I don't know what to do. I'm gay. I don't want to be gay, but I am. It's insufferable to be a Christian who is gay...

I heard nofap helps with straightening out some peoples sexuality.

There is no such thing is being gay, you simply have some bad habits which lead you to feel towards certain things a way you shouldn't.
youtube.com/watch?v=vXw73Hlw2c0
edwardfeser.blogspot.com/2018/12/the-sexual-revolution-devours-its.html (this one is very important, debunks the idea of sexual orientation itself, that we somehow have an identity that has to do with that )
youtube.com/watch?v=z7V1W967ofA
youtu.be/rynlfggqAcU

Here are some good resources, it's literally just a bad habit.
Develop the virtue of chastity and build in holiness, and develop proper masculine virtues.

Do you remember who first abused you? Thats a big thing you need to think about to overcome, any gay ive met inevitably has a story about being abused when they were young. other than that its important to stop all porn and degenerative sex acts to help reset your brain and spirit.

1] You are not gay. You are a person with an affliction. If you have cancer, you do not say "I am cancer."
2] Stop frog posting. Frog posting is gay.

This is one of the most fair analyses of homosexuality I’ve seen: stjohndc.org/en/orthodoxy-foundation/christian-understanding-homosexuality

Today, homosexuality is considered a core part of people’s identities, but at other times it was considered a behavior someone engages in. The link above describes how views of it have changed in different cultures.

Based on that, I don’t think you should consider it your identity. People have all kinds of thoughts enter their head. I’ve had some same sex thoughts but I’ve never wanted to actually do it. I’ve had all kinds of weird thoughts at times.

Stop looking at porn that has men in it helps. If you don’t look at porn, don’t start. But if you are already, ease out it by looking only at women, then stop.

There is evidence to suggest genetic predispositions to homosexual behavior, but as the link above says, that doesn’t mean you are destined to live a homosexual lifestyle. A person who has genetic predispositions to alcoholism is not destined to become an alcoholic. There is a complex combination of nature and nurture working together. For nurture, it depends on when the events happen, in what order, in what combination with other events, and how resilient or sensitive someone is. People aren’t born gay.

There is a condition where girls are flooded with a male hormone in the womb. All the girls want to play with male toys rather than female. Some become lesbians. It’s less than half. I can’t remember the exact amount. You could argue more would if it were 100% socially acceptable to be a lesbian, but I don’t think the condition means someone has to become a lesbian. It’s a disorder, and we should have compassion for these people and give them opportunities to get help.

There will always be people engage in the behavior because people who aren’t ready or interested in getting help won’t get help.

Google ex-gay and read their stories. You never hear about them in mainstream media.

I used to be more live and let live about homosexuality, but even then I saw that things LGBT activists say make no sense. They say love is love, yet if someone decides to stop being gay they don’t support those people. They also say you are born this way and must accept it, but also say sexuality is fluid and people can change. And most gay people stop identifying as gay later.

Homosexual behavior is a disorder and people need help to get it under control. Don’t worry about being perfect (ie don’t have gay relationships but if you have some gay thoughts occasionally recognize they are bad and continue with your life).

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not op but thank you for sharing that link, very insightful

I know a woman who lived a life as a lesbian and became Catholic and now she's married and has a daughter. There is hope for you, user, but that doesn't mean it will be easy. It will be very difficult, and your disordered sexual desires will leave scars on your mind perhaps for the rest of your life. For the rest of your life you may carry with you certain 'defects' so to speak that are typical of homosexuals, for example, narcissism affects homosexuals in a very disproportionate way. Even recovering men with SSA who are either celibate or married will have to deal with that for decades after the fact. We are eternally forgiven of all our sins by the Lord when we confess them and receive absolution, but what remains is the temporal punishment intrinsic to sinful behavior. Take heart, user, it will be very difficult but with the grace of God (I mean it, pray for the Lord's grace every day and you shall receive it little by little Mt. 7:7-14) you will overcome your disordered passions. I, myself, am a benefactor of the grace of the Lord. Countless times in my life has he saved me from myself and I always feel so unworthy. It would be just that he allowed me to perish on a few occasions yet here I am. And so He shall watch over you. You will be tested for a long time, user, but week by week you will get better. Pray daily, fast daily, go to confession weekly, and get off the internet. If you struggle with pornography and masturbation, uninstall all social media apps and get off the Chans (expect Zig Forums). Little tricks like that will go a long way. Good luck user and God bless!

You aren't gay, you're just tricked by Satan and his children (the Jews).
NoFap and pray.

yes i do but what about it

I did it by praying the rosary every night, having a productive hobby like coding, and not screwing people. The rosary keeps me focused.

Improve your relationshop with your father.

Going through a similar struggle. Just started a discord server to form a community for Christian men struggling with SSA. Pass it along to anyone you think might benefit.

discord.gg/hHFeun

Just don't be gay.

Avoid the occasions of sin and maintain chastity.

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before i started trying to go full cold turkey on fapping once i even thought about fapping to traps i would take a week off

Can you explain to them how instead of basically telling them "figure it out on your own or you're winnie the poohed lol"

knock it off

Hey user there are a couple of really great books out there for gay Christians. I highly encourage you to check out washed and waiting and then there is another book by a christian psychologist called homosexuality and the christian (by mark yarhouse)

I'm not gay nor have I ever struggled to reconcile my spirituality with my sexuality, but I feel like this is relevant.

I cannot imagine the struggle, but I pray for you that the holy spirit may grant you the strength needed to turn from your temptations. We are all sinners after all. God bless.

It's also a shame for so many people to react with criticism and derision instead of reconciliation. Then again, I don't really have high expectations for this board when it comes to sensitive matters such as this.Know there are those of us who care though user. God loves you, and it's great that you aren't letting the world tear you from your faith like so many others with your struggle. You are a stronger man than I.

Again, God bless.

It's kind of sad so many people hear can cry and moan about things like Nofap and Porn, yet when people with your issues come along suddenly everyone gets all "holier than thou" and starts namecalling, spouting Zig Forums bs, and telling you to die.

Very Christian.

winnie the pooh traps, 90% of this site will tell you it's totally not gay.

What if I told you user, it was all a lie? One big giant lie. And that what you experience as being "gay" can in fact be cured with knowledge, understanding, and training? Those who have lived long enough know how it is done. Keep asking.

There's only one thing you can do. Practice celibacy. If it makes you feel better, all single men are called to celibacy until marriage. Christ made no distinction between fornicators and practicing homosexuals, aside from the degree of abomination. Both are subject to hell unless they repent.

First of all stop watching all that pornography, it's homosexual, sodomite conditioning.

Second take a vacation / study abroad program in Eastern Europe (half joking here).

Wow I never considered that….

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pray constantly, stop watching porn, and study and meditate on the bible. Being a big gay is a spiritual matter, and the Lord Jesus Christ can help you out of it.
a good thing to do is disconnect from all electronic devices and internet, and spend time with the Lord.

You are falling into the grip of Satan. With true faith in God, no one can be a homosexual. Cease your degenerate habits, study your Bible twice as intensely and pray for your soul.

Protestantism in action

Great charity there, friend.

What if 50% of men felt the same way, but we suck it up, marry a women, have kids and do whata morally right?

Future saint Seraphim Rose waa gay for years, yet he left paganism, became a devoted monk, and helped many people overcome their problems.
He wrote many books, and he isnt the only one.

user, life is hard. Think of all the others who have it worse than you. Who think animals are sexy, men who want to chop their dick off, or who want to eat poop.
Do you think they give in? No

Whats wrong is you have urges, you want to act on them. Read the book of James, there are 3 types of sin. Its in the first few pages of james, he lays it out.

I'll pray for you, but you have options, you arent the only man in the wolrd throughout history with this issue, nor will you be the last, dont give in. Hell user, Hell is real…

you can be true to yourself and live a christian, virtuous and happy life by simple abstinence . Do not beat yourself up with inner conflict about your desires its simply part of being human but be pious enough to abstain. Temptation is real for all regardless of desire dont suffer inner torture over your desires simply accept them as part of life but be able to control them is the key. We are all unique and have foibles and your just happens to include a desire for same sex intimacy. The thoughts are not wicked as we all sin in different ways its merely the implementation of the desires that is. Have faith be happy sex does not define who we are it is merely a small part of life

Stop being gay you cuck

It's not gay if you just kiss dudes. Djebus did it first.

This is a sad place on the internet. OP, best of luck denying who you are in exchange for believing in a fake overlord.

Perhaps the best place to use this meme on the entire board.

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Stop being a faggot

Well OP the Bible says something like pluck out your eye or cut off blah blah if it leads you to sin / to offend god.

So what I'd do is beg god "give me death or give me freedom from this sin, but do not let me live another day like this".

That's what I've done but for a different sin. God will grant your desire if it is sincere.

Btw OP just avoid porn, avoid sexual thoughts, fap to nothing in particular or don't fap at all, and you'll become normal in due time.

To avoid sexual thoughts, just observe a thought and disengage from it, and it dies. It has some power of its own but it then burns out. You can achieve silence in your mind this way, just observing thoughts dispassionately, not being identified or involved in them.

You are not "gay". You are not even your body or anything else that can be said to belong to you. Whatever is added unto you can be taken away, whatever is your possession is not you. Only the I AM is truly you.

Forget what nonsense you've been told about who you are. All that you really are is divine spark, self-existence, pure consciousness, a fragment of god. The lord is within you and you within him, that he may manifest the fullness of himself.

Pray to the lord for salvation from your sins, know that upon your own strength alone you can not stand, and give thanks to him that he is the power and that through his son you may have grace. He will free you.

I am that I am.

1 John 4:8 -

God loves you, bro.

People wan't you to think being gay is this huge part of you, and they want to tell you all about it and everything thats wrong with it because because calling you a sinner is easier than them examining their own conscience.

Yes, there are many problems in the so called "gay world" - but again, promiscuity and perversion are massive problems in the straight world. But, just like the straight world, most gay people aren't perverts. It's the same thing, instead of examining their own lives, it's easier to focus on "the other".

Love yourself, be kind to yourself. Love God with all your heart. mind, strength and soul, and love your neighbour as yourself.

Matthew 7:5 is the verse I was trying to think of:

To anyone who makes you feel less than, just remember this verse, understand their way of being is a result of their own fears, misunderstandings and rationalisations, just as yours are. Then forgive them and move on.

Paul didn't really mean literally that people with homosexual attractions will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.

Paul was simply observing the massively gay Greeks who he associated with pagan and idolatrous practices. He's using "people who have shameful lusts" as a dig at the Greeks.

My belief is that you can be a gay man in a sexual relationship with another man and still be loved by God - however, I do have to agree with you about the whole "being gay" thing - the biggest mistake the gay rights activists ever made is allowing "gay" to become a way of being in the collective consciousness.

So while I may be a person who is in a homosexual relationship, I am first and foremost a person, and all persons are loved equally by God. I'm not "being gay" and more than I am "being right handed" - sexual attraction is just one data point in a constellation of trillions of data points that make up every unique person.

I agree that God loves everyone but he doesn't approve of every behavior. And having a homosexual relationship is one of them. God loves them in the sense that he wants these people to repent.

If you are in a homosexual relationship, of course, that does not make you who you are but you are "being gay" and yes that must be avoided. My point was centered around self identification of someone who seeks to abstain from sinful desire - a direct response to OP who knows his desires are wrong.

well, I disagree, but peace be with us both brother

What is it exactly that you disagree with? I never said that to be carnally minded devoids you of God's love; simply that it is exceedingly sinful and should be avoided and you surely cant disagree with that unless you've been reading a different book to everyone else here.
God bless.

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Let me first tell you what I believe about God and being gay. Then I'll reply to your claim that I must be reading a different book.

I used to be a self hating Christian gay guy. It made me miserable every second of every day. I thought you couldn't possibly be loved by God and be gay at the same time.

I believed that being gay was a disorder caused by some traumatic past or something I couldn't remember a lifetime ago. And because I believed that, I thought that if I just did something to heal or forget whatever that I was then I didn't have to be gay and God would love me.

So I searched for years for what was causing me to be Gay, day after day, year after year. And in about 20 years of searching all I found was a tonne of internalised homophobia. And so I changed what I was searching for. Instead of asking myself every second, "whats making me gay", I switched it to "whats making me disklike gays and being gay?"

I whittled it down to two things:

To me being gay meant being an effeminate pervert in a sea of other effeminate perverts and the gay agenda was just to make more gay effeminate perverts.

But realising that a hatred of effeminate men was actually just a general hatred of the feminine, I realised my internalised homophobia was actually just mysoginy. I hated women and anything feminine. It had nothing to do with homosexuality.

That was the inside bit. Perversion, I realised, is an external, social thing. For example, here, marying your sister is both a perversion and an act of abuse, but 2000 miles away, its the social norm and I wouldn't have these hangups had I been born there instead of here. This made me realise my hatred of perversion was just a general hatred of perversion, gay or straight. Its just that there are more straight people than gay people, and its hard for all of us to examine ourselves, so the majority naturally point elsewhere, to "the other", and say "look at all that perversion going on in the gay community" rather than solve their own issues with perversion. All thats happened is that because the media is controlled by the majority, I started to believe that gay automatically = pervert.

In having those two realisations, it then clicked, the two big things I didn't like about the gay world, I didn't like about the straight world either. Everything I was carrying on my shoulders about how I better not let anyone know I'm gay or they might think I'm an effeminate pervert too, suddenly vanished because the things I was worried about never actually had anything to do with being gay, they both happen in the straight world too.

Now, being a mysoginist is certainly something to work on, but damn does it feel good not to hate myself anymore.

I realised that these are human struggles, they're not gay struggles. I realised if the media had brainwashed me to this extent, maybe this is how every self-hating minority feels. I realised that our shared struggle is the basis of our call to sainthood. Each and every one of us.

And thats why I believe you can be in a sexually active homosexual relationship and still be loved by God. Because God's love is inclusive, it calls all because all share the same struggle regardless of label.

As for your claims about reading a different book:

Ultimately love yourself, love your neighbour (because they're struggling just like you), and love God

step 1 dont call yourself gay
step 2 admit attraction to other men is a temptation by evil
step 3 reflect when this temptation first came to you
step 4 reflect on when this temptation comes to you
step 5 avoid those things that lead to temptation
step 6 if all else fails, follow the example of St. Benedict, who jumped into a thorn bush to overcome his sexual temptations.

Ok, i had feared you would be one of those types, but i was hopeful. That being an sexually active sodomite relatioship is ok in God's eyes. God, this is why protestantism doesn't work. People will twist everything to match their desires. Luther, you failed, and thank God i'm a catholic. Will be praying for you

Well, you are OP after all

Mental gymnastics. Just because you once had a skewed and hateful view of homosexuals and yourself and have since realized that error has no bearing on the truth.

Homosexual intercourse is not fruitful nor is it natural that is what separates it from regular fornication. Homosexual relationships can never ever be in accordance with god and to admit to yourself that you're going to ignore that is much worse than to suffer moments of weakness and succumb to your urges.

Saying that god still loves you over and over again doesn't prove the point that what you're doing is okay.

I'll pray for you buddy..

i imagine it is

i would hate to be similarly defining my identity as say, 'a Christian who picks their nose in public' or 'a Christian who has a messy house'

yeah, that would be pretty miserable if i defined myself as anything other than what God has declared me to be; and added to it some other category or sin that i am tempted toward

i mean, before i was a christian i loved to break the speed limit when driving – and i'm still tempted to do it

i also liked to get riotously intoxicated and i'm still tempted to do that also

and from my understanding of Christ's words that anyone who holds anger in their heart is a murderer, and anyone who holds lust in their heart is an adulterer – and since everyone has murder and adultery in their heart, would i then have to define myself as 'a Christian who is a nose-picking, messy house having, law-breaking, murderer and adulterer'?

well hoo boy, that would make me do all kinds of sad

perhaps you should stick to what God has said about you, and not bind yourself within such narrow parameters as your sexual proclivities

diddle kids like most fag christians do, that should help.

steven-anderson-kill-themselves.mp4

Stop worrying about changing who or what you are, about what God made you or why, and about what your identity means to God. You’re his creation and he loves you unconditionally.

Put your attention instead into your behavior and your desire to live for God and to do his will. You aren’t here to overcome homosexuality. You aren’t here to be miserable or celibate, or to be dishonest in a romantic relationship with a woman. Your purpose here is much more meaningful than that. Stay in touch with God and look for his guidance and that purpose will be revealed to you. Resist temptations wherever they appear, and don’t feel pressured to put special attention to those temptations that involve sex. All of them are to be avoided, not just the gay ones.

What advice can we give fags except stop and repent? What advice can we give any sinner except stop and repent?

God did not "make" sodomites that way. It's human depravity and the conditioning of sin.

God could not create evil, God is not free to do anything evil. He is contained by His own nature.

First of all, I thought you were talking to me about masturbation.

Secondly, I understand that all the advice we can give them is repent, try to be cellebate, and if you slip up be sure to go to confession or the like. My main issue with this thread is the aggression despite the fact that OP clearly is remorseful and feels super conflicted internally. When someone is like this, consolation and advice is the best thing we can give them, not "lol, you're going to hell fag!" I make jokes about gays now and again, but in cases like this as someone who struggles with libido an sexual urges as well, albeit straight but pretty kinky I want OP to feel welcome rather than cast him out. Like I said earlier, we're all sinners here.

I think either approach is a caricature. I am a sinner. We are all fallen beings, but how "welcoming" should we be? This shouldn't just be a hugbox for those who sexualize fecal matter.

I hope men who have sinned in this way find Christ and understand Christ's forgiveness can reach them. They can stop living in sin.

Here's a novel idea…

DITCH THE winnie the pooh SUPERSTITION AND
EMBRACE REALITY.