I think I might have sold my soul to the devil for a girlfriend when I was 15...

I think I might have sold my soul to the devil for a girlfriend when I was 15. I vaguely remember being sad as winnie the pooh and saying some gay shit like that outloud. Had first girlfriend year later or something. Life has been nothing but hell for 15 years now. Just a long series of ever increasing bad things.

this has winnie the poohed my shit permanently correct? i am to take it that is game over for god correct?

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You can't give the devil what you don't even own, selling yourself to the devil is not a thing that is possible. Repent, go to confession, eat the Bread of Life, and live.

I pray for forgiveness and mercy every day, not for the devil thing, just in general. I also pray to ask for the way to be shown to me to seek what I must knock on. I pray for strength and the clarity to see his will to carry out.

It is ineffective.

His will is simple and is always the same, read the Gospels, particularly, Matthew chapter 5. Live it. Doesn't matter if you hear from Him or not, He has said anyone who does these things loves Him and He and His father will come live in them for this. Ask for the strength to follow those 5 commands in that chapter, and then do it. Other than that, read and meditate on the Way to Christ by Jakob Boehme, it has everything in it you need, even on the first section "Of True Repentence" to gain Wisdom. prayers to say, etc.

only reason I made this thread is because I have been really digging deep trying to find what I could have done to make him ignore me so much. I am sick of pareidolia'ing signs in my cherrios, they no longer seem to be real or were ever real. i think he ignores me.

I have read the bible, it also says ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock -> opened.

it also says blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

..It is ineffective.

btw, that was in matthew

Matthew 5:4

if he was referring to being comforted ironically, bravo. i was had.

Im not even asking for a damn happy smile on my face and good things. i am asking for him to show me the way, give me hope to live and not think about suicide so much.

i am not asking for unrealistic things. I have lived long enough now, almost 35, to see that nothing will probably change. this seems to be it, endless wandering, suffering, and speaking to a dead ear despite wanting to have purpose and being unable to find it using my will alone.

imagine being alive with jesus, wonder what those lucky bastards felt like talking to someone that actually answered.

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/thread

Why did your dad let you back on the internet, Kenneth? Go take your meds and stick to your own boards.

it may help to be less lazy when posting in other peoples threads, and then having the pride to think you are the one to end the thread with your hasty judgement.


whatever.

"sell soul to a devil" is a dumb folk meme and superstition. You are child of God, same God, who clearly states that all souls are His (Ezekiel 18:4). Go to a confession and don't bother with such idiotic memes again.

Chances are you could just be depressed and possibly suffering from some degree of deliria from the hardships you're going through that many people are and have been prone to as well.
Anyone could probably claim being assailed by malevolent spiritual forces yet what they all have in common is that they can't be proven or seen, so at the end of the day there's a good chance that anything that happens is going to rest on the individual in the eyes of everyone else.

You sound like the type to stand and just experience one calamity after another in just utter bewilderment and disbelief that it could get worse. At times like those the best and only thing to do is to grab strength and trudge forward with doing what you need to in order to accomplish what's necessary to get to where you want to be and not allow yourself to be consumed by a trial/temptation.
Nature shows us that the world doesn't stop for anything and simply treads over anything it's able to. It's everyone's purpose to keep theirselves from being trodden over.
Through cultivation of your spirituality you may ascend in some manner beyond the mundanity of the world.

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well yes.


yes, and that makes me even less hopeful for god listening to me if everyone else and children suffer so much when asking for gods grace and mercy and receiving nill.


right, so despite the word salad, I agree. We will constantly suffer due to our own will being shit, and we will do this alone with no answers to our prayers in anyway that we can comprehend without some sort of mental gymnastics after one of our own thoughts for all we know, if that makes sense.

Not in anyway did I allude to this, I am under no sort of bewilderment or disbelief in exponential suffering alone in this world.


Yes, but my will only extends so far user. I am not the father, the father is the one who I ask for strength when I alone cannot do it. I ask and he ignores.


Ok.

Without wanting to be offensive, OP, you sound arrogant. You're demanding God to do something, as is you deserve it. What you should get from God is not for you to decide, and what you deserve is not for you to judge. About a year ago I was struggling with depression and in my suffering I turned again everything: against my loved ones, against myself and against God and reality itself. It only caused more pain. And just in case, no, the Devil does not own your soul, and one single act does not necessarily condemn you.
Going back to the original point, here are some prayers that may help you. I know they do help me a lot, and are the ones I tend to use when I feel further away from God:
I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do; and I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God. Amen
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life. Amen.
Have a link: ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/humility.htm

Pray them in that order, pray them like you mean it, chewing every word. It can be painful, but do it. Afterwards, proceed to your regular prayer (Pater Noster, Ave Maria, Signum Crucis, whatever you like to pray). While praying, try to contemplate your failings, and do it without self-pity nor self-judgement. No crap like "I'm so terrible, I can't do anything blah blah blah" or "I'm filth, I deserve death, I blah blah blah".
Try doing that. Won't even take you five minutes. Do it with a clean mind, without expecting something from it (an expectation is a demand; don't go around demanding stuff from the rest of reality, it owes you nothing). Hopefully it'll help, it certainly won't hurt.

Polite sage cause doble posting.
You're trying to be strong on your own. That's eating from the tree of good an evil. You cannot ask God to be strong by yourself, you have to be strong THROUGH God. It's a different thing. Chances are, He's trying to give you strength but you're blocking Him, you're ignoring Him. And as a result, the metaphorical whale swallowed you (metaphorical but still pretty much real).
You can't be strong, your will will always be weak. That's why you become a servant of God and rely on His will instead.

cool

Wrong. Did you read? This post of yours isnt looking good already.

ya.

sorry for your immense suffering

Thanks, I am really not in need of prayer advice, I have been there done that. I am sure I have spent 10x more than you trying to find the most humble, efficient, and good way to pray that I think god would want me to pray.. without actually having god tell my anything. but thanks. (I have also pretty much prayed those suggestions hundreds of times before anyway)

no shit, but after a while in my life, I realized that I cannot operate under my will alone. So I ask god, plead for his help, tell him I am his servant to do his will. ask him for the strength and will to live, to serve, to have purpose.

..it is ineffective.

So if I am STILL doing something wrong, and he refuses to show me what that is.. I am once again stuck here, just suffering, aimlessly, alone.

I'm not trying to be offensive, just to be sincere. You seem extremely resentful. Resentment comes when you don't get the things you consider you deserve, or when you get those you consider you don't deserve. How do you decide what you're entitled to? That's why I said you seemed to let arrogance get the best of you.
It also kind of seems you came here not to seek advice, but to reply with snarky comments, maybe even slightly toxic, to anyone who approaches you. Don't take this as a reprimand cause it is not; I'm trying to offer a different perspective based on what little I see, so maybe you can approach your problems from a different angle and maybe, just maybe, get a better understanding of your problems and have to face them. Did you really come here for advice? What were you expecting, what did you get? How did you respond and why was it (or wasn't it) appropriate? Reflecting calmly on your actions and motives can be a way to understand yourself better.
Believe when I say user: I hope the best for you. I hope you'll be able to find the roots of your problems, deep as they may be, and tear them out, even if it's painful, even if you have to chop down most of the tree. I hope one day you'll find how to live in peace.

Don't talk to smiley.

i've heard a lot of this smiley guy. Even in this board, and saw some of his action on the net, seems like a real weird guy. But i have some questions:
How do you identify smiley?
Why does he comes specifically here?
Shouldn't he help him?

Nice try Smiley, stop changing your IP