Even Outer Space Isn't Safe From Advertisements

Imagine you’ve stepped outside on a crisp, clear autumn evening. Ah, the beautiful night sky! The awe of the cosmos! How very small we are in this vast universe, tiny specks on this pale blue dot, lucky to exist in this geological instant that Earth is hospitable to life. Truly, the sky gives us the gift of perspective—wait, is that the Pepsi logo?

It could be, at least starting in 2021. Earlier this month, Russian company StartRocket confirmed to Futurism that it was working on launching satellite ads to be viewed in the night sky. Its first client, the company said, was PepsiCo. A PepsiCo rep later confirmed to Gizmodo that the company did partner with StartRocket for an “exploratory test” advertising an energy drink but had no plans to continue advertising in space. It’s unclear whether StartRocket may have more clients lined up.

In a video detailing its vision, StartRocket’s ads rise in the sky behind the Golden Gate Bridge, the Eiffel Tower, a Bali temple, London’s Tower Bridge, and Arctic icebergs, competing with the aurora borealis. (StartRocket’s website depicts a dystopia that I cannot possibly capture in words.) The ads would be projected by a constellation of satellites orbiting at about 280 miles above Earth, each equipped with light-reflecting Mylar sails.

Since Sputnik 1 was launched in 1957, satellites have been a mostly invisible part of our daily lives, allowing us to make phone calls, monitor the weather, and map our locations. We can sometimes catch them in the night sky, but they’re hard to spot, even if you’re looking for them. Satellites like StartRocket’s Orbital Display are meant to be watched, and as satellites are becoming easier to launch, our skies could become the biggest screen of all.

StartRocket isn’t alone in the for-profit entertainment satellite game. ALE is the Japanese startup behind Sky Canvas, a project to launch a series of satellites that release shooting stars on demand—“a whole new level of entertainment,” its website boasts. Its first show will take place over Hiroshima in spring 2020.

Then there’s U.S.-based company Elysium Space, which takes artificial shooting stars to a new level: It puts on a show made from your loved ones’ ashes. The company launches a satellite full of cremated remains, which orbits Earth for a couple of years as families and friends can track its journey via an app. When the satellite falls out of orbit and burns up in the atmosphere, voilà, a shooting star. (The company also offers an option to drop off your remains on the moon, which seems like a cold, lonely place to spend eternity, but OK.) Still, that final show will not necessarily be visible to your loved ones. It’s unclear whether Elysium Space notifies them of the satellite’s reentry (we have contacted the company and will update this piece with their response), and even if it does, the festivities might happen on the other side of the planet from them, or during the day.

And why stop at shooting stars? A Chinese company is trying to make an entire fake moon. In October, Chengdu Aerospace Science and Technology Microelectronics System Research Institute Co. announced at a conference that it plans to launch an “artificial moon” satellite eight times brighter than the actual moon. The satellite would remain trained on the city of Chengdu, rendering streetlamps obsolete. How all this would work has not been made public, but CASC says it will be launching as soon as 2020.

slate.com/technology/2019/04/satellites-ads-space-startrocket-sky-canvas-ale-elysium.html?utm_source=pocket-newtab

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I used to do illustrations for my friend Joel Babbit, the advertising genius behind Babbitt and Riemann.

Back in 1996, he was going to have giant fold-out LED Panels launched into orbit to display advertisements in outer space.

He had also openly stated that he intended to take out advertising space on stray dogs, fitting them with vests that played advertisements as they roamed the city.

He scratched both ideas.

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Ooops I almost forgot

Joel was planning on launching the space advertisements for the 1996 Atlanta Olympics

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I'm starting to understand the clown world thing.
Bull fucking shit. You don't just pour your money into something like this and just leave it after a successful test run.
At least we have China to laugh at I guess.

by the way, my Joel Babbit (genius Jew) story is totally unrelated to the source article HOWEVER:

it's important to understand that Joel never actually had any real plans on advertising in space OR putting LED vests on stray dogs.

it was a perfect example of brilliant Jew promotion, because when he made the announcement, people were saying his name all over the globe.

It was nothing more than a case of self-promotion, which led him into even more multimillion-dollar advertising contracts….

He is actually a huge ecology enthusiast, who started the The MotherNatureNetwork.

Joel is an absolute genius multi-multi-multimillionaire…..

Of course he is…. He's Jewish, everything you'll never be… He's the American dream, who actually did something with his life instead of sitting around on a computer looking down his nose at people who have surpassed him with life accomplishments…

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Back when I was doing illustrations for him, Joel had an advertising agency called Babbitt and Reiman, with his business partner Joey Reiman.

They were just a couple of brilliant Jews, who made hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars, while your father created a legacy of futility and obscurity….

It's completely understandable why you're so fucking jealous of Jews.

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I guess it's really no coincidence that in terms of intelligence, Jews come first, then Asians, and then you little white guys are third…

When I stop and think about your resentment and bitterness, I'm empathic enough to be able to feel your pain, and understand the source.

In many ways I feel sorry for you, but not nearly as much as you feel sorry for yourselvea.

It must suck to be white

Thank God I don't live near any major city and I can still look up and see the stars. Get away from these evil corrupt populated dense zombie death traps while you still can. They are growing infestations of cancer!

Why is Babbit’s neck so fat? Bit of a stress eater? He looks like shit and his idea is corny.