How many men does it take to mop a floor?
None. It's a woman's job.
What do you do if a woman comes out of the kitchen complaining?
Make the chain shorter.
Why shouldn't women have driver's licenses?
There are no roads from the kitchen to the bedroom.
How many sexists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Let the bitch cook in the dark!
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just sit in the dark and bitch.
Is Google a woman? Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.
What do women and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck up cunts.
How do you get a woman to stop giving blowjobs?
Marry her.
What kind of cake makes women fat?
Wedding cake.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.
What do 3 million abused woman every year have in common?
They don't fucking listen.
Why do women call it PMS?
Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Why don't women wear wristwatches?
There's a perfectly good clock on the stove.
criminally underrated red pill jokes
Why do women have small feet?
It allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They ignore the lightbulb because it's broke.
Why do women have legs?
So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
What do a woman and an old washing machine have in common?
They both drip when they're fucked.
Why do brides wear white?
So the dishwasher matches the refrigerator.
All those jokes about a woman being out of the kitchen are stupid. How else is she supposed to clean the rest of the house?
What do you call the extra skin around the vagina?
A woman.
What's strong enough for a man, but made just for a woman?
THE BACK OF MY HAND
Man: Excuse me, can I smell your feet? Woman: Um, NO! Man: Oh, it must be your pussy then.
How do you find a woman's G-spot?
Who cares?
There's was a blind man walking he past a fish market and tooked a deep breath and said "Good morning, ladies!"
Did you hear about the new gay sitcom?
It's called "Leave it, it's beaver."
Why does it take two gay men to rape a girl?
One holds her down while the other does her hair.
A group of Lesbians and group of Gay guys leave for the beach at the same time. Who gets there first?
Too tough to call, cause the Lesbos get there lickety-split, but the guys packed their shit the night before.
What do you call a gay bar with no stools?
A fruit stand.
What does AIDS stand for?
Anally Injected Death Sentence
What does GAY stand for?
Got Aids Yet?
Did you hear about the gay midget? It took him a lot of courage, but he finally came out of the cupboard.
How much sperm does a queer have?
A buttload.
How do you make a faggot have sex with a woman?
Shit in her cunt.
What do queers call an upside-down bar stool?
Table for four.
Why don't niggers like to take aspirin?
Because they're white, they work, and they don't like picking the cotton out of the bottle…
What do niggers and sperm have in common?
Only one in one million works
Why don't niggers like cats?
Cats' cleanliness and intellect make the nigger feel inferior.
What did the niglet get for Christmas?
Your bike.
What's black on top and white on bottom?
Rape.