Facebook Wants Your Nude Photos; What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

In a bid to wrap up the race for the Tin Ear of the Year Award before June 1, Facebook has begun asking its 2.2 billion users to discreetly share their indiscreet nude photos with the company. The plan, they say, is to train Facebook to block the images you don’t ever want on Facebook, in cases such as revenge porn.

The company is partnering with several third-party groups – such as the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative and the National Network to End Domestic Violence – to distribute review forms to those who’ve had to deal with former sexual partners improperly posting their sensitive images.

Requesters are given a one-time upload link to send those images to Facebook, where they are reviewed by “a handful of specially trained members” of the company’s burgeoning content-review team.

Those team members will create what’s effectively a digital fingerprint of the images so that Facebook’s systems can automatically recognize and block the images before they can be seen by anyone outside the company. The program is undergoing trials in the United States, United Kingdom and a couple of other territories.

This all sounds pretty good. Except, remember that this is the same company that has had such a bumpy time the past couple of years controlling what’s happening to personal data on its site, and what’s being shared with outside companies.

You may recall that little kerfuffle last year when it became clear that as many as 80 million people had their data improperly shared/exposed to third-party providers during the 2016 elections as part of relatively routine Facebook operations.

Beneficiaries of that abused and prodigal data included the now-bankrupt Cambridge Analytica, whose work may have helped sway the outcome of both Brexit and the 2016 U.S. presidential election. If you’re James Clapper, the former U.S. Director of National Intelligence, you believe (and wrote in a book released this week) that companies such as Cambridge Analytica helped Russian trolls harness Facebook data to throw the election.

Amid the slew of fallout since the Russian meddling and Cambridge involvement surfaced, Facebook has instituted a range of reforms, cutting off data-sharing agreements with some, and forcing changes with others. They’ve also committed to hiring 4,000 more members of their content-review team.

And maybe, if someone shared deeply personal naked photos with Facebook, the putatively chastened tech giant would now do a better job protecting that material.

Given, however, the frosty reaction European legislators had this week when Mark Zuckerberg delivered pablum-filled non-answers to their questions about how Facebook handles data, I’m skeptical about how much to trust the company.


Attached: PicsArt_03-19-02.44.07.jpg (1390x713, 97.74K)

The EU’s General Data Protection Regulation takes effect this week, and Facebook’s biggest response was to move 1.5 billion non-European users’ accounts out of the Irish data farms where it had previously stashed them. Those accounts, including yours probably, are now protected by the much less stringent privacy rules here in the United States.

It’s great that Facebook is trying to protect people from being victimized by former lovers. Maybe the new initiative will make a difference, at least on one very big site (and Very Big Subsidiaries Instagram and Messenger). The initiative, of course, won’t do much to stop posts on other sites such as Reddit, which previously had revenge porn subreddits and still has issues.

But as the comedian liked to point out, timing is everything. And boy, does Facebook have lousy timing.

Killcen here. I'm prepared to send my nudes in to Facebook. I hope they don't require photographs of my erection, because they're a little too late for that. I haven't achieved an erection since the last time Audrey Landers appeared on fantasy island.

Just fucking kill Facebook and reboot myspace.

That's absolutely fucking retarded. I'm going to bust down your future king door zuckerberg.

Attached: images (20).jpeg (180x280, 14.62K)

They don't need that information. It already exists. You're phone is capable of seeing through your clothes.

Look at my fucking body. You can see through Mr and the fucking blinds and couch.

Are you people fucking stupid?

Look at my photo closer now. This is the reflective part of the plastic that lights reflected off of your phone. You can see right through me, see the couch, and see the fucking blinds.

Fuck Facebook.

Attached: IMG_20190224_000707_286.jpg (3000x3000, 1.07M)

I'm killcen, and Audrey Landers never appeared on fantasy island. She was rumored to be making a guest appearance on The Ropers, but much to my heart's dismay, it was just a rumor and it never actually occurred.

I'm digging through my old Love Boat DVDs, trying to find the episode with Judy Landers, Audrey's twin sister. Hopefully I'll be able to achieve an erection, and I can send my photograph into Facebook, effectively thwarting anybody's attempts to surreptitiously upload photographs of somebody else's erection, and try to convince people that it's me.

You could say I'm getting 'prepared'

This was never edited in Photoshop. It's a direct image.

They can already replicate my x-ray vision. I can put my hand behind my head and see through my head and see how many fingers there are.

They need to fucking die.

Fake fake fake…..

It's obviously not you, because there's no black guy fucking you in the ass

nice try, Superfag

Trust me, we all know that you could never use Photoshop effectively if your life depended on it

You don't believe me then smash your phone open and take the black plastic glossy screen out.

If it can't be googled from a homosexual Superman fan web page, you're not going to have it. It usually requires at least a high school education to be able to master Photoshop.

I have x-ray vision and I find this very fucking disturbing.
It's the only reason I noticed because I don't need Facebook competing with my super powers.

I don't think you read my message smart ass.

I can't teach you how to use x-ray vision but smash your fucking phone right now and see why Zuckerberg needs to be in prison.

Attached: IMG_20190225_042212_240.jpg (339x339, 63.41K)

Attached: Now.That's.More.Like.It.png (697x292, 32.74K)

See how nice I am? You all have x-ray vision and now do not need airport scanners or any other spy gear.

I can still it unaided and without the help of tools but now all of you now have x-ray vision.

Attached: tenor (4).gif (472x348, 636.3K)

Someone contact wonder woman.

Attached: 61y3CJPFJpL._SX323_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg (325x499, 49.76K)

I didn't want to do this but apparently it wasn't obvious enough. My super powers are real and these assholes are abusing them relentlessly.

I can't stand up by myself anymore. You've let me get into a miserable condition and 'elite strength' and x-ray vision aren't going to cut it. Not fast enough.

If any of you have a smart phone that's HD and new then do what I said. Break the phone in half and remove the screen and use it like a mirror. You'll have my super power as long as you have that screen.

Its a highly reflective black peice of screen. You may need to focus on it. Since I already have x-ray vision it comes fairly natural to me… But if another phone can catch the reflection off the screen in an image to reproduce the effect then I'm sure almost anyone can do it.

Attached: 6112PRA70ZL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg (260x261, 29.96K)

You're literally incapable of any self-control, and simply can't help but demonstrate your laughable homosexuality

Great going, Sally

Bank here, give us all yor money, no receipt

We will check it for dirt

Trust us

We are a bank