Christian "dating" thread

A thread to discuss how to find a christian woman to love, marry and be fruitful and multiply.
And maybe things that are related (how to be a man, how to prepare to be a good family man, what should we learn,…)
Of course, I use the term dating with quotes, because I obviously don't refer to the (((Hookup-culture)))/(((casual sex))) fornication.
I assume that everyone ought to marry virgin and sexual pure, both man and woman in this context.

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So, s a Catholic, should I avoid seeking and observing (in the dating sense) women at secular places, like universities or schools ?
And another famous question…How should we know that the woman we are frequenting is sexually chaste and virgin? That's my fear to marry a woman that has sexually sinned against her temple, it will damage the marriage and family from the very start, but how would you know if you are in face to a prude girl ? Some women even go to the doctor to re-do their hymen so that they can fool their soon to be husband. Furthermore, I can't ask her to show her vagina to see if her virgin knot is preserved or not.
Anyway, that would be my two questions.
Relevant mp4. by the way.

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If she is shy, antisocial, doesn't go to parties then there's a pretty good chance of her being a virgin

This Zelda waifuism is seriously cringy. Polite sage for off-topic.

Brah..check the catalog

First you must hold yourself to the standards you expect of others. If you want a fit woman, you need to be fit. If you want a pious woman, you need to be pious and so on. One litmus test for a stable relationship is if you share the same fundamental beliefs about life. Does she like abortion? Is being homo okay? Does she even pray? You need to have standards and stick with them.

Winnie the POOH, man.

Time to get lifting so you you're strong enough to carry her over your doorstep after you're wed user. Good luck!

go for it anyway friend. nothing to lose :)

Just means you don't have to bend your back when hugging.

.. or have to give one of those retarded limp armed hugs where the arms just sort of hang down around her.

If she really does like you, then the height difference must not bother her. Assuming you don't notice any serious red flags, go for it lad, and remember not to buy her heels.

I would say you can only punch to the side and down. If you're a KHV then go for it, but if you've engaged in oral sex, then it's a bit hypocritical to demand a woman that has had no contact whatsoever.

So is it even worth going for extroverts? I could use a better half to balance me out.

I've kissed a girl when I was around 9 years old, she took my hand, went in the bed and kissed for 5 minutes.
I really don't know what happenend there.
Never did anything else…I've tried to become a fornicator but I've been so bad that I've failed, even if there were girls who liked me I guess.

Get thee to East or Southeast Asia, my son. Many beautiful Christian women there that still obey the Lord's commands to wives to submit to their husbands in everything per Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3.

no its not hypocritical at all really. i have gotten 1 (one) blow job in my life, meaning 1 (one) girl has had her mouth on my dingaling. now lets apply this to a woman. if we were going on the same standards, that would mean that she would be allowed to have had 1 (one) mouth on her dingaling. thats fair. BUT if she had sucked 1 (one) man's dingaling, thats a completely different thing! that means that if we were to apply her standard to me, then i would be allowed to have sucked 1 (one) dingaling in the past, which would be WAY worse than me getting my dingaling sucked!

and putting all of that aside, most christian women don't give a winnie the pooh if you've been sexual in the past, and really its up to them. if you winnie the poohed up in the past, there's really nothing stopping you from demanding a virgin waifu, but that doesn't mean you're entitled to one.

and btw i'm not coping or anything because i let some skank slob my knob. i have no intentions of getting married, i'd rather die ASAP and be done with this ride ASAP

No offense but I feel like you've got some bigger issues to work through

thats literally what i said.

You do not deserve her.

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Tall women are a great example of how marriage is a less than ideal situation. If you want big progeny you had better marry a tall woman, but then you have to have a tall woman.

These fricking plebs on here seriously want to date midgets or something?

Well just how tall are we talking? 511-5'4 is a good range. Maybe even a little shorter, but I'd probably prefer 5'9 and under.

Idk man. I like women of all heights, really. My gf is a tiny bit taller than me.

Am 6'4" and wife is 5'2". Tall women are not attractive.

Absolutely pleb.

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user, I…

Do her personal failures and falls diminish her beauty, tho?
She’s still a gorgeous looking woman.

Somewhat related to /relationship/ and /nature of women/ and /SIG/
My take is that you first have to forge yourself. Some guys are deluded to think a woman will sort their problems out. Well it works the other way around. A woman does not know what she wants and she expects the man to lead her…even if she claims the opposite, this is the underlying role of sexes. You are the man, you are the stable element. That does not mean the woman will not do anything to support you and encourage you. But to put it plainly if a man has no direction in life, just plays vidya, watches trash t shows, jerks off to anime…what does he have to offer to a girl?
I short things to work on:
If you want a pious girl you have to be pious yourself, the faith is one of the most important you will share in your relationship. If she's too far ahead of you you will have to step your level up. If she's too low it might be a problem too for you.
You need something to secure a family with her
You need to be an interesting guy, in other words not just a vidya/8ch autist, but actually IRL hobbies. That does not mean do everything. Just few things that really get you…show that you can get into things with enthusiasm.
You want to have good aesthetics to attract the girl as well as strength to defend her when needed. Working out will do you good…increase your confidence, make you a better version of yourself.

I do not want this to become a ranting post that has been mentioned in /nature of women/ or /relationship/ but I will point out again the importance of STOPPING MASTURBATING WATCHING PORN. You need all testosterone and confidence you can have from your body to turn the things for the better. Stop sinning against God and stop ruining your body that is made in His image. SIG, Reading, getting grounded in faith and trial/error will get you tougher and therefore naturally better with women.

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."
To put it plainly you have to deserve the crown. But the crown has to deserve you too once you get the qualities. Do not be the guy that puts women on the pedestal.
Work on yourself hard and then have the high standard for them…if you do not work on yourself the high standard might be useless.

Of course it isn't just about yourself, but about the girl too. The crown must be deserving of her king too. As important as your personal struggle is so is seeking the girl in the right places, knowing the red flags.

Then it comes to the girl. Of course you want her to be the best you can get as far as looks and character are concerned. We must realize however that majority of best looking women are thots nowadays. Just remember that character always beats the superior looks. Beauty will eventually fade, the kindness of heart will not.
I recommend looking for girl around church. Most solid girls I met were around the church communities….after all even if we did not meet there….she went to church anyway. So that's it. Frequenting bars/parties with friends is fine but do not expect to find gold among filth there. Your chances of finding your virgin are low. Among your hobbies sort the places out so you get the idea where higher quality girls hang out.
Tattoos, unusual colored hair, attention whoring online, yoga pants wore outside, revealing clothes, her attitude towards physical contact with you early on, her mentioning sexual topics.
Those are few that cross my mind
For the girl it seems that there are less things at first…..we tend to think "the girl just has to be there and not look like a troll woman." Well if you want a woman of good heart look for the kindness and character. Cooking, manual skills and her attachment to her family is also very important.
Her politics are secondary. Primary are her skills to become a housewife and mother one day.

That would be my effortpost take.

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You may seek and observe even there. But be aware that there is a lower percentage of women meeting your requirements.
Difficult. If the girl is honest she will mention how many boyfriends she had. When you will date for a longer time you may come across this topic of chastity perhaps she will open up if she sinned.
Other than that the red flags are useful.
Obviously.
This is a tough topic. After all you will be bound to trust the woman. The best option is to go with a pious girl who did not have a boyfriend yet/had few of them and is honest enough to talk about it before marriage after you two trust enough.

I want a virgin but I am no longer one so this is a topic for me to settle in future. I am not sure what to do tbh.

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So you sodomized her?

neato.

There's a huge crisis in masculinity right now, and telling this guy that got one blowjob in his life, probably from a total skank, and is ashamed and doesn't want to get married, that he's the problem, is the problem.

Your real problem men are men like me who not only gave a few women the D, but also prevented several couples from getting together because the women were too interested in signaling availability to me because I didn't pick one and signal unavailability.

But your real problem is the entire concept of higher education, and womens' empowerment, before which men and women would get married at 18-22 as virgins, or a bit earlier if they couldn't keep their hands off each other.

Expecting virginity from a 26 year old woman is ridiculous. It's possible for a man, but it's going to affect his personality, turning him into a betaboi woman worshiper.

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Her personal failures do not diminish her carnal beauty. They might - when you consider the character - influence her beauty as a whole. As a whole person. A combination of her character and her looks.
But I agree that her being a lesbian does not diminish her carnal beauty.
Her inner beauty…it does.

Yeah, no, first you need to prove your obscene allegation, second, even if she did lez out at some point, plz2understand she did so at a time when literally everyone who was cool was trying to urge everyone else to try doing the gay if not trying it themselves.

Taylor sings lots of great songs about the female desire for marriage, while making it sound to record execs like slut culture. She is a rare countercultural figure. And if she goes crazy now, it's because 30 year old women aren't supposed to be unmarried. She made a music video for her mother about when she was six in the late 90s recently. It was hauntingly sad.

Would you guys ever consider dating a woman who has had relationships before? Or more importantly, a woman who has been raped? I'm in the waiting-for-trial stage and I'm fearful I'll never find somebody who would want somebody so broken. I found God through my pain and I know He forgives me, but I think I'll never be clean enough in a man's eyes.

I've never dated a woman who has been raped before but I want to believe there is hope for someone like that. I would be extremely careful with who you tell that to or get into a relationship with but I believe that the right person would be caring and understanding enough to comfort such a person.
As for a woman who has been in relationships, it depends on the type of relationships she has had before. If it was very juvenile or tame, then it wouldn't be an issue but if it was a very sexually charged relationship then I would be pretty hesitant. The more relationships that woman has had of that nature makes me extremely skeptical to be around her or considering her as a potential wife.

Essentially what this user said

Of course. I've never met an adult woman who hasn't had past relationships. What would worry me is if she's been in many relationships or if they've been of a sexual nature.
So long as she's willing to work past that trauma and is open to sex after marriage (I do want to have kids), yes. A woman I liked opened up to me about how she was raped, and while in that moment I felt terrible for her, it didn't make me feel any less attracted to her.
I can tell you from experience that there are a lot of young single men in non-denominational churches, but if I'll be blunt, they all tend to be emasculated. Have you looked into Catholic Churches in your area at all? I'm a recent convert to Catholicism, and while there's a lot of old people and young couples at my local Church, there's some young singles as well. My diocese does a lot of volunteer work and young adult activities as well. I'm not sure if that's the case where you live, but it might be worth looking into.
Only Satan would have you believe that you're past the point of no return. Christian men generally don't see rape victims as "unclean", unless it was under questionable circumstances (e.g. drunk at a party) or if it resulted in a pregnancy and you aborted the baby.

Rape

Thank you for these words of support. I'm very careful with who I consider based on how I think they'll react to my past trauma.


It happened 5 years ago for me and I've done extensive therapy, I definitely feel ready for a marriage and kids.
I'm protestant and have many reservations about Catholicism. It's my first day on this board but I've noticed it's Cath leaning. I've also heard there's more singles at Catholic churches, but I wouldn't feel right going to one with all my reservations.
(also there was no pregnancy so I am good in that regard)

That's good. Continue to pursue those goals and, God willing, you'll one day be rewarded for your efforts.
As did I. Have you done much research into the Church? I held many misconceptions that kept me from even remotely considering Catholicism until others on here forced me to reconsider my Protestant upbringing.
We're glad to have you here user, and indeed it does have a Catholic slant. If there were no stubborn Catholics here defending their Faith and challenging others' beliefs, I most likely would still be Protestant.
No, of course not; if you choose to pursue Catholicism, it should be a decision made wholeheartedly. I'm not sure if you're much of a reader, but one book that dispelled my reservations about the Church was "Rome Sweet Home" by Scott & Kimberly Hahn. Anyway, I don't mean to shill for Rome… I'm just very passionate about it is all.
Glad to hear it!

If she's over 5'10", just go for it.

If she's 5'4", you might want to try looking for a wife in a country where the average female height is 5'0".

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I could only court an Orthodox Christian girl, and while a virgin is the most preferable, one may not be available in today’s world. This is all situational. Is a woman kind? Is she a homemaker? Does she want children? Is she modest? Does she love God or mock God?
Everything else can be forgiven.

You are right to have reservations about Roman Catholicism. I urge you to research Orthodoxy.

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