ALBANY, GA (WALB) - An Albany couple got a frightening surprise Sunday night when a tree came crashing down on their carport.
The owner of the house said, "I got a frightening surprise when that tree came crashing down on my carport."
His wife got very upset and interruted him, "you just said that YOU got a frightening surprise, not WE got a frightening surprise, and it's OUR carport, not just YOURS. you always think only of yourself, and never seem to include me. It's almost as if I don't exist."
Around 8pm part of a tree fell, ripping the carport from the roof at a home on West Waddell Drive. The couple who live at the home say it's owned by the city. But police disagree.
"I own the house, but not the carport." said the man, who was immediately interrupted again by his wife, " There you go again, saying YOU own the house, but WE own it. I thought you loved me. You don't show me love anymore, and I feel like we live two separate lives under the same roof."
The police want the couple to shut the fuck up, because they've all heard their wives complain about this exact same bullshit before.
No one was injured. It's not known if the wet weather caused part of the tree to fall.
It's kind like the way you call your rectum a dickport
Nathaniel Butler
Do people no longer cut those dead branches? I still do for this very reason, and in fact I like doing it because I get more firewood for the winter time as I rely on a wood burning stove to heat my home.
Gavin Gonzalez
Bump
Easton Murphy
I thought about doing this before. What tools would you recommend?
Aiden Scott
Isn't that dangerous?
Evan James
Bumped for being real
Lucas Bell
...
Bentley Martinez
A 20' latter, decent chainsaw (try a 20" to 22" blade), you'll need 50:1 chain oil and good gas. Some rope and someone to help guide the branch down. You'll also want something to keep yourself from falling or being knocked off by pressure (which has been known to be a risk), like clinch rope and/or spiked boots (depending on the size of branch and how tall it is).
Easton Murphy
What if it's summertime and you don't need to make a fire?
Xavier Rodriguez
An extending latter or a fold-out A-frame latter?
Brayden Carter
Shit, I meant 50:1 engine oil (for the gas to keep it good) and standard chain oil will do.
Nicholas Nguyen
Extension latter, and make sure its propped up secure and won't wobble too much. When you cut down big branches, you WILL need someone to help you guide down those branches from below. You need to be very careful where they come crashing down because you would be held liable if anything disastrous were to happen. It is a very risky job, and if you are not extremely careful and confident then don't attempt it because there is danger involved when cutting huge branches that weigh 1,000+ pounds.
Josiah Torres
Would you recommend using ropes?
Logan Morgan
Absolutely. You'll need at least a 100' rope in use to have that branch 'guided down' as you cut it. You'll want someone standing from a long distance away from the branch and tugging on it as you slowly cut it with the chainsaw. Do NOT cut it 100% because this would likely snap the chain (I could tell you a very brutal story about me witnessing this happen to a friend of mine a long time ago, we had to rush him to the ER holding his neck in the back seat so he wouldn't bleed out). You use the rope when you get an 80% to 85% angle cut to pull that branch down and snap it, guiding where it will crash down.
Christian Peterson
Ahhhhhhh I think I'm going to try that.
Dominic Jackson
Before doing anything, I'd recommend talking to a few people who have done it before first, get their take and their suggestions. It is a tough and dangerous job. One wrong issue could mean your life, not trying to scare you but just a warning. Be careful and heed other experienced suggestions on what you intend to cut down.
Angel Richardson
Another suggestion would be to attach a 20' to 30' rope to the back end of the chainsaw, this way you could cut most of the branch and then lower the chainsaw safely to the ground, while your helper guides down the branch. You do NOT want to be holding that chainsaw as it comes crashing down because the pressure can typically shake you a bit while you are on the latter and you'll want a firm grip to remain secure as it comes falling down. Just another tip.
