it. You don't understand at all do you…
Then you should consult a priest…and a psychiatrist too.
I am paralysed in fear. Try to imagine you are sitting inside a pit of snakes. That's how it feels. I sometimes literally see snakes around me, trying to bite me.
I am not a member of any Church. Whom shall I turn to? Psychiatrists are a joke. I did try that route a couple years ago, and it led me nowhere.
You said "when I was younger" so obviously it doesn't happen anymore, right? Why do you worry? We all did some awful things before coming to Christ.
Because my life is in ruins. I think this is punishment for what I did as a kid. God has turned his back on me.
Go see a priest. Stay plenty of times in holy places, avoid sin. You're going to be free user.
I wish I was never born at all.
I wouldn't see it as "punishment" but penitence. A test if you prefer. And now this is the occasion for you to rise against it and reach the light once again. Read the book of job if you need inspiration or learn about St Anthony who lived in the desert and battled demons mercilessly
Orthodoxy. find nearest church and go there to consult a priest.
Don't flip, potato chip. This is a common verse that worries people who should never worry about it The mere fact that you worry about this proves that you have not been given up. If you'd been given up by God, you wouldn't worry about it. To reiterate: because you worry that you have been rejected by God, it is impossible that you have been rejected by God. Take joy in his loving mercy
I especially like the part when he stood up next day and started mocking them and calling them subhumans
I'll try not lose hope. I am very disheartened though. I have read the book of Job in the past by the way. I find its meaning like water in the palm of my hand, always draining away.
If you're worried about it, then you are convicted by Him which means you have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. So don't worry about it.
That's not congruent with the example of blasphemy against the holy spirit in the scriptures. The Jews claimed that the holy spirit was demonic and that was enough for the possibility of salvation to be taken from them.
I used to blaspheme often when I was young and agnostic. If you now have faith and converted I'm pretty sure you already fixed that. It's impossible to have real faith in Jesus and being a blasphemer against the Holy Spirit.
No. No. Confess (which you just did) and repent. Go forth and sin no more.
Well, if it was unconscious (just going tilt off under stress without warning) I could write it off as something bipolar or Tourette's…a tic disorder. I wouldn't say it's a damning sin since you don't have control over it, but it could cause sin elsewhere and it IS a problem that will mess you up IRL. Big risk to not have someone look into.
But since you said it was a conscious act, that's certainly a little more troublesome. Certainly if you have had a swelling in your faith, you should talk to a priest about it, go to confession. Basically seek absolution, but if that's no longer in your heart you should be able to start dealing with it.
Ah…that's a slightly more troubling circumstance. It could be a chemical imbalance, but this sounds a lot like demonic activity. Go find a legit priest with strong faith, and see what you can be done about it. You really might need to see someone specialized in spiritual combat. Do not give in to these thoughts, and make sure to pray.
I'd tend to suggest a Roman or maybe Eastern church…however, if it is a spiritual attack, you will invariably see the most capable and authoritative clergyman in the area regardless of your starting point. Just don't bother with anyone you think is incompetent, you don't want some yahoo to DIY it. It'll make things bad for him, and worse for you.
Are you italian? If so, possession is very unlikely.
Sad fact for whoever isn’t aware: Italy is the most blaspheming country in the world; exclaiming blasphemies is literally the equivalent of saying "f**k" or "sh*t" in America without thinking twice about it though it’s seen as more vulgar and uneducated.
vid related (warning: very blasphemous)
And I used to do it myself a lot when I was an atheist but stopped the day I accepted that Mary is the Mother of God. Sadly, there are "Catholics" in Italy who still blaspheme and think it’s normal "because it has nothing to do with godlessness and is part of the language/culture".
Being influenced by demons doesn't necessarily mean you're possessed. I don't think that you cursing God was caused by demons, but those thoughts about wanting to hurt others might be. And literally seeing snakes around you, that sounds a lot like demonic activity.. Demons try to influence us in all sorts of ways. I'm convinced I have experienced this myself, through both thoughts and dreams. Though the frequency at which these things took place drastically decreased as I got closer to God.
Of course, most thoughts and dreams aren't caused by demons, and we shouldn't assume that all the bad ones are. We should, however, keep in mind what we're dealing with (Ephesians 6:11-12). People often forget that demons are persons, and not just mindless creatures or forces. They have thousands of years of experience in deceiving and tormenting, and are probably highly intelligent. Don't forget that this is a war, because the moment you do is the moment you're losing.
Regarding the title of the thread.. Blaspheming the Holy Spirit is speaking evil of- or attributing evil to (the Spirit of) God. I don't think you're guilty of this. As others already pointed out, the very fact that you believe now and are worried about your situation, is proof that God hasn't given up on you.
The best advice I can give you is to focus on your walk with God. Obey the commandments of Jesus, have patience, and trust His promises. Through obedience do we receive the Holy Ghost, through obedience are we cleansed, and through obedience do we have fellowship with the Father and with Jesus Christ. (Acts 5:32, John 14:15-17, 1 John 3:24, 1 Peter 1:22a, Psalms 19:7-9, 1 John 1:7, John 15:14)
Stay on the path, user. Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you (James 4:7-8). I hope this will be of help to you, and please let us know when you notice improvement!