Creulty comes in many forms.
Absentee the least of them.
Jewish Intrusion Into My Childhood
Tyler Robinson
Ryder Jackson
if you're a jew fuck you
Blake Wright
At the time, I thought it was my own presentation or behaviour was driving the bad times I had around certain other kids. On top of this, many of my teachers, neighbors, adolescent and early twenties college (((friends))) turned out to be Synagogue of Satan. The vast majority of my academic and religious life was completely saturated with kike propaganda as well. A mainline horror movie with invisible monsters. Much too much later in life, after a lot of reading on the kikes and careful written reflection, it all really was just the kikes. In the neighborhoods, hippie-boomers behaved basically as kikes or neutral familiars: while everyone else elders were so disgusted by the Hiribu inculcation of world fratricide that an omerta was common. A Wittgenstein effect arising from the problem of; what can be said? In that negroidic silence between ignorance and recalcitrant culpability, a lot of malevolent invader kikes arrived expecting fanfare, bullying with their lies, black propaganda, rumor mongering, banking juntas, intrusion into the professions, spycraft, marketing scams, schtadlans, property and business buyouts, lobby hives, compromat and degenerate lifestyles. Difficult not to be deceived in that environment. Clown world boomers were zero help, probably less so. Not really understanding my intuitive impulse, I kept trying to get away from the kikes, relocating many times, which didn't turn out to be a functional strategy. It also had the disadvantage of appearing irrational. With the web now, despite the Neanderthal censorship – learned more than I could have reasonably hoped without. I am optimistic that a civic minded generation is coming around to fashy natsoc rationales.
tl;dr – life with kikes intolerable, fratricide bad, future not completely gone.