Man Raises Eyebrows With Suspicious Online Activity

CNN- A suspicious man has reportedly been demonstrating suspicious behavior on the internet, repeatedly typing several similar url's, each one with a slight variation.

In a Monday morning press conference, the man told reporters, "I'm not suspicious, I'm frustrated. There's nothing suspicious about my behavior, I'm simply confused, because I'm not really good with this internet thing."

Reports have surfaced that authorities first noticed the man's peculiar online behavior when he tried typing a url, looking for a website to sell a pair of tennis shoes that he no longer wanted.

His first attempt at entering the url was
sellmytennishoes.com
but he typed 'tennis hoes', and he ended up on a website similar to backpage.com that exclusively pimped out female tennis players.

Next, he typed http//:sellmytennisshoes.com but he transposed the semicolon and the two forward slashes, which got him nowhere

"I told you I'm not really good with this internet thing," said the man, was now looking more and more suspicious with each subsequent character he typed.

By this time, he had raised the suspicions of local law enforcement, who were so suspicious that they requested help from the NSA. "I told you there's nothing suspicious about me, I just don't know very much about the internet, and I'm confused," said the man.

Now under surveillance, the man continued typing
sellmytennisshoes.con was his next attempt, which raised the eyebrows of those who were assigned to monitor his activities.

A surprised looking NSA analyst told reporters, "I'm really not surprised that he accidentally typed the letter 'n', because it's right next to the letter 'm' on his keyboard. I just look surprised because my eyebrows have been raised. I'm probably going to go to an eyebrow doctor and see if he can't fix them."

During Monday's press conference, reporters asked the suspicious man if he had any remorse about the guy's eyebrows, and if he intends on continuing to inadvertently type the letter 'n' instead of the letter 'm'.

"Look, please stop saying I'm suspicious. I really have to question your reason for continually calling me suspicious."

A reporter asked him, "so you're suspicious about our reasons?" And the man answered," yes. I'm very suspicious about that."

Another reporter mentioned how suspicious it was that the man avoided the question about remorse over the NSA analyst's eyebrows. "I told you I'm not really good with the internet, and I'm not the world's best typist. My fingers are clumsy, and the letter 'n' is right next to the letter 'm' and I made a mistake. One little mistake and now my entire life has been destroyed and my reputation has been ruined. I feel really bad about that guy's eyebrows, but I'm not sure if I'm actually responsible for it. I think it might be a pre-existing medical condition."

Law enforcement officials dispute the man's claim, "he said he only made one little mistake, but he actually made more than one mistake. He's been entering several different variations of the URL, and he got it wrong every time. We find this very suspicious."

latest reports indicate the man has decided just to keep his old tennis shoes.

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Other urls found in this thread:

oxwugzccvk3dk6tj.onion
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

First he says he feels really bad about it, but then he denies any responsibility. This shows a complete lack of real remorse. Exactly what I would have expected.

This raised eyebrow condition is serious stuff. It's no joke.

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The Frontalis is the skin over the eyebrows, and the muscles that raise the Frontalis are the Occipitalis''', the superior nuchal line of the occiput, (epicranius) the muscle that draws the scalp posteriorly and inferiorly and raises the eyebrows. the nerve supply is facial nerve.

Often times, an Occipitalisist can lower one of the patient's eyebrows, while the other eyebrow remains raised permanently.

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I find it questionable that he would have accidentally typed the letter 'N', when there is plenty of space between the letter 'N' and the letter 'M'.

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I think the most suspicious part about the entire story is why he thought anybody would be interested in purchasing his old stinky tennis shoes

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No wonder they were so suspicious of him. There isn't a website called 'sellmytennishoes.com'

I have to admit, right now both of my eyebrows are raised as well.

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you're a fucking idiot. he tried explaining that he's just confused, and he's not really good at the internet. What is so suspicious about this? Have we reached a point where anybody who makes a mistake is suddenly considered suspicious?

What raised my eyebrows is how quickly he held the press conference, and how the NSA admitted being involved in the investigation. You got to admit that's pretty suspicious. This is obviously just another false flag event, deliberately destabilizing society, with the Jews planting this story to try and make it appear as if anybody could inadvertently tap the wrong key on their keyboard.

Speaking of which, why didn't he just get a glow in the dark keyboard, making it easier to see each key, and avoid any mistakes?

They're really not that expensive, and I find it suspicious that couldn't afford it.

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faggot, he was trying to sell his old tennis shoes. Obviously he's not a billionaire.

In that photograph, he doesn't look suspicious or confused. I'm not buying it.

He looks frustrated. Fake news.

can you read? In the second paragraph, the suspicious man clearly says that he's frustrated.

First he claims he's frustrated, then in the same sentence he claims he's simply confused. He can't have it both ways.

suspicious

Now I'm confused. Did you mean that he's suspicious, or you're suspicious?

You're making this very confusing. Now I'm getting frustrated.

I don't see any reason why he should feel remorseful about the NSA analyst and his eyebrow condition. It's not his fault.

cia nigger spotted

I disagree. While he may not have intentionally caused the NSA analysts to raise his eyebrows, his actions lead to the raising of eyebrows, meaning that he is civilly liable. I'm not sure if he could be criminally charged for raising somebody's eyebrows, but if the NSA analyst is unable to have his eyebrows lowered by a medical specialist, any six person jury in a civil courtroom would side with the NSA analyst, and agree that the actions of the suspicious man led to the eyebrow event, making this is suspicious man liable, and financially responsible.

I suspect that this suspicious man isn't the only suspect in the investigation, because it's rather suspicious that only one person would have raised eyebrows.

If you read the news article carefully, it says the suspicious suspects activities 'raised the eyebrows of those assigned to monitor him', meaning there was more than one person whose eyebrows got raised.

This whole thing is frustrating and confusing, but I suspect there's either a lot more to this story or a lot less to this story.

Bumping fake news

Hello there.

I have made a mistake. I was trying to take a picture of my tennis shoes with my webcamera, and they accidentally fell onto my keyboard. A bunch of letters appeared. And then I smelled the shoes before me, as they were right in front of my face. They smelled like an onion, so I typed onion.

Suddenly I realized I was here. oxwugzccvk3dk6tj.onion

What is this place? Should I learn basket weaving?

cia bastard

noob

I admit this story raised both of my eyebrows, but eventually one of my eyebrows went back down to normal, while the other eyebrow continued to raise, and now it has disappeared behind my hairline.

QUESTION: what if I have a unibrow, and this suspicious man's behavior raised only one eyebrow, meaning both of my eyebrows had been raised, but it would be incorrect to refer to my eyebrow in the plural form?

That would still qualify as raising your eyebrows.

GOD DAMN IT
I accidentally tapped the letter 's' because it's right underneath the letter 'w' on my keyboard. I meant to say 'eyebrow'. This is frustrating!

I'm confused.

I find it suspicious that you managed to deliberately destabilize my interpretation of the topic at hand.

This thread has raised suspicions by being on the front page of 8ch.net.
Being suspicious in nature, ChodeMonkey may swing in here to confirm his suspicions.
Cans I Play Wid Chode Too, Pleeze?

window.alert(“test”)

Just as I suspected.

I need help, but I have no family or friends. My family all died in early 2000s and my friends talk to me anonymously. I don't even go to church because I have a sophisticated understanding of metaphysical issues.

I don't know what to do.

kys

The suspicious nature of your suspecting a certain outcome makes you suspect in my opinion

reported

Trade in your Hitler Trips for Meth.
I hear Johnny LOVES Hitler Trips, and I happen to KNOW he got some good meth from Killcen recently, and EVERYBODY knows that Meth will solve ALL your problems!

Not for being off topic. Reported for sexual harrassment.

Meth wouldn't be the worst idea if someone could make it taste good, like cow urine.

When I read this story, both of my eyebrows fell off.

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I'd say bring back goth, but you probably don't want to shave off your viking beard.

are you sure they fell off, or is it possible they just grew back into the skin of your forehead?

It's not really surprising about the raised eyebrows.
It just looks like they're surprised.
I'm pretty sure they're either just confused
Or suspicious

bumping real news

window.alert(“test”)

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The Skiddie trying again seems rather suspicious.

What a pleasant surprise!

I suspect that he's just confused

Suspicious.

Nothing about this story raised my eyebrows.

Instead, they migrated down onto my face, eventually both of them ending up on my right cheek.

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That's really suspicious, because your left eyebrow somehow inverted as it migrated to your right cheek. When the process was complete, they both ended up being right eyebrows.

Because he works for the NSA, his identity was kept secret, and this was the only available identikit police sketch.

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I find it suspicious that the 8ch.net front page News Headlines has been recently changed to be half /newspus/ articles on the left, and half Zig Forums articles on the right, this particular thread being foremost amongst them–SUSPICIOUS.
My Eyebrows have been Raised.

But he wasn't even the suspect, so why would they make a police sketch of him? You must be confused

CIA glownigger shill detected.
It's not surprising that I wasn't surprised to find out my suspicions were correct, and somehow killcen's FAGGOT Agenda 21 thread raised to the top of the list, like a proverbial eyebrow.

I guess I'm confused on how this works.

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window.alert(“test”)

SCRIPT KIDDIE WAS BANNED FOR SUSPICIOUS EYEBROW-RAISING BEHAVIOR

I was just pretending to be retarded, mod! Pleeze no b&!
I'll stop acting suspicious, I promise.

Well, first you start by not being such a flaming phonefag.
(((We))) find that suspicious.

Oh well, no more time for Real News now

Wendy just called, and she's on her way over with Sexy. She's been tending to him after the surgery over at Gayle's house, but today is the day when we are integrating all of the cats together.

So now I'm going to have to clean this place up top to bottom and prepare it for Mr. Sexy boy

(By the way, I wish somebody would make a thread about the latest announcement from Facebook, requesting all of their users to send in nude photographs of themselves, so they can prevent other people from creating revenge porn)

I realize Facebook actually discussed this subject in the past, but today they just announced their new pilot program is going into full effect, and they are literally requesting nude photographs from their users.

See ya later!!!

I'm extremely excited about Sexy coming home!!

I really don't appreciate your comment……….

I'm extremely touchy about my masculinity, and I found your words to be hurtful.

I am a phonehomosexual, but I'm no goddamn fag

And so now it begins…..

I just got done baking a bunch of fresh tilapia, and I've got some premium grade catnip ready to go.

And I admit that I have missed waking up next to Wendy every morning for the past couple weeks, and I'm looking forward to having her drive me crazy with her neurotic non stop talking.

If you watch that video when he jumps up and lays down on the bed, you can see the area on his left wrist where he required surgery….

He was convalescing in isolation, but now he's doing much better and today is the first day of the rest of his life, and he gets to meet Rocket, Sputnik & Cosmo

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eeyore is a handsome fucking devil

what I wouldn't give to be a cat!

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big day…..

the last day of Winter

see ya later!

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I just did a thorough Google search, and I can't find anything about this story online.

Forgot what a pain in the ass GIMP is! Forgot everything I ever knew. Makes me want to go whimpering back to PicsArt in shame.

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What size are the tennis shoes?

Bullshit💩Fake News. Post the link please. Even google doesn’t have this story. Not even CNN itself 🤔

This is how they swayed the election. Fake news

Smartest thing said in this whole thread so far.

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I suspect that is not saying much.

Killcen is controlling the Front Page with his Paranoid News.
I find that Suspicious.

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I see what you did there

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...

bumped

and now, I'm going to report myself

Already reported.
They said they have been suspecting you for some time now.

21 Eyebrows have been raised.
It's an Agenda.

Send your photos to

[email protected]

Is this the REAL Mark Wiering?

You guessing that has me raising my eyebrows.

Where not at this level yet, but god damn we're close.

I am a nude jpeg engineer at Facebook, and I would appreciate it if Mark Wiering would PLEASE stop send in so many full frontals.

at least please cover it up with a tiny little kangaroo skin Aussie Cowboy hat

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That raised my eyesbro

LIGHTHEARTED INTERMISSION:

enjoy the antics of the 2019 Harlem Globetrotters

has anybody seen the real Mark Wiering?