I'm making a cartoon series for my fam on Zig Forums

No wonder I was getting a He-Man vibe from this. As for my .02, I thought the story conflicted with the message said in certain points. Such as how were the men able to coherently talk to the women about too much mercy when they're covered in low IQ mud goo? How did the women do a 180 in their views after escaping the dimension? Some of it could perhaps use fleshing out. Also, is the voice for murdoch chan in this?

Thank you. As time goes by I'll have more and more assets to recycle. I don't throw much out.
I think each episode shows improvement. Bear in mind I didn't even know how to use this software a year ago. I have no intention of associating with any established studio or network. I make a living outside of animation and there would be no point to doing any of this if I didn't control every creative aspect of it.

Believe me I'm aware of masterful animation when I see it, that's not ever going to be me. I wouldn't even call myself an animator. I'm a cheater, but it's out of necessity because I'm going it solo with no budget. I'm glad I could hire actors this time. I

So people can see the thing I made.

Self published. I took it off the internet because my name was attached to it.

I'd consider ZOAR a pastiche of HeMan.

HA! I thought of this too. Shekinah said the goo makes the IQ drop by thirty points. Lets just consider that the men were genius level to begin with.

I think they kind of didn't. They didn't act aggressively towards anyone or demonstrate 'might'. It was definately a Deus Ex Machina situation with the lamb and that's weak writing.
To me these characters are archetypes so it's hard for me to make them learn or change things about themselves, they mostly just demonstrate principles. These are Women. They are acting like Women and with the men out of commission they basically had to submit to the dominant forces and perish in the process. IM NOT A GOOD WRITER BUT IM TRYING

i hope you are prepared to have your vids shoah'd by copyright laws.

I have a bee gees song in my first episode. I guess their algo recognized it and now any money the video makes goes to EMI records. I kind of expect to get kicked off there eventually. Actually I'd be a little disappointed if I didn't

If you do get removed, contact cheekyvideos. He will probably host your stuff.

Good writer or no, will always support an original content creator Zig Forumsack. Keep up the hard work

The brunette is the broad from Murdoch Murdoch, isn't it?

What are your thoughts on Hitler?

Of the problems you can fix feasibly with a one man show I'd advise you to focus on pacing. There were a few montage scenes of this episode that could have been shorter but also cut for more drama. You need to cut faster to add impact to the imagery, but you also used some fades to black where I think a cut or "smash" to black would have been more effective. You might want to study some movie trailers for timing to maximize impact.

Something to think about with writing that will also impact your pacing: if dialogue, or events don't seem absolutely necessary cut them. Kill your darlings, or at least mercilessly trim them. You've got some good jokes in this episode that are surrounded by filler content. If you cut down on the filler you can focus on making those jokes have maximum impact. For example, the "you don't understand the jewish struggle" montage scene could be seriously cut (all of the montage scenes could be cut down) and still have the same comedic value.

All in all for one person this is impressive, and I think the music is actually a perfect fit for the campy he-man vibe. Though I would say the obvious 3d rendered models is working against that vibe, I'm wondering if some filter or alternate rendering style could work around this, but honestly it's an internet show and this is a very solid beginning.

Also when you find yourself writing some cut and paste phrase like "taking candy from a baby" and you aren't going to make a joke out of it. "Taking shekels from the goyim" etc. you're missing a huge opportunity and making some serious cringe. Though, given the tone, cringe doesn't seem entirely out of place

Well done user. Maybe as a challenge for yourself try to make the same amount of jokes and plot into a shorter episode?

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