Eds seize 44 lbs. of fentanyl, 11 lbs. of heroin in arrest 2 men near N.J. truck stop

After making dr. Dolittle I really wouldn't blame him

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Quite honestly, I'd probably want to overdose as well

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I guess it's understandable, especially considering how shitty red dragon was

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Apparently, some Eds took more than their fair share

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Edward Mordrake told me that fentanyl is dangerous and can actually cause birth defects

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Fentanyl is serious stuff, and it's not a child's game

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Fentanyl is for the big boys

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I know somebody who snorted so much fentanyl one day they actually had a seizure. And I'm not joking it's a true story.

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Opioid addiction doesn't discriminate, and people from all walks of life are vulnerable to physical dependency

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Although most of the fentanyl is being produced by China, I still blame the Mexicans

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Opioid addiction also does not discriminate due to your age

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I say if somebody wants to flush their life down the toilet with physical addiction to opioids, let them go right ahead and kill themselves.

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On the street, heroin goes by many names:
Boy, smack, horse, etc.

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I've tried fentanyl severals times Andy.

No euphoria.

Just heavy sedation(and pain relief), similar to methadone.

Color me surprised, right?…..

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That's really strange because I've also done fentanyl many many times and it certainly did supply classic 'euphoria' (if that's what you want to call it)

In fact, one of the five times that I have been clinically dead was due to a fentanyl overdose

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Whenever I hear people talk about the sensation of 'euphoria' allegedly associated with opioids, I always stop and wonder what the hell those people consider to be 'euphoric'….

Sure, I completely understand being encapsulated in a warm bubble of opioid receptors, but that's never been what I consider to be 'euphoria'….

That's more like simply being isolated and dissociated in your own little tiny bubble

When I think of true euphoria, I think more of the amazing sensations associated with real methylenedioxyamphetamine ( MDA)

And I'm not talking about MDMA

Of course MDMA will supply you with overwhelming euphoria, but it's nothing like the grandfather methylenedioxyamphetamine

If you snorted a match head of real Brown sassafras MDA, that's when you know the true definition of euphoria

FED: Do you laugh at heart attack puns?

ED: Yes. Artery hard har!

correction :

you FAILED to copy the F

F is the first letter in the word 'forgot', but it's also the first letter in the word 'failed'….

… You tend to miss the first letter of LOTS of articles or headlines…..

And that's okay, because you are a human being, and human beings are allowed to make mistakes, as long as they learn from their mistakes

So I'm going to help you with this problem, and I'm going to teach you a technique to help you make sure you never make this mistake again, and help you avoid crippling humiliation and embarrassment

HOW TO NOT FAIL TO COPY THE FIRST LETTER:

remember to copy the first letter

I'm glad I could help you

Loh,L

Knock knock
who's there?
eddie
eddie who
eddie body home?
not feddie funny

It looks like today would be a good day too tell the story about how I met Eddie Vedder in Memphis Tennessee, and rudely dissed him, right in front of a bunch of my friends who basically 'worshipped' Eddie Vedder…

Unlike me, Ollie and those guys all seems to think Eddie Vedder was some kind of genius….

It's one of the stories that does NOT involve a painting of Elvis, and was merely a matter of sheer circumstance

Did I tell you about the time Eddie Vedder came in my FACE?

i'LL TELL YOU ANOTHER TIME

Have to go
All good things must come to an ED

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I was visiting family in Memphis back when Pearl Jam was actually allegedly 'relevant'. (bullshit)

I don't remember the name of the special event that would follow the tour from City to City, and hold the event in a separate venue after the Pearl Jam concerts, but I guess it was supposed to be some kind of tiny Pearl Jam 'Faggopalooza'…

I was not interested in going to the after show event anymore than I was interested in going to the fucking worthless Pearl Jam concert that night at the pyramid on the Mississippi River downtown…

But I was bored and I wanted to get drunk, and they were holding the app to show event at the new Daisy theater downtown which is a really cool historic theater in Memphis…

You had to show your tickets to the Pearl Jam concert at the door, and of course I didn't have any tickets cuz I didn't go to the concert…

I looked pretty fucking cool that night!! I was wearing my trademark black SWAT team tactical jumpsuit, and I had my hair all slicked back into a pompadour and I looked like a million bucks.

I went up to the door of the new Daisy theater and one of the security guards ask me for my ticket, and on the spur of the moment I decided to tell him I was Head Of Security For Eddie Vedder

………. He looked at me silently and tried to size me up, trying to determine if I might actually be the head of security for Eddie Vedder…….

I looked rather unusual to say the least so he actually gave it some deep thought…

Finally, he said "where is your all-access pass?"

when I worked for ZZ Top I had all access to all of their concerts, and those of us who were actually closely associated with lone Wolf records never wore the passes around our necks, because it's all false pretense, and if they didn't know who WE we're, it meant THEY we're the ones who didn't matter….

So I told the security guard "lol WE DONT WEAR THOSE STUPID PASSES"

He paused and gave it a little bit more thought, and finally he decided that he would use his tiny bit of authority, and said, "NOPE… SORRY!!!"

Quite honestly I really couldn't have cared less because I had no desire to be part of the actual event, had simply gone there to get drunk and kill some boredom, and only decided to tell him I was head of security on a fluke….

to be continued

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lol

continued:

Ollie and all of my other friends had already gun inside the theater because they actually went to go see the shity concert beforehand…

I could not have cared less about this event, so when the security guard told me he wouldn't let me in, I laughed and told him, "no problem. I'm going to make sure Mr. Vedder knows exactly who you are!"

And I turned around and walked away from the front of the new Daisy theater and turn to take a left down the alleyway that runs between the old buildings to the rear parking lot where my car was parked…

The alleyway is very very small, with either side almost touching your shoulders as you walk down between the two buildings…

It was pitch black at night, and right as I approached the end of the alleyway that exited into the back parking lot, right as I was walking into the parking lot, suddenly a limousine comes zipping up and almost hit me.

The limousine pulled up where the back door met the alleyway, and suddenly the door opens and Eddie Vedder jumps out of the limousine…

LOL !! This story is 100% true, I swear to God, but now that I'm retelling the story I am starting to laugh and realize just how crazy my life has been

Eddie Vedder jumps out of the limousine and I'm standing literally six inches from his face because his limousine almost ran over my foot as I was exiting the alleyway…

I'VE DONE ENOUGH MDA AND MDMA IN MY LIFE TO KNOW WHEN SOMEBODY IS 'ROLLING', AND HE WAS ROLLING ON XTC!!!

His eyes were completely dilated, and he had a mesmerised glow on his face, and he was undulating and exuding the highly electric trippy energy waves associated with methylenedioxymethamphetamine….

To be continued

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(I'm taking care of some business right now, so forgive any speech to text typos)

Hold on, they're bringing me my lunch

Be right back

Okay… Here goes…
I hate Peral Jam
The only thing I hate more than Pearl Jam
is EDDIE FUCKING VEDDER

You had a gun in the theater?

No, seriously. Johnny, take this story to a REAL NEWS thread. Then I'll listen.

There we stood, face to face. Eddie was rolling SO HARD. he was staring in my face oddly, like he wanted to touch it or something.

It was strange, to say the least….

So, I laughed, '''"EDDIE… NICE BUMPING INTO YOU"

I thanked the driver for not running over my foot, and he assured me "I didn't see you coming out"

(Duhhhhh)

I told Eddie, "I'm Johnny Neptune. I paint Elvis portraits for celebrities. I don't have a ticket to get in, so I told the doorman that I was your head of security, but he didn't fall for it! "

Eddie smiled…. " No problem, Johnny"

So Eddie and I walked back up the thin alley up to the front of the New Daisy Theater, and he asked me about the Elvis paintings

(ALL CELEBRITIES LOVE ELVIS, FYI)

when we approached the front of the theater, I pretended like I was security, telling the crowd to make room for Eddie to come in.

"Eddie's coming through, everybody please make way!!"

ABSOLUTELY 100% TRUE :

Eddie and I walked up the the $7 an hour security guard, and I pointed at the dude, and said, "THAT'S THE GUY, EDDIE!!"

you should've seen the security guards face…
IT WAS FUCKING PRICELESS!!

Eddie goes, "ahhhhhhh that's the one?"

He and I entered the theater, and right in front of Ollie and the other guys, I IMMEDIATELY MADE A B-LINE, and darted off, getting the fuck away from Eddie…

My friends were aghast… EDDIE VEDDER & NEPTUNE

I dissed Eddie so badly. I got the fuck away from him. I didn't want to be seen standing next to him.

Right in front of Ollie, as I zipped into the crowd, Eddie was yelling "JOHNNY!!! HEY JOHNNY!!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!!"

100% TRUE…. completely true

Eddie Vedder ain't no Elvis

The End

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The only two shows that the 'celebrities' weren't huge Elvis fans:

The Go-Gos and Faster Pussycat

It was my teenaged (14) girlfriend from Liechtenstein Stephanie that wanted to see both of those concerts, or else I never would have painted an Elvis picture or gone to either show….

Belinda Carlisle got all uppity after I gave her the Elvis painting, "what is THIS?!! I don't like Elvis!"
so I literally ripped my painting out of her hands, TORE IT INTO PIECES, and yelled in her face "Fuck You, Fat Ugly Pig!! Fuck Yourself!! I hate your fucking music, you stupid fat piece of shit!!"

Faster Pussycat took the painting and gave it to their road manager, who took it into their backstage dressing room. I was so embarrassed to even be interacting with faster Pussycat, but Stephanie like that type of bullshit music common and I liked fucking Stephanie, so I'm sure you understand…

Only after the road manager gave me my backstage passes, and took the painting into the back dressing room area did one of the band members say something in passing, telling the other band member "Elvis sucked"

…… So I interrupted them and told them, "I just changed my mind. I want my Elvis painting back"

And the guitarist said, " you gave that to me oh, and I keeping it. You got your backstage passes"

While they were performing on stage later, I used my backstage pass to walk directly into their dressing room, and while I was taking my Elvis painting back, I helped myself to a brand new $600 pair of crushed red velvet creepers, with cheetah skin tongue

I put the brand new creepers on, and left my stinky fucking tennis shoes where I found the creepers

The only fucking pieces of shit who didn't idolize Elvis

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I realize that stealing the band members $600 pair of red velvet and a cheetah skin creepers was unethical and possibly even criminal, but it wasn't an EDERAL OFFENSE

Back then everybody thought Belinda Carlisle was so fucking hot…

In person, it was I totally different story… She was a fat fucking pig…

I'll never forget her stupid fucking expression when I screamed right in her face, telling her how fat and ugly she was.

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Elvis was prepped, are you Johnny?

Later on tonight, in one of the threads yet to be made, I'm going to tell the story about how Annie Lennox almost had me arrested….

Spoiler alert: it was just a miscommunication by her tour manager, and everything ended up working out just fine.

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I am prepared for anything, sir… I'm not afraid of facing any situation because I know I'm going to be just fine

Just like Elvis, each of us has our own medication and way of dealing with reality

Some people's drug of choice is more detrimental than others….

Like FEAR, for example

When the shit hits the fan, I'll probably just ED FOR THE MOUNTAINS

I'd rather live in a bubble of comfortable oblivious intoxication than to suffer through a sober life of needless fear

It gets very cold high up, you'll need to be around a wooded area and have a cabin. Learn how to safely cut branches, start small and work your way up, trust me, the bigger they are the more dangerous the work. I have a wood burning stove myself and plenty of cut wood for winter time (do not rely on central heating, choose not to because I want to be ready 24/7 and already be used to a grid-down).

Thank God I didn't waste any time preparing for a life living in a cold tree stump because it will never be necessary….

the 'apocalypse' isn't going to happen in my lifetime, so I'm spending my time ENJOYING MY LIFE

It gets cold up high…..

but not as cold as it gets 6 feet underground in a coffin.

That's why I'm PREPARED to enjoy my life, because once I'm dead, my opportunities will become fewer and farther in between, right?

THE IRONY:

I thought you believed in Jesus, and an eternal life playing volleyball with Jesus up in heaven.

all of this 'fear of the end' seems to contradict your religion.

I actually enjoy prepping, thats how I get my kicks, DIY hobbies.

Nope. Who told Noah to prepare for the Great Flood?

I find it very telling that you are afraid of 'the end of times', because Christianity is supposed to embrace it…

Tsk Tsk Tsk……

Apparently, you have doubts

RE: who told Noah

A: nobody

Noah never existed. That's just another myth

Doubting Thomas ?……

convinced the world is about to end, and Jesus will return…..

but fights the process

No, the intent to postpone it as long as possible and prepare for end times. Thats what Christians are supposed to do. You ask and beg God NOT to bring about the end times! You try to change the timeline, God is the only one who can do that.

so, I guess it's a safe guess that YOU DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH JESUS?

-You try to change the timeline

-God is the only one who can do that

pick one

Its not something you want to see, trust me. When Jesus returns he will rightfully be angry and he will start kicking some ASS!

Q: do you ACTUALLY believe 'jesus' is going to 'return'?

Lol

explain the logistics, please

I already explained about multidimensional travel, the fallen angels use that too.

Is he going to travel in a UFO?

or is he going to 'magically appear' out of thin air?

what is he going to be wearing? Still in a bathrobe?

Is he going to hold press conferences?
Will they cover his speeches on CNN or Fox?

Ahhhhhhh, the timeless 'multidimensional travel' Hocus pocus satanic occultist bullshit

I seeee

so, you're telling me that he is a PHYSICAL ENTITY

he's in physical form, and simply tours the universe on a multidimensional cruise liner

I don't exactly know because they covered up that kind of info during the Roswell crash back in '47 and never allowed footage of it to be shown. I have no idea what it looks like. The US military has an idea though.

AGAIN: HOW WILL HE COMMUNICATE WITH US?

voices in our heads?

CNN ?…..

The Wall Street Journal?

will he create his own website?

Maybe an adroid app?

There are 7.6 billion humans right now.

IMAGINE how many people Jesus is going to need to communicate with.

Not all of us have access to a TV or a newspaper

I guess he's going to need to rely on 'multidimensional voices in our heads', huh?

I believe he's be back in the Middle East and start kicking some Muslim and Jew ass. And then maybe other things will happen, don't really know. I do know one thing, don't mess with Jesus.

Exactly WHERE THE FUCK HAS HE BEEN HANGING OUT?

and i won't accept some hypothetical 'imaginary heaven's multidimensional nonsense.

There would have to be a PHYSICAL LOCATION where he has been hanging out in person for 2,000 years

Oh, I see…..

So you're saying that Jesus has already returned it a long time ago oh, and he's been hanging out in Syria or Afghanistan?

Q: since he is in human form, he's aged quite a bit in these past 2,000 years, right?

or are you telling me that this 'jesus' dude
practices black magic, and doesn't age ?

Q: why would 'jesus' be anti-Semitic?

he's a kike

Oh…. Hold on a minute….

Ahhhhhhh I GET IT NOW……..

Jesus is a white supremacist?

If 'jesus' is a neo-nazi white supremacist,
is it possible that Hitler was actually 'jesus'?

after all, Hitler was actually part of the Solomon family, a jew

Are you by any chance PREPARED to finally just admit that you're making it all up as you go along, custom tailoring your imaginary belief system, cutting corners here & there, and folding over other sections, so you can force it to fit into some predetermined template?

Aren't delusional imaginary religious belief systems wonderful?…..

Because it's all bullshit, it makes it so easy to just fabricate anything and put it out there, as if you know what the fuck you're talkin about.

If any of it were actually factual or real, you would have to prove your belief system to be based in reality, and required to provide some form of evidence to back it up.

How convenient that you can afford the luxury of just making up whatever the fuck you want and claiming that it's true

RE: DEAD SEA SCROLLS

Cherry Tree Myth

Author Philip Levy discusses his book, Where the Cherry Tree Grew. Levy explains the history, mythology, and archeology of Ferry Farm, Washington's boyhood home in Fredericksburg, Virginia.
Learn More
Legends
The Man and Myth
The Man and Myth

The story of the cherry tree is not the only Washington-related myth! Mount Vernon invites you to separate fact from fiction and learn about the real George Washington.

Washington grew up with little formal schooling. However, from the joint influence of role models and literature, Washington steadfastly preserved the importance of ideas ranging from honor to humanity to hospitality.

"Father, I Can Not Tell a Lie: I Cut the Tree," engraving by John C. McRae, 1867.
The cherry tree myth is the most well-known and longest enduring legend about George Washington. In the original story, when Washington was six years old he received a hatchet as a gift and damaged his father’s cherry tree. When his father discovered what he had done, he became angry and confronted him. Young George bravely said, “I cannot tell a lie…I did cut it with my hatchet.” Washington’s father embraced him and rejoiced that his son’s honesty was worth more than a thousand trees.1

Ironically, this iconic story about the value of honesty was invented by one of Washington’s first biographers, an itinerant minister and bookseller named Mason Locke Weems. After Washington’s death in 1799 people were anxious to learn about him, and Weems was ready to supply the demand. As he explained to a publisher in January 1800, “Washington you know is gone! Millions are gaping to read something about him…My plan! I give his history, sufficiently minute…I then go on to show that his unparalleled rise and elevation were due to his Great Virtues.”2 Weems’ biography, The Life of Washington, was first published in 1800 and was an instant bestseller. However the cherry tree myth did not appear until the book’s fifth edition was published in 1806.

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Q: which one is Jesus?

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Killcen, I just found a video of jesus

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WHERE'S WEIRDO (jesus) ?

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Johnny I'll be posting three new pics. Be on the lookout. Another thread.

mm hmmm

Eds Seize The Jesus Myth, Add 44 Pounds Of Cherry Tree Nonsense

GOD DAMN IT
WRONG MYTH

Ed's Seize George Washington Myth, Add 11 Pounds Of Walking On Water Bullshit

Posted in here, I'm no larper.

GOD DAMN IT
wrong jew

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GOD DAMN IT
better

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