(funny) Tech support stories

Anyone got some? Here's one from last September:

Later that month:

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How are these funny?

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XDDDDDDD

There's a reason funny is between parentheses: those stories can be funny or angering.

The stories in the OP are neither.

You seem triggered enough

I worked at a phone company for about a year in college and i remember some lady called in and was like complaining her phone was dead/wouldn't charge/was broken/etc and all that happened was the battery died and she never turned it back on after charging it. Like she literally had never used the power button on the phone since she got it. I learned truly how dumb people are that day

Consumers deserve execution imo

this is why companies give up on consumer rights and embrace proprietary solutions
if they can't read, they won't be able to buy more products due to insufficient monies and brains

Was this an old person?

yeah i have lost full concern over the end user after working in support. People willingly decide to just not bother learning anything and want their asses wiped for them.

no older than 40-50 id say but sounded dumb as a rock in general. There's dozens of other instances of stuff like this though

As crazy as it may be, some people don't want to learn how things works. My mom doesn't understand the concept of a file tree to this day and gets lost if she can't find something in Word's most recent documents list. Just be thankful these people need your help and are willing to pay.

Mom visit me last week we went to Olive Garden. Told me my sister sent her a “hack” to the problems she was having with her macbook text editor

God I hate my mother, stupid cunt

That actually doesn't seem unreasonable to me. "Hacking" is the act of playful subversion; e.g. life hacks are a subversion of regular, menial conventions in daily tasks. By hack, your mother could have also been referring to something more superficial like macros or whatever.

>if you wanted them to paint your apartment or for peanuts for even if it takes a whole day, they'd think you're joking and would be enraged, call you an idiot and tell you to fuck off if you told them it's not a joke

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ops story is neither funny nor interesting
making fun of retarded normies is also not funny just sad

It depends, how retarded are we talking?

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half the time they dont even know whats going on kek

*when you make fun of them

youtube.com/watch?v=A-u9B6nouBo

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Speaking of tech support stories, I got one in progress:

Thanks I guess, Microsoft. Thinking of doing nothing to this thing anymore, buy them a first gen Core i5 ThinkPad with a SSD, and tell them to stop installing so much bullshit.

My imouto is the same way. See doesn't even do anything fancy,so the experience would be exactly the same.

force them to use linux

well actually ive gotten a cracked game to run on wine but i had to configure extra shit

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go
fuck
yourself

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but does she do cocaine?

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nigga i'll just theme the shit out of some DE or something lmao

dont for get to use google on edge! thats what it works best on :^)

>Microsoft Edge
One of these things is not like the other

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Yeah, theyre exactly the same

that's unless they have an MS Office class in which you have to learn the importance of the Microsoft Ribbon
I have been to one, it's a bit silly

Have you ever tried to use the ribbon with the keyboard? It's soo bad.
I have used it in like a ribbon, so maybe they improved it

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The amount of times I have heard people say that third line...
These people are so afraid of change that if the UI even remotely deviates from what they're used to, even if there's a feature missing that they don't use, they go into panic mode like you just dropped them in the congo and said "good luck!" with no guide or instruction
one woman I tried to convert to libreoffice gave up when she couldn't find 1 button that she used on ms office, for POWERPOINT, one button was all it took to break her spirit
this is why it's so hard to get ANYONE to drop microsoft, they've so ingrained the ui of microsoft products that having to adjust to any change makes them feel violated, unless they feel like there is literally no other option
I've walked on burning coals to convince people that win10 is literally not an option so that they switch to linux, and the worst they've managed to do since the switch is require me to come over and update it for them, because even the update reminder is too fucking confusing to them
jesus, people don't even want to read what's on the screen and therein lies the problem, they just want everything done automatically for them so they don't need to think any more

I have relatives that bitch nonstop about how fucked their computer is, and they know I fix computers, the kicker is that they don't believe shit I say yet they believe everything they see on cyber crime dramas on tv.

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Oh, it's *you*. It's been a looong time.

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I just want a job

Blacks.

you know about the class action lawsuit against apple because they intentionally slow down thier phones after some time right?
ok

there are several de you can theme to look like win10, then just replace the icon of ff with edge, no way these morons will notice.

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should have reported her for the patient data instead.

yeah sure bro i got you

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Serves you right for trusting a normie

the dude is my sisters fiance, his company pays for the food she eats, and the house she lives in, so even tho i feel like i got fucked pretty hard, its still not a total loss...

should have
A) signed a employment agreement so you can hold him accountable for not paying you
B) told your sister to marry someone else

well i already did B after the incident, and if i knew i was going do need A, i probably just would have stayed home that day...

Don't ever work for friends / family, that's a surefire way to cause bad blood. One party will assume they'll get loadsamone for doing nothing "cause we're friends", the other will assume they'll have to pay next to nothing "cause we're friends".
Money is where friendships end, if in a situation where friends are to pay you or vice versa, have a written contact to minimize any arguments. That, or try to avoid such situations all together.

As soon as money comes into play, you have to start documenting everything, especially if you need to take fuckers to court. Always read the laws in regards to temporary employment, as it will help you build a case against bad employers.

That's seems a rather rare case to occur, while this
is very common. Somehow it's always the party who needs the help who assumes the other will just do them a favor. Why would they seek the help of a "friend" if they intended to pay him more than they would pay a stranger? Also see and

What if the fuckers say that your documentation is pulled out of the ass? It's just your word against theirs anyhow, the fact that yours is written down on a piece of paper is hardly any kind of advantage.

What is so funny about your made up stories? The fact that you need to pretend on an internet forum that your relatives pay you for fixing their computers?

If at least one of the "friends" starts being an asshole once money is involved and tries to take advantage of the other(s), then yea, probably.

Just think how much money can be made on shit like that
Heading into cyberpunk pretty fast

Can confirm.

t. regularly fixes shit for others then gets paid

This ended up being a dead hard drive, a Hitachi drive with 9 billion dead sectors somehow.

I wonder how long it will take for the WD Black I put in to die.

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OK, seriously, how?
Do those fucking kids just play flash games from Chinese malware sites or what?

What could possibly go wrong?

Assholes who stealthily install miners on literally every system they have access to and think they can get away with installing a miner on are cancer.

I meant the keyboard scheme , killing keyboards forcing people to buy new ones

Should have made your "bro" realize you're not a disposable cuck from the beginning. I've had friends ask me to do physical labor and I did it once and it went similar to how you're describing. Now I just tell them no and when they ask me why I just say "I don't want to help you with physical labor." They don't even ask anymore because they realize I'm not going to take shit anymore. Same reason I don't fix friends/familys computers now as well. People become abusive and entitled and have no ability to appreciate it.

I've gotten more respect by just saying "no" than i ever did helping people out with their lives

actually im not a dog so i have no desire to assert my dominance over other people like some kind of fucking animal, i would like to think humanity has evolved past that shit, but every day i have to see these fucking apes with this nigger mentality and im reminded exactly why the world is in such shitty shape.

that said dont think for a second that i still do work for this kid, but youre not getting any respect for not helping people, youre just avoiding the possibility that youll feel disrespected by lmimting interaction with normies, in effect youre running away, how alpha...