I don't know what to do or where to go. Janitors/mods please have mercy on me if this breaks some rules.
I have been plagued with homosexual temptations since I was 11 years old (now 18). About the same age I was introduced to internet pornography (no surprise). I've been resisting them as much as I can over the years. I'm attracted to and have only dated women, but deep within my mind an attraction and urge to engage with men has existed, tormenting me. Tonight, I failed. I thought I had put all of the crossdressing, gay urges, etc behind me but iy resurfaced in a way that I succumbed to. I engaged in sexual actions with other men only a few hours ago.
I don' know what to do. How do I fight/rid myself of these urges? I don't feel any guilt and that worries me. I don't want to be a sodomite. Please help me and pray for me.
You'll be okay lad. Just keep praying. Remember that many go through similar and triumph. Resources:
Asher Martinez
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Isaac Jones
Wow, pretty crazy to be a reprobate already when you're only 11 years old.
Justin Price
Watch this video.
Evan Hall
Pray the rosary and fast for a minimum of three days. Both do wonders to kill vices and to subdue your body's lower passions. Much like how an army surrounds and cuts off food and water to a city/settlement to starve the populace until they submit, you must also do the same to your body to make it submit to your mind and God. Praying the rosary will also help as it is our weapon agianst vice and keeps your mind centered around God. Prayer also helps dull the hunger pains.
Also, throw away any clothes you use to crossdress and delete any numbers and apps related to your sin. Heck, if you want to play it safe. Just get a new phone number and only tell essential people the new number (work, family, friends that don't enable you, etc).
And of course, I will also be praying for you. Remember, you have a family in heaven rooting for you and cheering you on as you fight this spiritual warfare we all must endure. God love you, OP.
Eli Hill
One of the side-effects of the internet and technology in general is the exposure to degenetate conent. I know this very well, oh how much porn I found in limewire when I only wanted some nirvana songs, my poor 10'year old psyche.
Easton Turner
It may sound like a meme, OP, but intensive prayer and self-deprivation does wonders. Confession, too.
Brody Hall
Many of us are in the same boat, friend; like others pointed out: pray, fast and above all put yourself in His hands and next our blessed Lady’s heart. It’s not going to be easy, but life and especially a good life is a battle: within and outside yourself.
Xavier Price
don't go next to them or people like them again, or at least do so less, that way you can handle your urges at more manageable levels.
I always hated the whole “gay” thing…the word just meant happy, now it’s almost inseparable from that degenerate lifestyle; they stole that word and even God’s sign of peace, the rainbow.
Jaxson Martin
How often do you masturbate, OP? Masturbation leads to depravation (pic related). Try to be chaste and calm. At 18 you're probably a mess of hormones. Failing is OK as long as you're not complacent with it; we all fail. One of the things that has worked wonders for me no avoid jerking before sleeping (it was the hardest masturbation habit to get rid of) is to pray "Hail Mary" before going to bed. Try also to not have an "run away" attitude towards your urges. Don't ignore them, confront them By ignoring them you just swept them under the rug, but they're still there. Again, adolescence and perversion tend to go hand in hand. I believe that you don't so much eliminate your failings as grow stronger than them. If you learn to face your vices now, it'll be much easier to get rid of them when you're in your mid 20s and the hormones fade away. Keep trying to walk the right path and it'll work out in the end. You won't be a sodomite if you don't want to. Have faith.
As many of our brothers and sisters in Christ have already suggested. Fast and deprive your body of food and instead give it what it really needs, prayer. Also, stay away from the screens. Can't look at porn and be tempted if you have no screens to tempt you with.
Dispite what some diabolical prots might say, you are not a reprobate, OP. You too can be saved by the blood of Jesus Christ.
I'm sorry, user, I know how difficult it is to struggle with the carnal urge. I will pray for you. I hope this resource helps you: couragerc.org/
Nicholas Cox
I feel you OP. I also suffer with degenerate sexual impulses but in my case I like little girls. I do my best to fight these feelings, and I don't believe I'll ever act on them. I'm sorry you have acted on yours and I will pray for you.
Bentley Watson
Imagine cutting out your fantasies spiritually with a knife just like you are actually cutting off a part of your body
Do you want to feel guilty? I wouldn't worry too much. Like with all animals, the human sexual drive is strong. Those who deny it and are talked into believing it can be prayed away, ironically have a tendency of end up in the velvet mafia. If you don't want to be a sodomite, paying extra attention to consent would serve you well. I would suggest talking with a female you trust, it's risky, but she could massively improve your quality of life.
