A man has been arrested for stealing a cow in Mayberry North Carolina, which is a rural town south of Mount Pilot North Carolina.
Tate Fletcher, a local farmer, reported one of his cows was missing, and had the town operator call the Sheriff's Office to investigate. Sheriff Andy Taylor and Deputy Fife came out to Mr. Fletcher's farm and discovered that the cow was indeed missing, but there were no cow hoof prints in the mud, only human footprints.
Mayberry Mayor Roy Stoner called in Special Investigator William Upchurch from Raleigh North Carolina because he felt Sheriff Taylor and Deputy Fife weren't qualified to solve the crime.
Special Investigator Upchurch used his big city investigating skills to make plaster casts of the human footprints that led away from the cow's pen, and developed a big city theory about who stole the cow.
Upchurch's big city theory went nowhere, and Sheriff Taylor's small town know-how ended up solving the crime, when Taylor proved that a drifter named Luke Jenson had put shoes on the cow's hooves to confuse law enforcement.
Luke Jenson was arrested, charged with cow thievin', and is currently in the Mayberry jail serving a short sentence, so the cell will be ready for town drunk Otis tomorrow night.
big ol' floppy titties full o' milk and a spacious youterus for my over sized penis
And the milk is warm!
Josiah Lewis
Id hit deputy fife with a razorblade on the corner of his snitch mouth.
Brody Taylor
Repotin' for Duty Andy Me and Ernest T wuz up in the hills lokkin' for Briscoe's still, when we saw the gol darndest thing we ever did see It looked like a man, but it was as dark as a # 8 billard ball but with the white of the teeth like the white of the ball
I heard of this heer bigfoot,(sac) but this thing was havin' a shit and it's manhood was the biggest thing about it.
It skeedaddled afore I could get a shot at it with my 1 bullet
Floyd sez he wuz a huntin' and he done caught a female one and had his way with it.
I thought it was one of his barber tall tales.
I heard of a family of these things livin' outside a Mayberry, but since i never been out in the yonder, I dunno.
This is how Floyd would say it And the 1 bullet that Fife's allowed, shows that this OP is a boomer who has watched a lot of this tv series
No young person of any sanity would watch this today
Jeremiah Bailey
Wouldn't you be surprised to discover that OP was simply flicking through channels when he got the idea for this thread?
Jayden Kelly
Your jealousy is palpable. Don't be so butthurt that this thread is the best thread in the history of the internet.
Jace Rogers
actually, no…..
repeating the 'K' isn't correct
the 'I' and the 'N' would be protracted, but not the 'K'
Landon Adams
Not him, but I can see we're already going to have a problem today if you don't start protracting that 'k'
Logan Lee
reported
Jackson Ramirez
But you and I know,(sac) that the only reason that this thread is enjoyable is because of my satiric attack on the fct that The Andy Griffith show had not 1 negro even though in was in the south
My witty pix juxtaposed to my narrative is hilarious as it makes me laugh even though I created it I am smarter and funnier and more talented than you and I am going severely depressed after a long Canadian winter and at the moment am self medicating
you best beware when I come out of this
you eorgian peach
Luis Reed
Yes,(sac) the (sac) is the trademark of this (sac) user,(sac) and JN hasn't the intelligence to mimic so far, so I'd say JN created the original post, and i'd say that this (sac) user created the much funnier black women pink pussy pix of Foyd
This JN fellow has a somewhat mediocre facility with visual imagery, but this (sac) user shows a huge talent for narrative and visual humor.
He may be a famous comedian slumming here
Jim Carry and Martin are from Toronto
Joseph Brooks
Yes,I noticed his trademark JN is too old and drug addled to notice this and still can't figure out what it means even though it's right under his (((nose)))
