CNN- A suspicious man has reportedly been demonstrating suspicious behavior on the internet, repeatedly typing several similar url's, each one with a slight variation.
In a Monday morning press conference, the man told reporters, "I'm not suspicious, I'm frustrated. There's nothing suspicious about my behavior, I'm simply confused, because I'm not really good with this internet thing."
Reports have surfaced that authorities first noticed the man's peculiar online behavior when he tried typing a url, looking for a website to sell a pair of tennis shoes that he no longer wanted.
His first attempt at entering the url was
sellmytennishoes.com
but he typed 'tennis hoes', and he ended up on a website similar to backpage.com that exclusively pimped out female tennis players.
Next, he typed http//:sellmytennisshoes.com but he transposed the semicolon and the two forward slashes, which got him nowhere
"I told you I'm not really good with this internet thing," said the man, was now looking more and more suspicious with each subsequent character he typed.
By this time, he had raised the suspicions of local law enforcement, who were so suspicious that they requested help from the NSA. "I told you there's nothing suspicious about me, I just don't know very much about the internet, and I'm confused," said the man.
Now under surveillance, the man continued typing
sellmytennisshoes.con was his next attempt, which raised the eyebrows of those who were assigned to monitor his activities.
A surprised looking NSA analyst told reporters, "I'm really not surprised that he accidentally typed the letter 'n', because it's right next to the letter 'm' on his keyboard. I just look surprised because my eyebrows have been raised. I'm probably going to go to an eyebrow doctor and see if he can't fix them."
During Monday's press conference, reporters asked the suspicious man if he had any remorse about the guy's eyebrows, and if he intends on continuing to inadvertently type the letter 'n' instead of the letter 'm'.
"Look, please stop saying I'm suspicious. I really have to question your reason for continually calling me suspicious."
A reporter asked him, "so you're suspicious about our reasons?" And the man answered," yes. I'm very suspicious about that."
Another reporter mentioned how suspicious it was that the man avoided the question about remorse over the NSA analyst's eyebrows. "I told you I'm not really good with the internet, and I'm not the world's best typist. My fingers are clumsy, and the letter 'n' is right next to the letter 'm' and I made a mistake. One little mistake and now my entire life has been destroyed and my reputation has been ruined. I feel really bad about that guy's eyebrows, but I'm not sure if I'm actually responsible for it. I think it might be a pre-existing medical condition."
Law enforcement officials dispute the man's claim, "he said he only made one little mistake, but he actually made more than one mistake. He's been entering several different variations of the URL, and he got it wrong every time. We find this very suspicious."
latest reports indicate the man has decided just to keep his old tennis shoes.
