Drifter Luke Jenson Arrested For Theft In North Carolina

A man has been arrested for stealing a cow in Mayberry North Carolina, which is a rural town south of Mount Pilot North Carolina.

Tate Fletcher, a local farmer, reported one of his cows was missing, and had the town operator call the Sheriff's Office to investigate. Sheriff Andy Taylor and Deputy Fife came out to Mr. Fletcher's farm and discovered that the cow was indeed missing, but there were no cow hoof prints in the mud, only human footprints.

Mayberry Mayor Roy Stoner called in Special Investigator William Upchurch from Raleigh North Carolina because he felt Sheriff Taylor and Deputy Fife weren't qualified to solve the crime.

Special Investigator Upchurch used his big city investigating skills to make plaster casts of the human footprints that led away from the cow's pen, and developed a big city theory about who stole the cow.

Upchurch's big city theory went nowhere, and Sheriff Taylor's small town know-how ended up solving the crime, when Taylor proved that a drifter named Luke Jenson had put shoes on the cow's hooves to confuse law enforcement.

Luke Jenson was arrested, charged with cow thievin', and is currently in the Mayberry jail serving a short sentence, so the cell will be ready for town drunk Otis tomorrow night.

mayberry.fandom.com/wiki/The_Cow_Thief

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DELIBERATE DESTABILIZATION

Luke here

cows i nice

big ol' floppy titties full o' milk and a spacious youterus for my over sized penis

And the milk is warm!

Id hit deputy fife with a razorblade on the corner of his snitch mouth.

Repotin' for Duty Andy
Me and Ernest T wuz up in the hills lokkin' for Briscoe's still, when we saw the gol darndest thing we ever did see
It looked like a man, but it was as dark as a # 8 billard ball but with the white of the teeth like the white of the ball

I heard of this heer bigfoot,(sac) but this thing was havin' a shit and it's manhood was the biggest thing about it.

It skeedaddled afore I could get a shot at it with my 1 bullet

Floyd sez he wuz a huntin' and he done caught a female one and had his way with it.

I thought it was one of his barber tall tales.

I heard of a family of these things livin' outside a Mayberry, but since i never been out in the yonder, I dunno.


Whad a you thing Andy, should i had shot it?

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lol

Best OP on Zig Forums in months.

Maybe years.

I'll admit that I enjoyed this one, too

pinkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

This is how Floyd would say it
And the 1 bullet that Fife's allowed, shows that this OP is a boomer who has watched a lot of this tv series

No young person of any sanity would watch this today

Wouldn't you be surprised to discover that OP was simply flicking through channels when he got the idea for this thread?

Your jealousy is palpable. Don't be so butthurt that this thread is the best thread in the history of the internet.

actually, no…..

repeating the 'K' isn't correct

the 'I' and the 'N' would be protracted, but not the 'K'

Not him, but I can see we're already going to have a problem today if you don't start protracting that 'k'

reported

But you and I know,(sac) that the only reason that this thread is enjoyable is because of my satiric attack on the fct that The Andy Griffith show had not 1 negro even though in was in the south

My witty pix juxtaposed to my narrative is hilarious as it makes me laugh even though I created it
I am smarter and funnier and more talented than you and I am going severely depressed after a long Canadian winter and at the moment am self medicating


you best beware when I come out of this

you eorgian peach

Yes,(sac) the (sac) is the trademark of this (sac) user,(sac) and JN hasn't the intelligence to mimic so far, so I'd say JN created the original post, and i'd say that this (sac) user created the much funnier black women pink pussy pix of Foyd

This JN fellow has a somewhat mediocre facility with visual imagery, but this (sac) user shows a huge talent for narrative and visual humor.

He may be a famous comedian slumming here

Jim Carry and Martin are from Toronto

Yes,I noticed his trademark
JN is too old and drug addled to notice this and still can't figure out what it means even though it's right under his (((nose)))

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xcellent reply user

i saw some exicans in mayberry one time

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those aint negros

those are hillbillies whose still blew up and got blackened